Day # 65 - Contagion III

I've written before about the contagious nature of moods. We've all said or heard, "You're bringing me down." Or, "I'm here to cheer you up." We can set a mood and have our mood altered by the people around us. This not only applies to friends, it applies to people who stand in line ahead of or behind us. It applies to customers and co-workers. It definitely applies to other drivers when we're stuck in traffic.

I witnessed this firsthand yesterday as a troublesome client got the better of one of my co-workers. He's usually a very nice guy but this particular client has managed to upset every person who works there. Except me. I find this person fascinating. I'm pretty sure she has some kind of mental condition. Or, as my co-workers so gently put it: she's nuts.

It's obvious that we shouldn't let other people determine our mood for us - unless, of course, they are spreading happiness and joy, in which case we welcome it. But if a person is difficult and disagreeable, you must let it slide.

Here goes:

A person is unpleasant. You can't stand this person. They put you in a bad mood and now you are unpleasant. Congratulations, you have become that which you despise. You failed.

Or:

A person is unpleasant. You can't stand this person. You attempt to kill them with kindness. It doesn't work. Tell yourself that they are a temporary guest in your life. They will soon be gone.

See, if you allow this person to put you in a bad mood, the unpleasantness lasts a lot longer than if you view them as a blip on your screen. Try to determine the rest of their day if you can, but, whatever you do, don't allow them to determine even a minute of yours.

Another thing, if this person is crazy or mentally ill as I suspect with this particular person, do not hold it against them. It's no different than hating a person because of their skin or eye color or some other uncontrollable factor. Include this person in your prayers and direct your positivity at them. Be part of the solution, not part of the problem.

Today's Lessons:

- Seek first to understand, then to be understood.
- Be a positive influence rather than a receptacle for negative influence.
- Try to find the good in every person and every situation.

Today's Lessons:

- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better.
- I determine my mood. No one can determine it for me.
- I am in control of my emotions, my reactions, and the impression I make on others.

Spread the joy. Kill the sorrow and anger. We are all looking for ways to change the world. This is where you start.

- Adolfo

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Day # 64 - How to lose everything you really want

There's an old expression: If you always do what you always did, you'll always have what you always had.

I am involved in several organizations and businesses. In more than one case, I have walked in blind and taught myself. I am a fairly intelligent person and I catch on quick. The advantage to being inexperienced is that there is less to un-learn. Your experience in other areas can be translated to your current project. Whether it works or not, everyone learns something and everyone is better for the experience.

When I became Chairman of the chamber of commerce, my experience in such things was limited. After two years on the job, there was no one, save for my enemies, who would have said I did anything other than an outstanding job. Yes, I had enemies. Impossible to believe, isn't it?

How did I succeed? Am I a genius? No. Did I read a manual? No. There is no "Successfully Running a Chamber for Dummies." But if there were, I still would not have read it. Now that I look back at the experience, I could write that book.

Of course, all this works in reverse. If you are inflexible, if you are so set in your ways that you are unwilling to try new things, you will fail. You will fail a lot. Listen to your colleagues, let their experience become your experience. When you disagree, do not resort to insulting their talents or abilities. Know what you don't know. Know your limits. When you know your limits, you can get past them. Until then, get comfortable because you ain't going nowhere.

Today's Lessons:

- None of us is as smart as all of us.
- You don't know if you don't try.
- To have something you've never had, you have to become someone you've never been.

Today's Declarations:

- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better.
- I am open to new ideas.
- I know my limitations because knowing them is the only way of overcoming them.

Stay stuck in your ways if you want. It's the best way to lose everything you want. Get out of the box, get out of the past, and stretch yourself. It's the only way.

Make it your best day yet. God bless you.

- Adolfo

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Day # 63 - Choose to love

Every relationship goes through trials. You'll hear people tell you marriage is hard, raising kids is hard, dealing with the in-laws is hard. The truth is, when you look at the whole picture, it's not hard at all. There are going to be challenges, but you have to accept that any situation involving two or more human beings will always have its ups and downs.

Remember the last time you went to Disney World? Do you remember the rides or the lines? The smiles or the heat? Think about how you think about things. Your perception determines your reality and the truth is if you perceive only the bad in a situation, the good becomes imperceptible.

My mom used to tell me a story about the pessimist who won the lottery. He won a ton of money and there he was sitting on the curb, head in hands, depressed. A friend came by and congratulated him on his great fortune. The lotto winner could only sigh and hang his head. When his friend asked why he was so glum, he explained that the money was going to bring more problems than blessings.

"What kind of problems?" the friend asked.
The new millionaire responded, "Now I have to buy a brand new Mercedes and a house on the ocean. I'm going to have to take great vacations and marry a beautiful woman. This is the worst thing that ever happened to me."

I am not implying that winning the lottery is the solution to all your problems. What I am saying is that we sometimes fail to look at the big picture. Your husband leaves his socks on the floor. Big deal. Your wife wants to show you what she bought at the mall when you're trying to watch the big game. So what? There will always be another game. Pick up your socks. Love one another. Love your children, your parents, your neighbors, your co-workers, even your boss and especially your enemies. Only love can conquer hate but it only works if you put it out there.

Make it your mission to find the good in everyone. Start with your spouse, then your children, your parents, and make it a habit. Make finding the good in others such a habit that you become almost childlike in your innocence. If you raise your expectations, you'd be surprised how often people will rise to meet them.

Today's Lessons:

- Love is a choice. Choose to love.
- Seek the good. Ignore and forget the bad.
- People will meet you somewhere between your example and your expectations.

Today's Declarations:

- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better.
- I choose love over hate and as I send love into the world, even more love comes back.
- I focus on the good in every person and every situation.

What the world needs now, is... You know the words. Spread the love. We can make the world a better place.

Make it your best day yet. God bless you.

- Adolfo


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Day # 62 - Present tense believing

"I will" means nothing. "I plan to" means less. "Goal" is a mushy word, too, don't you think? "I am," or "I have" are a lot stronger. "Promise" is stronger than "Goal."

It's important to have positive expectations. It's more important to believe that the positive things you want are already happening. The future is an abstraction. Nothing ever happens in the future. Everything happens now. The future never arrives no matter how much we plan or hope for it. Like Orphan Annie said about tomorrow: "You're only a day away," But it's always a day away.

This is something incredible and simple. For 61 days I have been declaring what I am going to do, what I am going to be, when I should have been declaring and believing all along that these things have already come to pass. These things already are. I am not going to become great, I am great. I am not going to get over my habits, I am over my habits. I am already successful, I am already happy, I am healed and I am prospering in every sense of the word.

Don't believe the good things are coming, believe they have already arrived. You will be pleasantly surprised.

Today's Lessons:

- See yourself as you want to be, and believe you are looking at the present, not some distant future. Repeat constantly.
- Accept it as reality and it will become so, see it as a dream and it will remain so.

Today's Declarations:

- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better.
- I am the person I have always dreamt of being.
- I am successful, I am happy, I am a complete person.

Start believing you're already there and you'll be there before you know it. It's taking positive thinking to the next level. Make it happen, oh, never mind. It already has!

Make it your best day yet. God bless you.

- Adolfo

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Day # 61 - Keep on keeping on

It's late. I usually write in the morning, about 5 or six. It's been a long day and I would rather be reading a book or even sleeping. But I committed to writing every day and I plan to, even if it's just to keep from breaking a promise. Habits are important and this entire exercise is about habits. It's about breaking the bad ones and forming good ones. Writing is a good one, so I press on toward the goal.

It's important to remember that while it's not good to do things just for the sake of doing things, it's even more important not to put things off just because you're a little tired or uninspired. I am writing what comes to mind right now, but there is a lesson in all of this.

Today's Lessons:

- Honor your commitments.
- Action does not always equal progress.
- I've said it before: Do It!

Today's Declarations:

- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better.
- I am a person who honors my commitments.

Not much to share today, but already working on tomorrow's post (in my head.) See you in a few hours.

Make it your best day yet. God bless you.

- Adolfo

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Day # 60 - Dream Dream Dream

We took a drive through horse country yesterday in West Palm Beach. I mean waaaay West! We were a couple of miles from California if I'm not mistaken. We lowered the windows and listened to the... nothing. And it was lovely. I've always loved the idea of living on a farm or a ranch. I probably couldn't milk a cow and I definitely wouldn't slaughter an animal for meat. I would, however, dismember a tomato without a moment's hesitation. Never doubt my manliness or my penchant for unspeakable savagery (with veggies!) I would be the only farmer in the world shopping for protein at Publix.

It was something my mother and I used to talk about and now I am reminded of the forgotten dreams of years ago and I know that I never outgrew the dream I just took my eyes off the prize.

