As the aftermath of the family tragedy unfolds, I find myself completely lost. I want to learn and grow from this loss. I want to do more for those I love. I am at a loss for words, unusual, I know, but true.
It was my instinct to withdraw. Is that normal? I went counter to my instinct and went about my day as best I could, knowing the departed would want us to be productive, not reclusive.
I try to understand what only God can understand and I am reminded of my limitations. I want to take the pain of the world and swallow it, squeeze it, and make it die. But I can't. I have no such power. I can barely deal with my own pain. How can I help you with yours? What can one do in moments like these? Pray. Hope. Love.
I am afraid of standing still, of going forward, of the cold I feel in my hands. I am afraid I am not feeling enough, or feeling too much, or if I'm feeling the right things. How do I know? I don't. I won't.
I am afraid for my mother, who is so hurt by all of this. I am afraid for my aunt, who has been through so much and now the ultimate tragedy.
Then I pause, and I realize that I don't need to be afraid. I have God and there is where my strength lies. I have people around me who love me, and there is where I prop myself up. I have children who look to me for leadership, and from them I find my motivation.
Someone told me yesterday, "When you die, your inbox will still be full." Kinda makes you think about what really matters, doesn't it?
God bless you. Make it a great day.
- Adolfo
Showing posts with label faith. Show all posts
Showing posts with label faith. Show all posts
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Monday, January 3, 2011
Day # 220 - The Wisdom of Children
Yesterday, we had to give our children some bad news. Never an easy thing to do. I won't go into what the news was because it is of a personal nature and it's irrelevant to the point I'm trying to make.
My daughters have rarely seen me cry. I am a bit of a cry baby, but I've managed to keep that side of me from them for a long time. Yesterday, as I spoke with them, I cracked. They saw me lose it. They were upset of course, but Melissa did something that amazed me: she walked away and came back with a little card I have on my desk that reads: Count your blessings not your worries. Of course, me being the tough guy that I am, this made me really start bawling.
The amazing thing is that children will go where you lead them. For the longest time, I have tried to teach my children certain values and attitudes. Positivity is something I want them to have. Given how negative I was most of my life, I find it important to teach them this while they are young, to make these beliefs a part of their nature. If it's my job to mold them into the women they will be one day, then I need to focus on nurturing the good, not whatever their nature may be.
I believe many of us are predisposed to certain attitudes, but I also believe that these attitudes can be replaced with different attitudes. Just as the happiest person can become jaded and angry with the pressures and worries of every day life, the darkest attitude can be lightened with practice.
Yesterday, Melissa made me proud. It's not the first time and it won't be the last. She is an amazing person. The credit for this goes to God, not to her earthly parents. I'm just glad I haven't screwed that up.
Teach your kids the right thing in every circumstance. Talk to them like your equals, not like inferiors. Show them to have confidence, and you never know when they will reward you.
God bless you. Make it a great day.
- Adolfo
My daughters have rarely seen me cry. I am a bit of a cry baby, but I've managed to keep that side of me from them for a long time. Yesterday, as I spoke with them, I cracked. They saw me lose it. They were upset of course, but Melissa did something that amazed me: she walked away and came back with a little card I have on my desk that reads: Count your blessings not your worries. Of course, me being the tough guy that I am, this made me really start bawling.
The amazing thing is that children will go where you lead them. For the longest time, I have tried to teach my children certain values and attitudes. Positivity is something I want them to have. Given how negative I was most of my life, I find it important to teach them this while they are young, to make these beliefs a part of their nature. If it's my job to mold them into the women they will be one day, then I need to focus on nurturing the good, not whatever their nature may be.
I believe many of us are predisposed to certain attitudes, but I also believe that these attitudes can be replaced with different attitudes. Just as the happiest person can become jaded and angry with the pressures and worries of every day life, the darkest attitude can be lightened with practice.
Yesterday, Melissa made me proud. It's not the first time and it won't be the last. She is an amazing person. The credit for this goes to God, not to her earthly parents. I'm just glad I haven't screwed that up.
Teach your kids the right thing in every circumstance. Talk to them like your equals, not like inferiors. Show them to have confidence, and you never know when they will reward you.
God bless you. Make it a great day.
