Have you ever felt the urge or the desire to do something big, something out of the ordinary, and then stopped yourself because it didn't seem like the right time? I don't mean buying a sports car you can't afford or a $1,000 pair of shoes. I mean something of substance, something of importance.
Have you been thinking of starting a business or going back to school? Have you thought about switching careers and doing what you really love? Have you thought of quitting everything and backpacking across Europe, or the U.S.? How about training to run a marathon? Where does it itch?
I can tell you from my own experience that waiting for the right moment is no different than deciding not to do it at all. Why? Because the right moment will never arrive. The stars will never align just so. The right moment is the moment when inspiration strikes. Do not doubt your gut. Your gut is the voice of God whispering in your ear. If that still, small voice says it's time, then you'd better believe it's time. Don't fear failure. Don't fear rejection. The biggest failure is the failure to act. The biggest, and most painful, rejection is when we reject what the voice is telling us; when we put things off, waiting for another, better, moment.
Whatever it is that's been itching, scratch it. Do what you have to do in order to do what you want to do. All you have in the end are the memories. All you create will be left behind. Decide what that will be and then make it happen. You don't want to lay there at the end of your days, wishing you had done something. People who find themselves there will tell you there was never a right moment or a wrong one, but that every moment could have been the moment, if only they had chosen to make it so.
- Adolfo
Showing posts with label Do it. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Do it. Show all posts
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Day # 96 - Never never never quit
Winston Churchill was known for his oratory. He gave amazing speeches that inspired a nation to rise up against Nazism and defend herself. His words managed to keep the English people fighting and hoping when everything around them had been reduced to rubble.
One day, when he was no longer Prime Minister, he was called upon to give a commencement speech at a university. Everyone was nervous with anticipation. He stood, looked out over the crowd, and said four words: "Never, never, never quit."
And then he sat down. Initially, some of the students felt they were short-changed, but their professors helped them understand that they had just received the most important lesson of their lives.
It's easy to let the setbacks become failures. It's easy to let the bad times get the better or you. It's easy to feel like your goals are a million miles away. The truth is, you never know how close you are and you are probably closer than you think. Of course, if you quit, you will never get there even if your goal was a day away.
Keep working, keep believing, set goals and reach them, make promises and keep them. Work until you can't work any more and then work some more. You are never as far as it seems. As Joel Osteen puts it: You're closer than you think.
God bless you. Make it your best day yet. And never never never quit.
- Adolfo
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One day, when he was no longer Prime Minister, he was called upon to give a commencement speech at a university. Everyone was nervous with anticipation. He stood, looked out over the crowd, and said four words: "Never, never, never quit."
And then he sat down. Initially, some of the students felt they were short-changed, but their professors helped them understand that they had just received the most important lesson of their lives.
It's easy to let the setbacks become failures. It's easy to let the bad times get the better or you. It's easy to feel like your goals are a million miles away. The truth is, you never know how close you are and you are probably closer than you think. Of course, if you quit, you will never get there even if your goal was a day away.
Keep working, keep believing, set goals and reach them, make promises and keep them. Work until you can't work any more and then work some more. You are never as far as it seems. As Joel Osteen puts it: You're closer than you think.
God bless you. Make it your best day yet. And never never never quit.
- Adolfo
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Sunday, August 29, 2010
Day # 94 - Spin Psycho
What a day yesterday. I started the morning with a spin class. I was determined to do it. In my case, it's always been a matter of finding the time more than the motivation, but I also believe there is always time to be found. We have to just shift our priorities. How much time do you spend watching TV? What are you getting out of it? How much time do you spend in traffic each day? What's on the radio? Often, you're just misusing your time. This is one of the lessons I have learned thus far.
Exercise as a metaphor for personal development?:
Aside from the instructor and myself, everyone in that spin class was a woman. Talk about motivation! I hadn't taken a spin class in about two years. I wasn't expecting to take anyone home or anything, but it's one of those guy things. Quitting sucks, it sucks more in front of a room full of girls. I looked around at some of the ladies as they walked in and they didn't seem to be in amazing physical condition, just average. A ways into the class, when none of them had stopped but my legs were burning and I was gasping a little for air and wanted to quit, looking at them kept me going.
By the way, if you're not familiar with spinning, it's what happens when you combine a stationary bicycle with a CIA secret torture prison.
Sometimes we are motivated by our desires: It was my desire to lose weight and improve my overall physical condition that got me into that class. And other timers we are motivated by external stimuli: There was no way I was going to rest, much less quit, in front of a room full of people - especially women.
I came home yesterday from spinning and was treated to four hours of hard labor. Last night, I went to work around 9:00 PM and worked until about 1:30AM. My back is killing me, my legs are sore, and I feel great. I did what I set out to do. I didn't quit and didn't slow down. That's how it's done.
Next spin class is on Wednesday. I'll let you know how it goes.
Remember: It doesn't really matter where your motivation comes from, as long as you don't ignore it. Use the motivation in your quest to become the best person you can be.
And spin psycho spin!
- Adolfo
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Exercise as a metaphor for personal development?:
Aside from the instructor and myself, everyone in that spin class was a woman. Talk about motivation! I hadn't taken a spin class in about two years. I wasn't expecting to take anyone home or anything, but it's one of those guy things. Quitting sucks, it sucks more in front of a room full of girls. I looked around at some of the ladies as they walked in and they didn't seem to be in amazing physical condition, just average. A ways into the class, when none of them had stopped but my legs were burning and I was gasping a little for air and wanted to quit, looking at them kept me going.
By the way, if you're not familiar with spinning, it's what happens when you combine a stationary bicycle with a CIA secret torture prison.
Sometimes we are motivated by our desires: It was my desire to lose weight and improve my overall physical condition that got me into that class. And other timers we are motivated by external stimuli: There was no way I was going to rest, much less quit, in front of a room full of people - especially women.
I came home yesterday from spinning and was treated to four hours of hard labor. Last night, I went to work around 9:00 PM and worked until about 1:30AM. My back is killing me, my legs are sore, and I feel great. I did what I set out to do. I didn't quit and didn't slow down. That's how it's done.
Next spin class is on Wednesday. I'll let you know how it goes.
Remember: It doesn't really matter where your motivation comes from, as long as you don't ignore it. Use the motivation in your quest to become the best person you can be.
And spin psycho spin!
- Adolfo
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Monday, August 23, 2010
Day # 88 - A Little Friendly Competition
Back in June, I announced I would give up caffeine. I have. As you see, it hasn't affected me, because it's 5:29AM as I write this and I've been up for a while. My life has improved. More importantly, my children are pretty much at zero caffeine. We serve water with every meal in the house now. I also gave up fast food for the most part. There have been a couple of lapses, but I try to go with the best choices. Abby is also losing weight and changing her eating habits. In fact, she is at the YMCA pool right now. Tomorrow morning it's my turn for an early morning swim.
For ten years we have been one another's enabler. One of us would take our health seriously and the other wouldn't be interested or supportive. Now, we have made a game of it. Every morning we are on the Wii Fit Plus weighing ourselves, congratulating one another on our progress. We go walking, swimming, or bowling. We have eliminated junk food from the house. Abby is a great baker (it was the family business a few years back) and has been experimenting with new recipes, but most of it is out the door to our testers so we don't see it or we see very little of it. Small disciplines are adding up to big differences.
Of course, there is the trash talking. We challenge one another constantly. I keep reminding her that I am the superior athlete and she reminds me of her superior will power. We never hurt one another. We each have a vested interest in the other's success, so we're just having fun and keeping each other motivated.
It's hard to change your life without someone to be accountable to. I've tried it several times and failed. 88 days into this and I feel accountable to the readers of this blog. I feel accountable to my parents and mostly to my children, who deserve a healthy father. Mostly, though, I am accountable to myself. I owe it to myself to be my best. God has blessed me with two hands, two arms, two legs and feet, not too bad of a brain in my head. For me not to use everything I have to the best of my ability would be a sin. Sadly, it is a sin committed by millions and millions of people every day. Are you one of them? If so, I challenge you to make one little change. Maybe less TV, more exercise, giving up alcohol. Work a little harder. Save more money. For me, it started with giving up news and it is compounding daily. The same can happen to you. 277 days to go and who knows where I'll land!
Today's Lessons:
- We are all competitive to some degree (or should be) so make a competition out of your goals, even if it's the person you want to be competing against the person you used to be.
- Be accountable to someone. Whatever you're trying to accomplish, find a buddy. Join a Meetup group or get together with some friends or co-workers, and be the voice in each other's ear.
- Don't be afraid to engage in a little friendly smack talking. Always respectful, of course.
- Make a competition out of goals and then make a game of competition.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better.
- I am working toward my goals and I am focused.
- I am unstoppable.
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For ten years we have been one another's enabler. One of us would take our health seriously and the other wouldn't be interested or supportive. Now, we have made a game of it. Every morning we are on the Wii Fit Plus weighing ourselves, congratulating one another on our progress. We go walking, swimming, or bowling. We have eliminated junk food from the house. Abby is a great baker (it was the family business a few years back) and has been experimenting with new recipes, but most of it is out the door to our testers so we don't see it or we see very little of it. Small disciplines are adding up to big differences.
Of course, there is the trash talking. We challenge one another constantly. I keep reminding her that I am the superior athlete and she reminds me of her superior will power. We never hurt one another. We each have a vested interest in the other's success, so we're just having fun and keeping each other motivated.
It's hard to change your life without someone to be accountable to. I've tried it several times and failed. 88 days into this and I feel accountable to the readers of this blog. I feel accountable to my parents and mostly to my children, who deserve a healthy father. Mostly, though, I am accountable to myself. I owe it to myself to be my best. God has blessed me with two hands, two arms, two legs and feet, not too bad of a brain in my head. For me not to use everything I have to the best of my ability would be a sin. Sadly, it is a sin committed by millions and millions of people every day. Are you one of them? If so, I challenge you to make one little change. Maybe less TV, more exercise, giving up alcohol. Work a little harder. Save more money. For me, it started with giving up news and it is compounding daily. The same can happen to you. 277 days to go and who knows where I'll land!
Today's Lessons:
- We are all competitive to some degree (or should be) so make a competition out of your goals, even if it's the person you want to be competing against the person you used to be.
- Be accountable to someone. Whatever you're trying to accomplish, find a buddy. Join a Meetup group or get together with some friends or co-workers, and be the voice in each other's ear.
- Don't be afraid to engage in a little friendly smack talking. Always respectful, of course.
- Make a competition out of goals and then make a game of competition.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better.
