Friday, December 31, 2010

Day # 217 - Out with the Auld

The year 2010 is about to end... Less than six hours to go. I resolve to not make any resolutions. It's so cliche, after all, everyone makes them and no one keeps them. So, I will be honest with myself. No New Year's Resolutions.

I will, however, promise myself to keep doing all the good things I've been doing, to stop my bad habits, and to lose more weight. I will not start smoking. I will not go out at night carousing, drinking, and hanging around with loose women. I will not gamble away the mortgage.

Come to think of it, I don't do these things now.

Okay, so I do have a resolution: I resolve to be a little less boring.

Have a great night. Don't drink and drive. Make 2011 your best year yet.

God bless you,

Adolfo

Thursday, December 30, 2010

Day # 216 - Life In The Way

2010 is about to end and what can we say about it? I can't say much about the year that was except for my own year because I've sort of insulated myself from the world. It's been a good year for me. I'm happier than I was when it started. The last 216 days have changed me. I'm glad I took this project on.

Of course, there is still the longing for more. In my case, I find myself wanting more time. I find myself learning to appreciate the things that truly matter and wishing I could go back in time and enjoy the things I was missing when I was trying to be a man, or when I was angry at things beyond my control. I want to go back to the times when I let life get in the way of my life and change that. But I can't. All I can do is make sure that from here on out, I find that balance. Regrets will never amount to anything. Nothing was ever accomplished by looking at the past, or the future for that matter, and wishing.

Right now, life is keeping me from sleeping, so I respond by living, not by lying in bed, cursing the darkness. I write, I read, I learn. The sun will be up soon and the day will begin; another chance to get it right.

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Days # 214 & 215 - The Missing

I was in Key West again so I couldn't write. I guess I could have written last night when I got back, but I found it preferable to fall asleep on the couch watching Despicable Me with the girls. What is it about being alone away from home that makes you miss everything? Absence indeed makes the heart grow fonder.

I wonder how people do it. I think of long-distance truckers who are away from their families for long periods. I think of my close friend who moved to Georgia, temporarily leaving his family behind. How long his nights must have been. I think of the troops gone for months or years or forever, and I wonder how people do it. I was gone for one night and couldn't keep my eyes from welling up.

Maybe it's because we're still in the holidays and one of my sons is in Fort Myers and the other is in Philadelphia, while my daughters were home. I just want them all with me, but I know it can't be. I know fathers have to go out and do their work wherever that may lead them.

Time and distance, huh?

God bless you, make it your great day. Hug your babies.

- Adolfo

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Day # 213 - That Organization Thing

Christmas has passed and now it's time to get to work. I am back on my mission to organization. I've learned you start with your mind, not your desk. If your thoughts are disorganized (as mine have always been) you have no chance at organizing your world.

Lesson # 1: Amateurs remember, pros write it down.

Carry a notebook. I have always done this and I can tell you it could work, except that the notebooks I carry reflect what's happening upstairs: messy, disorganized, etc... It does no good to write down important information if you can't easily find it when you need it. I am learning this.

Lesson # 2: Listen Actively: In other words, ask questions.

When you are being given instructions, it's easy to zone out. If you make yourself ask questions, even simple, or stupid, questions, you're more likely to stay involved. I am learning this.

Lesson # 3: Create a system and stick to it.

Do whatever works for you. It may be a notepad, a PDA, or a spreadsheet. Whatever you do, just do it. As an old co-worker of mine used to say: a place for everything, and everything in its place. I am working on this one.

Lesson # 4: Have an accountability partner.

I work on my own and my office is in my house. I have enlisted Abby to help me stay organized. She warned me that she would be on my back constantly. I accepted because that is the only way this arrangement could possibly work.

Think of how much time you lose looking for papers, notes, whatever. Have you ever lost a deal because you lost a memo and didn't get back to someone on time. I have. I've made these mistakes and I am determined to never let them happen again. This is why I am creating the system.

I hope you had a Merry Christmas. God bless you. Make it a great day.

- Adolfo

Saturday, December 25, 2010

Day # 212 - Merry Christmas

It's 4:30 in the morning. I go out to the living room and turn on the Christmas tree lights, giving the girls the illusion that they've been on all night. I lay in bed and try to sleep but I'm excited. I can't wait. I never really got to enjoy this with my sons.

Around six, I hear them in their room over the monitor. They're trying to figure out whether it's to early to get out of bed. It's an awesome conversation to hear. They come out to the living room and see the gifts under the tree. They're trying to contain their excitement but I no longer need the monitor to hear them. I hear them coming to my room, Abby is awake by now, but we pretend to be asleep. They look at us from the door, two silhouettes. They decide to let us sleep. I'm losing my mind by now, wanting to go out there and watch them open their gifts. Abby tells me to sit tight. She's the patient one in this dynamic.

The girls get loud all of a sudden and, with Abby's permission of course, I call out, "Who's out there?"
"The kids."
"Oh, okay. What are you doing?"
"We got presents!"
"Really?"
"Yes!"
And they come over with our present: a 2011 calendar Melissa made for us in class. Melissa patiently, and proudly, watches us go through each of the twelve months, explaining what each drawing is.