When we're kids we're told to sit up, pay attention, and stop daydreaming. What we should tell our kids is that it's okay to daydream, but not at the expense of living in the now. Daydream in the car, daydream a while instead of watching TV. Take a little time before going to sleep. We should instill in our children the value of visualization. Daydreaming may seem like a dirty word, but visualization is a useful exercise and let's not lie to ourselves, the words are interchangeable.

Today's Lessons:

- Dream. You gotta have a dream if you wanna make a dream come true!
- Creativity is something we all have. We just don't all use it. Use it!
- Set aside a little daydream time every day. Missing a little TV won't kill you.

Today's Declarations:

- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better
- I will recapture the dreams of my youth. I will make them reality.
- If I can believe it, I can achieve it.

Turn off the computer and stop being "productive" for a while. It's probably the most productive thing you'll do all day.

Make it your best day yet. God bless you.

- Adolfo


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Day # 59 - The mouths of babes

Have you ever listened to kids having a conversation when they don't know there are grown ups around? It can be the most enlightening thing. It's also usually pretty funny. Sometimes the older kid will take on the parental role. The little kid will talk back. The dynamics are pretty fascinating. But the best part is just the way they talk and the words they use.

When Emily was about a year old and Melissa was three, we took a trip to Daytona Beach. We left late on a Friday night so they had fallen asleep in the car and were awake and charged by the time we got there. We checked into the hotel room, which was way up high and had a great view of the city and the bridge and when Emily looked out the window and saw all those lights, she started yelling, "Watata! Watata!" And we thought it was hilarious. We thought it was just baby talk. It turns out that "Wata" was what she nicknamed Melissa. She was excited and wanted her sister to enjoy the beautiful view along with her.

When AJ was little, he used to call me "Lucky."It took forever for me to realize he was calling me crazy. He just meant "Loco" and it came out "Lucky"

Yesterday, Emily kept telling us she wanted "Cowbell Ice Cream." Can you guess what that is? Carvel! Mosquitoes are Spigitos, and do we need to get started on Cinnamon?

The point is that we know children are honest and innocent. I think their honesty is a result of their innocence. They are sponges, but sponges hold things, they don't keep things. When you give a sponge a little squeeze or a twist, it all comes out.

Some of the greatest things I've learned I've learned from kids. Think about it. There's more there than cute little noses covered in Cowbell Ice Cream.

Today's Lessons:

- Listen to your children. Listen to all children. The wisdom of the world is in those little mouths.
- Remember when you were a kid. Find that joy, that innocence, that curiosity.
- Never grow up.

Today's Declarations:

- Day by day, in every way, I am getting better and better.
- I will listen to children, knowing that all wisdom does not come from old men with white beards.
- I will unleash my inner child and experience the joy and beauty of the world, which can only be discovered through curiosity.

So next time someone tells you to grow up, tell them to lighten up. Life is short, there are no do-overs, and it will be over before you know it. Now go fly a kite!

Make it your best day yet. God bless you.

- Adolfo

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Day # 58 - Gratitude

If you don't appreciate what you have, God will never give you more. You will never earn more. You will never have more. I own a small event and party rental company and we do a lot of community stuff including back to school heath fairs. It has always amazed me how ungrateful some people are. After three years and thousands of snow cones, popcorn, and cotton candy bags given away, it still amazes me. I don't know why "please" and "thank you" are so hard to say.

And this is not something exclusively to poor or minority communities. We work all over the county in all kinds of neighborhoods and serve practically every demographic and it's the same all over the place. What I have learned is that rotten parents make rotten kids and being spoiled has nothing to do with being rich.

We give away these treats and never get a please or thank you and every time I say I'm going to hang up a sign that reads:

Cotton Candy, Sno-Kone or Popcorn: $1 Each or "Please" and "Thank You" but I never do it. Part of me feels bad for these kids. I do ask them for the magic word and I usually get it. Other times I get an attitude from them. I simply remind myself that I am responsible for making sure no one ever looks at my kids and thinks the things I am thinking about these kids and their parents.

Today's Lessons:

- Be grateful for what you have and who God made you to be.
- Learn from dogs. All you have to do is feed them and rub their tummies and they will lick your face. In fact, you leave them home alone and bored all day and they greet you with a smile and a wagging tail. They don't care that you were gone, they're just grateful that you're now home.
- Thank God for everything.

Today's Declarations:

- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better.
- I am grateful for all I have and this gratitude makes it possible for me to have more than I ever dreamed of.
- My children are a reflection of me. I will teach them gratitude, humility, and humanity, by exhibiting gratitude, humility, and humanity.

Just try adding "please" and "thank you" to more of your conversations. Even when asking for something you are entitled to, even if it's from someone who is obligated to do it. You will feel better and you'll see the positive influence it has on the people you interact with.

Make it your best day yet. God bless you.

- Adolfo

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Day # 57 - Perspective

I was sitting there and when I heard it, I knew it had to be an exaggeration. A figure of speech. No way he could be dead. We walked to where his room was to check. People were standing around the door, looking at one another. No one was saying much of anything. One person was already on the phone, presumably talking to 911.

I asked the first thing that came to mind: whether anyone had checked his pulse. No one had. I went inside to do it and there he was on the floor, face down, at peace. I couldn't bring myself to touch him, but I already knew why no one else had.

And in that moment, something in me changed.

It was my birthday, a day I call inventory day. I look back at the 365 days since my last birthday and I measure my progress. The improvement isn't always that impressive. But that moment, looking at this man, changed everything. That evening, as I sat there, having dinner, I couldn't stop the tears. I couldn't stop thinking about how some of us will have lives that will be celebrated, chronicled, and written about, while some of us barely register a blip. His name was Vincent. I barely knew him. It was the first time I have ever seen something like this. I can't speak for anyone else, but with me, he registered much more than a blip. Vincent was my catalyst. I found out he hadn't spoken to his father for over 35 years. Knowing that he never will makes me hurt all over. There is no tomorrow and we've spent all our yesterdays. All we have is the now. The here.

As bad as I felt for Vincent, my heart is breaking, shattering, for his father. Vincent has moved on but his father is left only with regret and the 35 year old memory of a son whom he will never see again. I'm left to wonder: how did it get to that? How do we let things get so out of hand. I think of my own son, my oldest boy Steven, and I see that it can happen. It doesn't matter who is right or wrong, all that matters is that today is all there is. Steven and I are so much alike that it seems we will never get along. We rarely talk without it breaking down into a fight. I can't change him, but I am changing me. I miss my boy and I want to be a bigger part of his life. I have added a new goal.

Last night, as I lay in bed, all I could think was that Vincent's death meant more than it seemed. How he died wasn't the point. The cause, the place, none of it mattered. That I happened to be there, that it happened on my birthday, that I went in there with the intention of taking his pulse and couldn't bring myself to touch him, that the casual attitude of some of the people around me offended me so deeply it nearly brought me to tears, that the tears finally found their way out; all this tells me it meant more than just something that may or may not make the news; something that may or may not matter to a world that is so big and moving so fast that human beings don't have the time to be human beings.

Vincent's life mattered. It matters. It matters to me. It has changed everything. A little bit of whatever good I do during my remaining time on this planet will belong to Vincent Clingerman. This is his legacy.

Today's Lessons:

- If you love someone, do not set them free. All that other stuff is nonsense.
- Tell the people you love how much they mean to you. Do it now. There is no later. Later is an abstraction.
- Make your life count. Use your life to improve the world. Start with yourself and let it grow.

Today's Declarations:

- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better.
- I will make my life count.
- I will add value to my life by adding value to the lives of others.


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Day # 56 - Inventory Day

I am 39 years old today. Time to take inventory:

Fortune and Fame? No.
Ferrari? No.
Vacation Homes in Aspen or the South of France? Negatory.
All The Happiness in the World? YES.

A wife who loves me. Four healthy children. I would have to be an ungrateful soul to expect more from life. I do, however, expect more from myself. Why? Because I know I am capable of more. Wasting ability is a sin. I will sin no more. (That one, at least. There are a few others that won't be eradicated so easily.)

Today's Lessons:

- Don't dwell in the past. Learn from it. All that will ever happen, will happen in the now!
- Count your blessings.

Declarations:

- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better.
- I declare today to be a National Holiday! Take the rest of the day off.

Thanks to everyone for the birthday wishes. I am touched. I love you all.

Make it your best day yet, I know I will. God bless you.