- Adolfo
Monday, November 22, 2010
Day # 179 - The Season Begins
In three more days it will be Thanksgiving. Most of us are shifting into day-off mode, "exercising" to stretch our bellies to make room for the delicacies we will enjoy on Thursday. We will gather with friends and family and we will give thanks. In many cases it will be a ritual, we pray because we're supposed to pray and we eat because it's good to eat. Then we go shopping and lose our humanity in that swirl of consumerism known as black Friday. Funny thing about the season: it gives us a chance to miss the point twice.
Potential Church, where my family and I attend service, ran a food drive in cooperation with the Miami Rescue Mission yesterday. We dropped off a couple of turkeys. It felt nice and empty to do it. Why empty? There's something just slightly off about donating food before National Pig-Out Day. I will eat better today, even if I'm not hungry, than most of the world will eat all week. I once read where someone wrote, "The next time you feel like complaining, remember that your garbage can eats better than 90% of the world." Kinda makes you think.
The message in church yesterday was about the history and meaning of the Christmas Tree. The subtext dealt with helping those less fortunate. I have, recently, become a student of Ayn Rand and her philosophy of objectivism. Objectivism is the political philosophy of ego, or, every man for himself, basically. Now I find myself needing to reconcile Objectivism with Christianity. It's easier than you'd think: the better I do, the more good I can do.
The tough part here is the give a man a fish, teach a man to fish thing. Some people were never taught to fish, they've been given fish their whole lives. How to appeal to their egos, how to get them to learn to do what has been done for them for so long, is the greatest challenge there is. The transition is challenging, not impossible, but difficult, especially in this kind of economic environment, and during the time of year when charity is expected.
What are you going to do, not only during this season, but from here on out, to help make your country and your world a better place? Who will you teach to fish? What family will you help? Where will you volunteer? What will you do? Do something, and take your children with you. If you are blessed enough to give them Thanksgiving and Christmas, even modest ones, than you are doing better than so many out there. Service to your fellow man is the path to prosperity, to understanding, to joy, and yes, to heaven.
God bless you. Make it someone else's best day yet, as well as your own.
- Adolfo
http://www.potentialchurch.com
Potential Church, where my family and I attend service, ran a food drive in cooperation with the Miami Rescue Mission yesterday. We dropped off a couple of turkeys. It felt nice and empty to do it. Why empty? There's something just slightly off about donating food before National Pig-Out Day. I will eat better today, even if I'm not hungry, than most of the world will eat all week. I once read where someone wrote, "The next time you feel like complaining, remember that your garbage can eats better than 90% of the world." Kinda makes you think.
The message in church yesterday was about the history and meaning of the Christmas Tree. The subtext dealt with helping those less fortunate. I have, recently, become a student of Ayn Rand and her philosophy of objectivism. Objectivism is the political philosophy of ego, or, every man for himself, basically. Now I find myself needing to reconcile Objectivism with Christianity. It's easier than you'd think: the better I do, the more good I can do.
The tough part here is the give a man a fish, teach a man to fish thing. Some people were never taught to fish, they've been given fish their whole lives. How to appeal to their egos, how to get them to learn to do what has been done for them for so long, is the greatest challenge there is. The transition is challenging, not impossible, but difficult, especially in this kind of economic environment, and during the time of year when charity is expected.
What are you going to do, not only during this season, but from here on out, to help make your country and your world a better place? Who will you teach to fish? What family will you help? Where will you volunteer? What will you do? Do something, and take your children with you. If you are blessed enough to give them Thanksgiving and Christmas, even modest ones, than you are doing better than so many out there. Service to your fellow man is the path to prosperity, to understanding, to joy, and yes, to heaven.
God bless you. Make it someone else's best day yet, as well as your own.
- Adolfo
http://www.potentialchurch.com
Monday, November 8, 2010
Day # 165 - In His Service
For years, all I thought about was becoming a writer. I dedicated every spare moment to my craft, waking early to let the creative juices flow. I was prolific, writing six screenplays, five novels, hundreds of poems, dozens of short stories and essays.
Then I stopped.
Just like that. I stopped writing. Years went by and it was always somewhere in the back of my mind, like a dirty secret. I talked about it once in a while, like an old man who'd been the high school football star. Yeah, I'd tell them, I used to write. Wrote a whole bunch. I could have been one of the good ones.