Now, it's time for presents. Instinctively, they take turns opening their presents, allowing me to shift the focus of the video camera from one child to the other. They're happy and we're happy because of it.

They won't believe in Santa forever and I'm fine with that. They have to grow up and they don't need permission to do so. But I see nothing wrong in maintaining their innocence for as long as possible. Magic is real if you believe in it and want my children's lives to have as much magic as possible. I owe them that.

It's also important, in my house, for them to be mindful of the reason for Christmas. There is no "X" in Christmas and we plan to keep it that way. Christmas is a great opportunity for teaching your children. Teach them that there are other people in the world and that the spirit of this holiday is not about receiving, it's about giving. That is the greatest gift I can give my children, that while we celebrate the birth of Christ by sharing gifts, we honor His life and sacrifice by sharing our blessings.

Merry Christmas. May the blessings of God be upon you and your family. Make it a great day.

- Adolfo

Friday, December 24, 2010

Day # 211 - Noche Buena

I've always loved Christmas Eve. Mostly because Cubans, like many Hispanics, are too impatient to wait until Christmas to open their gifts, so we wait until midnight (or earlier) to open them. It gives away the Santa Secret maybe, but who cares? I want presents!

I have tried to build my own traditions with my family and for the most part, they've worked fine, but there are some which I love. Noche Buena is one of them. The family will gather, eat, and chat, and watch Christmas movies. Same thing the Gringos do, but sooner. Christmas becomes Boxing Day, when we go visit relatives so the kids can pick up what Santa left in other houses for them. It's when we pass out the socks and the perfume and the books. Speaking of which, last year I got my mom a book and a pair of soft slippers. She asked if I was planning to send her to a home. That crafty old woman was on to me from the start!

The important thing is the fun of being with your family and loving them as best you can. A hug and kiss mean more than the ribbons and bows and what's beneath them. In the end, when fate separates us from the ones we love, it's the hugs and kisses and voices that we'll miss, not the stuff.

Love someone today. And every day. Let every day be a good day and every night be a Noche Buena. Don't be reserved in your emotion; love with reckless abandon. Call a relative who's far away; a sister or brother, an old roommate, someone who may be alone. Wish them a Merry Christmas. Let them know someone is thinking about them. You never know what a difference you can make in a person's life.

God bless you. Make it a great day.

- Adolfo

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Day #210 - Man vs. Bridge Round 1

I'm back on the mainland and it's fantastic! Good to be home. Not that I won't be going back. I will and soon, I'm sure, but I am closer to putting the bridge nonsense behind me.

I learned that it's good to chew gum when your nervous because it will keep you from grinding your teeth. I also learned that nothing is scary. How's that for some insight?

What I mean when I tell you nothing is scary is that we assign fear to things. We are scared of certain things and that has nothing to do with the thing we fear. (The thought is clear, but I am having a hard time articulating it.) Why is one person afraid of heights and another isn't? A mountain isn't scary, but someone may be scared of a mountain while another person can't wait to climb to the top of it. The difference is in the thought process, the belief, of one person compared to the other.

I'm tired. I didn't sleep well last night. I never sleep very well in hotels, even in very nice ones. If what I've written makes no sense, it's not you, it's me. Good night.

- Adolfo

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Day # 209 - Bridges

For the longest time, I've had a problem with bridges. I don't know the origin of it, but it's pretty bad. It's also irrational. I know it is. I know it makes no sense to go into a panic over crossing a bridge. Yet, although I know it makes no sense to be nervous, I become a wreck.

Fears are like bullies, the only way to defeat them is head-on. Part of the territory I cover for my job is Key West (ain't it hell?) and if you've never been to Key West it's basically a bunch of tiny islands connected by bridges. We don't need no stinkin' ferry boats!

So today, I'll be heading to Key West...alone. I have been mentally preparing myself for this the last few days and I am confident that everything will be fine. I'll probably drive a little slower over the Seven Mile Bridge than most people, but I don't mind being honked at. I can live with other people's disapproval. They can go around me after the hump.

It's a funny thing about fear: even when you know there is nothing to fear, you feel it anyway. I know that millions of people cross these bridges every year. I know I will be in no more danger than in any other place I drive (less danger since I drive in Miami all the time) and yet my palms are sweating even as I write this. I know this is a process. I know I can't just decide not to be scared and it will be so. I also know that if it is to be, it is up to me.

I'll write tomorrow from the Keys before heading back. I think I'll have dinner at Sloppy Joe's tonight and breakfast at the French Bakery before returning tomorrow. Maybe not, I'll cross that bridge when I get to it. (Sorry, couldn't resist.)

God bless you. Make it a great day.

- Adolfo

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Day # 208 - A New Challenge

208 days of this and the complaint is still the same: I don't know what to write about. This may be the hardest thing I've ever committed to. And the next project just dawned on me: I am going to get organized. This is something I have half-heartedly worked on for a while, but now, I'm going to get serious about it.