- I am working toward my goals and I am focused.
- I am unstoppable.
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Friday, August 20, 2010
Day # 85 - Good night
Today will be my daughters' third day of school. In an hour we will will be hustling and bustling and getting breakfast and brushing a lot of hair and finding socks. Why is it always so hard to find socks? I mean, we buy them by the half-dozen and three days later... not a sock to be found within a thousand miles.
I always sit with them for a few minutes at bedtime to remind them to say their prayers and to think happy thoughts and dream big dreams for the following day. I didn't always do this. This is a recently learned behavior. I talk to them about things going on in my life and ask them to pray for me and for their mommy. They pray for their brothers and for the kids in Haiti. They pray for their classmates, even the ones they don't get along with, they pray for our country and our soldiers.
Whether you believe in God or not, the power of prayer is undeniable. There is no doubt left that positive thoughts, sent forth into the universe, will have a positive effect. It's been proven in medical studies, where groups of people have prayed for patients on the other side of the world without the knowledge of the patient. The person being prayed for had a faster rate of healing than the person not being prayed for. It's amusing that in such an illogical world, we dismiss this because it's not scientifically provable. That doesn't stop the global warming crowd.
Positive self-talk is an important ingredient in personal development and success. In fact, if you don't think well of yourself, you can never do your best. Prayer is the ultimate self-talk. When you pray, you are talking to your source, to the Creator of the universe. When you get Him on your side, you've got a top-notch corner man.
Each night, and throughout the day, I remind my children that they are great, that there are no limits on what they can accomplish. Last night, Melissa told me school is hard. I told her:
"School is not hard. A billion kids have done it. Imagine being the first person to jump out of an airplane. Imagine being the first person to fly in an airplane. Imagine being the President. Those things are hard, and you're smarter than any of the people who have done those things. You have more smarts in your little toe, than Einstein had in his whole brain."
If I had agreed with her, and told her that she was right, that school is hard, I would have given her an out. I would have failed as a father and as the leader of my family. This is why words must be chosen carefully and there is no such thing as exaggeration when it comes to praising your kids.
Today's Lesson:
- It's easier to praise than to criticize. Both are powerful. When you criticize your child, you are tying their hands and capping their potential. This is not to say you shouldn't scold or punish, but let the first and last words they hear every day be overwhelmingly positive.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better.
- I will build up my children and the people around me. I will never use my words to destroy.
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I always sit with them for a few minutes at bedtime to remind them to say their prayers and to think happy thoughts and dream big dreams for the following day. I didn't always do this. This is a recently learned behavior. I talk to them about things going on in my life and ask them to pray for me and for their mommy. They pray for their brothers and for the kids in Haiti. They pray for their classmates, even the ones they don't get along with, they pray for our country and our soldiers.
Whether you believe in God or not, the power of prayer is undeniable. There is no doubt left that positive thoughts, sent forth into the universe, will have a positive effect. It's been proven in medical studies, where groups of people have prayed for patients on the other side of the world without the knowledge of the patient. The person being prayed for had a faster rate of healing than the person not being prayed for. It's amusing that in such an illogical world, we dismiss this because it's not scientifically provable. That doesn't stop the global warming crowd.
Positive self-talk is an important ingredient in personal development and success. In fact, if you don't think well of yourself, you can never do your best. Prayer is the ultimate self-talk. When you pray, you are talking to your source, to the Creator of the universe. When you get Him on your side, you've got a top-notch corner man.
Each night, and throughout the day, I remind my children that they are great, that there are no limits on what they can accomplish. Last night, Melissa told me school is hard. I told her:
"School is not hard. A billion kids have done it. Imagine being the first person to jump out of an airplane. Imagine being the first person to fly in an airplane. Imagine being the President. Those things are hard, and you're smarter than any of the people who have done those things. You have more smarts in your little toe, than Einstein had in his whole brain."
If I had agreed with her, and told her that she was right, that school is hard, I would have given her an out. I would have failed as a father and as the leader of my family. This is why words must be chosen carefully and there is no such thing as exaggeration when it comes to praising your kids.
Today's Lesson:
- It's easier to praise than to criticize. Both are powerful. When you criticize your child, you are tying their hands and capping their potential. This is not to say you shouldn't scold or punish, but let the first and last words they hear every day be overwhelmingly positive.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better.
- I will build up my children and the people around me. I will never use my words to destroy.
Start building your Success Library!
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Thursday, July 22, 2010
Day # 57 - Perspective
I was sitting there and when I heard it, I knew it had to be an exaggeration. A figure of speech. No way he could be dead. We walked to where his room was to check. People were standing around the door, looking at one another. No one was saying much of anything. One person was already on the phone, presumably talking to 911.
I asked the first thing that came to mind: whether anyone had checked his pulse. No one had. I went inside to do it and there he was on the floor, face down, at peace. I couldn't bring myself to touch him, but I already knew why no one else had.
And in that moment, something in me changed.
It was my birthday, a day I call inventory day. I look back at the 365 days since my last birthday and I measure my progress. The improvement isn't always that impressive. But that moment, looking at this man, changed everything. That evening, as I sat there, having dinner, I couldn't stop the tears. I couldn't stop thinking about how some of us will have lives that will be celebrated, chronicled, and written about, while some of us barely register a blip. His name was Vincent. I barely knew him. It was the first time I have ever seen something like this. I can't speak for anyone else, but with me, he registered much more than a blip. Vincent was my catalyst. I found out he hadn't spoken to his father for over 35 years. Knowing that he never will makes me hurt all over. There is no tomorrow and we've spent all our yesterdays. All we have is the now. The here.
As bad as I felt for Vincent, my heart is breaking, shattering, for his father. Vincent has moved on but his father is left only with regret and the 35 year old memory of a son whom he will never see again. I'm left to wonder: how did it get to that? How do we let things get so out of hand. I think of my own son, my oldest boy Steven, and I see that it can happen. It doesn't matter who is right or wrong, all that matters is that today is all there is. Steven and I are so much alike that it seems we will never get along. We rarely talk without it breaking down into a fight. I can't change him, but I am changing me. I miss my boy and I want to be a bigger part of his life. I have added a new goal.
Last night, as I lay in bed, all I could think was that Vincent's death meant more than it seemed. How he died wasn't the point. The cause, the place, none of it mattered. That I happened to be there, that it happened on my birthday, that I went in there with the intention of taking his pulse and couldn't bring myself to touch him, that the casual attitude of some of the people around me offended me so deeply it nearly brought me to tears, that the tears finally found their way out; all this tells me it meant more than just something that may or may not make the news; something that may or may not matter to a world that is so big and moving so fast that human beings don't have the time to be human beings.
Vincent's life mattered. It matters. It matters to me. It has changed everything. A little bit of whatever good I do during my remaining time on this planet will belong to Vincent Clingerman. This is his legacy.
Today's Lessons:
- If you love someone, do not set them free. All that other stuff is nonsense.
- Tell the people you love how much they mean to you. Do it now. There is no later. Later is an abstraction.
- Make your life count. Use your life to improve the world. Start with yourself and let it grow.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better.
- I will make my life count.
- I will add value to my life by adding value to the lives of others.
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I asked the first thing that came to mind: whether anyone had checked his pulse. No one had. I went inside to do it and there he was on the floor, face down, at peace. I couldn't bring myself to touch him, but I already knew why no one else had.
And in that moment, something in me changed.
It was my birthday, a day I call inventory day. I look back at the 365 days since my last birthday and I measure my progress. The improvement isn't always that impressive. But that moment, looking at this man, changed everything. That evening, as I sat there, having dinner, I couldn't stop the tears. I couldn't stop thinking about how some of us will have lives that will be celebrated, chronicled, and written about, while some of us barely register a blip. His name was Vincent. I barely knew him. It was the first time I have ever seen something like this. I can't speak for anyone else, but with me, he registered much more than a blip. Vincent was my catalyst. I found out he hadn't spoken to his father for over 35 years. Knowing that he never will makes me hurt all over. There is no tomorrow and we've spent all our yesterdays. All we have is the now. The here.
As bad as I felt for Vincent, my heart is breaking, shattering, for his father. Vincent has moved on but his father is left only with regret and the 35 year old memory of a son whom he will never see again. I'm left to wonder: how did it get to that? How do we let things get so out of hand. I think of my own son, my oldest boy Steven, and I see that it can happen. It doesn't matter who is right or wrong, all that matters is that today is all there is. Steven and I are so much alike that it seems we will never get along. We rarely talk without it breaking down into a fight. I can't change him, but I am changing me. I miss my boy and I want to be a bigger part of his life. I have added a new goal.
Last night, as I lay in bed, all I could think was that Vincent's death meant more than it seemed. How he died wasn't the point. The cause, the place, none of it mattered. That I happened to be there, that it happened on my birthday, that I went in there with the intention of taking his pulse and couldn't bring myself to touch him, that the casual attitude of some of the people around me offended me so deeply it nearly brought me to tears, that the tears finally found their way out; all this tells me it meant more than just something that may or may not make the news; something that may or may not matter to a world that is so big and moving so fast that human beings don't have the time to be human beings.
Vincent's life mattered. It matters. It matters to me. It has changed everything. A little bit of whatever good I do during my remaining time on this planet will belong to Vincent Clingerman. This is his legacy.
Today's Lessons:
- If you love someone, do not set them free. All that other stuff is nonsense.
- Tell the people you love how much they mean to you. Do it now. There is no later. Later is an abstraction.
- Make your life count. Use your life to improve the world. Start with yourself and let it grow.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better.
- I will make my life count.
- I will add value to my life by adding value to the lives of others.
Start building your Success Library!
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Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Day # 55 - Contagion II
I am out of shape. Have been for a long time. It's not that I'm a slob. I'm not one of those people who can't walk up a flight of steps or throw a Frisbee without dropping to the ground; I'm just heavier than I should be. It's contagious, too. Of the six of us, (my wife, four kids, me) three of us are overweight. I have been preaching to my wife about this for the longest time and I have been an Oprah about it for years. (By Oprah, I mean I would gain and lose and regain weight constantly.) I always felt I needed Abby's support. I didn't want there to be soda or cookies in the house, but they would always find their way here.
*Funny thing about me. I will not go to the grocery store to buy these things, but if they are in my house, I devour them without mercy. I can tear through an entire box of cookies - or at least I used to. I have learned will power over the last 55 days and I get stronger every day.
So what began with me giving up caffeine led to me committing to losing 30 pounds by the end of my 365 days. I also decided to take the bull by the horns where my daughter is concerned, offering her incentives to drink less soda and drink more water. I also promised my wife that if certain items appeared in the house, specifically soft drinks, I would pour them down the sink. I proved my seriousness.