Eventually, I started writing again, but fiction seemed so trivial. I wrote speeches and I wrote on politics and social issues. Suddenly I was creative again. But I missed fiction. Is it really trivial? No. It's vital.
I wrote a column for the chamber of commerce during my chairmanship. It was cheerleading, mostly, I was vacuuming the carpets on the Titanic post-iceberg. Pointless, but it kept the muscles somewhat loose.
Then I started this blog. I don't know what I hoped to accomplish. I'm not even sure what inspired me, but here I am, writing. Is it "creative" writing? Probably not. Am I going to win a Pulitzer or make a fortune doing this? Nope. Does that matter? Not in the slightest.
The point of this project was to improve myself. Mission somewhat Accomplished. The beauty is that self improvement never ends. We can always get better. We can always do more, be more, expect more (of ourselves.) With this in mind, I volunteered at my church's creative arts department. I went in last night, with several other members of the church, and discussed how I can be of service to God through my writing.
When I think of some of what I've written, I feel a bit embarrassed, maybe even ashamed. Would I want my children to form their opinions of me by reading this stuff? Probably not. The best way to counter it is to write something they can be proud of. And what better than service to God and to mankind? It is my sincere hope that this blog helps you, dear reader, as much as it's helped me. I know many of you who read me, mostly on facebook, make comments, and many more of you don't. I pray that in some small way, I can inspire you, even though that was the last thing on my mind when I began.
I wanted to work the fat out of my mind with this project. I wanted to become a novelist, or essayist. I wanted to make my life better, and, perhaps, make a better living from my keyboard. I still don't know what will happen, but I know my life is better. I also know that if I can serve God using this ability (is it odd that I don't want to call it talent?) that I have put it to the best possible use.
In a time in my life when I feel my heart being pulled in the direction of ministry, this may be the perfect way for me to begin down this path. I hope you will be there with me. I hope my experience will inspire you.
In spite of the challenges of the past year, I feel happier and more fulfilled than I have at any other time in my life. Yes, there are things I need to fix, relationships in need of mending, but I feel as if God is giving me the tools to make the necessary repairs. Every day is a new beginning, every day is the best day of my life.
Take care of yourself. Use your talents to serve others. God bless you.
- Adolfo
http://ayearwithoutnews.blogspot.com
http://www.cakewhimsybyabdaliz.com
http://www.honeybeepartyrental.com
http://www.facebook.com/adolfojimenez1
http://www.twitter.com/adolfojimenez
Then I stopped.
Just like that. I stopped writing. Years went by and it was always somewhere in the back of my mind, like a dirty secret. I talked about it once in a while, like an old man who'd been the high school football star. Yeah, I'd tell them, I used to write. Wrote a whole bunch. I could have been one of the good ones.
Eventually, I started writing again, but fiction seemed so trivial. I wrote speeches and I wrote on politics and social issues. Suddenly I was creative again. But I missed fiction. Is it really trivial? No. It's vital.
I wrote a column for the chamber of commerce during my chairmanship. It was cheerleading, mostly, I was vacuuming the carpets on the Titanic post-iceberg. Pointless, but it kept the muscles somewhat loose.
Then I started this blog. I don't know what I hoped to accomplish. I'm not even sure what inspired me, but here I am, writing. Is it "creative" writing? Probably not. Am I going to win a Pulitzer or make a fortune doing this? Nope. Does that matter? Not in the slightest.
The point of this project was to improve myself. Mission somewhat Accomplished. The beauty is that self improvement never ends. We can always get better. We can always do more, be more, expect more (of ourselves.) With this in mind, I volunteered at my church's creative arts department. I went in last night, with several other members of the church, and discussed how I can be of service to God through my writing.
When I think of some of what I've written, I feel a bit embarrassed, maybe even ashamed. Would I want my children to form their opinions of me by reading this stuff? Probably not. The best way to counter it is to write something they can be proud of. And what better than service to God and to mankind? It is my sincere hope that this blog helps you, dear reader, as much as it's helped me. I know many of you who read me, mostly on facebook, make comments, and many more of you don't. I pray that in some small way, I can inspire you, even though that was the last thing on my mind when I began.
I wanted to work the fat out of my mind with this project. I wanted to become a novelist, or essayist. I wanted to make my life better, and, perhaps, make a better living from my keyboard. I still don't know what will happen, but I know my life is better. I also know that if I can serve God using this ability (is it odd that I don't want to call it talent?) that I have put it to the best possible use.