I am a capable person. I believe I have a fair amount of talent, though I am not sure how to define my talent. I am a quick learner, a curious person. I could be great... if I could just remember where I left that piece of paper.

There is no doubt in my mind that I have lost deals or sales or money in my life time due to my lack of organization. Somehow that was never reason enough for me to straighten myself out. It should be reason enough, but even at this point it doesn't really motivate me. I want to organize myself because I know I should. Because it will make my life easier. Because it will make me more productive. Because my cluttered desk is making me bonkers!

So now the quest for neatness begins. I have already moved in this direction, but now I am being more serious and deliberate about it.

I'll let you know how it goes. Tomorrow and the day after, we'll talk about bridges.

God bless you. Make it your best, most organized day yet.

- Adolfo

Monday, December 20, 2010

Day # 207 - Frustration

Sometimes, when things are going exactly the way you want them to go, little things will pop up. You know, the little inconveniences that, if left unchecked, can ruin your entire day, or take away the happiness of the moment or the occasion that you should be enjoying.

We've all been there and unless you are pushing up daisies, you can expect to have more days like this. When those little things show up, smile. It's really that simple. Even if you don't feel like smiling... especially if you don't feel like smiling. It's one of those things. It's like exercising. You may not feel like running, but if you force yourself a couple times a week, soon it becomes a habit and you get to the point where the pain of not doing it far outweighs the pain of doing it.

Smile when things are going wrong, when there are a million challenges hitting you all at once, when the odds are stacked against you, all the time. Now, please don't make a fool of yourself. There are times that call for seriousness and you still have to be an adult, but in those moments, sit up straight, bright-eyed, and exude confidence and contentedness. You need to act the part if this is what you want for your life. No matter how stressed you may feel, keep smiling and expecting the best, and you'll get it.

God bless you. Make it your best day yet.

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Day # 206 - Can't Sleep

My daughter Melissa loves to talk about how she's going to stay up all night watching movies. Every time she does this she ends up snoring by nine. Her regular bedtime is 8:30, so I don't sweat it. I fell asleep early last night, around ten, and here I am. If I'd gone to sleep at midnight and woken up at 5:00, it wouldn't bother me, but I've been up since two and I really had my heart set on sleeping.

Did I psych myself out? I don't think so. I fell asleep reading in bed, not because I went to bed to sleep.

I don't even know the point of what I'm trying to say here. Maybe I have no point.

I don't like pills. I could drink tea but I just don't feel like making it. I think I'll go back to sleep, or back to bed.

I always say that it's good to use this time, when you can't sleep, productively. It's a good time to read, pay bills, write a blog, operate heavy machinery, practice juggling chainsaws. Maybe skip the last two. But the truth is that although I am tired and cranky and complaining, these quiet hours are a gift. Everyone is asleep, the phone's not ringing, there is nothing urgent to deal with, and all there is is me and my thoughts. It's a productive time if used properly; destructive if not.

Hopefully, you're reading this at a decent hour. If not, go do something productive. Actually, whatever time it is, be productive. It's a sure ticket to happiness.

God bless you. Make it a great day. Sleep tight.

- Adolfo

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Day # 205 - Oh Well

I have to work today. My kids are on vacation. Aren't they lucky? I get a kick out of how kids complain about school. I used to do the same thing and now I'd kill to be back in school with no real responsibilities except doing your homework and being cool. For the record, I was no good at either.

Christmas is coming and Santa will bring them presents. We will enjoy and laugh and take pictures and video and then we'll trip over the toys and come November we'll give them away to make room for the new donations of the future.

I am going to Key West this week; not to party, to work. A night away from home. I don't have a problem with it, but the girls will probably be upset. I'll let you know if they're not, in which case, I will be.

I need to clean my garage. What a mess.

But first, I have to move my warehouse. Before that, I should have breakfast. Emily and I played the popcorn game this morning. She came to my room and laid down next to me. We pretend the popcorn ceiling is real popcorn and add butter, salt, cheeseburgers, whipped cream and all kinds of things one would never add to popcorn. Then we "eat" it and pop another batch. It occurred to me that she will always look at popcorn ceilings a little differently because of this game we play some mornings. This makes me smile. Then again, maybe she won't remember this. No matter, I will. Oh well.

Great, now I'm sentimental.

Make it a great day. God bless you. Enjoy your popcorn moments.

- Adolfo

Friday, December 17, 2010

Day # 204 - Bad Dream

I had an incredibly disturbing nightmare last night. I dreamt I was surrounded by people possessed by demons. It may have been congress, who knows? It was enough that when I awoke, I immediately started to pray. It helped quite a bit. I find that when I can't focus on praying, I repeat The Lord's Prayer (Our Father...) and it brings me the same peace.

They say dreams have meanings. I happen to agree with that. I don't believe they tell us the future or any such thing, but I believe they are our subconscious mind's way of venting... or something.

The great thing about bad dreams is the same as what's great about our good dreams: we decide whether they will come true or not. We decide what we will pursue, or attract, and what we will ignore.

