A.I.: Arrogance & Ignorance. There is a lot of each going around, usually in tandem. I have been exposed to thousands of people over the year and it never ceases to amaze me how little they know - or how little they care to know. We have chosen ignorance as a lifestyle. We are oblivious to the choices we make and the choices made for us, never for a moment thinking that our futures are in the hands of disinterested, arrogant people.
The biggest distinction between the Haves and the Have-Nots is information. By information, I mean the Haves choose to be informed, to be educated. They spend their money on books and education and they work as hard as they have to in order to succeed, while the Have-Nots do not invest in their education and do not work as hard as they can. Why? My belief is that many of the Have-Nots have been convinced by the government and the media that those who are successful, or rich, only became so by cheating. The Have-Nots are constantly told the rich get richer while the poor get poorer. You spend enough time telling a bird it can't fly and it will eventually believe you.
The arrogant politicians believe they are better than the rest of us. They believe they are a glamorous race of people who were born to lead. The unwashed masses exist to do their bidding. The common folk, the Have-Nots, believe this. What else will they believe? They hear the words of their "Leaders" and they look around at their environment and they believe it's true. Sometimes, one gets away, but we don't want to talk about that now, do we?
When "Leaders" convince their followers that they don't stand a chance because of their skin color, their ethnicity, their gender, or whatever BS reason they can come up with, the followers don't stand a chance. Too many blacks believe that the world outside is a racist place where they don't stand a chance. Even our president, who is half-black, perpetuates this lie. Hispanics are no better off. We are told that the US is racist because some of us would like immigration laws observed. They are told this so often that they can't believe anything else. These people are suffering as a result of their own ignorance. They could accomplish anything if they would just decide to believe in themselves.
You avoid this by getting your information from various sources. Right or Left, doesn't matter. Read both. Have a little CNN with your Fox. Read magazines and books and more than one newspaper. Then, and here's the radical part of my plan, think! For the love of all that matters, THINK! Use your head. Ignorance is a choice. We are all guilty of it at times and that's no crime. Ignorance becomes criminal when left unchecked. Pick up a book and think for yourself. Encourage others to do the same. Build yourself up and let no one tear you down. It's your life... Live it!
Adolfo
Showing posts with label education. Show all posts
Showing posts with label education. Show all posts
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Monday, August 9, 2010
Day # 74 - Political Correctness: The not-so-silent killer (of dreams)
America is a country in decline. Has been for a while. Why? So many reasons, but the one that always sticks in my head is political correctness. Our society has developed this kind of neediness, this softness, that makes it very difficult for individuals to shine and when they do they are cast as the villain. Police work is now called profiling, so when the police are looking for terrorists, they have to strip-search grandma because we don't want anyone to feel bad. When a fire department in New England conducts tests to determine who gets a promotion and not enough minorities pass, the test is deemed racially biased and unfair. I didn't know saving lives was affected by race? By the way, I am a mixed-race individual, so put your righteous indignation where it belongs: in the toilet.
Schools are more concerned with self-esteem than education, which is probably the biggest destroyer of opportunity. If a kid doesn't know 2+2, teach him, don't give him a gold star for effort. In the real world there are no gold stars for efforts that result in failure, there are only two things: the opportunity to begin again and the labor pool outside of Home Depot.
Sports leagues that don't keep score are another major component of our decline. If you lose, you should feel bad, you should hate it. If it doesn't bother you, you are more likely to let it happen again. Look at anyone who is a winner at anything, be it sports, business, or life in general. Competitors win, people afraid of losing always lose. It is what it is.
Finally, we have a government and a media that is obsessed with your failure. Millionaires and executives are painted as evil. If a poor kid scrapes his way out of the projects, you never hear about it, unless he's an athlete. If a businessman cheats on his wife, or embezzles funds or commits fraud, you hear about it for weeks or even months. (Those of you in South Florida remember the endless coverage of Scott Rothstein - The Sun Sentinel dedicate a link on their website to the coverage. This is one of the reasons I quit the news.)
