For the longest time, I've had a problem with bridges. I don't know the origin of it, but it's pretty bad. It's also irrational. I know it is. I know it makes no sense to go into a panic over crossing a bridge. Yet, although I know it makes no sense to be nervous, I become a wreck.
Fears are like bullies, the only way to defeat them is head-on. Part of the territory I cover for my job is Key West (ain't it hell?) and if you've never been to Key West it's basically a bunch of tiny islands connected by bridges. We don't need no stinkin' ferry boats!
So today, I'll be heading to Key West...alone. I have been mentally preparing myself for this the last few days and I am confident that everything will be fine. I'll probably drive a little slower over the Seven Mile Bridge than most people, but I don't mind being honked at. I can live with other people's disapproval. They can go around me after the hump.
It's a funny thing about fear: even when you know there is nothing to fear, you feel it anyway. I know that millions of people cross these bridges every year. I know I will be in no more danger than in any other place I drive (less danger since I drive in Miami all the time) and yet my palms are sweating even as I write this. I know this is a process. I know I can't just decide not to be scared and it will be so. I also know that if it is to be, it is up to me.
I'll write tomorrow from the Keys before heading back. I think I'll have dinner at Sloppy Joe's tonight and breakfast at the French Bakery before returning tomorrow. Maybe not, I'll cross that bridge when I get to it. (Sorry, couldn't resist.)
God bless you. Make it a great day.
- Adolfo
Showing posts with label Confidence. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Confidence. Show all posts
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Day # 187 - Know Your Value
I witnessed something yesterday that left me feeling a little sick to my stomach. I can't go into too many details, but I want to share the lesson with you: know your value, your worth. Women, especially, should know their worth and see themselves as complete human beings, not T & A.
In a world that has become increasingly superficial, where pornography has become mainstream and thought is not so much outlawed (yet) as out of fashion, it's more important than ever to know your value and to instill a sense of value in your children. We have been trained to believe that if you're not famous, you're worthless. At the same time, we have blurred the line between fame and infamy. It doesn't matter what you're doing, as long as lots of people see you doing it.
I hate to continue on the TV rant, but because it is primarily a visual medium, the greater emphasis is on being seen, not heard or worth hearing, further encouraging the intellectual laziness that is railroading us toward becoming property of China. I have nothing against the Chinese, but I am not interested in becoming one of them.
America is in decline and that decline begins at home, just as this much-needed revolution must. Generations of Americans living in poverty, living for the momentary pleasures of parties and gadgets with no thought to the future and a blindness to the need to improve, and a political system that benefits from their suffering. Those in the middle are content to spend all their money plus what they can borrow to have hi-def, hi-fi, and high performance, but not a thought to the future. People are determining their worth by the stuff they have, the clothes they wear, the cars they drive. If your value is determined by things that can be taken away, it isn't really value, is it? It's just crap.
Value yourself. Respect yourself. Earn the respect of others by being a person worthy of respect. Look within for your value, count your blessings, knowing that blessings rarely come with a receipt or a money-back guarantee. Become a person of value and set the example for your children or for other young people - or just do it because you should. You are created in the image of God, your value has been determined by a much more credible source.
God bless you. Make it your best day yet.
- Adolfo
In a world that has become increasingly superficial, where pornography has become mainstream and thought is not so much outlawed (yet) as out of fashion, it's more important than ever to know your value and to instill a sense of value in your children. We have been trained to believe that if you're not famous, you're worthless. At the same time, we have blurred the line between fame and infamy. It doesn't matter what you're doing, as long as lots of people see you doing it.
I hate to continue on the TV rant, but because it is primarily a visual medium, the greater emphasis is on being seen, not heard or worth hearing, further encouraging the intellectual laziness that is railroading us toward becoming property of China. I have nothing against the Chinese, but I am not interested in becoming one of them.
America is in decline and that decline begins at home, just as this much-needed revolution must. Generations of Americans living in poverty, living for the momentary pleasures of parties and gadgets with no thought to the future and a blindness to the need to improve, and a political system that benefits from their suffering. Those in the middle are content to spend all their money plus what they can borrow to have hi-def, hi-fi, and high performance, but not a thought to the future. People are determining their worth by the stuff they have, the clothes they wear, the cars they drive. If your value is determined by things that can be taken away, it isn't really value, is it? It's just crap.
Value yourself. Respect yourself. Earn the respect of others by being a person worthy of respect. Look within for your value, count your blessings, knowing that blessings rarely come with a receipt or a money-back guarantee. Become a person of value and set the example for your children or for other young people - or just do it because you should. You are created in the image of God, your value has been determined by a much more credible source.
God bless you. Make it your best day yet.
- Adolfo
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Day # 175 - Pull
Inertia is one of the most powerful inside-of-us killers of potential. It's so easy to stay with what is comfortable. It's easy to stay on the couch in front of the TV and not read a book that will make you better. It's easy to gossip with your friends by the water cooler when you should be making prospecting calls. It's easy to eat cookies when you should be at the gym or riding your bike. With the exception of the TV, I am, to some degree or other, guilty of all of the above.
I get my work done, I go the extra mile, but I often pull over when on the extra mile and see the sights. I agree that you have to stop and smell the roses, but not until your work is done. You must fight the pull.
Pull comes in many forms. There are millions of productivity and personal-development thieves out there. Television is my pet-peeve, but the Internet can be as bad. News is a killer, gossip is a killer, laziness is a killer. The list goes on and on. In order to better yourself, you must resist pull. You must realize that your natural inclination will always be toward the easy, the lazy path.
I want to make a distinction between inclination and instinct. I trust my instinct 100%. You should listen to your gut. Listen to still small voice in your heart. Inclination is our body's natural, often lazy, tendency to do what is easy or pleasurable. Follow your instinct, but fight your tendency. Until your tendencies are all transformed into positive habits, it's an uphill, in-the-snow and driving wind battle. But once you create new tendencies, you will be better off.
I have won the battle against caffeine. I resolved on June 11, 2010 that I would never drink another drop of caffeine and I haven't. It's been five months and I can't imagine ever drinking caffeine again. I wake up early, I function perfectly, no crankiness, sleepiness, irritability, or any of the other things caffeine addicts experience when they don't get their fix. I know, I used to be one of them. I find myself rejecting alcohol, too. I used to enjoy the occasional glass of wine. Abby and I have quite a few very nice bottles in the house. Now, they all taste like vinegar to me. This is not to say I'll never drink another adult beverage, but I probably won't.
I resisted the pull of caffeine, suffered for days through the worst headache of my life, and now I'm free. I resisted the pull and I won. I resisted the pull of news and I am now a much more positive person. I am not an alcoholic and don't have a problem with alcohol, but I am not drawn to it. It can only be good for my health so I won't fight it. I welcome it. Now, about those cookies...
God bless you and thanks for reading. Resist the pull and you'll be on your way to a better you.
- Adolfo
I get my work done, I go the extra mile, but I often pull over when on the extra mile and see the sights. I agree that you have to stop and smell the roses, but not until your work is done. You must fight the pull.
Pull comes in many forms. There are millions of productivity and personal-development thieves out there. Television is my pet-peeve, but the Internet can be as bad. News is a killer, gossip is a killer, laziness is a killer. The list goes on and on. In order to better yourself, you must resist pull. You must realize that your natural inclination will always be toward the easy, the lazy path.
I want to make a distinction between inclination and instinct. I trust my instinct 100%. You should listen to your gut. Listen to still small voice in your heart. Inclination is our body's natural, often lazy, tendency to do what is easy or pleasurable. Follow your instinct, but fight your tendency. Until your tendencies are all transformed into positive habits, it's an uphill, in-the-snow and driving wind battle. But once you create new tendencies, you will be better off.
I have won the battle against caffeine. I resolved on June 11, 2010 that I would never drink another drop of caffeine and I haven't. It's been five months and I can't imagine ever drinking caffeine again. I wake up early, I function perfectly, no crankiness, sleepiness, irritability, or any of the other things caffeine addicts experience when they don't get their fix. I know, I used to be one of them. I find myself rejecting alcohol, too. I used to enjoy the occasional glass of wine. Abby and I have quite a few very nice bottles in the house. Now, they all taste like vinegar to me. This is not to say I'll never drink another adult beverage, but I probably won't.
I resisted the pull of caffeine, suffered for days through the worst headache of my life, and now I'm free. I resisted the pull and I won. I resisted the pull of news and I am now a much more positive person. I am not an alcoholic and don't have a problem with alcohol, but I am not drawn to it. It can only be good for my health so I won't fight it. I welcome it. Now, about those cookies...
God bless you and thanks for reading. Resist the pull and you'll be on your way to a better you.
- Adolfo
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Day # 173 - The Right Moment
Have you ever felt the urge or the desire to do something big, something out of the ordinary, and then stopped yourself because it didn't seem like the right time? I don't mean buying a sports car you can't afford or a $1,000 pair of shoes. I mean something of substance, something of importance.