Are you pursuing your dreams... or are they pursuing you?

- Adolfo

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Day # 203 - Books & Such

My favorite sister asked me to list the books I've read during the last 203 days. There have been a few and while I don't know if I'll miss anything, here goes:

The Bible: This one was written by God. I have the King James and New Living translations. I read them both, though not as often as I should.

Atlas Shrugged: It's the size of a phone book, and it's life changing. I wish I had read this as a teenager. It is by far one of the most important books I've read. It's the kind of book that makes you wonder if the events it describes are happening right now.

Good to Great: I am currently reading this book by Jim Collins. It's about corporations that make the leap to greatness - and ones that don't.

Thinking Big: Donald Trump is brilliant and arrogant and wow, what hair!

The Game of Life: This book was written in the 1920's. A lot of practical advice on positive thinking and such.

Breakthrough Thinking: Denis Waitley on how to innovate.

The Compound Effect: Darren Hardy on how to take little steps that make a big difference.

The Four Agreements: A very simple guide to inner peace and happiness

I have listened to several books on tape, mostly summaries from Success Magazine.

I read Success magazine cover to cover each month and listen to the interviews it brings.

I have revisited some of my old favorites like:

The Snows of Kilimanjaro by Ernest Hemingway

A Confederacy of Dunces by John Kennedy Toole

I have taken, "The Course in Mastery."

I watch motivational or instructional videos on YouTube.

I read articles in Fortune (not news, more like analysis), Entrepreneur, Inc. Magazine, Wine Spectator, and a few others.

This is not a comprehensive list. My wife commented to me a couple of days ago that I'm the only person she knows who is not into anything. I don't golf or play tennis, I'm not into cars or model airplanes. I just read. You should too, so you can be just like me! (Barnes & Noble will probably sue me for what I just did to their sales with that remark.)

Make it your best day yet. God bless you.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Day # 202 - What Next?

I committed to a year of this because it had a nice sound to it. "A Year Without News" sounded better than a "couple of weeks," "six months," or "until further notice" without news. Just over halfway through my year, I can say I have improved in many ways. I have learned patience and positivity. I have become more organized, I have clearer goals. I am obviously committed (or should be... to an institution.) I think I am a better father than I was 202 days ago. I think I am a better husband, too. My family disagree, but you can't please everyone, so you've got to please yourself. Rick Nelson was right about that, but I'm only kidding. My family is my number one priority. Always will be.

So, now that the positive thinking has started paying off; now that God and faith have seen me through the valley... what do I do with the next 163 days? What do I write about? What's my purpose in this thing? Do I continue writing about the lessons of each day? Book reports? My job is not fun to describe and if I did, it would only take about a paragraph. So... what else is there? I really don't know, and that's the beauty of this experiment. I've changed, but I am not done, not by a long shot. I am nowhere near being the person I am meant to be, the best person I can be.

I can still improve my attitude; I can improve myself physically; I can improve in my career, you know, climbing the old corporate ladder, I can grow spiritually. I guess the beauty of not knowing what's next is that I get to decide what it will be. I realize there are some things that are out of my control and I accept that. But the things I can control, I will control, and I will make them better in every way I can.

And that, my friends, is what's next.

God bless you. Make it your best day yet.

- Adolfo

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Day # 201 - A Good Omen

I started my new position yesterday. What an exciting moment! It's one of those times when the world seems to be wide open and you can step out and conquer it. That is, of course, as long as your van starts, and you can be entered into the system, and there's a wireless connection so your paperwork can be completed...

I was supposed to take my company vehicle yesterday but it wouldn't start. Also, it was leaking gas, lots of it, so I'm kind of glad it didn't start. Who knows? It was one of those days where everything that could have gone wrong, did. And you know what? I couldn't be happier.

My boss kept apologizing; I kept telling her not to worry, that this was a good omen, that all it meant was that great things were heading our way. Nothing as simple as a car not starting was going to ruin my first day at a great new company. She laughed at how I kept smiling. The truth is that I was happy. I felt no anger or disappointment. I have learned that these things are part of God's plan. I wasn't meant to go out today. Now, my van will be fixed up, the oil changed, tires rotated, new car smell re-introduced (okay, that was a stretch, it's pretty new already.)

It's been a recurring theme throughout this blog: don't let the little things steal your joy. I could have looked at this situation and told myself that I'd made a bad choice, that this was a disaster, that I should cut my losses and run, or, I could have simply let it sour my mood. No, instead, I decided to laugh about it, knowing one day, I'll write it all down, every detail, in a memoir of how the toughest year of my life was also the best year of my life, and how the rest and best of my life started on a day when everything seemed to go wrong.

Today, laugh at the little things. Learn not to worry about things that don't matter in the big picture. Develop a sense of perspective and accept that things happen for a reason and that while not all things may seem good, all things come together for good if you believe.

God bless you. Make it the best day yet.

- Adolfo

Monday, December 13, 2010

Day # 200 - Day 1

Wow! 200 days of this insanity. 200 days of waking up each morning and trying to figure out what I'm going to write about. Often, it's easy; something happens that sticks with me and I find is worth sharing. Other times, I have uneventful days, and I have to dig a little deeper.