I didn't try to influence her, I just told her that I was determined and expected her support. A funny thing happened on the way to my goal. She started noticing the changes in me and teamed up with a co-worker who is very health conscious and now she's lecturing me the way I have lectured her for ten years.
Seeing how committed I was started something in her. Her co-worker was the catalyst. Now we are working on the same goal together. We went for a walk last night. Not a stroll, but a brisk walk. I was thrilled at her determination and I know this is the beginning of a lasting improvement to our lives.
For years, I didn't do what I knew I had to do because I wanted Abby to come with me. When I began this project, I decided to take this additional step on my own. I wasn't thinking about whether she would follow me or not. I just knew I had to do what I had to do. So I did it. And my actions were more effective than all the begging, pleading, reasoning and goading of the last decade.
Of course, we all know that leadership is something done by example. I want to make the best things happen for my family. This is the first step of many.
Today's Lessons:
- Don't talk about what you want others to do, show them what you want done.
- Leadership is more about action than words.
- "Do as I say, not as I do," is hypocrisy at its worst.
- When trying to convince someone of the benefits of a specific course of action, take the course yourself and let them follow at their own pace.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better
- I will always work at improving myself, knowing I am bringing the people I love along for the ride
- I am a leader of my business, my community and of my family.
I feel great this morning. Tonight will be another power walk or YMCA or the park. I think we finally got on the mountain. Now we have to climb it. Keep us in your prayers, you are in mine.
Make it your best day yet. God bless you.
-Adolfo
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*Funny thing about me. I will not go to the grocery store to buy these things, but if they are in my house, I devour them without mercy. I can tear through an entire box of cookies - or at least I used to. I have learned will power over the last 55 days and I get stronger every day.
So what began with me giving up caffeine led to me committing to losing 30 pounds by the end of my 365 days. I also decided to take the bull by the horns where my daughter is concerned, offering her incentives to drink less soda and drink more water. I also promised my wife that if certain items appeared in the house, specifically soft drinks, I would pour them down the sink. I proved my seriousness.
I didn't try to influence her, I just told her that I was determined and expected her support. A funny thing happened on the way to my goal. She started noticing the changes in me and teamed up with a co-worker who is very health conscious and now she's lecturing me the way I have lectured her for ten years.
Seeing how committed I was started something in her. Her co-worker was the catalyst. Now we are working on the same goal together. We went for a walk last night. Not a stroll, but a brisk walk. I was thrilled at her determination and I know this is the beginning of a lasting improvement to our lives.
For years, I didn't do what I knew I had to do because I wanted Abby to come with me. When I began this project, I decided to take this additional step on my own. I wasn't thinking about whether she would follow me or not. I just knew I had to do what I had to do. So I did it. And my actions were more effective than all the begging, pleading, reasoning and goading of the last decade.
Of course, we all know that leadership is something done by example. I want to make the best things happen for my family. This is the first step of many.
Today's Lessons:
- Don't talk about what you want others to do, show them what you want done.
- Leadership is more about action than words.
- "Do as I say, not as I do," is hypocrisy at its worst.
- When trying to convince someone of the benefits of a specific course of action, take the course yourself and let them follow at their own pace.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better
- I will always work at improving myself, knowing I am bringing the people I love along for the ride
- I am a leader of my business, my community and of my family.
I feel great this morning. Tonight will be another power walk or YMCA or the park. I think we finally got on the mountain. Now we have to climb it. Keep us in your prayers, you are in mine.
Make it your best day yet. God bless you.
-Adolfo
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Monday, July 19, 2010
Day # 53 - A little more
Jim Rohn once defined success as doing what the other guy won't do. It's true. We are all equal to a certain point. It's what we do beyond that point that determines whether we will succeed.
Success happens when you:
Work one more hour.
Run one more mile.
Fight one more round.
Make one more call.
Read one more book.
It's the little bit extra that makes the difference. It's the above and the beyond. It's the extra. The finish, the extra effort, are what define us. If you do not give extra effort, you are not going to be noticed, at least not in a positive way.
How many golf balls has Tiger Woods hit in front of TV cameras? I don't know the answer but I would bet it's just a fraction of what he's hit when no one was around. How may hours does a performer rehearse for each hour on stage? How many hours does an "A" student spend studying for a test that will probably be over in less than an hour? How much time does a "C" student spend studying? How about a "D" student?
Your results, your success or failure, are a direct result of how hard you are willing to work. If you feel like you aren't where you want to be, work a little harder, put in a little more effort. Spend a little more time preparing. Do a little more than you've ever done before. Do what the other guy won't do.
Today's Lessons:
- "The only thing that overcomes hard luck is hard work." - Harry Golden
- "Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all." - Sam Ewing
- "There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure." - Colin Powell
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better.
- I will succeed by doing more than I have ever done, and by doing more than is expected of me.
- I will work harder than my colleagues. I will not complain. I work hard and when my work is done, I will ask for more.
I am not telling you to be workaholic, but I am telling you that the road to success is long and hard and forty hours is not enough time to get there.
Make it your best day yet. God bless you.
- Adolfo
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Success happens when you:
Work one more hour.
Run one more mile.
Fight one more round.
Make one more call.
Read one more book.
It's the little bit extra that makes the difference. It's the above and the beyond. It's the extra. The finish, the extra effort, are what define us. If you do not give extra effort, you are not going to be noticed, at least not in a positive way.
How many golf balls has Tiger Woods hit in front of TV cameras? I don't know the answer but I would bet it's just a fraction of what he's hit when no one was around. How may hours does a performer rehearse for each hour on stage? How many hours does an "A" student spend studying for a test that will probably be over in less than an hour? How much time does a "C" student spend studying? How about a "D" student?
Your results, your success or failure, are a direct result of how hard you are willing to work. If you feel like you aren't where you want to be, work a little harder, put in a little more effort. Spend a little more time preparing. Do a little more than you've ever done before. Do what the other guy won't do.
Today's Lessons:
- "The only thing that overcomes hard luck is hard work." - Harry Golden
- "Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all." - Sam Ewing
- "There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure." - Colin Powell
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better.
- I will succeed by doing more than I have ever done, and by doing more than is expected of me.
- I will work harder than my colleagues. I will not complain. I work hard and when my work is done, I will ask for more.
I am not telling you to be workaholic, but I am telling you that the road to success is long and hard and forty hours is not enough time to get there.
Make it your best day yet. God bless you.
- Adolfo
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Monday, July 12, 2010
Day # 46 - Habits revisited
Monday and I am draggin' my behind. I don't really feel like writing but here I am. They say it takes 21 days to form a habit. I have done 21 days twice and I can tell you writing this blog - writing, period - has become a habit. I am reading more than ever before and it has become a habit for me like it used to be. I have always read, it's just that I'm back to reading like my life depends on it, which it does if you think about it.
I haven't had caffeine in 30 days. I don't miss it. I feel as energetic as ever, and I am sleeping better.
I am eating better. I decided to lose weight, but I knew a diet wasn't the way to go. As long as I was changing my life, I decided to change what I put into my body. I was at my father-in-law's church yesterday and after service we sat down to eat. There were cans of Coke all over the place and it was about 100 degrees in the shade. We ate typical latin food: steak, rice and beans, etc. A Coke would have been outstanding. I stuck to water. Sure, I knew the Coke would have tasted great, but I chose to stick to my plan. Even my dad, on several occasions, offered me a coke. Abby had one. The girls had one. I stuck to water. Not judging anyone, just made my choice and I plan to stick to it.
I slept like a baby last night, by the way.
I am reading a book, "The Billionaire's Vinegar," about the most expensive bottle of wine ever sold at auction. It was a 1787 Chateaux Lafitte which had belonged to Thomas Jefferson. Or had it. I am also continuing my education. I am averaging 2 - 3 hours per day. Less than I would like but more than I'm used to. My goal was 854 hours in 365 days. I am confident I will surpass the goal.
Lessons:
- Stick to your plans, peer pressure and temptation will always be a factor. Rise above.
- Don't judge others. We are all on our own journey.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better.
- I am in control of every aspect of my life.
- There is no habit I cannot break. Nothing is as strong as my will.
Keep it up. Stick to your guns. I know I will. And in 319 days, I will be a better man as a result. What habits are you struggling with? What are you doing about it?
Make today your best day yet! God bless you.
- Adolfo
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I haven't had caffeine in 30 days. I don't miss it. I feel as energetic as ever, and I am sleeping better.
I am eating better. I decided to lose weight, but I knew a diet wasn't the way to go. As long as I was changing my life, I decided to change what I put into my body. I was at my father-in-law's church yesterday and after service we sat down to eat. There were cans of Coke all over the place and it was about 100 degrees in the shade. We ate typical latin food: steak, rice and beans, etc. A Coke would have been outstanding. I stuck to water. Sure, I knew the Coke would have tasted great, but I chose to stick to my plan. Even my dad, on several occasions, offered me a coke. Abby had one. The girls had one. I stuck to water. Not judging anyone, just made my choice and I plan to stick to it.
I slept like a baby last night, by the way.
I am reading a book, "The Billionaire's Vinegar," about the most expensive bottle of wine ever sold at auction. It was a 1787 Chateaux Lafitte which had belonged to Thomas Jefferson. Or had it. I am also continuing my education. I am averaging 2 - 3 hours per day. Less than I would like but more than I'm used to. My goal was 854 hours in 365 days. I am confident I will surpass the goal.
Lessons:
- Stick to your plans, peer pressure and temptation will always be a factor. Rise above.
- Don't judge others. We are all on our own journey.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better.
- I am in control of every aspect of my life.
- There is no habit I cannot break. Nothing is as strong as my will.
Keep it up. Stick to your guns. I know I will. And in 319 days, I will be a better man as a result. What habits are you struggling with? What are you doing about it?
Make today your best day yet! God bless you.
- Adolfo
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Saturday, July 10, 2010
Day # 44 - Plans and lists
I slept for about ten hours. It usually takes me two days to get that much sleep. I want to go back to bed, but life won't wait for me so I am up.
Are you a planner? Do you plan out your day, your week, your month, your grocery shopping, your vacations, your finances? I've never been much of a planner. I was always more of a winger. I have become a list writer and that has made me more effective.
Many experts will tell you that at the end of each day you should take five minutes and write out a plan for the next day and at the end of the week you should do the same for the following week. I am not there yet. I am trying to get better about that, but I am also one of those who believe that a battle plan typically doesn't survive the first shot.
