Day # 181 - Trust

My son, AJ, works with me. He has for years, but the situation is a little different now than it used to be. For the last four years, he had worked for the family business. Now, he works for the same company I work for. I recommended him for the job, knowing he would not let me down. I trust him. Although he is only 18 years old, he is one of my closest confidantes. He has a wisdom that is beyond his years and a common-sense unmatched by many adults.

AJ came to me yesterday to talk about personal matters. He was nervous and I understand that, but I have always told him that he can talk to me about anything he wants to talk about and I would listen. I never promised him I would be okay with every decision he made, but I would not explode or judge him. We talked about his concerns and I feel better about things. I feel even closer to him.

Not judging a person is not the same as accepting every choice they make. I am not saying that if your child is thief or a murderer you should be okay with it just because they are your child. I am, however, saying that if your kid is afraid to talk to you, or simply doesn't want to deal with your drama, they will not talk to you, and you won't be of any use to them whatsoever.

AJ and I spoke about his faith. I find myself getting closer to God every day and I want him to come with me. He has doubts about his faith, he gets angry at God, as so many of us do from time to time. He needed his father to reassure him that this is somewhat normal. Until our faith is cemented and our relationship with God is well-established, there will always be room for doubt, and blaming God for your ills is an easy, convenient way to absolve yourself of responsibility. I'm learning this now, I am grateful for the chance to teach this to him at this young age.

I do not advocate being your child's buddy, cool parents are usually not very effective. Discipline is crucial and should not be set aside so that your kid will like you. The important thing is to love your children as God loves you: without condition, without judgment, without limit.

God bless you. Make it your best day yet.

- Adolfo