In a time in my life when I feel my heart being pulled in the direction of ministry, this may be the perfect way for me to begin down this path. I hope you will be there with me. I hope my experience will inspire you.
In spite of the challenges of the past year, I feel happier and more fulfilled than I have at any other time in my life. Yes, there are things I need to fix, relationships in need of mending, but I feel as if God is giving me the tools to make the necessary repairs. Every day is a new beginning, every day is the best day of my life.
Take care of yourself. Use your talents to serve others. God bless you.
- Adolfo
http://ayearwithoutnews.blogspot.com
http://www.cakewhimsybyabdaliz.com
http://www.honeybeepartyrental.com
http://www.facebook.com/adolfojimenez1
http://www.twitter.com/adolfojimenez
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Day # 146 – Starting the Day Right
I am an early riser, this much has been established. However, this doesn’t mean I bound out of bed and immediately start doing a million things. I tend to lay in bed in the dark for a while each morning, alone with my thoughts. This can be a dangerous thing if one’s not careful about it.
Often my mind wanders in all the wrong directions. I allow the silence to whisper negativity into my mind and my thoughts turn angry or self-defeating. I think of myself. I think of the challenges I expect to face; I exaggerate those challenges and turn what will almost surely be a walk in the garden into the Bay of Pigs.
This is something I have been struggling with for a long time. My hyperactive imagination, coupled with a tendency to dramatize things and be negative, plants seeds of my self-destruction. If I allow this to happen then surely, I will never reach my potential and I will never have a good day.
So I am changing my approach. Rather than thinking of myself or the day ahead, I think of the people I love and I call on God’s blessings for them. I pray for their health, their happiness, their success. I think of all the good things in my life and all the good things that are yet to be. That’s right, I daydream. I envision my day going well. I see myself as very productive, making the right choices in every situation I face. I see my children succeeding at every activity they undertake. I see my parents healthy and vibrant. I see my relationships blossoming.
Rumi said, “the morning breeze has secrets to tell you; do not go back to sleep.” I take advantage of this time to listen to God, in the form of the silence of the morning, and try to gain his wisdom. For too long, this was a time of torment. Now, I am learning to turn it into a time of meditation and prayer and worship. It’s quality time with myself and with God. Try it.
Lessons:
-Decide that you are in control of your thoughts.
-Decide what your thoughts will be and let nothing else in.
-When the negative creeps in, tell yourself that this is not acceptable and steer your mind in the right direction. Do this over and over again if necessary. Soon, it will be a habit requiring no thought.
Make it your best day yet. God bless you.
- Adolfo
Often my mind wanders in all the wrong directions. I allow the silence to whisper negativity into my mind and my thoughts turn angry or self-defeating. I think of myself. I think of the challenges I expect to face; I exaggerate those challenges and turn what will almost surely be a walk in the garden into the Bay of Pigs.
This is something I have been struggling with for a long time. My hyperactive imagination, coupled with a tendency to dramatize things and be negative, plants seeds of my self-destruction. If I allow this to happen then surely, I will never reach my potential and I will never have a good day.
So I am changing my approach. Rather than thinking of myself or the day ahead, I think of the people I love and I call on God’s blessings for them. I pray for their health, their happiness, their success. I think of all the good things in my life and all the good things that are yet to be. That’s right, I daydream. I envision my day going well. I see myself as very productive, making the right choices in every situation I face. I see my children succeeding at every activity they undertake. I see my parents healthy and vibrant. I see my relationships blossoming.
Rumi said, “the morning breeze has secrets to tell you; do not go back to sleep.” I take advantage of this time to listen to God, in the form of the silence of the morning, and try to gain his wisdom. For too long, this was a time of torment. Now, I am learning to turn it into a time of meditation and prayer and worship. It’s quality time with myself and with God. Try it.
Lessons:
-Decide that you are in control of your thoughts.
-Decide what your thoughts will be and let nothing else in.
-When the negative creeps in, tell yourself that this is not acceptable and steer your mind in the right direction. Do this over and over again if necessary. Soon, it will be a habit requiring no thought.
Make it your best day yet. God bless you.
- Adolfo
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