Day #210 - Man vs. Bridge Round 1

I'm back on the mainland and it's fantastic! Good to be home. Not that I won't be going back. I will and soon, I'm sure, but I am closer to putting the bridge nonsense behind me.

I learned that it's good to chew gum when your nervous because it will keep you from grinding your teeth. I also learned that nothing is scary. How's that for some insight?

What I mean when I tell you nothing is scary is that we assign fear to things. We are scared of certain things and that has nothing to do with the thing we fear. (The thought is clear, but I am having a hard time articulating it.) Why is one person afraid of heights and another isn't? A mountain isn't scary, but someone may be scared of a mountain while another person can't wait to climb to the top of it. The difference is in the thought process, the belief, of one person compared to the other.

I'm tired. I didn't sleep well last night. I never sleep very well in hotels, even in very nice ones. If what I've written makes no sense, it's not you, it's me. Good night.

- Adolfo

Day # 209 - Bridges

For the longest time, I've had a problem with bridges. I don't know the origin of it, but it's pretty bad. It's also irrational. I know it is. I know it makes no sense to go into a panic over crossing a bridge. Yet, although I know it makes no sense to be nervous, I become a wreck.

Fears are like bullies, the only way to defeat them is head-on. Part of the territory I cover for my job is Key West (ain't it hell?) and if you've never been to Key West it's basically a bunch of tiny islands connected by bridges. We don't need no stinkin' ferry boats!

So today, I'll be heading to Key West...alone. I have been mentally preparing myself for this the last few days and I am confident that everything will be fine. I'll probably drive a little slower over the Seven Mile Bridge than most people, but I don't mind being honked at. I can live with other people's disapproval. They can go around me after the hump.

It's a funny thing about fear: even when you know there is nothing to fear, you feel it anyway. I know that millions of people cross these bridges every year. I know I will be in no more danger than in any other place I drive (less danger since I drive in Miami all the time) and yet my palms are sweating even as I write this. I know this is a process. I know I can't just decide not to be scared and it will be so. I also know that if it is to be, it is up to me.

I'll write tomorrow from the Keys before heading back. I think I'll have dinner at Sloppy Joe's tonight and breakfast at the French Bakery before returning tomorrow. Maybe not, I'll cross that bridge when I get to it. (Sorry, couldn't resist.)

God bless you. Make it a great day.

- Adolfo