I try to write in the range of 500 words per day. That means I've written about 100,000 words so far, and I still have 165 days to go.

Today is day one at my new job. The last year has been the toughest of my life (financially speaking) and I am finally emerging from the hole I was cast into. The first few months were a frantic job search during the worst economy of my lifetime, then there was the moment when I learned to let go and put things in God's hands. God brought me to this moment. I am stronger, and better prepared to face the challenges of my new position. I am a better husband and father. I still make mistakes (who doesn't?) but I care about the mistakes I make. I don't just shrug them off.

So today, I start what will be the last job of my life, the job from which I will retire. This is not to say I won't move up in the company. I won't rule that out, but I'm taking it one day at a time.

And isn't that what the last 200 days have taught me?

Make it a great day. God bless you. Stay warm.

- Adolfo

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Day # 199 - Father License

I'm writing so late because I've been working since 6:00 this morning. We had a big event in Weston and I've been there all day. Today was an interesting day. I've done dozens of these events over the years and have seen all kinds of things, but today was the first time I ever had to deal with an abandoned child. The father came back, but it took a while. The kid was about eight years old, the age of my daughter, and he was terrified. He came to me, presumably because he recognized me as an authority figure, with tears in his eyes telling me he didn't know where his father was.

After a while of searching and even announcing the lost child over the P.A., the sperm donor was still nowhere to be found so we called the cops. The father eventually showed up with a stupid grin on his face acting as if nothing had happened. I wanted to beat him to within an inch of his life, nurse him back to health, and then beat him completely to death. The child was so nervous he couldn't remember his own last name.

In my business, I too often see parents who are willing to leave their kids in the care of other and because the kid is having fun, they call it quality time. I am not perfect, but I would never abandon my child, not for a moment. Who does that? What kind of beast? Even dogs take care of their young.

I don't know if there is a moral to this story. I just had to get it off my chest. Be a father. Be a mother. Be more than whatever is less than a common dog.

- Adolfo

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Day # 198 - Listen to Your Heart

I am not referring to cheesy lyrics from the 90's. I'm thinking about health. Last night was a long night. We took the girls to their school for Melissa's dress rehearsal, stopping for dinner along the way. Abby was driving and around 6:30 started feeling pain in her left arm. The discomfort spread to her shoulder and neck and chest. As we sat through the dress rehearsal, she kept complaining of the pain. I insisted on taking her to urgent care.

The doctor ran an EKG and found nothing, noting that Abby isn't at great risk for a heart attack. He recommended she go to the emergency room where further tests could be run. I agreed; she acted like a man and tried to convince me it wasn't necessary.

By the time we got home it was 11:00PM and both the girls were sleeping so I stayed home and Abby drove herself to the emergency room. I felt terrible, not being there with her, but the kids were knocked out and there was no point in exposing our healthy children to the zillions of diseases that float around in an emergency waiting room.

It was a bad feeling, waiting helplessly for her to come back. Her phone died so when I called her, I got no answer. I watched a movie, prayed, tried to play Wii, whatever I could do to keep my thoughts positive.

She finally got home around 4:00AM. The doctor said it was likely stress, that what she was feeling was muscular, not cardiac. Moments like that make you feel a little foolish, as if having wasted a whole night in an emergency room, or sitting up worrying were a waste of time, but the truth is, life is precious even if it is temporary. If I had told her to stay home and it had turned out to be something worse, I would have never forgiven myself. As it turns out, she's sleeping and the kids don't even know she went to the hospital. I have one more thing to thank God for.

Listen to your heart, your gut, your instinct. I knew Abby needed to see a doctor, even as I hoped there was nothing to worry about and wished the pain would instantly vanish so we could just go home. I didn't want to sit up, imagining terrible things and life without her, but would I have been able to sleep if she had been home instead of being looked after?

Men, especially, tend to ignore their bodies. We think it's weak to go to the doctor. Nonsense. It's weak to be irresponsible and abandon those who depend on you. Go see your doctor, eat right, get exercise. Change your life so you can prolong it.

God bless you, take care of yourself. Make it your best day yet.

- Adolfo

Friday, December 10, 2010

Day # 197 - Rehearsal

I am writing late today because I've been out all day. Abby and I took the girls to school and stuck around for chapel. Melissa, my daughter, sang with the chorus (choir?) and we stayed to watch. They sang one of my favorite spiritual songs:

Our God is greater
Our God is stronger
God, You are higher than any other
Our God is healer
Awesome in power
Our God
Our God


To watch my little girl singing that song with her classmates, on stage, fearless, dancing interpretively, was overwhelming. I had to keep wiping the tears from my eyes.

Tomorrow, during the real show, I'm toast.

I am always proud of my children, but why is it that seeing them up on a stage seems to make a parent swell? Do we want others to see what we see? Do we want the applause of others to validate our feelings for our kids?

I don't know. All I know is that I am so proud I can't think of anything else right now.