Have you been thinking of starting a business or going back to school? Have you thought about switching careers and doing what you really love? Have you thought of quitting everything and backpacking across Europe, or the U.S.? How about training to run a marathon? Where does it itch?
I can tell you from my own experience that waiting for the right moment is no different than deciding not to do it at all. Why? Because the right moment will never arrive. The stars will never align just so. The right moment is the moment when inspiration strikes. Do not doubt your gut. Your gut is the voice of God whispering in your ear. If that still, small voice says it's time, then you'd better believe it's time. Don't fear failure. Don't fear rejection. The biggest failure is the failure to act. The biggest, and most painful, rejection is when we reject what the voice is telling us; when we put things off, waiting for another, better, moment.
Whatever it is that's been itching, scratch it. Do what you have to do in order to do what you want to do. All you have in the end are the memories. All you create will be left behind. Decide what that will be and then make it happen. You don't want to lay there at the end of your days, wishing you had done something. People who find themselves there will tell you there was never a right moment or a wrong one, but that every moment could have been the moment, if only they had chosen to make it so.
- Adolfo
Have you been thinking of starting a business or going back to school? Have you thought about switching careers and doing what you really love? Have you thought of quitting everything and backpacking across Europe, or the U.S.? How about training to run a marathon? Where does it itch?
I can tell you from my own experience that waiting for the right moment is no different than deciding not to do it at all. Why? Because the right moment will never arrive. The stars will never align just so. The right moment is the moment when inspiration strikes. Do not doubt your gut. Your gut is the voice of God whispering in your ear. If that still, small voice says it's time, then you'd better believe it's time. Don't fear failure. Don't fear rejection. The biggest failure is the failure to act. The biggest, and most painful, rejection is when we reject what the voice is telling us; when we put things off, waiting for another, better, moment.
Whatever it is that's been itching, scratch it. Do what you have to do in order to do what you want to do. All you have in the end are the memories. All you create will be left behind. Decide what that will be and then make it happen. You don't want to lay there at the end of your days, wishing you had done something. People who find themselves there will tell you there was never a right moment or a wrong one, but that every moment could have been the moment, if only they had chosen to make it so.
- Adolfo
Monday, November 15, 2010
Day # 172 - As long as I'm up...
For so long, I've woken up in the middle of the night and made no use of the time, thinking of it as an inconvenience, or TV time, or time for mindless web-surfing. Now that I have no TV, I am putting the time to better use. I pray for a while and then I go online to write this blog.
I have written about those small hours when the rest of the world is asleep and you can listen to God but I have a hard time taking my own advice. I allow the anticipation of the noise ahead to steal the silence. I begin to think about work or other challenges and I drown out God's voice. I lose the opportunity to spend time with Him because I am too busy trying to figure out how to do it all on my own.
So I'm writing and soon, after I post, I will either go back to bed to sleep, or I will sit here in my office to pray, to let God guide me. Sometimes, we let our ego convince us that we don't need God. We believe we do everything we do on our own, without help, without divine protection. Maybe we can do it all on our own, but why would we want to?
For me, the hardest part of prayer is keeping my mind from wandering. The day, the stresses, the challenges, the negative voices, all creep in and distract me. It's like they're designed to keep me from speaking to, or more importantly, listening to, God. Even as I write this, in an effort to acknowledge the challenges, the distractions come up: a piece of paper of no particular importance catches my eye; a sound outside; the noise of the house settling or the breeze knocking a branch off a tree. The world conspires to keep me from God, to keep me from my best. I am complicit in this because I allow it to happen. Not for long.
Find your quiet time. Find time to be alone with God, alone with your thoughts. Quiet the noise and find peace. It is there that you'll find God. It is there that you'll find answers.
- Adolfo
I have written about those small hours when the rest of the world is asleep and you can listen to God but I have a hard time taking my own advice. I allow the anticipation of the noise ahead to steal the silence. I begin to think about work or other challenges and I drown out God's voice. I lose the opportunity to spend time with Him because I am too busy trying to figure out how to do it all on my own.
So I'm writing and soon, after I post, I will either go back to bed to sleep, or I will sit here in my office to pray, to let God guide me. Sometimes, we let our ego convince us that we don't need God. We believe we do everything we do on our own, without help, without divine protection. Maybe we can do it all on our own, but why would we want to?
For me, the hardest part of prayer is keeping my mind from wandering. The day, the stresses, the challenges, the negative voices, all creep in and distract me. It's like they're designed to keep me from speaking to, or more importantly, listening to, God. Even as I write this, in an effort to acknowledge the challenges, the distractions come up: a piece of paper of no particular importance catches my eye; a sound outside; the noise of the house settling or the breeze knocking a branch off a tree. The world conspires to keep me from God, to keep me from my best. I am complicit in this because I allow it to happen. Not for long.
Find your quiet time. Find time to be alone with God, alone with your thoughts. Quiet the noise and find peace. It is there that you'll find God. It is there that you'll find answers.
- Adolfo
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Day # 142 - Prepare for the...
Yesterday was a great day - in spite of my expectations. I was so angry about what I was expecting that I didn't sleep on Thursday. It was a kind of nervous, anxious anticipation. Not the kind you feel when waiting to see the love of your life or before a big event. It was a death row kind of feeling. Not scared, but angry about being an innocent man about to ride the lightning.
Then I couldn't find my keys.
Since I hadn't slept, and I knew I was going to be pulled out of my office for several hours to be hazed, I decided to go into work early and get everything done. I am most productive in the morning, so I decided to head to work about 7:00 AM, but I couldn't find my keys. I did, eventually. They were in Abby's car. Always the last place you look, right?
I made it to my office by 7:30 and started on paperwork. Filing papers that should have been filed weeks ago. I didn't turn on my computer and I had even snuck in quietly so no one would know I was there. (I work in a hotel, so there's someone there 24/7.)I got so much work done that within an hour I was caught up. I had written my to-do list the day before and tackled all of it by 8:30. My day was done before most people's day would have been started. Now all there was to do was wait. And like Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers told us back in the 80's: The waiting is the hardest part.
I had been in a bad mood since the night before, the thought of sitting on my hands while lesser mortals stood in judgement of me was eating away at my soul. I envisioned every possible outcome, including the Bruce Lee solution which consisted of me single-handedly pulverizing 30 black-belts.
I went to the meeting, taking one last look at my pristine office before going. I sat at the table and was praised from head to toe. I expected hell and the reality was not even close.
Now, I know I have preached about how we will get what we expect. One thing made the difference. I corrected myself every time those negative thoughts filled my head. I reminded myself that it was all in God's hands and that if God is with me, who dares to stand against me. I reminded myself that I am better than those thoughts, that while those thoughts might sneak in from time to time, I was the decider of whether they manifested or not.
Even better things happened to me throughout the day. I was relaxed, happy, and satisfied. I went to bed early last night and dreamt the strangest dreams and woke reluctantly, like a kid on a school day. Knowing how God and positive thinking (sort of) would make the difference. I am wiser today then I was yesterday, which means yesterday was a very good day indeed.
Of course, Abby called in the middle of all this to tell me her keys fell down a storm drain. More on that another time...
God bless you. Make it your best day ever.
- Adolfo
http://www.cakewhimsybyabdaliz.com
http://www.adolfojimenez.com
http://www.honeybeepartyrental.com
http://www.facebook.com/adolfojimenez1
http://www.twitter.com/adolfojimenez
Then I couldn't find my keys.
Since I hadn't slept, and I knew I was going to be pulled out of my office for several hours to be hazed, I decided to go into work early and get everything done. I am most productive in the morning, so I decided to head to work about 7:00 AM, but I couldn't find my keys. I did, eventually. They were in Abby's car. Always the last place you look, right?
I made it to my office by 7:30 and started on paperwork. Filing papers that should have been filed weeks ago. I didn't turn on my computer and I had even snuck in quietly so no one would know I was there. (I work in a hotel, so there's someone there 24/7.)I got so much work done that within an hour I was caught up. I had written my to-do list the day before and tackled all of it by 8:30. My day was done before most people's day would have been started. Now all there was to do was wait. And like Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers told us back in the 80's: The waiting is the hardest part.
I had been in a bad mood since the night before, the thought of sitting on my hands while lesser mortals stood in judgement of me was eating away at my soul. I envisioned every possible outcome, including the Bruce Lee solution which consisted of me single-handedly pulverizing 30 black-belts.
I went to the meeting, taking one last look at my pristine office before going. I sat at the table and was praised from head to toe. I expected hell and the reality was not even close.
Now, I know I have preached about how we will get what we expect. One thing made the difference. I corrected myself every time those negative thoughts filled my head. I reminded myself that it was all in God's hands and that if God is with me, who dares to stand against me. I reminded myself that I am better than those thoughts, that while those thoughts might sneak in from time to time, I was the decider of whether they manifested or not.
Even better things happened to me throughout the day. I was relaxed, happy, and satisfied. I went to bed early last night and dreamt the strangest dreams and woke reluctantly, like a kid on a school day. Knowing how God and positive thinking (sort of) would make the difference. I am wiser today then I was yesterday, which means yesterday was a very good day indeed.
