I started my new position yesterday. What an exciting moment! It's one of those times when the world seems to be wide open and you can step out and conquer it. That is, of course, as long as your van starts, and you can be entered into the system, and there's a wireless connection so your paperwork can be completed...
I was supposed to take my company vehicle yesterday but it wouldn't start. Also, it was leaking gas, lots of it, so I'm kind of glad it didn't start. Who knows? It was one of those days where everything that could have gone wrong, did. And you know what? I couldn't be happier.
My boss kept apologizing; I kept telling her not to worry, that this was a good omen, that all it meant was that great things were heading our way. Nothing as simple as a car not starting was going to ruin my first day at a great new company. She laughed at how I kept smiling. The truth is that I was happy. I felt no anger or disappointment. I have learned that these things are part of God's plan. I wasn't meant to go out today. Now, my van will be fixed up, the oil changed, tires rotated, new car smell re-introduced (okay, that was a stretch, it's pretty new already.)
It's been a recurring theme throughout this blog: don't let the little things steal your joy. I could have looked at this situation and told myself that I'd made a bad choice, that this was a disaster, that I should cut my losses and run, or, I could have simply let it sour my mood. No, instead, I decided to laugh about it, knowing one day, I'll write it all down, every detail, in a memoir of how the toughest year of my life was also the best year of my life, and how the rest and best of my life started on a day when everything seemed to go wrong.
Today, laugh at the little things. Learn not to worry about things that don't matter in the big picture. Develop a sense of perspective and accept that things happen for a reason and that while not all things may seem good, all things come together for good if you believe.
God bless you. Make it the best day yet.
- Adolfo
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Monday, December 13, 2010
Day # 200 - Day 1
Wow! 200 days of this insanity. 200 days of waking up each morning and trying to figure out what I'm going to write about. Often, it's easy; something happens that sticks with me and I find is worth sharing. Other times, I have uneventful days, and I have to dig a little deeper.
I try to write in the range of 500 words per day. That means I've written about 100,000 words so far, and I still have 165 days to go.
Today is day one at my new job. The last year has been the toughest of my life (financially speaking) and I am finally emerging from the hole I was cast into. The first few months were a frantic job search during the worst economy of my lifetime, then there was the moment when I learned to let go and put things in God's hands. God brought me to this moment. I am stronger, and better prepared to face the challenges of my new position. I am a better husband and father. I still make mistakes (who doesn't?) but I care about the mistakes I make. I don't just shrug them off.
So today, I start what will be the last job of my life, the job from which I will retire. This is not to say I won't move up in the company. I won't rule that out, but I'm taking it one day at a time.
And isn't that what the last 200 days have taught me?
Make it a great day. God bless you. Stay warm.
- Adolfo
I try to write in the range of 500 words per day. That means I've written about 100,000 words so far, and I still have 165 days to go.
Today is day one at my new job. The last year has been the toughest of my life (financially speaking) and I am finally emerging from the hole I was cast into. The first few months were a frantic job search during the worst economy of my lifetime, then there was the moment when I learned to let go and put things in God's hands. God brought me to this moment. I am stronger, and better prepared to face the challenges of my new position. I am a better husband and father. I still make mistakes (who doesn't?) but I care about the mistakes I make. I don't just shrug them off.
So today, I start what will be the last job of my life, the job from which I will retire. This is not to say I won't move up in the company. I won't rule that out, but I'm taking it one day at a time.
And isn't that what the last 200 days have taught me?
Make it a great day. God bless you. Stay warm.
- Adolfo
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Day # 199 - Father License
I'm writing so late because I've been working since 6:00 this morning. We had a big event in Weston and I've been there all day. Today was an interesting day. I've done dozens of these events over the years and have seen all kinds of things, but today was the first time I ever had to deal with an abandoned child. The father came back, but it took a while. The kid was about eight years old, the age of my daughter, and he was terrified. He came to me, presumably because he recognized me as an authority figure, with tears in his eyes telling me he didn't know where his father was.