- Adolfo


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Day # 55 - Contagion II

I am out of shape. Have been for a long time. It's not that I'm a slob. I'm not one of those people who can't walk up a flight of steps or throw a Frisbee without dropping to the ground; I'm just heavier than I should be. It's contagious, too. Of the six of us, (my wife, four kids, me) three of us are overweight. I have been preaching to my wife about this for the longest time and I have been an Oprah about it for years. (By Oprah, I mean I would gain and lose and regain weight constantly.) I always felt I needed Abby's support. I didn't want there to be soda or cookies in the house, but they would always find their way here.

*Funny thing about me. I will not go to the grocery store to buy these things, but if they are in my house, I devour them without mercy. I can tear through an entire box of cookies - or at least I used to. I have learned will power over the last 55 days and I get stronger every day.

So what began with me giving up caffeine led to me committing to losing 30 pounds by the end of my 365 days. I also decided to take the bull by the horns where my daughter is concerned, offering her incentives to drink less soda and drink more water. I also promised my wife that if certain items appeared in the house, specifically soft drinks, I would pour them down the sink. I proved my seriousness.

I didn't try to influence her, I just told her that I was determined and expected her support. A funny thing happened on the way to my goal. She started noticing the changes in me and teamed up with a co-worker who is very health conscious and now she's lecturing me the way I have lectured her for ten years.

Seeing how committed I was started something in her. Her co-worker was the catalyst. Now we are working on the same goal together. We went for a walk last night. Not a stroll, but a brisk walk. I was thrilled at her determination and I know this is the beginning of a lasting improvement to our lives.

For years, I didn't do what I knew I had to do because I wanted Abby to come with me. When I began this project, I decided to take this additional step on my own. I wasn't thinking about whether she would follow me or not. I just knew I had to do what I had to do. So I did it. And my actions were more effective than all the begging, pleading, reasoning and goading of the last decade.

Of course, we all know that leadership is something done by example. I want to make the best things happen for my family. This is the first step of many.

Today's Lessons:

- Don't talk about what you want others to do, show them what you want done.
- Leadership is more about action than words.
- "Do as I say, not as I do," is hypocrisy at its worst.
- When trying to convince someone of the benefits of a specific course of action, take the course yourself and let them follow at their own pace.

Today's Declarations:

- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better
- I will always work at improving myself, knowing I am bringing the people I love along for the ride
- I am a leader of my business, my community and of my family.

I feel great this morning. Tonight will be another power walk or YMCA or the park. I think we finally got on the mountain. Now we have to climb it. Keep us in your prayers, you are in mine.

Make it your best day yet. God bless you.

-Adolfo

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Day # 54 - Attitude v. Aptitude

"It's your attitude, not your aptitude, that determines your altitude."
- Zig Ziglar

Why is it that some of us get farther than others? Have you ever had a boss that you know was not nearly as smart or capable as you? How about a lazy boss? Aren't those the worst? Now be honest; how much time did you spend thinking about it? Did you dwell on it? Did you sit there with your co-workers whining about how unfair life is? Or did you let it inspire you?

There are always going to be people who seem to have more than they deserve. There are always going to be people who feel they have less than they deserve. The truly successful people don't think in turns of deserving anything. They set a goal and they work for it. When they hit that goal, they move on to the next one.

I have met people in my life who were very educated and working for minimum wage. I have known high school dropouts (like me) who have achieved some measure of success. And I have met people who can barely read that have managed to be extremely successful. What separates them?

Some of us just don't care that we're not "supposed" to be successful. We work hard, some work very hard. We save our pennies, improve our lives, keep the right attitude, and soon enough make something of ourselves. I have had ups and downs like anyone else. I've learned a little from both, and I can tell you that attitude matters a lot more than aptitude.

And if failure bothers you so much that you find yourself paralyzed with self-pity, all I can say is MAN UP! You learn more from failure than from success. Get off your behind, don't have a pity party, don't be a whiner. Don't think about that the other guy has an advanced degree or he went to a better school or he has an uncle who plays golf with the governor. Who cares about uncles. You think playing golf with the governor is important? Write it down as a goal and make it happen. Have the right attitude and you can overcome anything and everything. You're going to fall now and then. You're going to have your moments in the dark. Only a positive attitude will shine brightly enough to help you find your way out.

Today's Lessons:

- Having the right attitude is more important than the right sheepskin.
- Positive thinking will allow you to overcome any obstacle.
- Don't focus on what you don't have. Don't focus on what others have. Focus on what you want.

Today's Declarations:

- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better.
- I will continually adjust my attitude to ensure I am focused on my goals.
- I will have a positive attitude and my positive attitude will light my path and lead me to where I want to be.

Forget what you don't have. Forget what you don't know. Do what you were meant to do. Have the right attitude and nothing else matters.

Make it your best day yet. God bless you.

- Adolfo


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Day # 53 - A little more

Jim Rohn once defined success as doing what the other guy won't do. It's true. We are all equal to a certain point. It's what we do beyond that point that determines whether we will succeed.

Success happens when you:

Work one more hour.
Run one more mile.
Fight one more round.
Make one more call.
Read one more book.

It's the little bit extra that makes the difference. It's the above and the beyond. It's the extra. The finish, the extra effort, are what define us. If you do not give extra effort, you are not going to be noticed, at least not in a positive way.

How many golf balls has Tiger Woods hit in front of TV cameras? I don't know the answer but I would bet it's just a fraction of what he's hit when no one was around. How may hours does a performer rehearse for each hour on stage? How many hours does an "A" student spend studying for a test that will probably be over in less than an hour? How much time does a "C" student spend studying? How about a "D" student?

Your results, your success or failure, are a direct result of how hard you are willing to work. If you feel like you aren't where you want to be, work a little harder, put in a little more effort. Spend a little more time preparing. Do a little more than you've ever done before. Do what the other guy won't do.

Today's Lessons:

- "The only thing that overcomes hard luck is hard work." - Harry Golden
- "Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all." - Sam Ewing
- "There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure." - Colin Powell

Today's Declarations:

- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better.
- I will succeed by doing more than I have ever done, and by doing more than is expected of me.
- I will work harder than my colleagues. I will not complain. I work hard and when my work is done, I will ask for more.

I am not telling you to be workaholic, but I am telling you that the road to success is long and hard and forty hours is not enough time to get there.

Make it your best day yet. God bless you.

- Adolfo

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Day # 52 - Testing the theory

I went to bed Friday night a little on the early side. No, my life is not "exciting." It is, however, complete and satisfying. So there! I woke up Saturday morning around three AM. I read a little, wrote my blog, and went back to bed around five.

0700 - A knock at the door. I notice it on a subconscious level because I am asleep. I am on my way to consciousness when I hear my daughter begin to scream, "Oh my God!" It's obvious she's freaking out. She's crying now. The time is 0701.

I run to the front door, along the way, I notice Baxter, my dog, is more freaked out than usual I look out the front window and I see a neighbor there with his two boxers. This explains Baxter's behavior, but I don't know why this man is knocking on my door at 7 AM. He's never knocked before... then I notice something in the road and it all catches up with me and makes sense.

I go outside and walk with my neighbor to the street where a small dog is laying on her side. If not for the blood, she would appear to be sleeping. She is wearing a collar and I recognize her at once. Her name was Ruby. I walk to her owner's house and knock. By this time, the other neighbor, the one who discovered the dog, is ready to move on. I know this so I tell him I'll handle it from here. He gladly obliges, leaving me to deliver the bad news. I knock again and no one answers. I walk back to my house to gather my thoughts. My little girl is hysterical. I take her away from the window. I comfort her as best I can and tell her not to look outside. I take off the collar. I cover the carcass with a towel, hoping the contrast of white on asphalt will prevent further damage. I look on the tag for the address to make sure I had the right address. I did. This sucks. I notice my hands have her blood on them now. I walk back to the neighbor's house.

I knock again. No answer. Again. No answer. There are two numbers on her tag. I call the first one. No answer. I dial the second one. No answer. I decide to leave a message, knowing I have no idea what to say. Here goes:

"Hi, my name is Adolfo Jimenez. I'm standing in front of your house. I live a few doors down... I found your dog... She was hit by a car... in front of my driveway..."

Now I feel like I just confessed to a crime I did not commit. Think fast, Jimenez.

"One of our neighbors discovered her and knocked on my door because he thought she was my dog..." I think I'll bring her to your house for you."

Good job, Einstein. What did you say that for? On second thought. I can't keep the animal. I put the carcass, towel and all, in a garbage bag. She's lighter than I expect. She also looks surprisingly intact. Aside from the thick stream of congealed blood that has left her mouth, she looks like she's sleeping. I'm about to take off the rubber gloves when I notice you can see the blood through the bag. I seal the bag up as best I can, tie it tight, and place it in another bag. I then had to wash the blood off the street. I felt for my kids it was essential to eliminate any trace of what had happened. I then took the bag to the neighbor's house, knocked one more time, then decided to leave it there with the collar on top. Thank God that's over. I throw out the gloves. Wash my hands, and begin the rest of the day, which is scheduled to be a good day.

