Day # 188 - Decisions Then and Now

I am a proponent of speaking the truth. I think everyone should. Lies, or even withholding the truth are destructive. If not to the person being lied to, then definitely to the liar. It is a shame that we sometimes find ourselves in situations where we have to hold back and not speak our minds. The result is typically having to swallow a bitter pill.

I find myself in such a situation right now. I find myself needing to keep my mouth shut about certain things I would rather not keep my mouth shut about. I call it eating sh_t sandwiches. And it's as bad as it sounds.

While I don't consider myself a blunt person, I am an honest person - or at least try to be. Having to bite my tongue is a very uncomfortable situation but ultimately I am responsible for this. I put myself in this situation and I have to ride it out. It's man-up time.

This is why it's important to weigh every decision you make because they all matter. Keep in mind that what you do today may have consequences that you will feel, if not tomorrow, years from now. Using personal finances as an example, the latte you spend five bucks on today, could cost you big time down the road when you're broke, just like the cookies and milk you have before bed can affect your health down the road.

The point is we should take a little time to plan things out so we don't paint ourselves into corners. Freedom is the most important thing you have and you should make sure that you make no decisions to jeopardize it. Be deliberate. Be thoughtful. Be responsible. Be free.

God bless you. Make the right decisions. Make it your best day.

- Adolfo

Day # 149 - Build Your Ark Before it Rains

Keith Ferrazzi, the relationship marketing master and networker extraordinaire, says of networking: build it before you need it. You don’t put on your seatbelt after crashing your car. You wouldn’t trust a doctor with your kids if he was walking into the operating room with “Tonsillectomy for Dummies” under his arm. Preparation is crucial.

I see this time and again in my business and personal life. I find myself making the same mistakes sometimes and it all comes to preparation – or the lack of it.

The thing about preparation, or whatever necessary steps there are to the successful execution of any process, is that we know the steps, we know what we have to do, and we often choose to take a shortcut, and the result is always the same: subpar performance.

Remember the 7 “P’s”: Proper-Prior-Planning-Prevents-Piss-Poor-Performance

But it isn’t always a matter of planning. Is there anything in your life right now that you need to do? Something you may not want to do. It could be boring or expensive, or tedious, but think about the consequences if you don’t do it. There are plenty of things that don’t matter – until they matter. You know what they are and you know what you have to do, so get off the couch and do them.

Whoever said good things come to those who wait should have explained a little further. While patience is a virtue, inaction is a vice. Waiting for things to happen will only ensure that they happen to other people or that you will miss them when they happen to you. Prepare, and get out there and make it happen. No one ever became successful by not taking care of the simple things and no one ever became successful by waiting for something to happen.

I have a friend who has the makings of a major director. For years, I have tried to entice him with all kinds of projects and ideas and his answer is always that he is too busy or some other lame excuse. Now, the small film-production company I have been involved in for the last year is about to take some big steps. We will need directors. Will I be calling him? Of course not. Why would I expect him to be ready for the big things when he was too busy for the little things? Why should I have confidence in a person who wasn’t willing to build his ark before it rained?

The lesson is: Do not ignore the little things. Little things mean everything. Be prepared for anything and don’t procrastinate. The only thing that comes to those who waits is the disappointing news that they missed their opportunity.

God bless you. Go out there and make it your best day yet. Do it now!

- Adolfo

Day # 143 - Goal Setting

We set goals every day. Sometimes it's something as simple as getting to work on time. Sometimes, it's something more ambitious like losing a significant amount of weight. Whatever your goal is, it should be well-defined, reasonable, and measurable.

Saying, "I want to be in shape," is too vague to mean anything. Saying, "I want to lose twenty pounds and run a marathon," is clear and measurable.

When I started this blog, I had a vague goal: to give up news and improve myself. From this exercise, I have defined one new goal: I have promised myself I would write every day until the year is over. More importantly, I am becoming much more self-aware. I am closer to God. I find myself wanting more, making a shift to spirituality, to meaning. I don't know what it means, but I am trying to find out.

I know what I like, but not always what I feel. I often don't understand my own thoughts. I feel the presence of God in my life, but I don't always understand what he's trying to tell me - or maybe I don't want to.

My goal is to be the best person I can be. Man, how wishy-washy is that? If you don't know where you're going, your liable to get there. Use a road map. Figure out what you're good at and what you want your life to mean. Then go about reaching that goal.

Let me know how it goes. I'll keep you posted.

- Adolfo

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Day # 89 - The 40-Hour Work Weak!

There are no perfect situations. Each situation, good or bad, is what you make of it. You decide whether it's a good day or a bad day. You decide if that email from your boss will ruin your evening or your weekend or even part of your vacation. We live in the 24-hour world so it's easy for work and its aggravations to follow you home. You need to decide whether that's acceptable or not.

I work practically around the clock. I sleep around six hours and will start the morning by checking emails, which is how I end my day. I have been up since five this morning (it's now 5:27) and here I am writing my blog, which is work. I will make and take a few calls after dropping off the kids this morning. In fact, I have a collection call to make. It shouldn't be unpleasant, but it's never fun to ask for money, even if it is owed to you.

But let's be honest: no one ever built a successful career or business working forty hours per week. As Brian Tracy said, "The forty hour work-week is the worst bill of goods ever sold to the American people." He's right. While I believe in work-life balance, I believe that if you want to have more, you have to do more. 40 is the number of survival.