Of course, Abby called in the middle of all this to tell me her keys fell down a storm drain. More on that another time...
God bless you. Make it your best day ever.
- Adolfo
http://www.cakewhimsybyabdaliz.com
http://www.adolfojimenez.com
http://www.honeybeepartyrental.com
http://www.facebook.com/adolfojimenez1
http://www.twitter.com/adolfojimenez
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Day # 129 - Believe It!
A friend of mine called me on Thursday, letting me know that a spot opened up in a cake-decorating competition to be held on Saturday (yesterday.) She asked if Abby would be interested in competing. My initial reaction was to decline, but I thought it best to let Abby decide. Abby accepted and this started 48 very sweet and stressful hours. Even I got in the action, helping with the baking and PR at the event.
Abby won! That's right, my girl won! If it was up to me, we would have sat at home, wouldn't have challenged ourselves, gotten the great exposure or experience and I'd have nothing to write about this morning.
I will post pictures of the winning cake on Facebook if you're interested in seeing it, but the lesson has nothing to do with sugar art.
Abby made the right choice. Even if she'd lost, her choice would have been the right one. Fear of failure is the most paralyzing, limiting thought in the universe. The inability to act when an opportunity arises is no better. Simply put: failure to act is the only action that guarantees failure.
To be clear, I was not afraid of losing, but my initial reaction was that it couldn't be done. Our competitor came with a cake that was twice as big as ours and was already done! She has twenty years of experience, her training and business have taken her around the world! But we won. We would never have won if we'd sat out.
Never be afraid to take a chance. Never let an opportunity pass you by. Never miss a chance to exhibit your talent, your ability, your greatness. Congrats to my Abby. I love you and I couldn't be prouder.
- Adolfo
http://ayearwithoutnews.blogspot.com
http://www.honeybeepartyrental.com
http://www.facebook.com/adolfojimenez1
http://www.twitter.com/adolfojimenez
Abby won! That's right, my girl won! If it was up to me, we would have sat at home, wouldn't have challenged ourselves, gotten the great exposure or experience and I'd have nothing to write about this morning.
I will post pictures of the winning cake on Facebook if you're interested in seeing it, but the lesson has nothing to do with sugar art.
Abby made the right choice. Even if she'd lost, her choice would have been the right one. Fear of failure is the most paralyzing, limiting thought in the universe. The inability to act when an opportunity arises is no better. Simply put: failure to act is the only action that guarantees failure.
To be clear, I was not afraid of losing, but my initial reaction was that it couldn't be done. Our competitor came with a cake that was twice as big as ours and was already done! She has twenty years of experience, her training and business have taken her around the world! But we won. We would never have won if we'd sat out.
Never be afraid to take a chance. Never let an opportunity pass you by. Never miss a chance to exhibit your talent, your ability, your greatness. Congrats to my Abby. I love you and I couldn't be prouder.
- Adolfo
http://ayearwithoutnews.blogspot.com
http://www.honeybeepartyrental.com
http://www.facebook.com/adolfojimenez1
http://www.twitter.com/adolfojimenez
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Day # 125 - The Case for Optimism
I used to be of the belief that an optimist is someone who is always disappointed. Somehow that idea was stuck in my head at a young age and it stayed with me for a long time. I imagine the reasoning is that life can't meet optimistic expectations, better to be pessimistic and pleasantly surprised.
I know now what a load of crap that is.
Optimism is, of course, about positive expectations and outlook, but there's more to it than that. Optimism is making the best of what you are given. I expected X but got Y. Rather than complain, be thankful it wasn't Z. Oh, no! Anything but the dreaded Z! Optimism is a choice, it's not predetermined. Sure, some of us have a tendency to be darker than others. I know, I am one of those people who tend toward dark thoughts, anger, and cynicism. Positivity is a choice and it's sometimes hard work. Sometimes I have the need to vent my anger. The difference between now and a couple of years ago is that I get the anger out of my system and move on. I don't dwell on things.
My father always told me that temper tantrums will kill a person. I don't know how factual his statement is, but I tend to agree. Sure, you can have a heart attack even if you're the happiest guy in the world, but something tells me it's more likely if you're an angry sort of fellow. Besides, might as well have fun until the moment arrives. Angry people don't have fun. Pessimistic people don't have fun.
If misery loves company, isolate it and let it die. Choose happiness.
Today's Lessons:
- Choose optimism. I promise you will not be disappointed.
- Smile. It's the first step to a positive outlook.
- Hang around positive people. It's contagious.
Declarations:
- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better.
- I am blessed with a positive outlook and positive expectations.
Make it your best day yet, and remember, the best way to do that is by making the best of whatever kind of day it is.
God bless you.
- Adolfo
http://ayearwithoutnews.blogspot.com
http://www.honeybeepartyrental.com
http://www.facebook.com/adolfojimenez1
http://www.twitter.com/adolfojimenez
I know now what a load of crap that is.
Optimism is, of course, about positive expectations and outlook, but there's more to it than that. Optimism is making the best of what you are given. I expected X but got Y. Rather than complain, be thankful it wasn't Z. Oh, no! Anything but the dreaded Z! Optimism is a choice, it's not predetermined. Sure, some of us have a tendency to be darker than others. I know, I am one of those people who tend toward dark thoughts, anger, and cynicism. Positivity is a choice and it's sometimes hard work. Sometimes I have the need to vent my anger. The difference between now and a couple of years ago is that I get the anger out of my system and move on. I don't dwell on things.
My father always told me that temper tantrums will kill a person. I don't know how factual his statement is, but I tend to agree. Sure, you can have a heart attack even if you're the happiest guy in the world, but something tells me it's more likely if you're an angry sort of fellow. Besides, might as well have fun until the moment arrives. Angry people don't have fun. Pessimistic people don't have fun.
If misery loves company, isolate it and let it die. Choose happiness.
Today's Lessons:
- Choose optimism. I promise you will not be disappointed.
- Smile. It's the first step to a positive outlook.
- Hang around positive people. It's contagious.
Declarations:
- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better.
- I am blessed with a positive outlook and positive expectations.
Make it your best day yet, and remember, the best way to do that is by making the best of whatever kind of day it is.
God bless you.
- Adolfo
http://ayearwithoutnews.blogspot.com
http://www.honeybeepartyrental.com
http://www.facebook.com/adolfojimenez1
http://www.twitter.com/adolfojimenez
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Day # 122 - The Fight in the Dog
I haven't had a day off since Labor day (is that ironic? I can't decide) so I am getting a little tired. I worked the bar last night and had a little run in with a very scary individual. He was intimidating another patron. I asked him to take a seat and cool it and he mouthed off at me, seeing me as sort of a wimpy little restaurant manager type. I told him that if he didn't cool it not only would I have him removed, I would do it personally, physically. I stood real close and spoke softly, but firmly. No fear. He sat down and shut up.
I could tell he was a bully, maybe he really was a tough guy. He probably could have snapped me in two. But there was no way I would have backed down. Why? Not because I'm tough or spoiling for a fight, but because I was right. I also know that if I backed down once, it would have been the story for the rest of my life in that place. As Darren Hardy says, you make your choices and your choices make you.
He later came over to me, apologized, and told me I "castrated" him. I apologized for being harsh, explaining that it's my job to keep everyone in the place happy and safe. Sounds like a combination of clown and mall cop, doesn't it?
The point is that if you are willing to fight, you typically won't need to fight. If you are willing to do whatever is necessary to achieve a goal, you won't have to do it all; life will step in and help you. Your confidence will carry you a long way - and save your neck. I am not talking about bar fights, I am talking about life. Be prepared, be confident, and be willing to do whatever you have to do. I was willing to grab that man by the neck if necessary. He saw that in my eyes and as a result we ended the evening with handshakes instead of handcuffs.
As Mark Twain once said, "It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog."
He was referring to attitude and will. We can all use more of those.
Make it your best day yet. God bless you. And as Billy Joel once said, "Don't take no s**t from nobody!"
-Adolfo
http://ayearwithoutnews.blogspot.com
http://www.honeybeepartyrental.com
http://www.facebook.com/adolfojimenez1
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I could tell he was a bully, maybe he really was a tough guy. He probably could have snapped me in two. But there was no way I would have backed down. Why? Not because I'm tough or spoiling for a fight, but because I was right. I also know that if I backed down once, it would have been the story for the rest of my life in that place. As Darren Hardy says, you make your choices and your choices make you.
He later came over to me, apologized, and told me I "castrated" him. I apologized for being harsh, explaining that it's my job to keep everyone in the place happy and safe. Sounds like a combination of clown and mall cop, doesn't it?
The point is that if you are willing to fight, you typically won't need to fight. If you are willing to do whatever is necessary to achieve a goal, you won't have to do it all; life will step in and help you. Your confidence will carry you a long way - and save your neck. I am not talking about bar fights, I am talking about life. Be prepared, be confident, and be willing to do whatever you have to do. I was willing to grab that man by the neck if necessary. He saw that in my eyes and as a result we ended the evening with handshakes instead of handcuffs.