My son, AJ, is scheduled to get his head shots done at 11:00 AM by my friend Jonas Sears. AJ is an actor and has been cast in his first feature film. Ain't life grand? Only the car won't start. Battery? Sounds like it. I call Jonas. He goes out of his way to come over and give us a jump. We're an hour behind schedule now and he is all smiles. We get to the hotel, where the ballroom will double as a studio, and they get to work while I go to the office to catch up on e-mails and calls.

My phone rings.

"Did you find my dog?"

I hear Yogi Berra: "It ain't over till it's over." I get to relive it. I explain the situation to the lady on the phone, who is crying. I then tell her about the indignity I committed when I left her doggie on her doorstep wrapped in a towel and two garbage bags. She thanks me and we end the call. AJ, Jonas, and I end the day at the restaurant. AJ has a couple of Sprites. Jonas and I have a beer. It was a great day. Yes, it really was.

I was tested. The sleeplessness. My crying little girl and the knock on the door and the freaked out dog waking me up. Having to handle the little doggy. Having to comfort my baby. Washing blood from the street. Delivering bad news. The car not starting. Running late.

It was a good day not because these things happened. It was a good day because I chose to make it a good day. I chose not to get upset about having to play animal control officer or about knowing I will soon have to spend money on a new car battery. I chose to be grateful for all the wonderful things I have. I chose to be grateful for the blessings instead of upset by the inconveniences.

Today's Lessons:

- Regardless of how your day begins, your attitude will determine how it ends, which is all that matters.
- Sometimes you will be put into positions that will make you want to lose your cool, or your hope, or your focus. Don't let it happen. Rise above, pass the test, and be your very best.
- It's when we have to deliver bad news or witness the pain of others that we discover our humanity.

Today's Declarations:

- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better.
- I will always have a positive attitude.
- I will not let inconveniences rob me of my joy.
- I will always do my best to comfort those who need to be comforted.

Be the rock you know you can be. Be the person people turn to. Be a person of character and integrity. Even if you haven't always been. Today can be the day when you turn it all around.

Make it your best day yet. God bless you.

- Adolfo


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Day # 51 - Contagion

Contagion: The ready transmission or spread as of an idea or emotion from person to person.

Laughter is contagious. So are sadness, anger, depression, melancholy, laughter, silliness and just about every other emotion. If one emotion is contagious, it stands to reason that they all are. The same can be said for attitude. Your attitude sets the mood for your organization, your family, your social circle. In short, your attitude colors your life.

If I have learned anything in the last 50 days, it's that happiness is a choice. I know now more than ever that I am the greatest factor in the determination of the kind of day I am having. If I decide to let traffic, car trouble, co-workers, or the weather or whatever determine the kind of day I am going to have, every day will be a bad day. I choose to be happy.

I have no illusions about this. I know I will have sad or angry moments in my life. I'm still human, but generally, I will be happy, and I will allow others to be infected by my good attitude while making myself immune to those who have a negative attitude. In this case more than in just about any other, it is better to give than receive.

Lessons:

- Happiness is a choice
- Your attitude is contagious. Spread the love, lose the attitude.
- Before your toes touch the floor in the morning, decide you will have a good day. Say it out loud. Repeat daily. Improvement in your life guaranteed or your money back!


Today's Declarations:

- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better.
- Today I will spread happiness and positivity wherever I go.
- I am immune to bad attitudes and negativity.

Have fun. You only get one chance at today. Quit whining. Quit being sour and pitiful. Don't go on facebook and cry about Starbucks screwing up your coffee. Focus on what matters. Choose to be happy - and spread the joy. It's how you make the world a better place.

Make it your best day yet. God bless you.

- Adolfo

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Day # 50 - Lemons

I can't sleep. I fell asleep a little on the early side and now here I am. My daughter woke me around 1:00 AM and that was that. I read a little after attempting to sleep and I am here, making lemonade out of this morning's lemons. I would rather be asleep, no denying that, but rather than laying awake in bed, I am here.

All our lives, we will be given lemons. What we do with them is up to us. I have always had sleep issues but since I don't like pills, I dealt with it. For years I would lay awake or watch TV. Now, I read or write. If God has given me this time, I see no sense in wasting it. This is a time to be productive, when the world is asleep and there are no interruptions.

What are your lemons? What's keeping you up? In my case it's typically biology, it's how I'm built. Or is it? I have demons like anyone else and they scream the loudest when the world is quietest. How productive would it be to lay there and listen to the problems echoing in my head? I can't solve them now. They will be there in the morning and I will deal with them then. Trying to deal with them now would only hyper me up and keep me awake longer. To every thing, there is a time.

Lessons:

- When life gives you lemons, and it will, make lemonade. Lemonade makes something bitter into something sweet.
- Don't fight yourself, change yourself. If you can't change something, embrace it and make it work for you.

Today's Declarations:

- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better.
- I will make the best of everything I am given today and every day.

Enjoy your lemonade.

Make it your best day yet. God bless you.

- Adolfo

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Day # 49 - Forgiveness

There's nothing like meeting someone who has really faced adversity, I mean real adversity, not the insignificant crap we all whine about, to help you put things in perspective. Today, I found myself in a unique position. I attended a luncheon where the guest speaker was a young man named Patrick Knight. Patrick is an attorney, a former president of the Coconut Grove Jaycees, and an all-around nice guy. He was also the victim of a terrible crime last Thanksgiving - one you undoubtedly heard about.

When I found out he would be our speaker,I wasn't sure I could handle it. I am a sentimental and emotional individual and his story is an emotional one. (I will not go into details here.)

I ran into someone at the breakfast whom I hadn't spoken to in a while. Since he fired me, as a matter of fact. The circumstances of my dismissal are irrelevant, but I can say I felt betrayed, hurt, and angry. I said hi to my former boss and we chatted. As it turned out, I sat next to him during the lunch. I had decided a while back that I had forgiven him but I didn't know how I would react when I saw him. I felt no anger, no resentment. When I told him how things are going I told him they were great and I meant it. He told me things weren't the same without me at the office. I smiled. He told me he hadn't been able to replace me. I reminded him that he never would. I am irreplaceable. Someone else could do my own job (not nearly as well as I did it) and they can sit at my old desk (not looking quite as good as I did) but there can never be another me.

I guess God afforded me a unique opportunity to confront what used to be a painful part of my past and compare it to a real challenge. I know now I never had anything to complain about. My life was never bad. I just hit a speed bump.

Today's Lessons:

- Living well is the best revenge.
- When you don't forgive someone who has hurt you, you only hurt yourself. They can't feel your anger, it doesn't hold them back. It only hurts you. Let it go.
- Friends are hard to find, but enemies are hard to lose. Make the better choice and be a friend to everyone.

Today's Declarations:

- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better.
- I will embrace my enemies (perceived or otherwise.)
- I will love everyone.

Today I regained a friend. We're not moving in together or anything, but it was nice to bury the past and leave it where it belongs.

Make it your best day yet. God bless you.

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Day # 48 - Reminders

When the road is long, it's easy to zone out, to forget, even if for the briefest moment, where you are going. After 48 days, this has happened to me on several (brief) occasions. I work in a place where there are literally dozens of televisions. Everywhere you look, a hi-def screen. They are, more often than not, tuned to sporting events, but every now and then one is placed to the news. So I know the oil spill is still happening. I am not an environmentalist, but I am seriously annoyed that this is still going on.

Where's the government?

Exactly. Government fails at what it's really supposed to do. These people can't stop an oil leak or balance a budget, but we put them in charge of our health care? Something does not compute. But anyway...

I heard about George Steinbrenner, owner of the Yankees, passing away of a massive heart attack. All I could think about was how he was portrayed on Seinfeld and that he fired Yogi Berra. Not that that's all there is to his life, it's just all I really know. I'll have to look him up.

So two bits of news got past the filter yesterday: One bit about an environmental disaster, the worst in history, I guess. And the other about a man dying. Did nothing good happen in the world yesterday? No "Man Bites Dog" stories to share?

It makes no sense to continue ingesting that trash. I wonder what it will be like when this year is over. I wonder if I will have any desire to watch any news at all. Probably not. Maybe a few minutes a few times a week. That'll do. Maybe nothing. Maybe this is the new me. If so, I like it. I plan to stick to it.