The important thing is that she knows how proud I am and that she knows my pride and my love for her have nothing to do with her performing on stage. It has to do with her being my child. My spectacular, exceptional child. And no, I am not biased.

God bless you and make it your best day yet.

- Adolfo

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Day # 196 - She

She's laying face down. She is dressed in black, head to toe. There is a small stream of blood on the asphalt, a mangled bicycle, a van, people on the sidewalk, and no one has covered her up even though there are already cops on the scene. She is dead and we're all witness to it. I'm driving by and when I grasp what's happening, I instinctively put my hand to my mouth and I wonder what I'm supposed to feel. I say a little prayer for her but mostly for any family and friends that will soon hear the bad news. I go on about the evening's activities and think about her. I think, who was She.

I could easily get lost in the whole, "Life is short" and you never know when your time is up thing. We all know that. It's common knowledge. Every death is sudden unless you're old or hospitalized. Death is violent at times, always emotional, even for the drivers by or the people on the sidewalk. We fear it and yet are fascinated by it. It's guaranteed.

Because you never know, you should control the things you can and accept the things you can't. Don't leave relationships damaged. Make the effort. Tell the people you love how you feel. Laugh all the time. Make sure whatever memory you leave when your moment comes is the right kind of memory.

Some thoughts:

Life is what happens when you can't get to sleep. - Fran Lebowitz

Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save. - Will Rogers

If I had to live my life again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner. - Tallulah Bankhead.

Live your best day today. God bless you.

- Adolfo

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Day # 195 - Being Happy is a Choice

I'm happy. I thought I'd share that with you. I love the cool weather. My kids are healthy. Life is good and getting better every day. I am happy and I want to share that with you.

It's important to be happy. If you're not happy, everything will stink. Happiness is a choice you must make. If you decide to be happy regardless of your circumstances, your life will improve. If you decide to be miserable come what may, what will come is what you deserve, which is what you expect.

I start my new career Monday and I couldn't be happier. It's a dream coming true and it's been a long time coming. I feel like a kid a couple of days before Christmas. I guess, in a way, I am a kid just before Christmas. I wanted to start this career earlier, but things got confused here and there and it's been delayed. No matter. I am happy in advance, and I can tell you that I will be happy when I start and I will be happy every day of my professional life. Like Warren Buffett, I plan to tap dance to the office every day. Why? Because happiness is not just a choice, it's my choice.

When you wake up in the morning, tell yourself you are going to be happy. Commit to it, and it will be so. Whatever happens, accept it graciously and happily and smile and find the bright side. When you stop worrying about things, you will soon run out of things to worry about. Worry, fear, and misery (and all the negative emotions) are like animals that must be fed if they are to live. Stop feeding them. Starve the bastards and don't even stick around to watch them die. Skip on down the Yellow Brick Road and be HAPPY!

God bless you. Make it your best and happiest day yet!

- Adolfo

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Day # 194 - Way Beyond

I got on a conference call last night. This is remarkable because I was on this call representing someone I no longer work for. I am no saint, I am not superior to those who have the common sense not to work for someone they no longer work for. I made a promise to a client and kept it. The client is a travel agent / tour leader who is bringing some folks to South Florida for a cruise. He had asked if I would get on the phone with his clients and tell them about things to do in the area. I said yes.

Why? It took five minutes and greatly raised my stock in this client's eyes. He lives out on the Left Coast and it never hurts to have friends in the Bay Area. Besides, he's a really nice guy who took it pretty hard when he found out I had moved on.

Part of what I did on this call was shed a positive light on someone for whom I should have no positive feelings. It stands to reason that I am not happy with my former employer or they would be my current employer. The truth is, I have learned over the years that no matter what else happens, you must strive for excellence. I am not talking on a professional level, but on a human one.

Be a person of excellence. Do more than is expected and more than is asked. Do it without the expectation of reward. You'll be amazed at how much you can accomplish and you will discover that doing the right thing is a reward in itself.

Make it your best day yet. God bless you. Stay warm.

- Adolfo

Monday, December 6, 2010

Day # 193 - Tales of The Traveling Cookie

My five-year old daughter, Emily, is one of those kids. She eats only what she wants, when she wants. Like most children, she can be bribed, but for the most part it's macaroni & cheese and some form of chicken nuggets. She is also not fond of breakfast, unless it's the weekend, in which case, I am sent to the store for a loaf of Cuban bread, which is served unheated and without butter. She asks for cafe con leche which she will take a couple of sips of. (For those of you not from Hialeah, cafe con leche is Cuban coffee with warm milk. It's like a cafe latte, but $2,000 cheaper.)

Last night, Abby made her outrageous chocolate chip cookies. This morning, Emily asked for one. I know, it's not appropriate breakfast food, sue me. Emily took the cookie in hand and walked all over the house, taking bites that were so small, the cookie kept its original shape. The dog eagerly followed her around, hoping for a crumb, or the whole cookie, to fall.