So I compromise. I make my to-do lists and I keep them front and center on my desk so that I cannot ignore them no matter how busy or distracted I may be. It's something most people do as a matter of course. For me, it's a major life change. One of the results is that my follow-up, which was often spotty, is improving. I am returning calls more quickly, I'm keeping track of the various balls I have in the air at any given time. I am better as a result and I'm just getting started.
I like listing things on paper. Writing helps me remember and my phone rings and beeps so often that I want to ignore it most of the time any way. (I said I want to, I didn't day I do.) Writing is reciting internally. It helps me to learn and helps put things in the proper place - mentally speaking
Find your system, perfect it, and stick to it. You'll see the difference.
Lessons:
- The Five P's: Proper Planning Prevents Poor Performance
- Amateurs remember, pros write it down
- Whatever you do, remember to KISS - Keep It Sweet & Simple.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better.
- I will plan the work and work the plan.
- I will map out my day, my week, and my life. This is how I will reach my goals.
Plan on doing it. List the reasons why. The reasons can be anything from improving your performance to making more money to controlling your schedule so you can spend more time with your family.
Make it your best day yet. God bless you.
- Adolfo
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Are you a planner? Do you plan out your day, your week, your month, your grocery shopping, your vacations, your finances? I've never been much of a planner. I was always more of a winger. I have become a list writer and that has made me more effective.
Many experts will tell you that at the end of each day you should take five minutes and write out a plan for the next day and at the end of the week you should do the same for the following week. I am not there yet. I am trying to get better about that, but I am also one of those who believe that a battle plan typically doesn't survive the first shot.
So I compromise. I make my to-do lists and I keep them front and center on my desk so that I cannot ignore them no matter how busy or distracted I may be. It's something most people do as a matter of course. For me, it's a major life change. One of the results is that my follow-up, which was often spotty, is improving. I am returning calls more quickly, I'm keeping track of the various balls I have in the air at any given time. I am better as a result and I'm just getting started.
I like listing things on paper. Writing helps me remember and my phone rings and beeps so often that I want to ignore it most of the time any way. (I said I want to, I didn't day I do.) Writing is reciting internally. It helps me to learn and helps put things in the proper place - mentally speaking
Find your system, perfect it, and stick to it. You'll see the difference.
Lessons:
- The Five P's: Proper Planning Prevents Poor Performance
- Amateurs remember, pros write it down
- Whatever you do, remember to KISS - Keep It Sweet & Simple.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better.
- I will plan the work and work the plan.
- I will map out my day, my week, and my life. This is how I will reach my goals.
Plan on doing it. List the reasons why. The reasons can be anything from improving your performance to making more money to controlling your schedule so you can spend more time with your family.
Make it your best day yet. God bless you.
- Adolfo
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Friday, July 9, 2010
Day # 43 - Don't stop
I am not in the mood to write. All things being equal, I would rather be asleep. But I made a commitment to write, and I will not miss a day...
I have had about three hours of sleep since I woke up before five on Thursday morning. It's been a rough, but successful two days. There were challenges and plenty of reasons to quit. I chose to stick it out, to allow my actions to speak. I am finally fully committed to the idea that failure is not an option. I decided that slowing down when you still have enough steam to go full speed is the exact same thing as giving up. Other people will never define me. I am a person of excellence. This is how I am forever defining myself.
It's easy to stop when the going gets tough. It's easy to give up, to quit. I know, I've done it over and over again in my life. In my old life, that is. Never again. My desire is renewed. My ambition is restored.
When I was a teenager, and all my friends were covering the walls of their rooms with pictures of muscle cars or pretty women, I plastered my walls with pictures of, and quotations from... wait for it... Donald Trump. I must have read "The Art of the Deal" ten times. I wanted it all and I knew I would have to work my butt off for it. That was the fun part.
But somewhere along the way, probably when I became a father, I left my dreams and ambitions behind. Maybe it's because I'm a little punchy, but it just occured to me how unfair that was to my children.
I plan to make it up to them.
Lessons:
- Don't Stop. Don't stop trying, learning, growing, improving.
- Commitment is not words, it is action.
- Find your ambition. Work it out, build it up, and set it free!
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better
- I am committed to getting the job done
- I will complete every task to the best of my abilities
I am tired and I want to go to sleep. I will soon.
Make it your best day ever. God bless you.
- Adolfo
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I have had about three hours of sleep since I woke up before five on Thursday morning. It's been a rough, but successful two days. There were challenges and plenty of reasons to quit. I chose to stick it out, to allow my actions to speak. I am finally fully committed to the idea that failure is not an option. I decided that slowing down when you still have enough steam to go full speed is the exact same thing as giving up. Other people will never define me. I am a person of excellence. This is how I am forever defining myself.
It's easy to stop when the going gets tough. It's easy to give up, to quit. I know, I've done it over and over again in my life. In my old life, that is. Never again. My desire is renewed. My ambition is restored.
When I was a teenager, and all my friends were covering the walls of their rooms with pictures of muscle cars or pretty women, I plastered my walls with pictures of, and quotations from... wait for it... Donald Trump. I must have read "The Art of the Deal" ten times. I wanted it all and I knew I would have to work my butt off for it. That was the fun part.
But somewhere along the way, probably when I became a father, I left my dreams and ambitions behind. Maybe it's because I'm a little punchy, but it just occured to me how unfair that was to my children.
I plan to make it up to them.
Lessons:
- Don't Stop. Don't stop trying, learning, growing, improving.
- Commitment is not words, it is action.
- Find your ambition. Work it out, build it up, and set it free!
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better
- I am committed to getting the job done
- I will complete every task to the best of my abilities
I am tired and I want to go to sleep. I will soon.
Make it your best day ever. God bless you.
- Adolfo
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Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Day # 41 - 324 days to go. Is it worth it?
The answer is YES. A million times yes. Last night, Abby and I sat in the office and we talked about the 40 day milestone. I asked her if she thought I was different and she told me that I am. She told me that I have not only changed, I have improved. I am calmer, more patient, better.
I never intended for this to be a self help column. I never really thought it would help other people, but some people tell me that reading my words has helped them. I am humbled and honored.
If you have issues (who doesn't?) that you want to deal with but you don't know where to start, the answer is to just do it. Take a moment and sit in silence. Review your day, your week, your year, and even your life. Look at where you have come up short and try to find the common denominator. It's not hard to do if you really want it. Is your life all it could be? Are you reaching your potential? If not, what's keeping you down?
For me, it was my inability to focus on positive things. I was a news junkie. News is a way of taking knowledge of all that is bad, depressing, and negative in the world and injecting it into your very soul. How can you be up when you O.D. on downers every morning?
So, I gave it up. I quit cold turkey. This has led to me also giving up caffeine and most (not all) junk food. It's what Darren Hardy calls "The Compound Effect." Little things mean everything and they add up to big improvements in your life. If you think the little things don't matter, think about the last time you were on a plane. If you could remove your entire seat (leaving you sitting on the floor) or a couple of the screws that hold the wing to the fuselage, which would you remove? The point is, you would be uncomfortable, but you would arrive safely. Of course if you prefer to be comfortable when you crash, be my guest. I want to touch down in a better place, even if it means a sore tush.
Lessons:
- Get out of your comfort zone. No one grows without pain.
- It's not easy. If it were, you would have done it years ago.
- Baby steps. This will not happen in a day. You must have patience. With patience, grass becomes milk.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better
- I will take the first step toward improving myself today.
- I know I can be the person I was meant to be. Today I start proving it.
Take the first step. Sit in the silence, away from noise, TV, the computer, the phone. Listen to your mind and nothing else. Look for the thread. What's holding you back. You may not find it on the first try. It may take days, but you will be planting the seeds of commitment when you sit and listen to your thoughts. And that will be the first step on your journey.
Make it your best day ever. God bless you.
- Adolfo
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I never intended for this to be a self help column. I never really thought it would help other people, but some people tell me that reading my words has helped them. I am humbled and honored.
If you have issues (who doesn't?) that you want to deal with but you don't know where to start, the answer is to just do it. Take a moment and sit in silence. Review your day, your week, your year, and even your life. Look at where you have come up short and try to find the common denominator. It's not hard to do if you really want it. Is your life all it could be? Are you reaching your potential? If not, what's keeping you down?
For me, it was my inability to focus on positive things. I was a news junkie. News is a way of taking knowledge of all that is bad, depressing, and negative in the world and injecting it into your very soul. How can you be up when you O.D. on downers every morning?
So, I gave it up. I quit cold turkey. This has led to me also giving up caffeine and most (not all) junk food. It's what Darren Hardy calls "The Compound Effect." Little things mean everything and they add up to big improvements in your life. If you think the little things don't matter, think about the last time you were on a plane. If you could remove your entire seat (leaving you sitting on the floor) or a couple of the screws that hold the wing to the fuselage, which would you remove? The point is, you would be uncomfortable, but you would arrive safely. Of course if you prefer to be comfortable when you crash, be my guest. I want to touch down in a better place, even if it means a sore tush.
Lessons:
- Get out of your comfort zone. No one grows without pain.
- It's not easy. If it were, you would have done it years ago.
- Baby steps. This will not happen in a day. You must have patience. With patience, grass becomes milk.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better
- I will take the first step toward improving myself today.
- I know I can be the person I was meant to be. Today I start proving it.
Take the first step. Sit in the silence, away from noise, TV, the computer, the phone. Listen to your mind and nothing else. Look for the thread. What's holding you back. You may not find it on the first try. It may take days, but you will be planting the seeds of commitment when you sit and listen to your thoughts. And that will be the first step on your journey.
Make it your best day ever. God bless you.
- Adolfo
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Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Day # 40 - 40 days and nights, discipline
By nature I am not a disciplined person. I am a hard worker. I am not afraid of a challenge. I have ambition. Just lacking discipline. It's why I don't work out as much as I should. It's why for so many years I thought my temper was uncontrollable and simply a part of my DNA like my eye color.
My parents loved me and did their best with my sister and me, but they didn't teach me discipline. My sister was always disciplined. She worked hard, did her homework, and got good grades with minimal supervision. I was the opposite: I required maximum security level supervision and still did poorly in school - in spite of my ability. I actually made a vice-principal cry once. She was so disappointed that a boy of my intelligence simply refused to live up to his potential.
I used to sit and wonder what I could have been had I had discipline. Now I recognize the futility of such exercises and I think about what I can become if I am disciplined from now on.