Moments like these serve to remind me of why I am doing what I am doing. It's good to remember what I am avoiding and why I am avoiding it. It's good to look at what I was and compare it to what I am while thinking of what I will be. It's good to be reminded of what I am trying to accomplish and why I want to accomplish it.

Lessons:

- Remind yourself of where you are going and of why you are going there.
- When you start improving yourself, it will take on a life of its own. Go with it.
- Don't live in the past, don't run from the past; do learn from the past.

Today's Declarations:

- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better.
- I am leaving the past behind. I am preparing for the future by focusing on the present.
- I will continue to reject negativity in all its forms.

Remember, positivity, like happiness, is a choice.

- Adolfo

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Day # 47 - Personal Responsibility

This has always been a thing for me. Though I will admit I have been better at preaching it than practicing it. I became a father at age 19. I didn't to a great job of dealing with the responsibility, but I didn't abandon my family. My younger son was born a month before my 21st birthday. I was maturing by then but I still had a way to go. Now that I am a little older and a little more mature, I feel I do a much better job acting like a responsible, productive citizen. Well, maybe not just acting. I would like to think I really am responsible and productive.

I was reading an article in a magazine called, "Diversity, Inc." I receive it at home every month, probably because of my last name. But there was one of those articles we have all either read or heard about, telling us how bad fast food is for kids. The article criticized the fast food giants for marketing to kids. Not much mention of parental responsibility. I admit I only skimmed the article (only so much political correctness I can swallow)but it seemed to put the responsibility entirely on the corporations.

Where are the parents? If you plop your kid down in front of the TV for five or six or ten hours a day, your kid will see commercials, and fast food is the least of your concerns. Ever watch ABC "Family" on a Friday night? We watch Funniest Home Videos sometimes. While this is family entertainment, the shows they advertise are clearly not. I hold the remote control - and we are watching less often.

I am taking responsibility for the stuff my children watch. Four weeks ago I stopped eating fast food - my children are also off the stuff. I stopped soda, my kids still get some from their well-meaning grandparents, but they're getting less and none at home.

As a society, we spend too much time looking for other people to blame for our problems, whether it's our obesity, lack of success, a bad marriage, a lousy career. Are you one of these people? I have been at times, but now I know I am in control. Next time you complain about something, anything - stop and really take a look at what the problem is. Accept that only you can change your life and then get to changing it.

Lessons:

- Successful people take responsibility for their actions.
- Look inward for the answers
- Whether your situation is your fault or not (and it probably is) it's your responsibility to fix it. Waiting around for a rescue is a great way to waste your life.

Today's Declarations:

- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better.
- I am responsible for my life. I decide which way it goes.
- Today, I will take responsibility for my situation and I will live the life I have always wanted.

Get off your butt and do it. You are responsible for your life. You decide whether it's going to be good or bad, whether you are happy or miserable. Taking responsibility equals taking control!

Make it your best day yet. God bless you.

- Adolfo

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Day # 46 - Habits revisited

Monday and I am draggin' my behind. I don't really feel like writing but here I am. They say it takes 21 days to form a habit. I have done 21 days twice and I can tell you writing this blog - writing, period - has become a habit. I am reading more than ever before and it has become a habit for me like it used to be. I have always read, it's just that I'm back to reading like my life depends on it, which it does if you think about it.

I haven't had caffeine in 30 days. I don't miss it. I feel as energetic as ever, and I am sleeping better.

I am eating better. I decided to lose weight, but I knew a diet wasn't the way to go. As long as I was changing my life, I decided to change what I put into my body. I was at my father-in-law's church yesterday and after service we sat down to eat. There were cans of Coke all over the place and it was about 100 degrees in the shade. We ate typical latin food: steak, rice and beans, etc. A Coke would have been outstanding. I stuck to water. Sure, I knew the Coke would have tasted great, but I chose to stick to my plan. Even my dad, on several occasions, offered me a coke. Abby had one. The girls had one. I stuck to water. Not judging anyone, just made my choice and I plan to stick to it.

I slept like a baby last night, by the way.

I am reading a book, "The Billionaire's Vinegar," about the most expensive bottle of wine ever sold at auction. It was a 1787 Chateaux Lafitte which had belonged to Thomas Jefferson. Or had it. I am also continuing my education. I am averaging 2 - 3 hours per day. Less than I would like but more than I'm used to. My goal was 854 hours in 365 days. I am confident I will surpass the goal.

Lessons:

- Stick to your plans, peer pressure and temptation will always be a factor. Rise above.
- Don't judge others. We are all on our own journey.

Today's Declarations:

- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better.
- I am in control of every aspect of my life.
- There is no habit I cannot break. Nothing is as strong as my will.

Keep it up. Stick to your guns. I know I will. And in 319 days, I will be a better man as a result. What habits are you struggling with? What are you doing about it?

Make today your best day yet! God bless you.

- Adolfo

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Day # 45 - Stick to the plan.

I told my kids that any time I heard them say, "I can't" they would owe me ten jumping jacks. They both had to pay up publicly last night. I told them I would do it and to not stick to my plan would send so many wrong messages. I want them to know that when their father says something he means it. I want them to know that the words, "I can't" are dirty words, profane words, like the "F" word - destructive, negative and unnecessary. Just as profanity is the language of the ignorant, negative talk is the language of losers. My kids will not be losers and will not speak the loser's language.

My hotel hosted a breakfast for a large group of business and community leaders Friday. I saw many familiar faces and some new ones. It was nice. I had allowed myself to feel like a bit of an outcast after losing my job back in November and I realize I had no reason to. Like Eleanor Roosevelt said, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."

Yesterday, I was called in to handle a few situations and left home without my phone. I don't like to be electronically stranded, but it's liberating in a way. I had to run to the FedEx store, where I ran into one of my old bank customers, who greeted me warmly and asked for my contact information. We will be working on some things together in the near future. Stopped by another store in my journey and ran into another one of my bank customers who also greeted me warmly. Went to dinner last night and saw yet another person from the past, a HoneyBee customer, who had a big smile and kind words for me. I was also asked by two separate companies if I would be interested in coming to work for them. I am flattered, but I started something and I intend to stick to it.

I received an e-mail from someone who told me I am a bit of a legend around town and that I have a reputation for being good person. I have to admit, my eyes got a little wet at that one. I have made so many mistakes in my life and for so long I feared that was all anyone would remember me for. People want to believe in your goodness and in your ability. Sure, there are people out there who will never like you no matter what you do. Accept it, write it off as their loss, not yours, and move on to the happy people.

My plan is to succeed at everything I do. Friday was a big step in that direction. I am sticking to my plan.

Lessons:

- Make plans. Don't obsess about them, but make them and stick to them, adjusting as necessary.
- Your reputation matters.
- Don't presume to know what other people think of you. Endeavor to influence how people think of you.

Today's Declarations:

- Day by day in every way, I am getting better and better.
- I have favor in the eyes of the people I meet.
- People see me for who I am.

Take care of your relationships. Stick to your plans. Don't just stop and smell the roses, say hello to the gardener, too.

Make it your best day yet. God bless you.

- Adolfo


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Day # 44 - Plans and lists

I slept for about ten hours. It usually takes me two days to get that much sleep. I want to go back to bed, but life won't wait for me so I am up.

Are you a planner? Do you plan out your day, your week, your month, your grocery shopping, your vacations, your finances? I've never been much of a planner. I was always more of a winger. I have become a list writer and that has made me more effective.

Many experts will tell you that at the end of each day you should take five minutes and write out a plan for the next day and at the end of the week you should do the same for the following week. I am not there yet. I am trying to get better about that, but I am also one of those who believe that a battle plan typically doesn't survive the first shot.

So I compromise. I make my to-do lists and I keep them front and center on my desk so that I cannot ignore them no matter how busy or distracted I may be. It's something most people do as a matter of course. For me, it's a major life change. One of the results is that my follow-up, which was often spotty, is improving. I am returning calls more quickly, I'm keeping track of the various balls I have in the air at any given time. I am better as a result and I'm just getting started.

I like listing things on paper. Writing helps me remember and my phone rings and beeps so often that I want to ignore it most of the time any way. (I said I want to, I didn't day I do.) Writing is reciting internally. It helps me to learn and helps put things in the proper place - mentally speaking

Find your system, perfect it, and stick to it. You'll see the difference.

Lessons:

- The Five P's: Proper Planning Prevents Poor Performance
- Amateurs remember, pros write it down
- Whatever you do, remember to KISS - Keep It Sweet & Simple.

Today's Declarations:

- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better.
- I will plan the work and work the plan.
- I will map out my day, my week, and my life. This is how I will reach my goals.

Plan on doing it. List the reasons why. The reasons can be anything from improving your performance to making more money to controlling your schedule so you can spend more time with your family.