80% of millionaires in this country are self-made! That bears repeating: 80 per cent of millionaires in this country are self-made! Yet, the media and the president and congress would have you believe those people cheated you out of your money and that that's the only way to make it in America. How did Barack Obama make his millions? Did he lie, cheat, and steal? Millionaire and President before age fifty in one lifetime? No way! Well, yes way. I don't agree with the man's politics, but I admire his accomplishments. What I don't admire is that he is trying to block the rest of us from the same accomplishments.
It is up to us to love our country and to make it great. It owes us nothing more than the opportunity to make our own way in the world. If we fail, it is up to us to get up and try again. If we have helped others along the journey, than there may be someone there to help us, but even if no one is there, we need to get up and keep fighting. This is what separates a winner from a loser and this is what for 234 years has separated America from the rest of the world.
Today's Lessons:
- Political correctness is not good for anyone. It is a form of censorship and a destructive force in our society.
- Do not listen to the media. They would have you believe that minorities and women can't make it in the world without sports or Hollywood. This is nonsense. You can do anything you want to do if you are willing to work hard.
- Do not listen to politicians. These people for the most part are immune from the problems of real people. Governments keep growing while the economies that feed them are shrinking. How does that reflect the real world?
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better.
- I determine my level of success. Not the media, not the government.
- I do not need special treatment, quotas or political correctness to succeed. Everything I need to succeed is inside of me.
Get out there today and be your absolute best. Eleanor Roosevelt said: "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Block out the negatives. Look at the beautiful and unique person God made you and see what He saw. You can do anything you want to do if you are willing to stop making excuses, stop letting others make excuses for you, and do it!
Make it your best day yet. God bless you.
- Adolfo
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Schools are more concerned with self-esteem than education, which is probably the biggest destroyer of opportunity. If a kid doesn't know 2+2, teach him, don't give him a gold star for effort. In the real world there are no gold stars for efforts that result in failure, there are only two things: the opportunity to begin again and the labor pool outside of Home Depot.
Sports leagues that don't keep score are another major component of our decline. If you lose, you should feel bad, you should hate it. If it doesn't bother you, you are more likely to let it happen again. Look at anyone who is a winner at anything, be it sports, business, or life in general. Competitors win, people afraid of losing always lose. It is what it is.
Finally, we have a government and a media that is obsessed with your failure. Millionaires and executives are painted as evil. If a poor kid scrapes his way out of the projects, you never hear about it, unless he's an athlete. If a businessman cheats on his wife, or embezzles funds or commits fraud, you hear about it for weeks or even months. (Those of you in South Florida remember the endless coverage of Scott Rothstein - The Sun Sentinel dedicate a link on their website to the coverage. This is one of the reasons I quit the news.)
80% of millionaires in this country are self-made! That bears repeating: 80 per cent of millionaires in this country are self-made! Yet, the media and the president and congress would have you believe those people cheated you out of your money and that that's the only way to make it in America. How did Barack Obama make his millions? Did he lie, cheat, and steal? Millionaire and President before age fifty in one lifetime? No way! Well, yes way. I don't agree with the man's politics, but I admire his accomplishments. What I don't admire is that he is trying to block the rest of us from the same accomplishments.
It is up to us to love our country and to make it great. It owes us nothing more than the opportunity to make our own way in the world. If we fail, it is up to us to get up and try again. If we have helped others along the journey, than there may be someone there to help us, but even if no one is there, we need to get up and keep fighting. This is what separates a winner from a loser and this is what for 234 years has separated America from the rest of the world.
Today's Lessons:
- Political correctness is not good for anyone. It is a form of censorship and a destructive force in our society.
- Do not listen to the media. They would have you believe that minorities and women can't make it in the world without sports or Hollywood. This is nonsense. You can do anything you want to do if you are willing to work hard.
- Do not listen to politicians. These people for the most part are immune from the problems of real people. Governments keep growing while the economies that feed them are shrinking. How does that reflect the real world?
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better.
- I determine my level of success. Not the media, not the government.
- I do not need special treatment, quotas or political correctness to succeed. Everything I need to succeed is inside of me.