For forty days I have written about this experience and every day I learn a little something more about what it is I am really doing. God works in mysterious ways and what started as me giving up news has become about finding myself, rediscovering my ambitions, and learning to have focus and discipline.
Sometimes, if you stick to something that is good and productive, you will find more than you expected. I hoped to develop a more positive attitude. I never thought there was anything more to this. Forty days in I know I was only seeing half the picture. Maybe less than half.
Funny thing about Forty Days. When God wanted to renew the earth, it rained for forty days (and nights.) Jesus fasted for forty days. It took Moses forty days to receive the laws from God. Yesterday was my fortieth day and I can feel such a difference in my life, I know there must be something to it.
The cynics will roll their eyes. I am still a cynic or that thought would not have come to my mind. So let's call this the first forty days. But the truth is if you do not believe in a higher power, it's all meaningless anyway. Sure, life is beautiful but the thought that it ends when we close our eyes for the final time is depressing. There has to be more.
There's got to be just more to it than this
Oh, tell me why do we exist
I'd like to think that when I die
I get a chance, another try
Those are Iron Maiden lyrics. Yes, Iron Maiden, the heavy metal, devil-worshipping band from the 1980's. The lyrics are referring to reincarnation, which is something I don't mean to advocate, but if they believe there's something more, and someone like me, who is now their spiritual polar opposite (or trying to be) believes it, there must be something there.
The question of course, it what else is there?
That's for you to decide. The answer for me is Jesus Christ. But to get to that answer, to reach that conclusion, I must be disciplined. It's too easy to give into temptation. It's too easy to give up or take the easy way out. I don't want to be that person.
Lessons:
- It's never to late to become a disciplined person. Decide to do it and do it.
- 40 days was enough to flood the earth and prepare Jesus for ministry but it may not be enough for you.
- Discipline, like learning, is a daily thing. It never ends. If you want to be all you can be, you'd better get used to that fact.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better
- I am disciplined, focused, and committed to my goals
- My dedication makes me stronger, it makes me better, it brings me closer to God.
No one does it alone, and no one does it without discipline. When we look at the big picture, we realize that discipline is a small thing. Take that first step toward being the person you are meant to be.
Make it your best day ever. God bless you.
- Adolfo
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My parents loved me and did their best with my sister and me, but they didn't teach me discipline. My sister was always disciplined. She worked hard, did her homework, and got good grades with minimal supervision. I was the opposite: I required maximum security level supervision and still did poorly in school - in spite of my ability. I actually made a vice-principal cry once. She was so disappointed that a boy of my intelligence simply refused to live up to his potential.
I used to sit and wonder what I could have been had I had discipline. Now I recognize the futility of such exercises and I think about what I can become if I am disciplined from now on.
For forty days I have written about this experience and every day I learn a little something more about what it is I am really doing. God works in mysterious ways and what started as me giving up news has become about finding myself, rediscovering my ambitions, and learning to have focus and discipline.
Sometimes, if you stick to something that is good and productive, you will find more than you expected. I hoped to develop a more positive attitude. I never thought there was anything more to this. Forty days in I know I was only seeing half the picture. Maybe less than half.
Funny thing about Forty Days. When God wanted to renew the earth, it rained for forty days (and nights.) Jesus fasted for forty days. It took Moses forty days to receive the laws from God. Yesterday was my fortieth day and I can feel such a difference in my life, I know there must be something to it.
The cynics will roll their eyes. I am still a cynic or that thought would not have come to my mind. So let's call this the first forty days. But the truth is if you do not believe in a higher power, it's all meaningless anyway. Sure, life is beautiful but the thought that it ends when we close our eyes for the final time is depressing. There has to be more.
There's got to be just more to it than this
Oh, tell me why do we exist
I'd like to think that when I die
I get a chance, another try
Those are Iron Maiden lyrics. Yes, Iron Maiden, the heavy metal, devil-worshipping band from the 1980's. The lyrics are referring to reincarnation, which is something I don't mean to advocate, but if they believe there's something more, and someone like me, who is now their spiritual polar opposite (or trying to be) believes it, there must be something there.
The question of course, it what else is there?
That's for you to decide. The answer for me is Jesus Christ. But to get to that answer, to reach that conclusion, I must be disciplined. It's too easy to give into temptation. It's too easy to give up or take the easy way out. I don't want to be that person.
Lessons:
- It's never to late to become a disciplined person. Decide to do it and do it.
- 40 days was enough to flood the earth and prepare Jesus for ministry but it may not be enough for you.
- Discipline, like learning, is a daily thing. It never ends. If you want to be all you can be, you'd better get used to that fact.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better
- I am disciplined, focused, and committed to my goals
- My dedication makes me stronger, it makes me better, it brings me closer to God.
No one does it alone, and no one does it without discipline. When we look at the big picture, we realize that discipline is a small thing. Take that first step toward being the person you are meant to be.
Make it your best day ever. God bless you.
- Adolfo
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Saturday, June 26, 2010
Day # 30 - Where you stand determines where you'll land
Another great day. Except, I allowed myself to get caught up in gossip. It's not so much that I initiated or even participated in it, but I didn't distance myself from it. A willing accomplice and I am not proud of it. When you become a part of something like gossip, you are always hurting yourself and your universe. Again, you don't have to say anything to be affected by it. Think of it as second-hand smoke for the soul. You are absorbing the poisons and toxins that are leaving another person's lungs and making them part of your own. Only they are absorbed psychologically, not physiologically.
You've heard me say it before: Garbage in, garbage out. It applies to the food you eat, the air you breathe, and the words you hear. Listen to sad songs all day and you feel sad. Listen to upbeat music and your heart rate increases. Listen to people who are positive, you will be positive. Listen to people who aren't and... well, you get the point.
You are only as good as you want to be. You are as good as you allow yourself to be and a great deal of what determines this is what you hear, see, eat, drink, and associate with.
Show me who your friends are and I'll show you who you are.
Stand on principles. Whatever your principles are, they cannot be compromised. I am not saying they will never change, but once you decide what they are, they can never be compromised. If you are willing to trade those things closest to what makes you the person you are, then there is nothing you will not trade for a moment of comfort or to be accepted by whoever happens to be around at any given moment. Think bigger. Be an excellent person. Be a person of integrity. Anyone can be popular. My challenge to you is to be better.
I failed at this yesterday and I am learning from the experience but not dwelling on it. If you think I'm overreacting, take a look at yourself. Look at your friends. What do you talk about. WHO do you talk about. Did you ever gossip without looking around first? It doesn't matter where you are, you look over your shoulder first because you know you are doing wrong. You know the subject of your whispers would be hurt if they heard you, but you do it anyway.
But the good news is that there is a simple solution: STOP!
Lessons:
- Where you stand determines where you'll land
- Show me who your friends are and I'll show you who you are
- If you have to hide what you are saying, you probably shouldn't be saying it
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better
- I will avoid gossip and all negative talk
- I will never again be a hypocrite
- I will surround myself with positive people and I will be a positive person
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You've heard me say it before: Garbage in, garbage out. It applies to the food you eat, the air you breathe, and the words you hear. Listen to sad songs all day and you feel sad. Listen to upbeat music and your heart rate increases. Listen to people who are positive, you will be positive. Listen to people who aren't and... well, you get the point.
You are only as good as you want to be. You are as good as you allow yourself to be and a great deal of what determines this is what you hear, see, eat, drink, and associate with.
Show me who your friends are and I'll show you who you are.
Stand on principles. Whatever your principles are, they cannot be compromised. I am not saying they will never change, but once you decide what they are, they can never be compromised. If you are willing to trade those things closest to what makes you the person you are, then there is nothing you will not trade for a moment of comfort or to be accepted by whoever happens to be around at any given moment. Think bigger. Be an excellent person. Be a person of integrity. Anyone can be popular. My challenge to you is to be better.
I failed at this yesterday and I am learning from the experience but not dwelling on it. If you think I'm overreacting, take a look at yourself. Look at your friends. What do you talk about. WHO do you talk about. Did you ever gossip without looking around first? It doesn't matter where you are, you look over your shoulder first because you know you are doing wrong. You know the subject of your whispers would be hurt if they heard you, but you do it anyway.
But the good news is that there is a simple solution: STOP!
Lessons:
- Where you stand determines where you'll land
- Show me who your friends are and I'll show you who you are
- If you have to hide what you are saying, you probably shouldn't be saying it
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better
- I will avoid gossip and all negative talk
- I will never again be a hypocrite
- I will surround myself with positive people and I will be a positive person
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Friday, June 25, 2010
Day # 29 - It's all in the approach
No matter what you do in your life, from ordering lunch to asking that special person on a date. your approach will do more to determine the outcome than you know. By approach, I mean your mental state, your attitude, eye contact, posture, demeanor and body language.
- Mental State: Clear your mind, focus on the goal. Eyes on the prize. If you walk into a situation where making the right impression is important and your mind is elsewhere, you will not be able to perform. Be in the moment.
- Attitude: Be positive positive positive and positive, and always be confident. There's nothing else to be said about that.
- Eye contact: When you make good eye contact, it shows you are confident, sincere, and have nothing to hide. I don't mean you stare at a person's eyes like a boxer before a match, but don't fail to hold a glance. Your eyes say more than your mouth ever could.
- Demeanor: Be pleasant. Don't be a grouch or a slouch, and don't be a used car salesman. Listen more than you talk and when you talk, don't brag, don't whine, and don't complain.
- Body language: Remember when your mother would tell you to stand up straight? She was right. Do it.
Why am I telling you this? I am a believer in networking. I think it's a great way to grow your business and social life. But your approach has to be correct. I am not telling you to not be yourself. On the contrary, the less lies you tell, the less you have to remember. By all means, be yourself.
If you are ever in a room full of strangers and need to make friends, these bits of advice will help you. (More on that at another time.)
I am thinking about an event I recently attended where one of the attendees approached me about getting business from my company and the chamber of commerce. Their approach was to complain and point out that their competitor was getting more business than they were. This person pointed out that there were people who didn't treat them nice or say hello. I wasn't feeling very well and so couldn't bring out the correct words of advice - so I am writing them.
It wasn't bad enough that I was told all this, the person went and repeated the same story to other chamber members. You want a bad reputation? Whine. Repeat. I would never betray this person's confidence, but not everyone is like me.
The approach is never to complain. If you feel you're not getting your fair share, analyze the situation and figure out why. 99% of the time, the problem is you. There is no conspiracy. You're clueless or you're not working hard enough. End of story.
Lessons:
- It's all in the approach.
- Analyze your situation. Find the problem and solve it.
- Work harder and smarter.
- Quit complaining.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better.