Make it your best day yet. God bless you.

- Adolfo

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Day # 43 - Don't stop

I am not in the mood to write. All things being equal, I would rather be asleep. But I made a commitment to write, and I will not miss a day...

I have had about three hours of sleep since I woke up before five on Thursday morning. It's been a rough, but successful two days. There were challenges and plenty of reasons to quit. I chose to stick it out, to allow my actions to speak. I am finally fully committed to the idea that failure is not an option. I decided that slowing down when you still have enough steam to go full speed is the exact same thing as giving up. Other people will never define me. I am a person of excellence. This is how I am forever defining myself.

It's easy to stop when the going gets tough. It's easy to give up, to quit. I know, I've done it over and over again in my life. In my old life, that is. Never again. My desire is renewed. My ambition is restored.

When I was a teenager, and all my friends were covering the walls of their rooms with pictures of muscle cars or pretty women, I plastered my walls with pictures of, and quotations from... wait for it... Donald Trump. I must have read "The Art of the Deal" ten times. I wanted it all and I knew I would have to work my butt off for it. That was the fun part.

But somewhere along the way, probably when I became a father, I left my dreams and ambitions behind. Maybe it's because I'm a little punchy, but it just occured to me how unfair that was to my children.

I plan to make it up to them.

Lessons:

- Don't Stop. Don't stop trying, learning, growing, improving.
- Commitment is not words, it is action.
- Find your ambition. Work it out, build it up, and set it free!

Today's Declarations:

- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better
- I am committed to getting the job done
- I will complete every task to the best of my abilities

I am tired and I want to go to sleep. I will soon.

Make it your best day ever. God bless you.

- Adolfo


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Day # 42 - Words of encouragement

Have you ever gone bowling with a five-year old? It's an experience. The ball rolls tortoise-like down the lane at (literally) two miles per hour. It sometimes lands so gently that the conveyor can't pick it up so you need to jam another down the lane in the hopes of moving the other one. Spotty success rate there.

So there I am with my little girl. She weighs around forty pounds. The lightest ball weighs six. It's the equivalent of someone my size rolling a Volkswagen down the lane in an effort to knock over the Rocky Mountains - at least in her mind. I kneel next to her and tell her: "Send it right down the middle. I believe in you. I know you can do it." She throws a strike. Just like that, I have made my child believe in herself. Just like that, I have boosted her self-esteem.

I boost her not by celebrating her failures, which she will have, which we all have, I boost her by reminding her that she is capable and that I am her biggest fan. When I say celebrating her failure, I am referring to outcome-based education, where no one fails a class, sports leagues where no one loses and score is not kept, and schools where kids are not corrected in order to not damage their fragile little egos.

Talk about setting someone up for failure. This does not resemble the real world in the least.

My little girl loves to eat. I don't know where she puts it. She is tiny. She convinced my wife to buy her some chicken fingers and once the food arrived, she stopped focusing on the game. When her turn came she would drop the ball and walk away. Daddy reprimanded her. I told her that her chicken wouldn't fly away and that she needed to live in the moment. She did it again and I told her I was disappointed in her behavior. Once she focused and did her best, she was praised.

I know it feels good to praise your kids. I know it feels good to be praised. It feels better when it is actually earned. Hollow compliments are destructive. Kids know when they've done a good job and they know when they've failed. When you praise laziness or mediocrity you send the wrong message. After all, if you get a pat on the back for no effort,why bother putting any effort at all?

It's a sin to not strive to reach your God-given potential. It's a greater sin to prevent others from doing so. It's okay to tell your kids or your teammates or your staff when they have failed at something. It's okay to set high expectations. It's not okay to make excuses. It's not okay to fail. It's not okay to celebrate failure or lack of effort.

One last thing: I stole an idea from Art Williams, former college football coach and motivational speaker. When I hear my kids say, "I can't," they have to drop and give me three push ups. If not three push ups, ten jumping jacks. I'm hearing those words a lot less these days. Go ahead and call Family Protective Services on me.

Lessons:

- People, especially children, will rise to your expectations. Do them a favor and set them high.
- You don't do anyone any favors by being too soft on them.
- Failure is to be hated, not celebrated.

Today's Declarations:

- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better
- I will encourage effort and success. I will never celebrate mediocrity
- I will set high expectations, knowing those around me can exceed them

Our parents made mistakes and we have made mistakes. It's part of being human. Learn from them, don't repeat them, and move on. It is our goal to make everyone around us better. As they rise, so shall we.

Make it your best day yet! God bless you.



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Day # 41 - 324 days to go. Is it worth it?

The answer is YES. A million times yes. Last night, Abby and I sat in the office and we talked about the 40 day milestone. I asked her if she thought I was different and she told me that I am. She told me that I have not only changed, I have improved. I am calmer, more patient, better.

I never intended for this to be a self help column. I never really thought it would help other people, but some people tell me that reading my words has helped them. I am humbled and honored.

If you have issues (who doesn't?) that you want to deal with but you don't know where to start, the answer is to just do it. Take a moment and sit in silence. Review your day, your week, your year, and even your life. Look at where you have come up short and try to find the common denominator. It's not hard to do if you really want it. Is your life all it could be? Are you reaching your potential? If not, what's keeping you down?

For me, it was my inability to focus on positive things. I was a news junkie. News is a way of taking knowledge of all that is bad, depressing, and negative in the world and injecting it into your very soul. How can you be up when you O.D. on downers every morning?

So, I gave it up. I quit cold turkey. This has led to me also giving up caffeine and most (not all) junk food. It's what Darren Hardy calls "The Compound Effect." Little things mean everything and they add up to big improvements in your life. If you think the little things don't matter, think about the last time you were on a plane. If you could remove your entire seat (leaving you sitting on the floor) or a couple of the screws that hold the wing to the fuselage, which would you remove? The point is, you would be uncomfortable, but you would arrive safely. Of course if you prefer to be comfortable when you crash, be my guest. I want to touch down in a better place, even if it means a sore tush.

Lessons:

- Get out of your comfort zone. No one grows without pain.
- It's not easy. If it were, you would have done it years ago.
- Baby steps. This will not happen in a day. You must have patience. With patience, grass becomes milk.

Today's Declarations:

- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better
- I will take the first step toward improving myself today.
- I know I can be the person I was meant to be. Today I start proving it.

Take the first step. Sit in the silence, away from noise, TV, the computer, the phone. Listen to your mind and nothing else. Look for the thread. What's holding you back. You may not find it on the first try. It may take days, but you will be planting the seeds of commitment when you sit and listen to your thoughts. And that will be the first step on your journey.

Make it your best day ever. God bless you.

- Adolfo

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Day # 40 - 40 days and nights, discipline

By nature I am not a disciplined person. I am a hard worker. I am not afraid of a challenge. I have ambition. Just lacking discipline. It's why I don't work out as much as I should. It's why for so many years I thought my temper was uncontrollable and simply a part of my DNA like my eye color.

My parents loved me and did their best with my sister and me, but they didn't teach me discipline. My sister was always disciplined. She worked hard, did her homework, and got good grades with minimal supervision. I was the opposite: I required maximum security level supervision and still did poorly in school - in spite of my ability. I actually made a vice-principal cry once. She was so disappointed that a boy of my intelligence simply refused to live up to his potential.

I used to sit and wonder what I could have been had I had discipline. Now I recognize the futility of such exercises and I think about what I can become if I am disciplined from now on.

For forty days I have written about this experience and every day I learn a little something more about what it is I am really doing. God works in mysterious ways and what started as me giving up news has become about finding myself, rediscovering my ambitions, and learning to have focus and discipline.

Sometimes, if you stick to something that is good and productive, you will find more than you expected. I hoped to develop a more positive attitude. I never thought there was anything more to this. Forty days in I know I was only seeing half the picture. Maybe less than half.

Funny thing about Forty Days. When God wanted to renew the earth, it rained for forty days (and nights.) Jesus fasted for forty days. It took Moses forty days to receive the laws from God. Yesterday was my fortieth day and I can feel such a difference in my life, I know there must be something to it.

The cynics will roll their eyes. I am still a cynic or that thought would not have come to my mind. So let's call this the first forty days. But the truth is if you do not believe in a higher power, it's all meaningless anyway. Sure, life is beautiful but the thought that it ends when we close our eyes for the final time is depressing. There has to be more.

There's got to be just more to it than this
Oh, tell me why do we exist
I'd like to think that when I die
I get a chance, another try

Those are Iron Maiden lyrics. Yes, Iron Maiden, the heavy metal, devil-worshipping band from the 1980's. The lyrics are referring to reincarnation, which is something I don't mean to advocate, but if they believe there's something more, and someone like me, who is now their spiritual polar opposite (or trying to be) believes it, there must be something there.