I am not crazy about the kids eating anywhere other than the table. It's messy, it leads to ants and other creepy-crawlies, and it's just not a good habit. I didn't give Emily too hard a time about it, but I did ask her to go to the table, which she did, only to sit there for a minute while holding the cookie in her little hand.

Parents know that most kids are picky eaters. Some, like my wife, get worked up about it. Others, like me, don't sweat it. I give my kids vitamins and they do eat non-junk foods on a regular basis. I also make sure my kids drink plenty of water. In fact, on occasions when we go to restaurants, my kids will ask for water instead of soda (most times - they're still human.)

I pick my battles because I know my children are not malnourished. I know they get everything they need. I know they are not missing anything in their lives, so I can let them have the occasional chocolate chip cookie for breakfast, or mac & cheese four times a week. Go ahead and call the department of children and families on me if you want, but the cookie stays!

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Day # 192 - Lights

We took the girls to The Villages of Gulfstream last night to walk around and see the light show. The show consists of Christmas Trees covered in lights timed to flash on and off in sync with the artificial sounds of the Trans Siberian Orchestra. If you've never heard of TSO, they basically play Christmas Music... badly. Just kidding, it's great and wonderful, it's just a little tiring... for me. I'm old, I guess.

After spending the day cooped up in an office, I needed to be outdoors and this was just the ticket.

If you live in South Florida, you have doubtless heard the commercials for the light show. I have. I was expecting more than the three Christmas Trees I saw. Part of me was expecting my kids to be disappointed by the scope (or lack thereof) of the show. On the contrary, they were asking if we could wait an hour to see it again.

Why the difference in levels of satisfaction? Sure, the fact that they're kids makes them easier to impress, no denying that, but they only knew there was going to be a light show. They thought we were going to drive through the neighborhood, stopping in front of the houses that are lighted up. They couldn't help being impressed. I, who should know better, allowed myself to expect miracles, and so nothing could have reached my level of expectation. So was I wrong to expect so much and were the kids right to have no expectations? In some ways, we were both right and both wrong.

I am obviously stretching here, but our expectations in life should always be high. I heard the commercials for the light show and expected the gates of Heaven to open up. Why? Because that's what I wanted. All I told the kids was that we were going to see a Christmas light show. Period. They didn't know what to expect and were very pleased as a result.

In life, you must expect, and demand, excellence from yourself and other people. Will you sometimes be disappointed? Sure, but if you expect nothing and get it every time, you will not only be disappointed, you will become tired and bitter. Even when someone does more than they needed to, it won't matter, because you didn't expect anything and therefore didn't care and were not invested in the outcome. Win, lose, whatever, is not a way to live. Raise your expectations and let the people around you know. Tell them you expect the best of them, and that they should expect the best of you. This is the key to excellence and success for yourself and for those around you.

God bless you. Make it an excellent day.

- Adolfo

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Day # 191 - A.I.

A.I.: Arrogance & Ignorance. There is a lot of each going around, usually in tandem. I have been exposed to thousands of people over the year and it never ceases to amaze me how little they know - or how little they care to know. We have chosen ignorance as a lifestyle. We are oblivious to the choices we make and the choices made for us, never for a moment thinking that our futures are in the hands of disinterested, arrogant people.

The biggest distinction between the Haves and the Have-Nots is information. By information, I mean the Haves choose to be informed, to be educated. They spend their money on books and education and they work as hard as they have to in order to succeed, while the Have-Nots do not invest in their education and do not work as hard as they can. Why? My belief is that many of the Have-Nots have been convinced by the government and the media that those who are successful, or rich, only became so by cheating. The Have-Nots are constantly told the rich get richer while the poor get poorer. You spend enough time telling a bird it can't fly and it will eventually believe you.

The arrogant politicians believe they are better than the rest of us. They believe they are a glamorous race of people who were born to lead. The unwashed masses exist to do their bidding. The common folk, the Have-Nots, believe this. What else will they believe? They hear the words of their "Leaders" and they look around at their environment and they believe it's true. Sometimes, one gets away, but we don't want to talk about that now, do we?

When "Leaders" convince their followers that they don't stand a chance because of their skin color, their ethnicity, their gender, or whatever BS reason they can come up with, the followers don't stand a chance. Too many blacks believe that the world outside is a racist place where they don't stand a chance. Even our president, who is half-black, perpetuates this lie. Hispanics are no better off. We are told that the US is racist because some of us would like immigration laws observed. They are told this so often that they can't believe anything else. These people are suffering as a result of their own ignorance. They could accomplish anything if they would just decide to believe in themselves.

You avoid this by getting your information from various sources. Right or Left, doesn't matter. Read both. Have a little CNN with your Fox. Read magazines and books and more than one newspaper. Then, and here's the radical part of my plan, think! For the love of all that matters, THINK! Use your head. Ignorance is a choice. We are all guilty of it at times and that's no crime. Ignorance becomes criminal when left unchecked. Pick up a book and think for yourself. Encourage others to do the same. Build yourself up and let no one tear you down. It's your life... Live it!