- Today I will change my approach to life.
- I will be a worker, not a complainer.
- I will analyze situations to find the problems and fix them.
With the right attitude, everything gets better and easier. Change the way you look at things, and the things you look at will change. This is true. I can testify to that. Some day I will. When the words are right.
Make it your best day yet. God bless you.
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- Mental State: Clear your mind, focus on the goal. Eyes on the prize. If you walk into a situation where making the right impression is important and your mind is elsewhere, you will not be able to perform. Be in the moment.
- Attitude: Be positive positive positive and positive, and always be confident. There's nothing else to be said about that.
- Eye contact: When you make good eye contact, it shows you are confident, sincere, and have nothing to hide. I don't mean you stare at a person's eyes like a boxer before a match, but don't fail to hold a glance. Your eyes say more than your mouth ever could.
- Demeanor: Be pleasant. Don't be a grouch or a slouch, and don't be a used car salesman. Listen more than you talk and when you talk, don't brag, don't whine, and don't complain.
- Body language: Remember when your mother would tell you to stand up straight? She was right. Do it.
Why am I telling you this? I am a believer in networking. I think it's a great way to grow your business and social life. But your approach has to be correct. I am not telling you to not be yourself. On the contrary, the less lies you tell, the less you have to remember. By all means, be yourself.
If you are ever in a room full of strangers and need to make friends, these bits of advice will help you. (More on that at another time.)
I am thinking about an event I recently attended where one of the attendees approached me about getting business from my company and the chamber of commerce. Their approach was to complain and point out that their competitor was getting more business than they were. This person pointed out that there were people who didn't treat them nice or say hello. I wasn't feeling very well and so couldn't bring out the correct words of advice - so I am writing them.
It wasn't bad enough that I was told all this, the person went and repeated the same story to other chamber members. You want a bad reputation? Whine. Repeat. I would never betray this person's confidence, but not everyone is like me.
The approach is never to complain. If you feel you're not getting your fair share, analyze the situation and figure out why. 99% of the time, the problem is you. There is no conspiracy. You're clueless or you're not working hard enough. End of story.
Lessons:
- It's all in the approach.
- Analyze your situation. Find the problem and solve it.
- Work harder and smarter.
- Quit complaining.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better.
- Today I will change my approach to life.
- I will be a worker, not a complainer.
- I will analyze situations to find the problems and fix them.
With the right attitude, everything gets better and easier. Change the way you look at things, and the things you look at will change. This is true. I can testify to that. Some day I will. When the words are right.
Make it your best day yet. God bless you.
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Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Day # 28 - It's a marathon. Not a sprint.
I have never been a patient person. I was always short-tempered, fidgety, it's just my nature. I have no patience. Well, I do now. I am learning it, but it's a long-time habit that won't be broken completely in a mere 28 days. I have been working on improving my patience for a long time and I'm learning tricks. I would like to share them with you.
1. Let it go. Recognize that you can't make everything happen at the speed you want it to happen. Impatience is about not accepting that things are out of your control.
2. Find a distraction. If all you focus on is whatever is causing the impatience, it will only seem worse. For example, if I am ever going any place where I know I'll have to wait, I bring a book. Sure, I could play solitaire on my phone, but that seems like a waste of time.
3. Give yourself time. If you tend to run into traffic every morning, and it causes you stress because you're nervous about being late, give yourself a little time. Listen to a book on CD, use the time wisely. I also find tuning in to classical music helps me. Classical music feeds your imagination in a way that contemporary music just can't.
There are more, but these are the three biggies that pop into mind.
I've been thinking all day about Steve Prefontaine. Prefontaine was a runner who died in the 1970's. He is widely considered to be one of the best runners ever, having won 120 races. I watched a film of his life a couple of years ago and until then I thought running was simply a matter of who was fastest and had the greater endurance. I never would have guessed there was strategy beyond left foot, right foot, repeat.
The truth is there is a lot of strategy that goes into something as simple as a race. There is pacing, there is a time to draft, a time to attack. You need to know what your opponent is doing and what he's capable of. All while pounding the pavement while your lungs overflow with battery acid. For me, a walk to the mailbox is enough to get my lungs aching, but I'm no Prefontaine.
I am impatient. I know that I have a long way to go before my year is up and even longer to be the man I wish to be. My goals are a million miles away and while I am traveling at high speed and have plenty of fuel for the journey, I am becoming bored and my impatience, my ridiculous impatience, is rearing its ugly head.
I know this is a test. I know that this is another withdrawal symptom. I know this is not failure or even a stumbling block. It's part of the detoxification of my character. It's a part of the cleansing of my mind, body, and soul.
Knowing it's a test is no guarantee that I will pass. I know I am vulnerable. I have taken on a lot. In the midst of this experiment, I decided to give up caffeine. It's been 12 days since I've had it and I feel more energized than ever before. In fact, here I am, wide awake. I have not had any fast food in as many days and neither have my children. I am committed to their health and well-being, too. Although, I know they get soda pop at grandma's house. Yeah, I called it soda pop. So what? But in my house, and in my presence, it's water, milk, juice. In that order. We are all feeling better, thank you very much.
So, like a runner, a fat runner with bad knees, I am trudging along. I am tempted to stop and rest, to take a break. No one's watching. No one will ever know, right? Wrong. God knows. I know. This is bigger than one day. This is bigger than one year. This is about all the years that will follow this one. This is about whether the rest of my life will be something of value or just another life.
Lessons:
- It's a marathon. Not a sprint. Plan out the run. Pace yourself.
- There will always be tests. Keep your pencil sharpened and eat a healthy breakfast.
- It's not about the bad. It's about the good. Become a hunter of silver linings.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better.
- I will be patient.
- I will pace myself.
- I will do the right thing because it is the right thing.
Remember, with patience grass becomes milk.
Make it your best day ever. God bless you.
- Adolfo
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1. Let it go. Recognize that you can't make everything happen at the speed you want it to happen. Impatience is about not accepting that things are out of your control.
2. Find a distraction. If all you focus on is whatever is causing the impatience, it will only seem worse. For example, if I am ever going any place where I know I'll have to wait, I bring a book. Sure, I could play solitaire on my phone, but that seems like a waste of time.
3. Give yourself time. If you tend to run into traffic every morning, and it causes you stress because you're nervous about being late, give yourself a little time. Listen to a book on CD, use the time wisely. I also find tuning in to classical music helps me. Classical music feeds your imagination in a way that contemporary music just can't.
There are more, but these are the three biggies that pop into mind.
I've been thinking all day about Steve Prefontaine. Prefontaine was a runner who died in the 1970's. He is widely considered to be one of the best runners ever, having won 120 races. I watched a film of his life a couple of years ago and until then I thought running was simply a matter of who was fastest and had the greater endurance. I never would have guessed there was strategy beyond left foot, right foot, repeat.
The truth is there is a lot of strategy that goes into something as simple as a race. There is pacing, there is a time to draft, a time to attack. You need to know what your opponent is doing and what he's capable of. All while pounding the pavement while your lungs overflow with battery acid. For me, a walk to the mailbox is enough to get my lungs aching, but I'm no Prefontaine.
I am impatient. I know that I have a long way to go before my year is up and even longer to be the man I wish to be. My goals are a million miles away and while I am traveling at high speed and have plenty of fuel for the journey, I am becoming bored and my impatience, my ridiculous impatience, is rearing its ugly head.
I know this is a test. I know that this is another withdrawal symptom. I know this is not failure or even a stumbling block. It's part of the detoxification of my character. It's a part of the cleansing of my mind, body, and soul.
Knowing it's a test is no guarantee that I will pass. I know I am vulnerable. I have taken on a lot. In the midst of this experiment, I decided to give up caffeine. It's been 12 days since I've had it and I feel more energized than ever before. In fact, here I am, wide awake. I have not had any fast food in as many days and neither have my children. I am committed to their health and well-being, too. Although, I know they get soda pop at grandma's house. Yeah, I called it soda pop. So what? But in my house, and in my presence, it's water, milk, juice. In that order. We are all feeling better, thank you very much.
So, like a runner, a fat runner with bad knees, I am trudging along. I am tempted to stop and rest, to take a break. No one's watching. No one will ever know, right? Wrong. God knows. I know. This is bigger than one day. This is bigger than one year. This is about all the years that will follow this one. This is about whether the rest of my life will be something of value or just another life.
Lessons:
- It's a marathon. Not a sprint. Plan out the run. Pace yourself.
- There will always be tests. Keep your pencil sharpened and eat a healthy breakfast.
- It's not about the bad. It's about the good. Become a hunter of silver linings.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better.
- I will be patient.
- I will pace myself.
- I will do the right thing because it is the right thing.
Remember, with patience grass becomes milk.
Make it your best day ever. God bless you.
- Adolfo
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Day # 27 - Stand your ground
Note: Everything write about is inspired by situations I am encountering in my life. These situations are not unique or particularly difficult. In many cases they are everyday situations that we all experience. The difference is in how I react and handle them. Or rather, the difference is in how I don't react.
I am not a pacifist. I believe we live in a world where the best way to preserve peace is by preparing for war. Could you imagine what this world would be like if the United States didn't have most powerful war machine ever to walk the earth? 9/11 would be a daily occurrence. Who knows what language we'd be speaking? The best defense truly is a good offense.
All my life I was very black and white when it came to confrontations. I would either avoid them completely or come down on my adversary with the fury of hell. I think part of the reason I avoided them is beacuse never could control my response. Better to wimp out than freak out, I guess.
Now, I know Christ taught us to turn the other cheek but I'm not sure I'm ready for that. I may never be, though it is a noble goal to become that way. I will say if someone like me can change, anyone can.
Be thoughtful in your responses and firm when stating your positions. Look the person in the eye. Maintain a level tone of voice. Stand or sit up straight (you should do this anyway) to show you are confident and sure of your argument. Focus on the other person, and smile when you feel like pouncing. The simple act of smiling, even if initially forced, will send a calming signal through your body and to your brain. It will literally change your attitude. It can also throw your opponent off his game. Relax your forehead and your shoulders. Don't cross your arms tightly or wring your hands. Stay relaxed so your eyes remain serene in their appearance. All of these actions will have the effect of making you feel the way you are acting.
It's a fool-proof way of being the bigger person without being a wimp.
My government saga from Monday isn't over after all. I need to speak to one of the bureacrats to resolve one last issue. I've called her twice (once per day) with no response. I will call her again today, and if necessary I will call her again tomorrow. If this doesn't work, I will call her at least twice on Friday. I will increase the number of calls per day until my issue is resolved or I am arrested for stalking, but I will be kind and gentle throughout.