As Mark Twain once said, "It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog."
He was referring to attitude and will. We can all use more of those.
Make it your best day yet. God bless you. And as Billy Joel once said, "Don't take no s**t from nobody!"
-Adolfo
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Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Day # 117 - The Family That Reads Together
I decided that if I were to write an autobiography covering the first 39 years of my life, it would be called, "The Dangerous Middle." No, I'm not referring to my waistline. I'm referring to where I have spent a great deal of time.
Abby and I have gotten on the same page about our goals and we are setting and woring toward them together. It's a live-in buddy system and it will work great. We talk about our progress and our setbacks, we talk about ideas, goals and dreams. We (gently) critique one another, and we offer feedback.
Accountability is key. Not to say you can't do it alone, but sometimes the goals get too hairy and you have to call in backup. I have gone 117 days without news and almost 100 days without caffeine, my TV watching is down to about an hour a week (not including football, which doesn't count. Why doesn't it count? Because I said so - my house, my rules!) But these are only a few of my goals, a small step of the journey I must complete to become the person I'm meant to be. The road gets rough and it's nice to have someone in the passenger seat holding the roadmap. (Or the GPS - you get the picture.)
So we have set aside an hour every night to read self-help books, or listen to CD's currently "The Compound Effect," by Darren Hardy. We read the bible and discuss our ups and downs, with a greater emphasis on the ups. Moods are like people: if you ignore them, they go away. Continue ignoring them and make them feel unwanted, they'll stop coming around. It helps to have a wingman (or wingwoman) to give you the boost and the strength to make that happen.
So get a buddy - your spouse, roommate, friend, parent, co-worker, anyone you can trust - and get started.
Make it your best day yet (for you and your Buddy!) God bless you.
- Adolfo
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Abby and I have gotten on the same page about our goals and we are setting and woring toward them together. It's a live-in buddy system and it will work great. We talk about our progress and our setbacks, we talk about ideas, goals and dreams. We (gently) critique one another, and we offer feedback.
Accountability is key. Not to say you can't do it alone, but sometimes the goals get too hairy and you have to call in backup. I have gone 117 days without news and almost 100 days without caffeine, my TV watching is down to about an hour a week (not including football, which doesn't count. Why doesn't it count? Because I said so - my house, my rules!) But these are only a few of my goals, a small step of the journey I must complete to become the person I'm meant to be. The road gets rough and it's nice to have someone in the passenger seat holding the roadmap. (Or the GPS - you get the picture.)
So we have set aside an hour every night to read self-help books, or listen to CD's currently "The Compound Effect," by Darren Hardy. We read the bible and discuss our ups and downs, with a greater emphasis on the ups. Moods are like people: if you ignore them, they go away. Continue ignoring them and make them feel unwanted, they'll stop coming around. It helps to have a wingman (or wingwoman) to give you the boost and the strength to make that happen.
So get a buddy - your spouse, roommate, friend, parent, co-worker, anyone you can trust - and get started.
Make it your best day yet (for you and your Buddy!) God bless you.
- Adolfo
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Thursday, September 9, 2010
Day # 105 - You'll meet yourself there
It's funny how God will give you exactly what you expect. He won't always give you what you want, because what you want and what you expect are not always the same thing.
Think about it: If someone says, "I want to be a millionaire, but I know I'm going to lose my job, go broke, and end up on food stamps." Which is more likely to happen?
If someone says, "I want to be a millionaire, and I know doors are opening up to make that happen," they're more likely to achieve their seven-figure dream.
Why? Because you will meet yourself at your expectations. If you expect good things to happen, they will. If you expect disaster, make sure your insurance is paid up. Donald Trump said, "If you're going to be thinking anyway, you may as well Think BIG." And he knows all about the power of thinking big. How else could someone with that hair be that successful?
Change your thinking today. Cancel the bad, negative, self-defeating thoughts. Don't just wish for good things, expect them. And remember, this is like exercise; you won't lose 20 pounds in ten days of going to the Y, so don't be disappointed if it takes a while before the rewards show up. Persevere and continue to expect the best. Know that you must work hard and keep your chin up. Quit the gossip and negative self-talk, and the rewards will be yours and they will be plenty.
Lessons:
- You will meet yourself at your expectations. The greater your expectations, the greater your accomplishments will be. Don't be afraid to think big. It works for the Donald and it can work for you.
- Eliminate the negative: negative talk, negative thoughts, negative expectations. Get rid of them because they are a cancer on your future and an obstacle between you and your better self.
Declarations:
- Day by day in every way, I am getting better and better.
- I expect great things and my life and I will get them.
Keep the faith. God bless you. Make it your best day yet.
-Adolfo
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Think about it: If someone says, "I want to be a millionaire, but I know I'm going to lose my job, go broke, and end up on food stamps." Which is more likely to happen?
If someone says, "I want to be a millionaire, and I know doors are opening up to make that happen," they're more likely to achieve their seven-figure dream.
Why? Because you will meet yourself at your expectations. If you expect good things to happen, they will. If you expect disaster, make sure your insurance is paid up. Donald Trump said, "If you're going to be thinking anyway, you may as well Think BIG." And he knows all about the power of thinking big. How else could someone with that hair be that successful?
Change your thinking today. Cancel the bad, negative, self-defeating thoughts. Don't just wish for good things, expect them. And remember, this is like exercise; you won't lose 20 pounds in ten days of going to the Y, so don't be disappointed if it takes a while before the rewards show up. Persevere and continue to expect the best. Know that you must work hard and keep your chin up. Quit the gossip and negative self-talk, and the rewards will be yours and they will be plenty.
Lessons:
- You will meet yourself at your expectations. The greater your expectations, the greater your accomplishments will be. Don't be afraid to think big. It works for the Donald and it can work for you.
- Eliminate the negative: negative talk, negative thoughts, negative expectations. Get rid of them because they are a cancer on your future and an obstacle between you and your better self.
Declarations:
- Day by day in every way, I am getting better and better.
- I expect great things and my life and I will get them.
Keep the faith. God bless you. Make it your best day yet.
-Adolfo
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Monday, September 6, 2010
Day # 102 - Books
A City in South Florida recently built a library. Beautiful structure. Only one thing. No one remembered to order books. Part of me thinks it's okay. Most people go to the library to go on the Internet anyway. When I was preparing to take my Series 7 exam, I would ride my bike to the library, carrying all my study materials in my backpack (green JanSport backpack - lasted me ten years and someone who shall remain nameless borrowed it, never to be seen again - I miss that bag!) I chose to go to the library because there were to many pitfalls at home (TV, refrigerator, bed, etc.) Last week, I wrote about how being in a room full of strangers motivated me to keep going during spin class. Being in public while studying kept me from slacking. No one needed to know what I was doing, but I would never allow anyone to see me slacking.
Sometimes, when I need to get away, I'll get out of my office for a while and wander through a bookstore. Sometimes I'll buy something, but often, it's just a comfort to be surrounded by so much wisdom and discipline. (I've written five novels and six screenplays - it takes massive amounts of discipline even to write a lousy book! And don't even get me started on editing!)
I have two nightstands next to my bed. There are about thirty books on them, plus another dozen inside the drawers. I also have pens, high-lighters, and notebooks. There is a bookshelf in my room that holds about two hundred books, and close to 1,000 magazines. Did I mention the stack of magazines on the floor? (I've got to do something with those, I know.) I have two bookshelves in the living room holding at least a thousand more books. And then there are a couple of dozen on my desk and a few hundred in the cabinets in the garage. My kids have at least 500 books in their room, plus more at their grandparents' house. A couple of months ago, I gave a few boxes of books (mostly novels & literature) to Goodwill.
Why? Because I find comfort in this. I like having Ernest Hemingway, William Shakespeare, and Emily Dickinson in my house. I even like having Stephen King around if you can believe that! Since I never went to college, I have had to teach myself anything I wanted to know. Tom Hopkins taught me to sell (or how not to in some cases), Herb Cohen taught me to negotiate, Napoleon Hill taught me how to Think and Grow Rich, Joel Osteen taught me how to stretch my faith, and Tom Clancy taught me how to build a submarine. You never know when the need will arise.
I can't live without books. I wouldn't want to. When was the last time you read a book? Was it good? What did you get from it? Let me know. I'm always looking for my next bedtime story.
God bless you. Make today your best day yet.
- Adolfo
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Sometimes, when I need to get away, I'll get out of my office for a while and wander through a bookstore. Sometimes I'll buy something, but often, it's just a comfort to be surrounded by so much wisdom and discipline. (I've written five novels and six screenplays - it takes massive amounts of discipline even to write a lousy book! And don't even get me started on editing!)