Get out there today and be your absolute best. Eleanor Roosevelt said: "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Block out the negatives. Look at the beautiful and unique person God made you and see what He saw. You can do anything you want to do if you are willing to stop making excuses, stop letting others make excuses for you, and do it!
Make it your best day yet. God bless you.
- Adolfo
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Saturday, July 24, 2010
Day # 58 - Gratitude
If you don't appreciate what you have, God will never give you more. You will never earn more. You will never have more. I own a small event and party rental company and we do a lot of community stuff including back to school heath fairs. It has always amazed me how ungrateful some people are. After three years and thousands of snow cones, popcorn, and cotton candy bags given away, it still amazes me. I don't know why "please" and "thank you" are so hard to say.
And this is not something exclusively to poor or minority communities. We work all over the county in all kinds of neighborhoods and serve practically every demographic and it's the same all over the place. What I have learned is that rotten parents make rotten kids and being spoiled has nothing to do with being rich.
We give away these treats and never get a please or thank you and every time I say I'm going to hang up a sign that reads:
Cotton Candy, Sno-Kone or Popcorn: $1 Each or "Please" and "Thank You" but I never do it. Part of me feels bad for these kids. I do ask them for the magic word and I usually get it. Other times I get an attitude from them. I simply remind myself that I am responsible for making sure no one ever looks at my kids and thinks the things I am thinking about these kids and their parents.
Today's Lessons:
- Be grateful for what you have and who God made you to be.
- Learn from dogs. All you have to do is feed them and rub their tummies and they will lick your face. In fact, you leave them home alone and bored all day and they greet you with a smile and a wagging tail. They don't care that you were gone, they're just grateful that you're now home.
- Thank God for everything.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better.
- I am grateful for all I have and this gratitude makes it possible for me to have more than I ever dreamed of.
- My children are a reflection of me. I will teach them gratitude, humility, and humanity, by exhibiting gratitude, humility, and humanity.
Just try adding "please" and "thank you" to more of your conversations. Even when asking for something you are entitled to, even if it's from someone who is obligated to do it. You will feel better and you'll see the positive influence it has on the people you interact with.
Make it your best day yet. God bless you.
- Adolfo
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And this is not something exclusively to poor or minority communities. We work all over the county in all kinds of neighborhoods and serve practically every demographic and it's the same all over the place. What I have learned is that rotten parents make rotten kids and being spoiled has nothing to do with being rich.
We give away these treats and never get a please or thank you and every time I say I'm going to hang up a sign that reads:
Cotton Candy, Sno-Kone or Popcorn: $1 Each or "Please" and "Thank You" but I never do it. Part of me feels bad for these kids. I do ask them for the magic word and I usually get it. Other times I get an attitude from them. I simply remind myself that I am responsible for making sure no one ever looks at my kids and thinks the things I am thinking about these kids and their parents.
Today's Lessons:
- Be grateful for what you have and who God made you to be.
- Learn from dogs. All you have to do is feed them and rub their tummies and they will lick your face. In fact, you leave them home alone and bored all day and they greet you with a smile and a wagging tail. They don't care that you were gone, they're just grateful that you're now home.
- Thank God for everything.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better.
- I am grateful for all I have and this gratitude makes it possible for me to have more than I ever dreamed of.
- My children are a reflection of me. I will teach them gratitude, humility, and humanity, by exhibiting gratitude, humility, and humanity.
Just try adding "please" and "thank you" to more of your conversations. Even when asking for something you are entitled to, even if it's from someone who is obligated to do it. You will feel better and you'll see the positive influence it has on the people you interact with.
Make it your best day yet. God bless you.
- Adolfo
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Saturday, July 10, 2010
Day # 44 - Plans and lists
I slept for about ten hours. It usually takes me two days to get that much sleep. I want to go back to bed, but life won't wait for me so I am up.
Are you a planner? Do you plan out your day, your week, your month, your grocery shopping, your vacations, your finances? I've never been much of a planner. I was always more of a winger. I have become a list writer and that has made me more effective.
Many experts will tell you that at the end of each day you should take five minutes and write out a plan for the next day and at the end of the week you should do the same for the following week. I am not there yet. I am trying to get better about that, but I am also one of those who believe that a battle plan typically doesn't survive the first shot.