I have a full-time plus job (about 60 hours including work done at home via Crackberry and laptop) I own a business, which takes little time, a few hours a week. I write this blog, and I serve on a couple of community boards. I also find time to network. I also read about a book a week. How can I achieve work-life balance? Simple:

I choose what my life should be. I don't watch television anymore. I disconnected the cable. I should have done it years ago. I don't miss it. My kids are more active and less sarcastic because they're not trying to make the same wise remarks I-Carly or Hannah Montana pass off as humor. I also limit my social activities, trying to do as many of them as possible during work hours. I rarely go out for a drink (once or twice a year - yes, year.) I don't have a regular poker game I attend. I don't spend my Sundays glued to the television watching football. I do watch the Dolphins and some times a couple more games, but I don't obsess about it. And now that I don't have cable, that' probably over. I don't sleep in and I don't demand me time. I make "me" time. I do it by waking up 90 minutes before anyone else in the house.

How to achieve work-life balance:

- Prioritize: Eliminate what really doesn't matter, like TV.
- Schedule: There is a time for work and a time for family- if you make it so.
- Live in the Now!: When you are at work, work. When you are at play, play. You'll get more work done, and you'll get more joy out of the time spent with family and friends.

The truth is, I only know what works for me. I am done with my morning work and I still have about 30 minutes to myself before the morning insanity starts. I'll drop off the kids, go get a quick workout, and get to work. When I am at work, I will focus on work. Then I'm going to get a haircut. I really need one.

God bless you and make it a great day.

- Adolfo



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Day # 45 - Stick to the plan.

I told my kids that any time I heard them say, "I can't" they would owe me ten jumping jacks. They both had to pay up publicly last night. I told them I would do it and to not stick to my plan would send so many wrong messages. I want them to know that when their father says something he means it. I want them to know that the words, "I can't" are dirty words, profane words, like the "F" word - destructive, negative and unnecessary. Just as profanity is the language of the ignorant, negative talk is the language of losers. My kids will not be losers and will not speak the loser's language.

My hotel hosted a breakfast for a large group of business and community leaders Friday. I saw many familiar faces and some new ones. It was nice. I had allowed myself to feel like a bit of an outcast after losing my job back in November and I realize I had no reason to. Like Eleanor Roosevelt said, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."

Yesterday, I was called in to handle a few situations and left home without my phone. I don't like to be electronically stranded, but it's liberating in a way. I had to run to the FedEx store, where I ran into one of my old bank customers, who greeted me warmly and asked for my contact information. We will be working on some things together in the near future. Stopped by another store in my journey and ran into another one of my bank customers who also greeted me warmly. Went to dinner last night and saw yet another person from the past, a HoneyBee customer, who had a big smile and kind words for me. I was also asked by two separate companies if I would be interested in coming to work for them. I am flattered, but I started something and I intend to stick to it.

I received an e-mail from someone who told me I am a bit of a legend around town and that I have a reputation for being good person. I have to admit, my eyes got a little wet at that one. I have made so many mistakes in my life and for so long I feared that was all anyone would remember me for. People want to believe in your goodness and in your ability. Sure, there are people out there who will never like you no matter what you do. Accept it, write it off as their loss, not yours, and move on to the happy people.

My plan is to succeed at everything I do. Friday was a big step in that direction. I am sticking to my plan.

Lessons:

- Make plans. Don't obsess about them, but make them and stick to them, adjusting as necessary.
- Your reputation matters.
- Don't presume to know what other people think of you. Endeavor to influence how people think of you.

Today's Declarations:

- Day by day in every way, I am getting better and better.
- I have favor in the eyes of the people I meet.
- People see me for who I am.

Take care of your relationships. Stick to your plans. Don't just stop and smell the roses, say hello to the gardener, too.

Make it your best day yet. God bless you.

- Adolfo


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Day # 44 - Plans and lists

I slept for about ten hours. It usually takes me two days to get that much sleep. I want to go back to bed, but life won't wait for me so I am up.

Are you a planner? Do you plan out your day, your week, your month, your grocery shopping, your vacations, your finances? I've never been much of a planner. I was always more of a winger. I have become a list writer and that has made me more effective.

Many experts will tell you that at the end of each day you should take five minutes and write out a plan for the next day and at the end of the week you should do the same for the following week. I am not there yet. I am trying to get better about that, but I am also one of those who believe that a battle plan typically doesn't survive the first shot.

So I compromise. I make my to-do lists and I keep them front and center on my desk so that I cannot ignore them no matter how busy or distracted I may be. It's something most people do as a matter of course. For me, it's a major life change. One of the results is that my follow-up, which was often spotty, is improving. I am returning calls more quickly, I'm keeping track of the various balls I have in the air at any given time. I am better as a result and I'm just getting started.

I like listing things on paper. Writing helps me remember and my phone rings and beeps so often that I want to ignore it most of the time any way. (I said I want to, I didn't day I do.) Writing is reciting internally. It helps me to learn and helps put things in the proper place - mentally speaking

Find your system, perfect it, and stick to it. You'll see the difference.

Lessons:

- The Five P's: Proper Planning Prevents Poor Performance
- Amateurs remember, pros write it down
- Whatever you do, remember to KISS - Keep It Sweet & Simple.

Today's Declarations:

- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better.
- I will plan the work and work the plan.
- I will map out my day, my week, and my life. This is how I will reach my goals.

Plan on doing it. List the reasons why. The reasons can be anything from improving your performance to making more money to controlling your schedule so you can spend more time with your family.

Make it your best day yet. God bless you.

- Adolfo

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