I have two nightstands next to my bed. There are about thirty books on them, plus another dozen inside the drawers. I also have pens, high-lighters, and notebooks. There is a bookshelf in my room that holds about two hundred books, and close to 1,000 magazines. Did I mention the stack of magazines on the floor? (I've got to do something with those, I know.) I have two bookshelves in the living room holding at least a thousand more books. And then there are a couple of dozen on my desk and a few hundred in the cabinets in the garage. My kids have at least 500 books in their room, plus more at their grandparents' house. A couple of months ago, I gave a few boxes of books (mostly novels & literature) to Goodwill.
Why? Because I find comfort in this. I like having Ernest Hemingway, William Shakespeare, and Emily Dickinson in my house. I even like having Stephen King around if you can believe that! Since I never went to college, I have had to teach myself anything I wanted to know. Tom Hopkins taught me to sell (or how not to in some cases), Herb Cohen taught me to negotiate, Napoleon Hill taught me how to Think and Grow Rich, Joel Osteen taught me how to stretch my faith, and Tom Clancy taught me how to build a submarine. You never know when the need will arise.
I can't live without books. I wouldn't want to. When was the last time you read a book? Was it good? What did you get from it? Let me know. I'm always looking for my next bedtime story.
God bless you. Make today your best day yet.
- Adolfo
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Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Day # 96 - Never never never quit
Winston Churchill was known for his oratory. He gave amazing speeches that inspired a nation to rise up against Nazism and defend herself. His words managed to keep the English people fighting and hoping when everything around them had been reduced to rubble.
One day, when he was no longer Prime Minister, he was called upon to give a commencement speech at a university. Everyone was nervous with anticipation. He stood, looked out over the crowd, and said four words: "Never, never, never quit."
And then he sat down. Initially, some of the students felt they were short-changed, but their professors helped them understand that they had just received the most important lesson of their lives.
It's easy to let the setbacks become failures. It's easy to let the bad times get the better or you. It's easy to feel like your goals are a million miles away. The truth is, you never know how close you are and you are probably closer than you think. Of course, if you quit, you will never get there even if your goal was a day away.
Keep working, keep believing, set goals and reach them, make promises and keep them. Work until you can't work any more and then work some more. You are never as far as it seems. As Joel Osteen puts it: You're closer than you think.
God bless you. Make it your best day yet. And never never never quit.
- Adolfo
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One day, when he was no longer Prime Minister, he was called upon to give a commencement speech at a university. Everyone was nervous with anticipation. He stood, looked out over the crowd, and said four words: "Never, never, never quit."
And then he sat down. Initially, some of the students felt they were short-changed, but their professors helped them understand that they had just received the most important lesson of their lives.
It's easy to let the setbacks become failures. It's easy to let the bad times get the better or you. It's easy to feel like your goals are a million miles away. The truth is, you never know how close you are and you are probably closer than you think. Of course, if you quit, you will never get there even if your goal was a day away.
Keep working, keep believing, set goals and reach them, make promises and keep them. Work until you can't work any more and then work some more. You are never as far as it seems. As Joel Osteen puts it: You're closer than you think.
God bless you. Make it your best day yet. And never never never quit.
- Adolfo
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Sunday, August 29, 2010
Day # 94 - Spin Psycho
What a day yesterday. I started the morning with a spin class. I was determined to do it. In my case, it's always been a matter of finding the time more than the motivation, but I also believe there is always time to be found. We have to just shift our priorities. How much time do you spend watching TV? What are you getting out of it? How much time do you spend in traffic each day? What's on the radio? Often, you're just misusing your time. This is one of the lessons I have learned thus far.
Exercise as a metaphor for personal development?:
Aside from the instructor and myself, everyone in that spin class was a woman. Talk about motivation! I hadn't taken a spin class in about two years. I wasn't expecting to take anyone home or anything, but it's one of those guy things. Quitting sucks, it sucks more in front of a room full of girls. I looked around at some of the ladies as they walked in and they didn't seem to be in amazing physical condition, just average. A ways into the class, when none of them had stopped but my legs were burning and I was gasping a little for air and wanted to quit, looking at them kept me going.
By the way, if you're not familiar with spinning, it's what happens when you combine a stationary bicycle with a CIA secret torture prison.
Sometimes we are motivated by our desires: It was my desire to lose weight and improve my overall physical condition that got me into that class. And other timers we are motivated by external stimuli: There was no way I was going to rest, much less quit, in front of a room full of people - especially women.
I came home yesterday from spinning and was treated to four hours of hard labor. Last night, I went to work around 9:00 PM and worked until about 1:30AM. My back is killing me, my legs are sore, and I feel great. I did what I set out to do. I didn't quit and didn't slow down. That's how it's done.
Next spin class is on Wednesday. I'll let you know how it goes.
Remember: It doesn't really matter where your motivation comes from, as long as you don't ignore it. Use the motivation in your quest to become the best person you can be.
And spin psycho spin!
- Adolfo
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Exercise as a metaphor for personal development?:
Aside from the instructor and myself, everyone in that spin class was a woman. Talk about motivation! I hadn't taken a spin class in about two years. I wasn't expecting to take anyone home or anything, but it's one of those guy things. Quitting sucks, it sucks more in front of a room full of girls. I looked around at some of the ladies as they walked in and they didn't seem to be in amazing physical condition, just average. A ways into the class, when none of them had stopped but my legs were burning and I was gasping a little for air and wanted to quit, looking at them kept me going.
By the way, if you're not familiar with spinning, it's what happens when you combine a stationary bicycle with a CIA secret torture prison.
Sometimes we are motivated by our desires: It was my desire to lose weight and improve my overall physical condition that got me into that class. And other timers we are motivated by external stimuli: There was no way I was going to rest, much less quit, in front of a room full of people - especially women.
I came home yesterday from spinning and was treated to four hours of hard labor. Last night, I went to work around 9:00 PM and worked until about 1:30AM. My back is killing me, my legs are sore, and I feel great. I did what I set out to do. I didn't quit and didn't slow down. That's how it's done.
Next spin class is on Wednesday. I'll let you know how it goes.
Remember: It doesn't really matter where your motivation comes from, as long as you don't ignore it. Use the motivation in your quest to become the best person you can be.
And spin psycho spin!
- Adolfo
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Saturday, August 28, 2010
Day # 93 - Q1 Results
I am a quarter of the way through A Year Without News. I can honestly say I have changed, improved. But as long as I'm being honest, I have to say I have a long way to go.
I have improved in the following ways:
- I gave up caffeine. I have been steadfast in this. I have proven to myself that I don't need it. If you think you need it you are wrong. I am still up every morning by five and I am still as energetic (fidgety) as ever. I have the same results without the addiction.
- I am more active. I went to the Y last week four times to swim laps. I know I have a long way to go. I promised myself that by the end of the year, I would be below 200 pounds. This morning, I will be at the Y taking a spin class.
- I am healthier. Because of the commitment to improve myself, I am eating better overall. Don't get me wrong, I am not going vegan. Animals taste good and God placed them on the planet for us to enjoy. However, I have reduced the salty McBurgers and other crap I used to eat daily. I understand that there is no sense improving my mind and keeping it in a rotten body.
- I am more patient. This has always been a challenge for me. Now, this doesn't mean I am any more willing to swallow nonsense. In fact, I think I am more likely to spit it right back at whomever is feeding it to me. But I am learning not to sweat the things I can't control. I am learning to ignore people who bring nothing but aggravation.
- My temper is more under control. I won't say completely under control because I still lose it now and then, but not as often and not in the extreme way I used to.
- I curse less than I used to. I am not completely rid of four-letter words, but *(#$$% ####*(*^^ give me a chance! I'm working on it!!!
- My focus is improving. I am still an ADD kid, but I'm getting better. Where was I going with this? Oh, well. You get the point.
So is it worth it? I will answer this question again at the end of the Year. I will probably answer it again at the end of each quarter. And I am sure that my answer will always be the same as it is today: Yes!
Find what's holding you back. Find the anchor hanging around your neck, and cut it away. Let go of the hurts of your past. Let go of negative people. Let go of destructive relationships. Let go of anger. Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Endeavour to live the life you have imagined.
- Adolfo
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I have improved in the following ways:
- I gave up caffeine. I have been steadfast in this. I have proven to myself that I don't need it. If you think you need it you are wrong. I am still up every morning by five and I am still as energetic (fidgety) as ever. I have the same results without the addiction.
- I am more active. I went to the Y last week four times to swim laps. I know I have a long way to go. I promised myself that by the end of the year, I would be below 200 pounds. This morning, I will be at the Y taking a spin class.
- I am healthier. Because of the commitment to improve myself, I am eating better overall. Don't get me wrong, I am not going vegan. Animals taste good and God placed them on the planet for us to enjoy. However, I have reduced the salty McBurgers and other crap I used to eat daily. I understand that there is no sense improving my mind and keeping it in a rotten body.
- I am more patient. This has always been a challenge for me. Now, this doesn't mean I am any more willing to swallow nonsense. In fact, I think I am more likely to spit it right back at whomever is feeding it to me. But I am learning not to sweat the things I can't control. I am learning to ignore people who bring nothing but aggravation.