So I compromise. I make my to-do lists and I keep them front and center on my desk so that I cannot ignore them no matter how busy or distracted I may be. It's something most people do as a matter of course. For me, it's a major life change. One of the results is that my follow-up, which was often spotty, is improving. I am returning calls more quickly, I'm keeping track of the various balls I have in the air at any given time. I am better as a result and I'm just getting started.
I like listing things on paper. Writing helps me remember and my phone rings and beeps so often that I want to ignore it most of the time any way. (I said I want to, I didn't day I do.) Writing is reciting internally. It helps me to learn and helps put things in the proper place - mentally speaking
Find your system, perfect it, and stick to it. You'll see the difference.
Lessons:
- The Five P's: Proper Planning Prevents Poor Performance
- Amateurs remember, pros write it down
- Whatever you do, remember to KISS - Keep It Sweet & Simple.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better.
- I will plan the work and work the plan.
- I will map out my day, my week, and my life. This is how I will reach my goals.
Plan on doing it. List the reasons why. The reasons can be anything from improving your performance to making more money to controlling your schedule so you can spend more time with your family.
Make it your best day yet. God bless you.
- Adolfo
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Are you a planner? Do you plan out your day, your week, your month, your grocery shopping, your vacations, your finances? I've never been much of a planner. I was always more of a winger. I have become a list writer and that has made me more effective.
Many experts will tell you that at the end of each day you should take five minutes and write out a plan for the next day and at the end of the week you should do the same for the following week. I am not there yet. I am trying to get better about that, but I am also one of those who believe that a battle plan typically doesn't survive the first shot.
So I compromise. I make my to-do lists and I keep them front and center on my desk so that I cannot ignore them no matter how busy or distracted I may be. It's something most people do as a matter of course. For me, it's a major life change. One of the results is that my follow-up, which was often spotty, is improving. I am returning calls more quickly, I'm keeping track of the various balls I have in the air at any given time. I am better as a result and I'm just getting started.
I like listing things on paper. Writing helps me remember and my phone rings and beeps so often that I want to ignore it most of the time any way. (I said I want to, I didn't day I do.) Writing is reciting internally. It helps me to learn and helps put things in the proper place - mentally speaking
Find your system, perfect it, and stick to it. You'll see the difference.
Lessons:
- The Five P's: Proper Planning Prevents Poor Performance
- Amateurs remember, pros write it down
- Whatever you do, remember to KISS - Keep It Sweet & Simple.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better.
- I will plan the work and work the plan.
- I will map out my day, my week, and my life. This is how I will reach my goals.
Plan on doing it. List the reasons why. The reasons can be anything from improving your performance to making more money to controlling your schedule so you can spend more time with your family.
Make it your best day yet. God bless you.
- Adolfo
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Friday, July 9, 2010
Day # 43 - Don't stop
I am not in the mood to write. All things being equal, I would rather be asleep. But I made a commitment to write, and I will not miss a day...
I have had about three hours of sleep since I woke up before five on Thursday morning. It's been a rough, but successful two days. There were challenges and plenty of reasons to quit. I chose to stick it out, to allow my actions to speak. I am finally fully committed to the idea that failure is not an option. I decided that slowing down when you still have enough steam to go full speed is the exact same thing as giving up. Other people will never define me. I am a person of excellence. This is how I am forever defining myself.
It's easy to stop when the going gets tough. It's easy to give up, to quit. I know, I've done it over and over again in my life. In my old life, that is. Never again. My desire is renewed. My ambition is restored.
When I was a teenager, and all my friends were covering the walls of their rooms with pictures of muscle cars or pretty women, I plastered my walls with pictures of, and quotations from... wait for it... Donald Trump. I must have read "The Art of the Deal" ten times. I wanted it all and I knew I would have to work my butt off for it. That was the fun part.
But somewhere along the way, probably when I became a father, I left my dreams and ambitions behind. Maybe it's because I'm a little punchy, but it just occured to me how unfair that was to my children.
I plan to make it up to them.