Maybe it's because I am a libertarian, but I have always been hostile when it comes to dealing with the government. I have seen too much corruption and sloth and waste. These things offend me. While I will be persistent in my attempts to contact this lady, I will be polite, never threatening or rude. I represent almighty God, and as His ambassador, I must be on my best behavior at all times. I'll let you know how that goes.
Lessons:
- Be confident. Never walk into a situation without preparing for it as best you can.
- Leave emotion out of it. Bullies are angry. Wimps are frightened. Both suck.
- Relax. Everything comes out better when you are relaxed.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better
- Today I will learn to confront my adversaries and kill them with kindness
- I will always be persistent in pursuit of my goals
Keep your eyes on the prize. Keep the right attitude. Stand your ground. The world is waiting for you, all you have to do is have the confidence to go out and stake your claim.
Make it your best day ever. God bless you.
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I am not a pacifist. I believe we live in a world where the best way to preserve peace is by preparing for war. Could you imagine what this world would be like if the United States didn't have most powerful war machine ever to walk the earth? 9/11 would be a daily occurrence. Who knows what language we'd be speaking? The best defense truly is a good offense.
All my life I was very black and white when it came to confrontations. I would either avoid them completely or come down on my adversary with the fury of hell. I think part of the reason I avoided them is beacuse never could control my response. Better to wimp out than freak out, I guess.
Now, I know Christ taught us to turn the other cheek but I'm not sure I'm ready for that. I may never be, though it is a noble goal to become that way. I will say if someone like me can change, anyone can.
Be thoughtful in your responses and firm when stating your positions. Look the person in the eye. Maintain a level tone of voice. Stand or sit up straight (you should do this anyway) to show you are confident and sure of your argument. Focus on the other person, and smile when you feel like pouncing. The simple act of smiling, even if initially forced, will send a calming signal through your body and to your brain. It will literally change your attitude. It can also throw your opponent off his game. Relax your forehead and your shoulders. Don't cross your arms tightly or wring your hands. Stay relaxed so your eyes remain serene in their appearance. All of these actions will have the effect of making you feel the way you are acting.
It's a fool-proof way of being the bigger person without being a wimp.
My government saga from Monday isn't over after all. I need to speak to one of the bureacrats to resolve one last issue. I've called her twice (once per day) with no response. I will call her again today, and if necessary I will call her again tomorrow. If this doesn't work, I will call her at least twice on Friday. I will increase the number of calls per day until my issue is resolved or I am arrested for stalking, but I will be kind and gentle throughout.
Maybe it's because I am a libertarian, but I have always been hostile when it comes to dealing with the government. I have seen too much corruption and sloth and waste. These things offend me. While I will be persistent in my attempts to contact this lady, I will be polite, never threatening or rude. I represent almighty God, and as His ambassador, I must be on my best behavior at all times. I'll let you know how that goes.
Lessons:
- Be confident. Never walk into a situation without preparing for it as best you can.
- Leave emotion out of it. Bullies are angry. Wimps are frightened. Both suck.
- Relax. Everything comes out better when you are relaxed.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better
- Today I will learn to confront my adversaries and kill them with kindness
- I will always be persistent in pursuit of my goals
Keep your eyes on the prize. Keep the right attitude. Stand your ground. The world is waiting for you, all you have to do is have the confidence to go out and stake your claim.
Make it your best day ever. God bless you.
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Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Day # 26 - Tuning in to the right inner voice (or drill sergeant)
I kept busy yesterday so there was not a lot of opportunity to work on me. Or so it would seem. My day began in Downtown Miami. If you've never been to Miami, it's like Havana with less English speaking people.
I had business with the government down there. Anyone who knows me knows I dislike government in all its form. I dislike the inefficiency, the coldness, the lack of service, the laziness it instills in the bureaucrats it ensnares. Rough way to start a Monday.
I drove south on I-95 to get downtown. I arrived in Miami, parked about six blocks from where I needed to be and walked - in the rain. I managed to arrive early, but I wasn't going to sit in this tiny room so I went outside to make phone calls and breathe. I came up ten minutes later to find myself in a sardine can. A rent-a-cop with an attitude yelling for the people with 8:30 appointments (it's now 9:05.)
I deal with the bureaucrat, who can't even tell me the phone number to the department I need to contact. No sympathy, no sense of caring. Just no. Mama, don't let your babies grow up to be government workers.
I had to make a payment. She matter-of-factly tells me that they don't give change. I smile and tell her the government has taken a piece of every dollar I've ever earned. Go ahead and keep the last one. I will get the dollar back. They'll mail me a check. One dollar. They will spend at least another dollar to give me a buck that could have been handed to me right then and there.
The reason for this rant is to talk about discipline. I was in what is (to me) a hostile environment, in an unpleasant situation, being treated like a criminal for doing nothing more than paying my honest debts and doing so out of my own free will, without any coercion or outside influence. This experience, which I am condensing in the interest of not writing "War and Peace" this morning, was enough to make me want to lose it, but why step backwards. Why let the joylessness that coarsed through these poor people's veins infect me?
I was only 9:20 when I left and I would not let the experience set the tone for the rest of my day.
That's where the drill sergeant stepped in. I am teaching the voice in my head (voices, really) to tell me the things I need to hear, not the things I used to hear. I walked through that big city and admired the beauty and the history of the place. I read signs and smiled at the sky because the rain had passed and the sun was sucking up the water. I didn't see a rainbow, but I didn't need to.
I bounced along the street and told myself I was finally getting a little exercise, which I haven't been getting enough of for the last twenty years or so. I found the bright side and I embraced it.
I am late this morning because I didn't (and still don't) feel like writing today. I want to stay in bed. But here I am. I made a commitment and with over 330 days to go, it's too early to be tired. That's listening to the inner drill sergeant.
Lessons:
- You determine what kind of day your going to have. No one can ruin your day but you.
- The voices in your head are like a radio. Tune out the negative ones. Find the positive ones.
- When life gives you rain, look for rainbows.
- Try to find the beauty in ordinary things.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way, I am getting better and better.
- Today, I will begin to shut out the negative thoughts. I will slap them away until they don't come back.
- Today, I will seek out the positive the way I used to seek out the negative.
There are two sides to every coin and there are several possible outcomes to every situation. The X factor is your attitude. Decide to be happy. Yes, it is a choice.
Make it your best day ever. God bless you.
Start building your Success Library!
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I had business with the government down there. Anyone who knows me knows I dislike government in all its form. I dislike the inefficiency, the coldness, the lack of service, the laziness it instills in the bureaucrats it ensnares. Rough way to start a Monday.
I drove south on I-95 to get downtown. I arrived in Miami, parked about six blocks from where I needed to be and walked - in the rain. I managed to arrive early, but I wasn't going to sit in this tiny room so I went outside to make phone calls and breathe. I came up ten minutes later to find myself in a sardine can. A rent-a-cop with an attitude yelling for the people with 8:30 appointments (it's now 9:05.)
I deal with the bureaucrat, who can't even tell me the phone number to the department I need to contact. No sympathy, no sense of caring. Just no. Mama, don't let your babies grow up to be government workers.
I had to make a payment. She matter-of-factly tells me that they don't give change. I smile and tell her the government has taken a piece of every dollar I've ever earned. Go ahead and keep the last one. I will get the dollar back. They'll mail me a check. One dollar. They will spend at least another dollar to give me a buck that could have been handed to me right then and there.
The reason for this rant is to talk about discipline. I was in what is (to me) a hostile environment, in an unpleasant situation, being treated like a criminal for doing nothing more than paying my honest debts and doing so out of my own free will, without any coercion or outside influence. This experience, which I am condensing in the interest of not writing "War and Peace" this morning, was enough to make me want to lose it, but why step backwards. Why let the joylessness that coarsed through these poor people's veins infect me?
I was only 9:20 when I left and I would not let the experience set the tone for the rest of my day.
That's where the drill sergeant stepped in. I am teaching the voice in my head (voices, really) to tell me the things I need to hear, not the things I used to hear. I walked through that big city and admired the beauty and the history of the place. I read signs and smiled at the sky because the rain had passed and the sun was sucking up the water. I didn't see a rainbow, but I didn't need to.
I bounced along the street and told myself I was finally getting a little exercise, which I haven't been getting enough of for the last twenty years or so. I found the bright side and I embraced it.
I am late this morning because I didn't (and still don't) feel like writing today. I want to stay in bed. But here I am. I made a commitment and with over 330 days to go, it's too early to be tired. That's listening to the inner drill sergeant.
Lessons:
- You determine what kind of day your going to have. No one can ruin your day but you.
- The voices in your head are like a radio. Tune out the negative ones. Find the positive ones.
- When life gives you rain, look for rainbows.
- Try to find the beauty in ordinary things.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way, I am getting better and better.
- Today, I will begin to shut out the negative thoughts. I will slap them away until they don't come back.
- Today, I will seek out the positive the way I used to seek out the negative.
There are two sides to every coin and there are several possible outcomes to every situation. The X factor is your attitude. Decide to be happy. Yes, it is a choice.
Make it your best day ever. God bless you.
Start building your Success Library!
Follow me on Twitter
Friend me on Facebook
Monday, June 21, 2010
Day # 25 - So what if it's Father's Day?
Okay, so I got a really nice shirt and a beautiful necktie. Loved them both. Of course, I don't wear ties to work anymore so let me know if anyone's having a wedding I can crash. It was sweet to be with the girls in the morning. AJ came by and spent the afternoon with us and helped me with some work I had to do (yes, I worked on Father's Day - business owners understand.)
AJ is 18 today. We talked about what he's going to do now that high school is fading into glory day status and the future beckons. He mentioned going to school in Europe. I think it's a wonderful idea and I support him a hundred percent. Of course, I immediately shifted into Dad mode, talking about how he needs to find and apply to schools now because we are in the post 9-11 world and the processing could take months if not years and on and on I went.
I think I over did it. He shut down on me. I forget how much like me he is. I also was reminded of how much like my father I am so I know that this will correct itself with time.
Yesterday I wrote about sharing your wisdom. I guess I should have mentioned that sharing and force-feeding are not the same thing. He is a very mature (now 18 year old) boy. Wise beyond his years. But he is still my child and I feel like I have to help him. Sometimes the best way to help is by not helping at all. Sometimes you just have to be there and hope you have answers when they have questions.
When AJ's mother and I went our separate ways, I went into a deep depression. Steven, my oldest, was in New York and I new nothing of him, my marriage had fallen apart, and I was alone, living in my mother's house, divorced with two sons in two different states. I was 21 years old.