- My temper is more under control. I won't say completely under control because I still lose it now and then, but not as often and not in the extreme way I used to.
- I curse less than I used to. I am not completely rid of four-letter words, but *(#$$% ####*(*^^ give me a chance! I'm working on it!!!
- My focus is improving. I am still an ADD kid, but I'm getting better. Where was I going with this? Oh, well. You get the point.
So is it worth it? I will answer this question again at the end of the Year. I will probably answer it again at the end of each quarter. And I am sure that my answer will always be the same as it is today: Yes!
Find what's holding you back. Find the anchor hanging around your neck, and cut it away. Let go of the hurts of your past. Let go of negative people. Let go of destructive relationships. Let go of anger. Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Endeavour to live the life you have imagined.
- Adolfo
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Friday, August 20, 2010
Day # 85 - Good night
Today will be my daughters' third day of school. In an hour we will will be hustling and bustling and getting breakfast and brushing a lot of hair and finding socks. Why is it always so hard to find socks? I mean, we buy them by the half-dozen and three days later... not a sock to be found within a thousand miles.
I always sit with them for a few minutes at bedtime to remind them to say their prayers and to think happy thoughts and dream big dreams for the following day. I didn't always do this. This is a recently learned behavior. I talk to them about things going on in my life and ask them to pray for me and for their mommy. They pray for their brothers and for the kids in Haiti. They pray for their classmates, even the ones they don't get along with, they pray for our country and our soldiers.
Whether you believe in God or not, the power of prayer is undeniable. There is no doubt left that positive thoughts, sent forth into the universe, will have a positive effect. It's been proven in medical studies, where groups of people have prayed for patients on the other side of the world without the knowledge of the patient. The person being prayed for had a faster rate of healing than the person not being prayed for. It's amusing that in such an illogical world, we dismiss this because it's not scientifically provable. That doesn't stop the global warming crowd.
Positive self-talk is an important ingredient in personal development and success. In fact, if you don't think well of yourself, you can never do your best. Prayer is the ultimate self-talk. When you pray, you are talking to your source, to the Creator of the universe. When you get Him on your side, you've got a top-notch corner man.
Each night, and throughout the day, I remind my children that they are great, that there are no limits on what they can accomplish. Last night, Melissa told me school is hard. I told her:
"School is not hard. A billion kids have done it. Imagine being the first person to jump out of an airplane. Imagine being the first person to fly in an airplane. Imagine being the President. Those things are hard, and you're smarter than any of the people who have done those things. You have more smarts in your little toe, than Einstein had in his whole brain."
If I had agreed with her, and told her that she was right, that school is hard, I would have given her an out. I would have failed as a father and as the leader of my family. This is why words must be chosen carefully and there is no such thing as exaggeration when it comes to praising your kids.
Today's Lesson:
- It's easier to praise than to criticize. Both are powerful. When you criticize your child, you are tying their hands and capping their potential. This is not to say you shouldn't scold or punish, but let the first and last words they hear every day be overwhelmingly positive.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better.
- I will build up my children and the people around me. I will never use my words to destroy.
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I always sit with them for a few minutes at bedtime to remind them to say their prayers and to think happy thoughts and dream big dreams for the following day. I didn't always do this. This is a recently learned behavior. I talk to them about things going on in my life and ask them to pray for me and for their mommy. They pray for their brothers and for the kids in Haiti. They pray for their classmates, even the ones they don't get along with, they pray for our country and our soldiers.
Whether you believe in God or not, the power of prayer is undeniable. There is no doubt left that positive thoughts, sent forth into the universe, will have a positive effect. It's been proven in medical studies, where groups of people have prayed for patients on the other side of the world without the knowledge of the patient. The person being prayed for had a faster rate of healing than the person not being prayed for. It's amusing that in such an illogical world, we dismiss this because it's not scientifically provable. That doesn't stop the global warming crowd.
Positive self-talk is an important ingredient in personal development and success. In fact, if you don't think well of yourself, you can never do your best. Prayer is the ultimate self-talk. When you pray, you are talking to your source, to the Creator of the universe. When you get Him on your side, you've got a top-notch corner man.
Each night, and throughout the day, I remind my children that they are great, that there are no limits on what they can accomplish. Last night, Melissa told me school is hard. I told her:
"School is not hard. A billion kids have done it. Imagine being the first person to jump out of an airplane. Imagine being the first person to fly in an airplane. Imagine being the President. Those things are hard, and you're smarter than any of the people who have done those things. You have more smarts in your little toe, than Einstein had in his whole brain."
If I had agreed with her, and told her that she was right, that school is hard, I would have given her an out. I would have failed as a father and as the leader of my family. This is why words must be chosen carefully and there is no such thing as exaggeration when it comes to praising your kids.
Today's Lesson:
- It's easier to praise than to criticize. Both are powerful. When you criticize your child, you are tying their hands and capping their potential. This is not to say you shouldn't scold or punish, but let the first and last words they hear every day be overwhelmingly positive.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better.
- I will build up my children and the people around me. I will never use my words to destroy.
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Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Day # 82 - What's in a name?
The sweetest sound you will ever hear is the sound of your own name. I guess that means the worst sound is the sound of someone getting your name wrong. When your name is Adolfo, it happens all the time. I'm not sure why. It's not complicated. Six letters, evenly split between vowels and consonants. I thinks it's a pretty nice name, actually.
But man, do people mess it up.
I woke up this morning unsure what I would write about. In fact, I had no idea. Then I checked my crackberry, and saw where someone responded to my generosity with, "Thanks, Alfredo." They dropped an "O" from my name and added "R" and "E" and completely changed the tone of the letter. The message was to thank me for a donation. Maybe I'm being hypersensitive, but the impact of the letter was lessened because the sender didn't take the four seconds required to get my name right. In fact, I don't remember anything else about the message.
Details will make the difference in anything you do. I know this mostly because I have never been a detail person. I know what this has cost me over the years. Perhaps it's because my name is somewhat unusual, but I have always been pretty good about proper pronunciation and spelling of names. As a sales guy, and knowing that it is the sweetest sound to its owner, it has always been a major point for me.
A month or two ago, I got a message on facebook from a website designer who started by screwing up my name: "Adolpho" I think, and then telling me my business website looks like it was designed in 1994. He didn't get the sale not only because of the name thing, but his ham-fisted approach was offensive. I designed the website myself and it has made me a lot of money over the years. He was wrong and insulting.
Whether you are in sales or just want to make more friends, make the effort to get people's name right and improve your communications skills. It's an easy investment in improving your career and your personal life.
Thought for today:
- As always, it's the seemingly little things that make all the difference in the world.
- If names aren't your strong suit. Learn some memory tricks, like repeating a person's name when you meet them and imagining them with someone else of the same name so you associate their name with the more familiar person. Little things. It's always the little things.
Remember: Day by day in every way I am getting better and better.
God bless you. Make it your best day yet.
- Adolfo
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But man, do people mess it up.
I woke up this morning unsure what I would write about. In fact, I had no idea. Then I checked my crackberry, and saw where someone responded to my generosity with, "Thanks, Alfredo." They dropped an "O" from my name and added "R" and "E" and completely changed the tone of the letter. The message was to thank me for a donation. Maybe I'm being hypersensitive, but the impact of the letter was lessened because the sender didn't take the four seconds required to get my name right. In fact, I don't remember anything else about the message.
Details will make the difference in anything you do. I know this mostly because I have never been a detail person. I know what this has cost me over the years. Perhaps it's because my name is somewhat unusual, but I have always been pretty good about proper pronunciation and spelling of names. As a sales guy, and knowing that it is the sweetest sound to its owner, it has always been a major point for me.
A month or two ago, I got a message on facebook from a website designer who started by screwing up my name: "Adolpho" I think, and then telling me my business website looks like it was designed in 1994. He didn't get the sale not only because of the name thing, but his ham-fisted approach was offensive. I designed the website myself and it has made me a lot of money over the years. He was wrong and insulting.
Whether you are in sales or just want to make more friends, make the effort to get people's name right and improve your communications skills. It's an easy investment in improving your career and your personal life.
Thought for today:
- As always, it's the seemingly little things that make all the difference in the world.
- If names aren't your strong suit. Learn some memory tricks, like repeating a person's name when you meet them and imagining them with someone else of the same name so you associate their name with the more familiar person. Little things. It's always the little things.
Remember: Day by day in every way I am getting better and better.
God bless you. Make it your best day yet.
- Adolfo
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Thursday, August 12, 2010
Day # 77 - Wasted Emotion
I have been contracted as a consultant. Someone has asked me to lead the negotiation to buy an existing business - one that is in trouble. I sat down with the owner of the business last night. It was the first date. Rule number one in a first date should be show respect and go slow. Unfortunately, we are working on a very limited time frame. We have about two weeks to get a very complicated deal done. I love this. Fun!