After a while of searching and even announcing the lost child over the P.A., the sperm donor was still nowhere to be found so we called the cops. The father eventually showed up with a stupid grin on his face acting as if nothing had happened. I wanted to beat him to within an inch of his life, nurse him back to health, and then beat him completely to death. The child was so nervous he couldn't remember his own last name.
In my business, I too often see parents who are willing to leave their kids in the care of other and because the kid is having fun, they call it quality time. I am not perfect, but I would never abandon my child, not for a moment. Who does that? What kind of beast? Even dogs take care of their young.
I don't know if there is a moral to this story. I just had to get it off my chest. Be a father. Be a mother. Be more than whatever is less than a common dog.
- Adolfo
After a while of searching and even announcing the lost child over the P.A., the sperm donor was still nowhere to be found so we called the cops. The father eventually showed up with a stupid grin on his face acting as if nothing had happened. I wanted to beat him to within an inch of his life, nurse him back to health, and then beat him completely to death. The child was so nervous he couldn't remember his own last name.
In my business, I too often see parents who are willing to leave their kids in the care of other and because the kid is having fun, they call it quality time. I am not perfect, but I would never abandon my child, not for a moment. Who does that? What kind of beast? Even dogs take care of their young.
I don't know if there is a moral to this story. I just had to get it off my chest. Be a father. Be a mother. Be more than whatever is less than a common dog.
- Adolfo
Saturday, December 11, 2010
Day # 198 - Listen to Your Heart
I am not referring to cheesy lyrics from the 90's. I'm thinking about health. Last night was a long night. We took the girls to their school for Melissa's dress rehearsal, stopping for dinner along the way. Abby was driving and around 6:30 started feeling pain in her left arm. The discomfort spread to her shoulder and neck and chest. As we sat through the dress rehearsal, she kept complaining of the pain. I insisted on taking her to urgent care.
The doctor ran an EKG and found nothing, noting that Abby isn't at great risk for a heart attack. He recommended she go to the emergency room where further tests could be run. I agreed; she acted like a man and tried to convince me it wasn't necessary.
By the time we got home it was 11:00PM and both the girls were sleeping so I stayed home and Abby drove herself to the emergency room. I felt terrible, not being there with her, but the kids were knocked out and there was no point in exposing our healthy children to the zillions of diseases that float around in an emergency waiting room.
It was a bad feeling, waiting helplessly for her to come back. Her phone died so when I called her, I got no answer. I watched a movie, prayed, tried to play Wii, whatever I could do to keep my thoughts positive.
She finally got home around 4:00AM. The doctor said it was likely stress, that what she was feeling was muscular, not cardiac. Moments like that make you feel a little foolish, as if having wasted a whole night in an emergency room, or sitting up worrying were a waste of time, but the truth is, life is precious even if it is temporary. If I had told her to stay home and it had turned out to be something worse, I would have never forgiven myself. As it turns out, she's sleeping and the kids don't even know she went to the hospital. I have one more thing to thank God for.
Listen to your heart, your gut, your instinct. I knew Abby needed to see a doctor, even as I hoped there was nothing to worry about and wished the pain would instantly vanish so we could just go home. I didn't want to sit up, imagining terrible things and life without her, but would I have been able to sleep if she had been home instead of being looked after?
Men, especially, tend to ignore their bodies. We think it's weak to go to the doctor. Nonsense. It's weak to be irresponsible and abandon those who depend on you. Go see your doctor, eat right, get exercise. Change your life so you can prolong it.
God bless you, take care of yourself. Make it your best day yet.
- Adolfo
The doctor ran an EKG and found nothing, noting that Abby isn't at great risk for a heart attack. He recommended she go to the emergency room where further tests could be run. I agreed; she acted like a man and tried to convince me it wasn't necessary.