I was a high school dropout. I quit my job because I was working for the uncle of the woman who'd just left me. Honestly, that part is hazy. I don't remember how it happened. All I do know is I was unemployed.
In my depression, only one thing kept me together, and that was AJ. I call him Junior, but he now prefers AJ. He kept me from going off the deep end. He kept me sane. He kept me from doing anything stupid.
The point of this is: That while I had failed at so many things by the time I was old enough to have a beer, it was something that was added to my life by a power bigger than myself, something that I didn't ask for or expect, that made my life worth living. It was because of AJ that I didn't give up. Eventually I would drive to New York and reconnect with Steven. I would earn my GED and go to college. I would climb the corporate and social ladder, start businesses, write, and lead organizations. All because a little boy who had no idea how much he meant to his father was placed in my care. All because God entrusted me with one of his angels.
Lessons:
- Tell your parents you love them.
- Tell your children you love them. Tell them as part of your greeting and when you say good-bye. Say it out of the blue. It means more than you know.
- Fathers: You are the model for the man your daughters will marry and the man your sons will be.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better.
- Today I will be the parent my children deserve.
- Today I will be the child my parents deserve.
- I am blessed with infinite love, and I will share it.
- I am a positive role model for my children.
When I started writing this morning, I had no ide where I would go with this. It's all stream-of-consciousness, and I don't edit. If it doesn't make sense, that is why. If it does, then that is why.
Make it your best day ever. God bless you.
- Adolfo
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AJ is 18 today. We talked about what he's going to do now that high school is fading into glory day status and the future beckons. He mentioned going to school in Europe. I think it's a wonderful idea and I support him a hundred percent. Of course, I immediately shifted into Dad mode, talking about how he needs to find and apply to schools now because we are in the post 9-11 world and the processing could take months if not years and on and on I went.
I think I over did it. He shut down on me. I forget how much like me he is. I also was reminded of how much like my father I am so I know that this will correct itself with time.
Yesterday I wrote about sharing your wisdom. I guess I should have mentioned that sharing and force-feeding are not the same thing. He is a very mature (now 18 year old) boy. Wise beyond his years. But he is still my child and I feel like I have to help him. Sometimes the best way to help is by not helping at all. Sometimes you just have to be there and hope you have answers when they have questions.
When AJ's mother and I went our separate ways, I went into a deep depression. Steven, my oldest, was in New York and I new nothing of him, my marriage had fallen apart, and I was alone, living in my mother's house, divorced with two sons in two different states. I was 21 years old.
I was a high school dropout. I quit my job because I was working for the uncle of the woman who'd just left me. Honestly, that part is hazy. I don't remember how it happened. All I do know is I was unemployed.
In my depression, only one thing kept me together, and that was AJ. I call him Junior, but he now prefers AJ. He kept me from going off the deep end. He kept me sane. He kept me from doing anything stupid.
The point of this is: That while I had failed at so many things by the time I was old enough to have a beer, it was something that was added to my life by a power bigger than myself, something that I didn't ask for or expect, that made my life worth living. It was because of AJ that I didn't give up. Eventually I would drive to New York and reconnect with Steven. I would earn my GED and go to college. I would climb the corporate and social ladder, start businesses, write, and lead organizations. All because a little boy who had no idea how much he meant to his father was placed in my care. All because God entrusted me with one of his angels.
Lessons:
- Tell your parents you love them.
- Tell your children you love them. Tell them as part of your greeting and when you say good-bye. Say it out of the blue. It means more than you know.
- Fathers: You are the model for the man your daughters will marry and the man your sons will be.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better.
- Today I will be the parent my children deserve.
- Today I will be the child my parents deserve.
- I am blessed with infinite love, and I will share it.
- I am a positive role model for my children.
When I started writing this morning, I had no ide where I would go with this. It's all stream-of-consciousness, and I don't edit. If it doesn't make sense, that is why. If it does, then that is why.
Make it your best day ever. God bless you.
- Adolfo
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Follow me on Twitter
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Saturday, June 19, 2010
Day # 23 - I am (like) GOD!
Update: I slept. Man did I sleep. I haven't slept like I did last night in years. I got home around eight o'clock and by 9:30 I was knocked out. I just got out of bed a little before seven. Headache gone - feeling like a million bucks. Well, maybe several million.
If you open a tomato, pull out a seed and plant it, what grows? A tomato. Same goes for apples, watermelons, and anything else. You are a part of what you come from. Why does a mother feel the way she does for her child? Because this child was conceived and grew within her body, took its nourishment from her, and the mother is the first person a child touches or is touched by. There is a bond there that cannot be denied. Even if there is something wrong with the mother or the child. A prostitute or meth addict who has children, when asked about her regrets, will speak longingly of her child. She could go years without seeing her child and still recognize her baby's face on a crowded street. It's your parentage that decides your eye color, hair color, height, personality, abilities, tendencies, and everything else that makes you the unique being that you are.
That bond can be stretched, strained, and stressed, but never ultimately broken.
Now, let's talk about this in a more spiritual sense.
We come from God, do we not? Deny it if you wish, you're only fooling yourself. I know I came from God. If a tomato seed cannot grow into a pineapple, then I must be a part of what I came from as well. How can I not be a part of God? How can I be less? Why would I want to be? Why would I settle for being something as run of the mill as one of six billion human beings on this planet, when I could be God, Jr.?
Please understand, I am not suggesting that I am God or even a god. I am, however, suggesting that it is my duty to my heavenly father to do my best to be godly. Even an atheist would have to agree that the Ten Commandments are a fine way to live. I can see them having an issue with the first one, but no one in their right mind would argue for lying, killing, stealing, coveting, etc.
I had a very unpleasant conversation with a person yesterday, who says she is a woman of God. I am a bit under the weather and as I was about to answer her, I cleared my throat. She asked if I was about to lie to her. I smiled and let her know that I don't lie, but if I chose to, she would never know. She is the leader of a small church and is a charismatic "educated" woman. Education doesn't come from books - training does. Education comes from life, your parents, and experience. She thinks the alphabet soup that follows her name makes her my superior. This is one high school dropout she doesn't want to mess with!
Religion gets a bad rap when those of us who are a million light years from perfect presume to judge, when we behave like rich brats and look down our noses at others. It's not godlike. It's nonsense. I say, "we" meaning "them." I see things I don't agree with, but I know the best I can do is pray for the best, send people my blessing, and hope the way I'm living is pleasing to God. If it's not, I ask him for his forgiveness.
As you go on your own quest to discover and improve yourself, do not forget where you came from. Do not forget that although your goal may be God, you are merely human, and not fit to pass judgement. I am not trying to convert anyone. I don't feel that particular calling in my life at this point. I am preaching to the converted. Show humility, like Jesus did. Leaders do not stand on the hill, they go into the valley.
Lessons:
- I come from God. I must be like what I came from.
- This body I am occupying is temporary. My life has barely begun.
- I am not fit to judge. Therefore I will not.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better.
- Today I will be more like God.
- Today I will not pass judgement, rather I will look on others with love and compassion.
Get closer to God, and God will come closer to you. There is nothing wrong with living a good life. Imagine, relying on a perfect being instead of elected "leaders" who at every opportunity prove how inadequate they are. Cast your cares on a higher power. You won't be disappointed.
Make it your best day yet. God bless you.
- Adolfo
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Follow me on Twitter
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If you open a tomato, pull out a seed and plant it, what grows? A tomato. Same goes for apples, watermelons, and anything else. You are a part of what you come from. Why does a mother feel the way she does for her child? Because this child was conceived and grew within her body, took its nourishment from her, and the mother is the first person a child touches or is touched by. There is a bond there that cannot be denied. Even if there is something wrong with the mother or the child. A prostitute or meth addict who has children, when asked about her regrets, will speak longingly of her child. She could go years without seeing her child and still recognize her baby's face on a crowded street. It's your parentage that decides your eye color, hair color, height, personality, abilities, tendencies, and everything else that makes you the unique being that you are.
That bond can be stretched, strained, and stressed, but never ultimately broken.
Now, let's talk about this in a more spiritual sense.
We come from God, do we not? Deny it if you wish, you're only fooling yourself. I know I came from God. If a tomato seed cannot grow into a pineapple, then I must be a part of what I came from as well. How can I not be a part of God? How can I be less? Why would I want to be? Why would I settle for being something as run of the mill as one of six billion human beings on this planet, when I could be God, Jr.?
Please understand, I am not suggesting that I am God or even a god. I am, however, suggesting that it is my duty to my heavenly father to do my best to be godly. Even an atheist would have to agree that the Ten Commandments are a fine way to live. I can see them having an issue with the first one, but no one in their right mind would argue for lying, killing, stealing, coveting, etc.
I had a very unpleasant conversation with a person yesterday, who says she is a woman of God. I am a bit under the weather and as I was about to answer her, I cleared my throat. She asked if I was about to lie to her. I smiled and let her know that I don't lie, but if I chose to, she would never know. She is the leader of a small church and is a charismatic "educated" woman. Education doesn't come from books - training does. Education comes from life, your parents, and experience. She thinks the alphabet soup that follows her name makes her my superior. This is one high school dropout she doesn't want to mess with!
Religion gets a bad rap when those of us who are a million light years from perfect presume to judge, when we behave like rich brats and look down our noses at others. It's not godlike. It's nonsense. I say, "we" meaning "them." I see things I don't agree with, but I know the best I can do is pray for the best, send people my blessing, and hope the way I'm living is pleasing to God. If it's not, I ask him for his forgiveness.
As you go on your own quest to discover and improve yourself, do not forget where you came from. Do not forget that although your goal may be God, you are merely human, and not fit to pass judgement. I am not trying to convert anyone. I don't feel that particular calling in my life at this point. I am preaching to the converted. Show humility, like Jesus did. Leaders do not stand on the hill, they go into the valley.
Lessons:
- I come from God. I must be like what I came from.
- This body I am occupying is temporary. My life has barely begun.
- I am not fit to judge. Therefore I will not.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better.
- Today I will be more like God.
- Today I will not pass judgement, rather I will look on others with love and compassion.
Get closer to God, and God will come closer to you. There is nothing wrong with living a good life. Imagine, relying on a perfect being instead of elected "leaders" who at every opportunity prove how inadequate they are. Cast your cares on a higher power. You won't be disappointed.
Make it your best day yet. God bless you.
- Adolfo
Start building your Success Library!
Follow me on Twitter
Friend me on Facebook
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