The question of course, it what else is there?

That's for you to decide. The answer for me is Jesus Christ. But to get to that answer, to reach that conclusion, I must be disciplined. It's too easy to give into temptation. It's too easy to give up or take the easy way out. I don't want to be that person.

Lessons:

- It's never to late to become a disciplined person. Decide to do it and do it.
- 40 days was enough to flood the earth and prepare Jesus for ministry but it may not be enough for you.
- Discipline, like learning, is a daily thing. It never ends. If you want to be all you can be, you'd better get used to that fact.

Today's Declarations:

- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better
- I am disciplined, focused, and committed to my goals
- My dedication makes me stronger, it makes me better, it brings me closer to God.

No one does it alone, and no one does it without discipline. When we look at the big picture, we realize that discipline is a small thing. Take that first step toward being the person you are meant to be.

Make it your best day ever. God bless you.

- Adolfo


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Day # 39 - Stick to it and do it.

Today is my daughter's birthday so I have been busy. We had a little gathering, just family and the girls played outside until the rain got out of hand. It started around one and it's still going on. It reminds me of why we stopped having parties. This is Florida. In the summer, we get rain every afternoon. When Emily turned one, we had a party and our guests had to take off their shoes and wade in through calf-high water to get in to the house. Next year: road trip.

We stayed up late getting the house ready so I was exhausted this morning. I wanted to write but felt uninspired and didn't feel I had the focus. This seems like no big deal, I mean, who's going to care if I take on day off? Who's even going to notice?

I am. This is about me. To explain:

My aspiration was to be a writer. I didn't discover this inclination until I was in my twenties. I got married very young and went through a very painful divorce. I began writing poetry out of the blue. I guess it was therapeutic. I eventually moved on to short stories. Then I wrote short scripts. I eventually wrote five novels and six feature-length screenplays. I wrote opinion pieces, essays, letters, you name it, I wrote it.

Then I stopped. Not sure why. It's hard to break into writing as a business and I guess I didn't have the persistence. I lacked the stick-to-itiveness. I never had a problem with the writing. I woke up bright and early and cranked out my work before showering, dressing and going to work. I guess at some point I directed my ambition toward my career, not my writing. The result has been heartbreak and not much else. I always knew I wanted to get back to writing. I just needed a push. This project has been the push - another unexpected benefit.

So when I feel like taking a day off from this, I know there are more important things than the mood I'm in at any given moment. This is a commitment. I said I would go a year without news and write about it. I intend to write every day whether it's relevant to the project or not.

Too often in life, we give up. As soon as things take an unexpected turn, we throw our hands up. Sometimes, the problem isn't even unexpected. How often do you get caught in rush hour traffic? How often do you let it get to you? How often do you start the day knowing it's going to be a great day, and then allow some little, insignificant thing ruin the whole day for you? These are forms of giving up.

Have you walked out on your family? On a relationship? A friend? Do you have addictions that are ruining and controlling you life? These are all forms of giving up.

The difference between success and failure are not all that great. It could be little things holding you back. If you give up on little things, you will never succeed at big ones. Learn to be tenacious. Learn that you have not lost until you've given up.

Lessons:

- "Never never never quit." - Winston Churchill
- If you let little things derail you, big things will then come along and kill you.
- Do it. Whatever it is. Just do it, and do it, and do it some more.

Today's Declarations:

- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better.
- I will never quit. I will persevere and follow my dreams, wherever they take me.
- I will let the little things go so I can focus on the big things.

I am here. If you are reading this in the hopes of learning something, let it be this: never quit.

Make it your best day ever. God bless you.

- Adolfo

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Day # 38 - Independence Day

In 1968, my parents took my sister, who was an infant at the time and left Cuba, bound for the last, best hope for freedom in the world. They landed in Miami, were processed at Freedom Tower and spent some time there before moving to Brooklyn, New York, where they had family who had already arrived. My parents worked factory jobs to try to make ends meet. They didn't go to the government for help. They'd already seen what comes from expecting or asking too much of the government.

Three years passed and I was born. Now there were two little mouths to feed. My parents had nothing. They fed my sister the little there was and divided what was left. Still, they worked. They never asked for a handout. They were thankful for the opportunity. When I was old enough for solid food, my sister and I would eat what there was and my parents would eat what was left. There was scarcity, sure, but no one starved.

The winters proved to be too much for people born and raised on a tropical island. Also, I was kidnapped as a baby (more on that another time - it's a great story.) So by the time I was three, we were living in Miami - Little Havana to be exact. It was there that my first memories were formed.

One of my earliest memories is walking with my dad on a sidewalk that ran along a wall. Not a building, a wall. I remember walking a while and seeing a man laying in a doorway. My father was carrying a loaf of Cuban bread. I can still see the man's long, dirty fingers, capped with even dirtier nails. I can see his toothless mouth, the white whiskers, the lines on his face that told the story of a wasted life. I can remember my father tearing a piece of our bread and handing it to the man. I'm sure the man said something, but I still couldn't speak English so I don't know what it was. I assume it was, "thank you."

That was the day I learned humanity. I just realized this right now as I am writing these words. This was about thirty-five years ago so I assume that man has passed away. Maybe his life wasn't wasted after all. He instilled a value in a little boy. He didn't do it because he was my teacher. It was because he was hungry. Now I know why the image of his face and his hand and the breaking of the bread have never left me. That was God speaking to me.

It's now 2010 and my God things are different. My parents continued to work hard, two and three jobs, to move up. But they did move up. They bought a house by the time I was five years old. I still remember that house. It's on 31st Street in Hialeah. They raised two pretty good kids who have never wanted for anything. They have six grand kids. All without welfare, all without government assistance.

This is where I got my ambition.

Don't misunderstand me. I know there are legitimate cases out there. I know there are disabled individuals, children with special needs, the mentally ill. I also know we'd be pretty lousy as human beings if we didn't help the truly needy.

We fail when we miscategorize race, gender, marital status, immigration status, and socioeconomic background as disabilities. When we make excuses for failure, we invite it. When we see the color of a person, or their gender, and decide they need special treatment, it is just as racist as those who wish to harm those same people for the same reason.

My whole life I encountered racism. I have been called a spic. I heard the cracks about my family floating over on a raft. People have asked my if I was a drug dealer like the rest of the Cubans. I laugh and tell them "Scarface" was based on my uncle Tony. I couldn't care less.

But those remarks are less offensive than times when people have assumed I need special consideration because of my race. I am more offended by people who call me a Latino. I am more offended by the Census. If we are all equal, what difference should my race and ethnicity make? I am an American. I am not Cuban-American. Not Hispanic-American. American. Made in the USA. I couldn't be prouder. And unlike the First Lady, I have always been proud of my country, even when ignorant fools were calling me a spic. I wish to thank them for motivating me.

America has lost her promise. When we became a country that stopped emulating successful people and began demonizing them. When achievement became a dirty word. When we try to convince kids that it's not whether you win or lose, but how you play the game. When we assume that women and minority are at a disadvantage. When we use quotas in hiring or university admissions. When we allow political correctness to affect national security and public safety. When we try to take God out of everything we do... America has lost her promise. We have failed.

I once had a college professor try to convince me that it is better to receive welfare than work minimum wage. I told him I disagreed because my pride wouldn't allow it. If you depend on yourself, you always know where you stand. If you depend on the government, you will never stand, only fall.

This is the mentality that is destroying America - and her people.

Immigrants used to arrive here looking only for an opportunity. And that was all they got. Most of them did something with it. Some did something great. Some, like my parents, reached a smaller level of success, but it was still more than they could have achieved back in Cuba. They became citizens. They paid their taxes. You know what they got in return? Nothing. And they were fine with that. They didn't expect anything.

Now, immigrants arrive with their hands out. They are put in government housing, given health care, food stamps, money. Anything they want. What have they done to deserve being treated better that American veterans? Nothing.

Today, when you drink your beer, and grill your burgers, take a moment to think of the country you grew up in. Think of what America was and what it has become. The next time you want to say it's unfair that so few have so much while so many have so little, stop and think. Why is it this way? Is it that the system is unfair or is it that some are willing to work harder? Is it that some look for a way to make it in America, while others look for excuses why they can't? Is it that some listen to nothing but their instincts while others listen to politicians who constantly tell them they will never make it?