By the time we got home it was 11:00PM and both the girls were sleeping so I stayed home and Abby drove herself to the emergency room. I felt terrible, not being there with her, but the kids were knocked out and there was no point in exposing our healthy children to the zillions of diseases that float around in an emergency waiting room.
It was a bad feeling, waiting helplessly for her to come back. Her phone died so when I called her, I got no answer. I watched a movie, prayed, tried to play Wii, whatever I could do to keep my thoughts positive.
She finally got home around 4:00AM. The doctor said it was likely stress, that what she was feeling was muscular, not cardiac. Moments like that make you feel a little foolish, as if having wasted a whole night in an emergency room, or sitting up worrying were a waste of time, but the truth is, life is precious even if it is temporary. If I had told her to stay home and it had turned out to be something worse, I would have never forgiven myself. As it turns out, she's sleeping and the kids don't even know she went to the hospital. I have one more thing to thank God for.
Listen to your heart, your gut, your instinct. I knew Abby needed to see a doctor, even as I hoped there was nothing to worry about and wished the pain would instantly vanish so we could just go home. I didn't want to sit up, imagining terrible things and life without her, but would I have been able to sleep if she had been home instead of being looked after?
Men, especially, tend to ignore their bodies. We think it's weak to go to the doctor. Nonsense. It's weak to be irresponsible and abandon those who depend on you. Go see your doctor, eat right, get exercise. Change your life so you can prolong it.
God bless you, take care of yourself. Make it your best day yet.
- Adolfo
Friday, December 10, 2010
Day # 197 - Rehearsal
I am writing late today because I've been out all day. Abby and I took the girls to school and stuck around for chapel. Melissa, my daughter, sang with the chorus (choir?) and we stayed to watch. They sang one of my favorite spiritual songs:
Our God is greater
Our God is stronger
God, You are higher than any other
Our God is healer
Awesome in power
Our God
Our God
To watch my little girl singing that song with her classmates, on stage, fearless, dancing interpretively, was overwhelming. I had to keep wiping the tears from my eyes.
Tomorrow, during the real show, I'm toast.
I am always proud of my children, but why is it that seeing them up on a stage seems to make a parent swell? Do we want others to see what we see? Do we want the applause of others to validate our feelings for our kids?
I don't know. All I know is that I am so proud I can't think of anything else right now.
The important thing is that she knows how proud I am and that she knows my pride and my love for her have nothing to do with her performing on stage. It has to do with her being my child. My spectacular, exceptional child. And no, I am not biased.
God bless you and make it your best day yet.
- Adolfo
Our God is greater
Our God is stronger
God, You are higher than any other
Our God is healer
Awesome in power
Our God
Our God
To watch my little girl singing that song with her classmates, on stage, fearless, dancing interpretively, was overwhelming. I had to keep wiping the tears from my eyes.
Tomorrow, during the real show, I'm toast.
I am always proud of my children, but why is it that seeing them up on a stage seems to make a parent swell? Do we want others to see what we see? Do we want the applause of others to validate our feelings for our kids?
I don't know. All I know is that I am so proud I can't think of anything else right now.
The important thing is that she knows how proud I am and that she knows my pride and my love for her have nothing to do with her performing on stage. It has to do with her being my child. My spectacular, exceptional child. And no, I am not biased.
God bless you and make it your best day yet.
- Adolfo
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Day # 196 - She
She's laying face down. She is dressed in black, head to toe. There is a small stream of blood on the asphalt, a mangled bicycle, a van, people on the sidewalk, and no one has covered her up even though there are already cops on the scene. She is dead and we're all witness to it. I'm driving by and when I grasp what's happening, I instinctively put my hand to my mouth and I wonder what I'm supposed to feel. I say a little prayer for her but mostly for any family and friends that will soon hear the bad news. I go on about the evening's activities and think about her. I think, who was She.
I could easily get lost in the whole, "Life is short" and you never know when your time is up thing. We all know that. It's common knowledge. Every death is sudden unless you're old or hospitalized. Death is violent at times, always emotional, even for the drivers by or the people on the sidewalk. We fear it and yet are fascinated by it. It's guaranteed.