Adolfo

Friday, December 3, 2010

Day # 190 - Free at Last

For a while now, I've been writing about certain situations, mostly related to business and management, without giving too many details. It doesn't take Sherlock Holmes to know I was referring to my own job and my unhappiness with it. I was cryptic because I was being respectful of my employers and protective of my job.

Well, that's all over now. After months of misery, of being under-appreciated, overworked, and underpaid, I resigned. There was no fit of rage, no "Jerry Maguire" speech, no AK-47. I didn't even stop and say good-bye to my co-workers. I simply responded to yet another insulting email written in broken English by a person who is not my boss, with: "Effective immediately, I resign my position as director of sales." I hit send. I walked out. I came home, made lunch, and helped Abby with spring cleaning (I know it's not spring - you get me.)

The calls came after, along with promises that all I deserved was just around the corner, like the drunk who promises his wife as she walks out the door that he was planning to go to the meeting next week. Too little too late.

My former boss asked how I could make a decision as serious as this one in a moment of anger. I told him the moment I walked out was the end of my anger. It was an easy decision, one that instantly brought peace. It wasn't about them or about me; we just weren't the right fit.

I learned more in the time working for this company than in any other similar period of time in my life. I learned:

- Get it in writing. Although we want to believe the best in people, written agreements help define what that is. Although most of us would never steal or kill, knowing there are laws meant to punish those who do provides comfort to us, as well as a behavioral guideline.

- Set the expectations. I gave too much for too little. It's hard to get someone to expect any different once you spoil them.

- Stand your ground. Not an inch of our territory, not a stone of our fortress. If you give someone an inch, they will take you a mile. Draw your boundaries and adhere to them; if you don't, no one else will.

- Respect: Give it, earn it, expect it, demand it. If you allow yourself to be disrespected once, you'd best get used to it.

- Know your value and demand it.

I may eventually sit down and write a memoir of this experience. It has been eye-opening and educational. I learned a lot about what not to do in business and I think the world could benefit from the knowledge - especially younger people coming up in business.

I am free. I know where I've been. I know where God is taking me. I'll let you know when I get there.

God bless you. Make it a great day. Be free.

- Adolfo

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Day # 189 - Operational Freedom

Today's post is about business. It's an operations thing. Those of you who work for someone else will understand. Those of you who are self-employed, stop reading now, fall on your knees and thank God for that gift - then get back to work, because you don't want to risk losing that freedom.

In business, as in government, or any other organization, it is important to know your role. It is important for roles to be clearly defined for each member of the team, from the CEO to the janitor. This seems elementary, but it's one of those things that can easily be lost when there are too many people trying to be the chief - it leaves no little Indians. The micromanaging control-freaks of the world will soon enough lose the best people and wind up with the weak and the lazy running their departments or businesses. Most of these second-rate "businesspeople" will be okay with it, because they are so unsure of their worth as human beings that they would rather hold on to their power and fail, than release it and prosper.

The formula to success in an organization is simple:

1 - Hire the best people you can find.
2 - Pay them what they are worth.
3 - Incentivize their performance.
4 - Get the hell out of their way.

Your organization will never thrive if you have an accountant watching the sales department, telling them how to speak to clients, when and if they can take a lunch break, monitoring emails and taking them out of context, and generally interfering with the smooth operation of the single most important function of any business. A hospital administrator should never walk into an operating room and tell the surgeon how to do her job, either.

This should speak for itself, but common sense ain't all that common.

The same applies to children. Give your kids enough space to operate. Let them make mistakes. This is important in their formation. If you don't know failure, you will never know success. If you control every step of their lives, they will never learn to make decisions and never know what they can be - so they won't have any incentive to try to become more, to become better, to reach their God-given potential.

Allow your people to breathe. A closed fist may not let anything go, but it also cannot receive anything; and the tighter your grip, the more (whatever) will slip from your fingers.

Adolfo

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Day # 188 - Decisions Then and Now

I am a proponent of speaking the truth. I think everyone should. Lies, or even withholding the truth are destructive. If not to the person being lied to, then definitely to the liar. It is a shame that we sometimes find ourselves in situations where we have to hold back and not speak our minds. The result is typically having to swallow a bitter pill.

I find myself in such a situation right now. I find myself needing to keep my mouth shut about certain things I would rather not keep my mouth shut about. I call it eating sh_t sandwiches. And it's as bad as it sounds.

While I don't consider myself a blunt person, I am an honest person - or at least try to be. Having to bite my tongue is a very uncomfortable situation but ultimately I am responsible for this. I put myself in this situation and I have to ride it out. It's man-up time.

This is why it's important to weigh every decision you make because they all matter. Keep in mind that what you do today may have consequences that you will feel, if not tomorrow, years from now. Using personal finances as an example, the latte you spend five bucks on today, could cost you big time down the road when you're broke, just like the cookies and milk you have before bed can affect your health down the road.

The point is we should take a little time to plan things out so we don't paint ourselves into corners. Freedom is the most important thing you have and you should make sure that you make no decisions to jeopardize it. Be deliberate. Be thoughtful. Be responsible. Be free.

God bless you. Make the right decisions. Make it your best day.

- Adolfo