Lessons:
- Don't Stop. Don't stop trying, learning, growing, improving.
- Commitment is not words, it is action.
- Find your ambition. Work it out, build it up, and set it free!
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better
- I am committed to getting the job done
- I will complete every task to the best of my abilities
I am tired and I want to go to sleep. I will soon.
Make it your best day ever. God bless you.
- Adolfo
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I have had about three hours of sleep since I woke up before five on Thursday morning. It's been a rough, but successful two days. There were challenges and plenty of reasons to quit. I chose to stick it out, to allow my actions to speak. I am finally fully committed to the idea that failure is not an option. I decided that slowing down when you still have enough steam to go full speed is the exact same thing as giving up. Other people will never define me. I am a person of excellence. This is how I am forever defining myself.
It's easy to stop when the going gets tough. It's easy to give up, to quit. I know, I've done it over and over again in my life. In my old life, that is. Never again. My desire is renewed. My ambition is restored.
When I was a teenager, and all my friends were covering the walls of their rooms with pictures of muscle cars or pretty women, I plastered my walls with pictures of, and quotations from... wait for it... Donald Trump. I must have read "The Art of the Deal" ten times. I wanted it all and I knew I would have to work my butt off for it. That was the fun part.
But somewhere along the way, probably when I became a father, I left my dreams and ambitions behind. Maybe it's because I'm a little punchy, but it just occured to me how unfair that was to my children.
I plan to make it up to them.
Lessons:
- Don't Stop. Don't stop trying, learning, growing, improving.
- Commitment is not words, it is action.
- Find your ambition. Work it out, build it up, and set it free!
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better
- I am committed to getting the job done
- I will complete every task to the best of my abilities
I am tired and I want to go to sleep. I will soon.
Make it your best day ever. God bless you.
- Adolfo
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Thursday, July 8, 2010
Day # 42 - Words of encouragement
Have you ever gone bowling with a five-year old? It's an experience. The ball rolls tortoise-like down the lane at (literally) two miles per hour. It sometimes lands so gently that the conveyor can't pick it up so you need to jam another down the lane in the hopes of moving the other one. Spotty success rate there.
So there I am with my little girl. She weighs around forty pounds. The lightest ball weighs six. It's the equivalent of someone my size rolling a Volkswagen down the lane in an effort to knock over the Rocky Mountains - at least in her mind. I kneel next to her and tell her: "Send it right down the middle. I believe in you. I know you can do it." She throws a strike. Just like that, I have made my child believe in herself. Just like that, I have boosted her self-esteem.
I boost her not by celebrating her failures, which she will have, which we all have, I boost her by reminding her that she is capable and that I am her biggest fan. When I say celebrating her failure, I am referring to outcome-based education, where no one fails a class, sports leagues where no one loses and score is not kept, and schools where kids are not corrected in order to not damage their fragile little egos.
Talk about setting someone up for failure. This does not resemble the real world in the least.
My little girl loves to eat. I don't know where she puts it. She is tiny. She convinced my wife to buy her some chicken fingers and once the food arrived, she stopped focusing on the game. When her turn came she would drop the ball and walk away. Daddy reprimanded her. I told her that her chicken wouldn't fly away and that she needed to live in the moment. She did it again and I told her I was disappointed in her behavior. Once she focused and did her best, she was praised.
I know it feels good to praise your kids. I know it feels good to be praised. It feels better when it is actually earned. Hollow compliments are destructive. Kids know when they've done a good job and they know when they've failed. When you praise laziness or mediocrity you send the wrong message. After all, if you get a pat on the back for no effort,why bother putting any effort at all?
It's a sin to not strive to reach your God-given potential. It's a greater sin to prevent others from doing so. It's okay to tell your kids or your teammates or your staff when they have failed at something. It's okay to set high expectations. It's not okay to make excuses. It's not okay to fail. It's not okay to celebrate failure or lack of effort.
One last thing: I stole an idea from Art Williams, former college football coach and motivational speaker. When I hear my kids say, "I can't," they have to drop and give me three push ups. If not three push ups, ten jumping jacks. I'm hearing those words a lot less these days. Go ahead and call Family Protective Services on me.