I for one, am going to do my damnedest to keep America's promise. I will never allow my last name, or my background to hold me back. I am declaring my own independence from the negative influences and the politicians who want me to be a loser because of my ethnicity. Guess what? I am an American. I am proud of it. I am proud to live in the greatest country in the history of humankind. If you don't feel the same, please let me know. I will buy you a one-way ticket to anywhere else in the world, provided you never come back. If you do, you'll have my uncle Tony Montana and the rest of my drug-dealing relatives to answer to. And you'll have to answer in Spanish.

No lessons today. No declarations today. Forgive me if I went on a tangent.

Make it your best Independence Day ever. God Bless You. God Bless America.

Adolfo

Day # 37 - Don't go there. Or, lead thyself not into temptation

I had a classmate in college I became pretty close with. We were both in our mid-twenties (we were both dads and had started college late) and both dads. He was an alcoholic. He had stopped drinking some time before but once spoke to me about the temptation he felt every day. He explained that if your problem is something illegal like cocaine, it's easier to stay away from it but alcohol is everywhere. Watch a sporting event on TV and the ads are mostly about some kind of beer or other. People get together after work to have a few beers. You stop at a gas station to fill up and the places is covered in neon signs for Budweiser, Corona, Miller Lite, etc.

It's tough to be addicted - especially to something that is everywhere you look. I can't imagine what that must be like. I am not prone to addiction, my destructive behavior has always been less ritualistic. I don't get drunk, but I have overeaten on many occasions. I tended to lose my temper and destroy (figuratively) anything in my surrounding area. It's been a long time getting it somewhat under control and I am getting better every day. Because my problems are internal, they are everywhere I go. If you have young kids, it would be wise to instill self-discipline in them.

My daughters have a tendency to pop a movie in the TV and then go do other things, leaving the TV and lights on when they are elsewhere. I now charge them a dollar each every time it happens. (Don't tell them, but I put the dollars back in their piggy bank when they aren't looking.) The reason I do it is to teach them to value things. They don't want to lose their dollars. Discipline is how they keep their money.

If you've broken your arm in three places, it's best to stay away from those three places. If alcohol is your weakness, stay out of bars. Overeaters should stay away from the local buffet. If you're a couch potato, get out of the house. During the time of my information addiction, I noticed that if I stopped by my house even for a minute, I would turn on the TV and watch news, get ticked off, take longer than was prudent, and try to continue my day. The solution was simple, stop going home, but it was not easy until I decided and admitted I had a problem I had to fix.

Talk about destructive behavior; I was taking the poison from without and destroying myself from within. Changing habits is hard, but if you think of your bad habits as destructive behavior, you will find new motivation. The first step is admitting you have a problem. If you can't do that, you will never get better. Wanting it is not enough, knowing there's something wrong it not enough. You have to admit there is a problem and commit to moving in the right direction.

Lessons:

- You know what's holding you back. Admit it and decide on fixing it so you can move on and move up.
- If you have an addiction - a real addiction like drugs or alcohol or a sex addiction, get help. You are destroying yourself and all that God has blessed you with.
- Lead yourself not into temptation. Stay away from places that allow or encourage destructive behavior. Stay away from people who engage in this behavior.

Today's Declarations:

- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better
- Today I will begin breaking my addictions
- Today I will make the small changes that will lead to big improvements
- I admit that I am not perfect. I admit that I need to change. I admit I need help doing it. I will be better. I am confessing it with my mouth and believing it in my heart.

It is important to deal with these issues. We don't all have addictions, but most of us have bad habits. Tackle the small, easy ones first. Once you make one small, positive change, the snowball will begin to roll and soon there will be no stopping it. You will be on your way to being the person you were meant to be.

Make it your best day ever. God bless you.

- Adolfo

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Day # 36 - A day of rest

Too tired to be inspired. Well, not exactly, but I am tired. Yesterday was a long day that started around 4:00 AM and I didn't get home last night until after 9:00 PM. There was more than the usual amount of stress, some of it involving family. Everything will work out fine, but it's tough in the moment.

So many things happened and the ironic result is that I am left with nothing to write about. But it got me to thinking. (Terrifying, I know.) After 35 straight days of this, I am tired. Just like exercise. If you don't rest between workouts, your body can't recover. Since this is an exercise regimen for the mind, perhaps my mind is a little tired.

I need a break.

I intend to continue this journey and I will continue writing about it, but for today, I am going to go easy. No profound discoveries, no philosophy. Just one word of advice: Rest.

For years I have lived with insomnia. It's gotten better lately and I believe that quitting caffeine and eating better is part of the reason for this improvement. I accepted the condition, never seeing a doctor, always making the most of the extra time it gave me. I still don't plan on doing anything, my self-medication (hooray chamomile - boo caffeine) is working just fine.

But listen to your body and your mind. When you need a break take it. Sometimes you have to push a little farther, but sometimes you have to just let go.

Lessons:

- Rest. Even God took a break on the 7th day.
- Your inbox is supposed to be full. Go home. The work will be there tomorrow.
- You can't be productive if you're exhausted.

Today's Declarations:

- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better
- I understand the importance of resting my mind and body and I will give both the rest they need
- I will do my best and I accept that I can't do everything. This is why God invented tomorrow

Remember, I am not saying you should quit your job and go surfing. You also shouldn't ignore deadlines. You should, however, find balance and take a nap.

Make it your best day ever. God bless you.


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Day # 35 - Back to school

I love books. Truly, I can't live without them. I own thousands of them and have given thousands more away over the years. At the present time, I have 43 books by my bed (I have a nightstand and a second small table.) There is a bookshelf built into the wall which is holding over 100 books and there are probably 300 magazines there, most of which belong to Abby.

I have two bookshelves in the living room packed with more books and there are a few hundred more in the garage. While I have given away thousands of books over the years, there are some I can't part with - at least not yet. Although I've read them, there are some books I have to have near me. I go back to them now and again and read a favorite passage or randomly open to whatever page and read a few lines.

Having them brings me comfort. I have some of the greatest minds in history in my house: Hemingway, Dickinson, Shakespeare, Dumas, Frost, Poe. Such brilliance, mine for the taking. I love books!

I don't own a Kindle or any kind of digital book reader. I don't know if I ever will. There's just something about the feel, the weight of a book. The smell of the paper. Falling asleep with it in my hands, waking up and trying to figure out where I was. I really love books. I even love them on CD, which have become my favored form of entertainment when driving.

I told you that to tell you this:

Never stop learning. School is where you get your training, but life is where you get your education. Education is ongoing, education is gained from experience, from your parents, from your teachers when they stray from the lesson plan, from listening to an elderly person, from standing in line between people who are impatient. Education comes from watching the birth of your child, the death of a loved one. Education comes from being lost in suburbia, falling in love, divorce, reconciliation, arguments, laughter, thoughts, listening to birds, walking along a busy street. Education comes from books you choose to read.

I feel a bit concerned for people who don't want to learn. People content with what they already know kind of annoy me. It's wrong on my part because it's none of my business, but if you're not growing you're dying. I hate to sound melodramatic, but another way television is destroying humanity is that it's created a lack of real intellectual curiosity.

Obesity continues to spread and its not just our butts that have gotten soft and mushy. The same is happening to people's brains. We are a society suffering from mental obesity. We don't exercise our minds or expand our knowledge. We don't exercise our curiosity and it is starting to atrophy.

It's no wonder America isn't what it used to be. It's no surprise that we elect the "leaders" we do. We allow politicians and the media to tell us how unfair life is; how the rich get richer and the poor get screwed. Never mind that about 80% of the millionaires in this country are self-made. You're being fed propaganda meant to make you believe that the difference between you and your boss is that your boss is a cheater. Don't listen to Obama, Pelosi, McCain, or any of the rest of these losers who have never spent a moment in the real world. Read the biographies of people like Carnegie, Edison, Tony Robbins, Oprah, Suze Orman, and countless others, who made something out of their lives by sheer force of will.

The government and media will never teach you this. Only books will. No one ever got rich or even independent from welfare. Any welfare success stories begin when someone got off the government dole.

I challenge you to read today. It doesn't matter what it is. Even if it's a novel. Just read. Start the habit. Turn off the TV with it's poisonous propaganda and do something constructive. Educate yourself. And let me know how it goes.

Lessons:

- Education never ends
- Books broaden your horizons by challenging you to think. TV does the thinking for you.
- The propagandists are not your friends.

Today's Declarations:

- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better
- I will dedicate time to educating myself
- I will never be complete, I will always evolve
- I will resist propaganda and think for myself

There are so many worthy biographies. Benjamin Franklin's autobiography. Abraham Lincoln's story is amazing. Yogi Berra. Sylvester Stallone. There are literally thousands, if not millions of inspiring biographies out there. Read them and share your thoughts with me.

Make it your best day ever. God bless you.

-Adolfo


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