I initially sat down with the owner and the members of the group that want to buy the group. I made a tactical error by laying my cards out on the table first. I had some knowledge of the owner's situation, but still, I should have played my cards closer to the chest. The owner answered my questions, we chatted, and it seemed like I was stuck about ten feet shy of first base.
So I asked for a tour of the facility. I stayed real close to the owner, letting the others trail behind. We chatted and I nodded, showing my approval for all that had been accomplished.
Finally, I got the owner alone. Time for romance. She told me she was recently widowed. She told me how much money she lost. She told me about her immigrant background and her struggles and then started, on her own, to reveal things that she had been reluctant to reveal when the entire group was together. My plan worked. She told me everything I needed to know and essentially mapped out my strategy for me.
Now, there are two paths here. I can be a bastard and probably get the business for practically nothing. There is some risk here because a white knight can swoop in and rescue the business owner, leaving my group with nothing.
I don't want to do that because the risk outweighs the reward. I also see no point in trying to screw the owner. I want her to walk away believing she won. I also want my client to walk away believing he won. It is not impossible for everyone to win in a negotiation. In fact, it's preferable. We are beginning our due diligence and we'll see where we land. When I know, you'll know.
The woman's story is sad. No doubt about it. If I weren't trying to buy her business for someone at the best possible price, I would have choked up at all she's gone through. But emotion is a luxury I can't afford in this situation. All I am trying to accomplish is the most perfect deal possible: One in which my client is happy, and the seller doesn't feel like she got screwed with her pants on. Because her situation is so dire, she is within weeks of losing her entire investment. I could run out the clock on her and force her to make the deal I want, saving my client a ton of money. But I want good karma on this deal and every other deal I make. I also happen to know my client has money enough to make this fair. It's important to know what cards the other person is holding, but you also need to look at your own cards.
I've always referred to sympathy as a wasted emotion. If I feel bad for you, I will only end up hurting you. I will want to coddle you and baby you. I have a friend who has a son who is deaf. One day, we were talking about him and I said, "pobresito" which is Spanish for, "poor kid" (roughly.) Her eyes flashed with anger and she corrected me like a schoolteacher. She told me "poor kid, my a**! There's nothing wrong with my son." She probably wouldn't remember the conversation, but I will never forget it. She changed something in me.
Why do we always tell people to stop feeling sorry for themselves but never to stop feeling sorry for others? Empathy is a thing of beauty, to try to understand what a person is feeling is admirable and broadens our humanity. To feel sorry for them takes away their humanity.
I'll keep you posted on the deal.
- Adolfo
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I initially sat down with the owner and the members of the group that want to buy the group. I made a tactical error by laying my cards out on the table first. I had some knowledge of the owner's situation, but still, I should have played my cards closer to the chest. The owner answered my questions, we chatted, and it seemed like I was stuck about ten feet shy of first base.
So I asked for a tour of the facility. I stayed real close to the owner, letting the others trail behind. We chatted and I nodded, showing my approval for all that had been accomplished.
Finally, I got the owner alone. Time for romance. She told me she was recently widowed. She told me how much money she lost. She told me about her immigrant background and her struggles and then started, on her own, to reveal things that she had been reluctant to reveal when the entire group was together. My plan worked. She told me everything I needed to know and essentially mapped out my strategy for me.
Now, there are two paths here. I can be a bastard and probably get the business for practically nothing. There is some risk here because a white knight can swoop in and rescue the business owner, leaving my group with nothing.
I don't want to do that because the risk outweighs the reward. I also see no point in trying to screw the owner. I want her to walk away believing she won. I also want my client to walk away believing he won. It is not impossible for everyone to win in a negotiation. In fact, it's preferable. We are beginning our due diligence and we'll see where we land. When I know, you'll know.
The woman's story is sad. No doubt about it. If I weren't trying to buy her business for someone at the best possible price, I would have choked up at all she's gone through. But emotion is a luxury I can't afford in this situation. All I am trying to accomplish is the most perfect deal possible: One in which my client is happy, and the seller doesn't feel like she got screwed with her pants on. Because her situation is so dire, she is within weeks of losing her entire investment. I could run out the clock on her and force her to make the deal I want, saving my client a ton of money. But I want good karma on this deal and every other deal I make. I also happen to know my client has money enough to make this fair. It's important to know what cards the other person is holding, but you also need to look at your own cards.
I've always referred to sympathy as a wasted emotion. If I feel bad for you, I will only end up hurting you. I will want to coddle you and baby you. I have a friend who has a son who is deaf. One day, we were talking about him and I said, "pobresito" which is Spanish for, "poor kid" (roughly.) Her eyes flashed with anger and she corrected me like a schoolteacher. She told me "poor kid, my a**! There's nothing wrong with my son." She probably wouldn't remember the conversation, but I will never forget it. She changed something in me.
Why do we always tell people to stop feeling sorry for themselves but never to stop feeling sorry for others? Empathy is a thing of beauty, to try to understand what a person is feeling is admirable and broadens our humanity. To feel sorry for them takes away their humanity.
I'll keep you posted on the deal.
- Adolfo
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Monday, August 9, 2010
Day # 74 - Political Correctness: The not-so-silent killer (of dreams)
America is a country in decline. Has been for a while. Why? So many reasons, but the one that always sticks in my head is political correctness. Our society has developed this kind of neediness, this softness, that makes it very difficult for individuals to shine and when they do they are cast as the villain. Police work is now called profiling, so when the police are looking for terrorists, they have to strip-search grandma because we don't want anyone to feel bad. When a fire department in New England conducts tests to determine who gets a promotion and not enough minorities pass, the test is deemed racially biased and unfair. I didn't know saving lives was affected by race? By the way, I am a mixed-race individual, so put your righteous indignation where it belongs: in the toilet.
Schools are more concerned with self-esteem than education, which is probably the biggest destroyer of opportunity. If a kid doesn't know 2+2, teach him, don't give him a gold star for effort. In the real world there are no gold stars for efforts that result in failure, there are only two things: the opportunity to begin again and the labor pool outside of Home Depot.
Sports leagues that don't keep score are another major component of our decline. If you lose, you should feel bad, you should hate it. If it doesn't bother you, you are more likely to let it happen again. Look at anyone who is a winner at anything, be it sports, business, or life in general. Competitors win, people afraid of losing always lose. It is what it is.
Finally, we have a government and a media that is obsessed with your failure. Millionaires and executives are painted as evil. If a poor kid scrapes his way out of the projects, you never hear about it, unless he's an athlete. If a businessman cheats on his wife, or embezzles funds or commits fraud, you hear about it for weeks or even months. (Those of you in South Florida remember the endless coverage of Scott Rothstein - The Sun Sentinel dedicate a link on their website to the coverage. This is one of the reasons I quit the news.)
80% of millionaires in this country are self-made! That bears repeating: 80 per cent of millionaires in this country are self-made! Yet, the media and the president and congress would have you believe those people cheated you out of your money and that that's the only way to make it in America. How did Barack Obama make his millions? Did he lie, cheat, and steal? Millionaire and President before age fifty in one lifetime? No way! Well, yes way. I don't agree with the man's politics, but I admire his accomplishments. What I don't admire is that he is trying to block the rest of us from the same accomplishments.
It is up to us to love our country and to make it great. It owes us nothing more than the opportunity to make our own way in the world. If we fail, it is up to us to get up and try again. If we have helped others along the journey, than there may be someone there to help us, but even if no one is there, we need to get up and keep fighting. This is what separates a winner from a loser and this is what for 234 years has separated America from the rest of the world.
Today's Lessons:
- Political correctness is not good for anyone. It is a form of censorship and a destructive force in our society.
- Do not listen to the media. They would have you believe that minorities and women can't make it in the world without sports or Hollywood. This is nonsense. You can do anything you want to do if you are willing to work hard.
- Do not listen to politicians. These people for the most part are immune from the problems of real people. Governments keep growing while the economies that feed them are shrinking. How does that reflect the real world?
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better.
- I determine my level of success. Not the media, not the government.
- I do not need special treatment, quotas or political correctness to succeed. Everything I need to succeed is inside of me.
Get out there today and be your absolute best. Eleanor Roosevelt said: "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Block out the negatives. Look at the beautiful and unique person God made you and see what He saw. You can do anything you want to do if you are willing to stop making excuses, stop letting others make excuses for you, and do it!
Make it your best day yet. God bless you.
- Adolfo
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Schools are more concerned with self-esteem than education, which is probably the biggest destroyer of opportunity. If a kid doesn't know 2+2, teach him, don't give him a gold star for effort. In the real world there are no gold stars for efforts that result in failure, there are only two things: the opportunity to begin again and the labor pool outside of Home Depot.
Sports leagues that don't keep score are another major component of our decline. If you lose, you should feel bad, you should hate it. If it doesn't bother you, you are more likely to let it happen again. Look at anyone who is a winner at anything, be it sports, business, or life in general. Competitors win, people afraid of losing always lose. It is what it is.