Because you never know, you should control the things you can and accept the things you can't. Don't leave relationships damaged. Make the effort. Tell the people you love how you feel. Laugh all the time. Make sure whatever memory you leave when your moment comes is the right kind of memory.
Some thoughts:
Life is what happens when you can't get to sleep. - Fran Lebowitz
Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save. - Will Rogers
If I had to live my life again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner. - Tallulah Bankhead.
Live your best day today. God bless you.
- Adolfo
I could easily get lost in the whole, "Life is short" and you never know when your time is up thing. We all know that. It's common knowledge. Every death is sudden unless you're old or hospitalized. Death is violent at times, always emotional, even for the drivers by or the people on the sidewalk. We fear it and yet are fascinated by it. It's guaranteed.
Because you never know, you should control the things you can and accept the things you can't. Don't leave relationships damaged. Make the effort. Tell the people you love how you feel. Laugh all the time. Make sure whatever memory you leave when your moment comes is the right kind of memory.
Some thoughts:
Life is what happens when you can't get to sleep. - Fran Lebowitz
Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save. - Will Rogers
If I had to live my life again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner. - Tallulah Bankhead.
Live your best day today. God bless you.
- Adolfo
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Day # 195 - Being Happy is a Choice
I'm happy. I thought I'd share that with you. I love the cool weather. My kids are healthy. Life is good and getting better every day. I am happy and I want to share that with you.
It's important to be happy. If you're not happy, everything will stink. Happiness is a choice you must make. If you decide to be happy regardless of your circumstances, your life will improve. If you decide to be miserable come what may, what will come is what you deserve, which is what you expect.
I start my new career Monday and I couldn't be happier. It's a dream coming true and it's been a long time coming. I feel like a kid a couple of days before Christmas. I guess, in a way, I am a kid just before Christmas. I wanted to start this career earlier, but things got confused here and there and it's been delayed. No matter. I am happy in advance, and I can tell you that I will be happy when I start and I will be happy every day of my professional life. Like Warren Buffett, I plan to tap dance to the office every day. Why? Because happiness is not just a choice, it's my choice.
When you wake up in the morning, tell yourself you are going to be happy. Commit to it, and it will be so. Whatever happens, accept it graciously and happily and smile and find the bright side. When you stop worrying about things, you will soon run out of things to worry about. Worry, fear, and misery (and all the negative emotions) are like animals that must be fed if they are to live. Stop feeding them. Starve the bastards and don't even stick around to watch them die. Skip on down the Yellow Brick Road and be HAPPY!
God bless you. Make it your best and happiest day yet!
- Adolfo
It's important to be happy. If you're not happy, everything will stink. Happiness is a choice you must make. If you decide to be happy regardless of your circumstances, your life will improve. If you decide to be miserable come what may, what will come is what you deserve, which is what you expect.
I start my new career Monday and I couldn't be happier. It's a dream coming true and it's been a long time coming. I feel like a kid a couple of days before Christmas. I guess, in a way, I am a kid just before Christmas. I wanted to start this career earlier, but things got confused here and there and it's been delayed. No matter. I am happy in advance, and I can tell you that I will be happy when I start and I will be happy every day of my professional life. Like Warren Buffett, I plan to tap dance to the office every day. Why? Because happiness is not just a choice, it's my choice.
When you wake up in the morning, tell yourself you are going to be happy. Commit to it, and it will be so. Whatever happens, accept it graciously and happily and smile and find the bright side. When you stop worrying about things, you will soon run out of things to worry about. Worry, fear, and misery (and all the negative emotions) are like animals that must be fed if they are to live. Stop feeding them. Starve the bastards and don't even stick around to watch them die. Skip on down the Yellow Brick Road and be HAPPY!
God bless you. Make it your best and happiest day yet!
- Adolfo
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