Finally, we have a government and a media that is obsessed with your failure. Millionaires and executives are painted as evil. If a poor kid scrapes his way out of the projects, you never hear about it, unless he's an athlete. If a businessman cheats on his wife, or embezzles funds or commits fraud, you hear about it for weeks or even months. (Those of you in South Florida remember the endless coverage of Scott Rothstein - The Sun Sentinel dedicate a link on their website to the coverage. This is one of the reasons I quit the news.)
80% of millionaires in this country are self-made! That bears repeating: 80 per cent of millionaires in this country are self-made! Yet, the media and the president and congress would have you believe those people cheated you out of your money and that that's the only way to make it in America. How did Barack Obama make his millions? Did he lie, cheat, and steal? Millionaire and President before age fifty in one lifetime? No way! Well, yes way. I don't agree with the man's politics, but I admire his accomplishments. What I don't admire is that he is trying to block the rest of us from the same accomplishments.
It is up to us to love our country and to make it great. It owes us nothing more than the opportunity to make our own way in the world. If we fail, it is up to us to get up and try again. If we have helped others along the journey, than there may be someone there to help us, but even if no one is there, we need to get up and keep fighting. This is what separates a winner from a loser and this is what for 234 years has separated America from the rest of the world.
Today's Lessons:
- Political correctness is not good for anyone. It is a form of censorship and a destructive force in our society.
- Do not listen to the media. They would have you believe that minorities and women can't make it in the world without sports or Hollywood. This is nonsense. You can do anything you want to do if you are willing to work hard.
- Do not listen to politicians. These people for the most part are immune from the problems of real people. Governments keep growing while the economies that feed them are shrinking. How does that reflect the real world?
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better.
- I determine my level of success. Not the media, not the government.
- I do not need special treatment, quotas or political correctness to succeed. Everything I need to succeed is inside of me.
Get out there today and be your absolute best. Eleanor Roosevelt said: "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Block out the negatives. Look at the beautiful and unique person God made you and see what He saw. You can do anything you want to do if you are willing to stop making excuses, stop letting others make excuses for you, and do it!
Make it your best day yet. God bless you.
- Adolfo
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Friday, August 6, 2010
Day # 71 - Intimidation
I was reading David Falk's book, "The Bald Truth" yesterday and it reminded me of an experience I had about a year ago. David Falk was a sports super-agent, having represented greats such as Michael Jordan and Patrick Ewing. In the book, he wrote about being deposed and all the effort the opposing counsel put into trying to intimidate him. Falk was not intimidated because he had the truth on his side.
About a year ago, I received a summons to appear for an interrogation -oops- a deposition! It was in reference to a client of the bank I worked at. One of my elderly customers left her money to a friend / caretaker upon her death. The family, which I never met and never really seemed to care for this client, suddenly came out of the woodwork to get there piece of the pie. The friend / caretaker never complained, never said a word. She had been a true friend to my client, driving her around, feeding her, taking her to doctor's appointments, etc. The "family" wanted the money.
So I sit in this room with the lawyer, who looks like Joe Pesci in Casino minus most of the hair. He asks if I'd like something to drink. I ask how long this process will take. He looks puzzled. I inform him that I am not thirsty, but if we're going to be here a while, I'd like some water because all the talking will doubtless make me thirsty. The assistant brings me water. The questioning begins.
"Mr. Jimenez, what's your educational background?"
"How is that relevant?"
"I want to know?"
"But how is it relevant?" (I'm having fun with this schmuck, the truth is on my side.)
"I need to get an idea of your background to establish your qualifications as a banker?"
"But my employer already qualified me as a banker when they hired me."
He shoots me a look, "Will you please answer the question?"
"I am a high school dropout. I got me G.E.D. at age 24 and took a few college courses, but I never graduated."
At this point, the lawyer is salivating, he's already counting his money. He is so badly underestimating me that I feel bad for him. He thinks he's the cat, but he's the mouse, and I am toying with him. Why? Because people like him tend to rely too heavily on their title. He thinks I'm going to fear him because he's a lawyer. I couldn't care less.
I played the game with him for a short while that day. Often asking him to clarify his questions. We met a second time for a longer session and he was still as arrogant and I continued to manhandle him. Why? Because all he could see was the fact that I didn't have a college degree. He saw me as inferior. What a fool. I think of great men throughout history who don't have degrees:
Jesus Christ
Ernest Hemingway
Harry Truman
Karl Rove
Michael Dell
Bill Gates
Adolfo Jimenez
And the list goes on. I am not proud of not having a degree, but I press on, knowing education comes from life, school is where you get training.
I did not allow the little lawyer to intimidate me. I must have done a good job because I never heard from him again. He wanted to intimidate me into making his case for him. It didn't happen. No way. I had the truth on my side, the courage of my convictions, and the confidence that comes from knowing I am good at what I do.
Never allow yourself to be intimidated. Once you show fear, you are dead where you stand. When you are intimidated, you can be manipulated (rhyme unintentional, I promise.) And you lose your personality, you lose your confidence, your concentration. When we are in fear, we are effectively paralyzed. As Gordon Liddy said, "Defeat the fear of death, and you welcome the death of fear." Defeat the fear of anything and you welcome the death of fear.
Today's Lesson:
- Have the courage of your convictions.
- Fear is to be controlled. It's natural, but it's not healthy. Tame that beast.
- "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." - Eleanor Roosevelt.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better.
- Yea, though I walk through the Valley of the Shadow of Death, I shall fear no evil,for You are with me. - Psalm 23
- I fear nothing because I have the truth on my side.
Be bold, be brave, be confident, and never be intimidated. Remember the second best way to deal with a bully is by punching him in the mouth. The best way is by outsmarting him.
Make it a great day, your best yet. Fear nothing. God bless you.
-Adolfo
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About a year ago, I received a summons to appear for an interrogation -oops- a deposition! It was in reference to a client of the bank I worked at. One of my elderly customers left her money to a friend / caretaker upon her death. The family, which I never met and never really seemed to care for this client, suddenly came out of the woodwork to get there piece of the pie. The friend / caretaker never complained, never said a word. She had been a true friend to my client, driving her around, feeding her, taking her to doctor's appointments, etc. The "family" wanted the money.
So I sit in this room with the lawyer, who looks like Joe Pesci in Casino minus most of the hair. He asks if I'd like something to drink. I ask how long this process will take. He looks puzzled. I inform him that I am not thirsty, but if we're going to be here a while, I'd like some water because all the talking will doubtless make me thirsty. The assistant brings me water. The questioning begins.
"Mr. Jimenez, what's your educational background?"
"How is that relevant?"
"I want to know?"
"But how is it relevant?" (I'm having fun with this schmuck, the truth is on my side.)
"I need to get an idea of your background to establish your qualifications as a banker?"
"But my employer already qualified me as a banker when they hired me."
He shoots me a look, "Will you please answer the question?"
"I am a high school dropout. I got me G.E.D. at age 24 and took a few college courses, but I never graduated."
At this point, the lawyer is salivating, he's already counting his money. He is so badly underestimating me that I feel bad for him. He thinks he's the cat, but he's the mouse, and I am toying with him. Why? Because people like him tend to rely too heavily on their title. He thinks I'm going to fear him because he's a lawyer. I couldn't care less.
I played the game with him for a short while that day. Often asking him to clarify his questions. We met a second time for a longer session and he was still as arrogant and I continued to manhandle him. Why? Because all he could see was the fact that I didn't have a college degree. He saw me as inferior. What a fool. I think of great men throughout history who don't have degrees:
Jesus Christ
Ernest Hemingway
Harry Truman
Karl Rove
Michael Dell
Bill Gates
Adolfo Jimenez
And the list goes on. I am not proud of not having a degree, but I press on, knowing education comes from life, school is where you get training.
I did not allow the little lawyer to intimidate me. I must have done a good job because I never heard from him again. He wanted to intimidate me into making his case for him. It didn't happen. No way. I had the truth on my side, the courage of my convictions, and the confidence that comes from knowing I am good at what I do.
Never allow yourself to be intimidated. Once you show fear, you are dead where you stand. When you are intimidated, you can be manipulated (rhyme unintentional, I promise.) And you lose your personality, you lose your confidence, your concentration. When we are in fear, we are effectively paralyzed. As Gordon Liddy said, "Defeat the fear of death, and you welcome the death of fear." Defeat the fear of anything and you welcome the death of fear.
Today's Lesson:
- Have the courage of your convictions.
- Fear is to be controlled. It's natural, but it's not healthy. Tame that beast.
- "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." - Eleanor Roosevelt.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better.
- Yea, though I walk through the Valley of the Shadow of Death, I shall fear no evil,for You are with me. - Psalm 23
- I fear nothing because I have the truth on my side.
Be bold, be brave, be confident, and never be intimidated. Remember the second best way to deal with a bully is by punching him in the mouth. The best way is by outsmarting him.
Make it a great day, your best yet. Fear nothing. God bless you.
-Adolfo
Start building your Success Library!
Follow me on Twitter
Friend me on Facebook
Follow A Year Without News
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