Lessons:
- People, especially children, will rise to your expectations. Do them a favor and set them high.
- You don't do anyone any favors by being too soft on them.
- Failure is to be hated, not celebrated.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better
- I will encourage effort and success. I will never celebrate mediocrity
- I will set high expectations, knowing those around me can exceed them
Our parents made mistakes and we have made mistakes. It's part of being human. Learn from them, don't repeat them, and move on. It is our goal to make everyone around us better. As they rise, so shall we.
Make it your best day yet! God bless you.
Start building your Success Library!
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So there I am with my little girl. She weighs around forty pounds. The lightest ball weighs six. It's the equivalent of someone my size rolling a Volkswagen down the lane in an effort to knock over the Rocky Mountains - at least in her mind. I kneel next to her and tell her: "Send it right down the middle. I believe in you. I know you can do it." She throws a strike. Just like that, I have made my child believe in herself. Just like that, I have boosted her self-esteem.
I boost her not by celebrating her failures, which she will have, which we all have, I boost her by reminding her that she is capable and that I am her biggest fan. When I say celebrating her failure, I am referring to outcome-based education, where no one fails a class, sports leagues where no one loses and score is not kept, and schools where kids are not corrected in order to not damage their fragile little egos.
Talk about setting someone up for failure. This does not resemble the real world in the least.
My little girl loves to eat. I don't know where she puts it. She is tiny. She convinced my wife to buy her some chicken fingers and once the food arrived, she stopped focusing on the game. When her turn came she would drop the ball and walk away. Daddy reprimanded her. I told her that her chicken wouldn't fly away and that she needed to live in the moment. She did it again and I told her I was disappointed in her behavior. Once she focused and did her best, she was praised.
I know it feels good to praise your kids. I know it feels good to be praised. It feels better when it is actually earned. Hollow compliments are destructive. Kids know when they've done a good job and they know when they've failed. When you praise laziness or mediocrity you send the wrong message. After all, if you get a pat on the back for no effort,why bother putting any effort at all?
It's a sin to not strive to reach your God-given potential. It's a greater sin to prevent others from doing so. It's okay to tell your kids or your teammates or your staff when they have failed at something. It's okay to set high expectations. It's not okay to make excuses. It's not okay to fail. It's not okay to celebrate failure or lack of effort.
One last thing: I stole an idea from Art Williams, former college football coach and motivational speaker. When I hear my kids say, "I can't," they have to drop and give me three push ups. If not three push ups, ten jumping jacks. I'm hearing those words a lot less these days. Go ahead and call Family Protective Services on me.
Lessons:
- People, especially children, will rise to your expectations. Do them a favor and set them high.
- You don't do anyone any favors by being too soft on them.
- Failure is to be hated, not celebrated.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better
- I will encourage effort and success. I will never celebrate mediocrity
- I will set high expectations, knowing those around me can exceed them
Our parents made mistakes and we have made mistakes. It's part of being human. Learn from them, don't repeat them, and move on. It is our goal to make everyone around us better. As they rise, so shall we.
Make it your best day yet! God bless you.
Start building your Success Library!
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Saturday, July 3, 2010
Day # 37 - Don't go there. Or, lead thyself not into temptation
I had a classmate in college I became pretty close with. We were both in our mid-twenties (we were both dads and had started college late) and both dads. He was an alcoholic. He had stopped drinking some time before but once spoke to me about the temptation he felt every day. He explained that if your problem is something illegal like cocaine, it's easier to stay away from it but alcohol is everywhere. Watch a sporting event on TV and the ads are mostly about some kind of beer or other. People get together after work to have a few beers. You stop at a gas station to fill up and the places is covered in neon signs for Budweiser, Corona, Miller Lite, etc.
It's tough to be addicted - especially to something that is everywhere you look. I can't imagine what that must be like. I am not prone to addiction, my destructive behavior has always been less ritualistic. I don't get drunk, but I have overeaten on many occasions. I tended to lose my temper and destroy (figuratively) anything in my surrounding area. It's been a long time getting it somewhat under control and I am getting better every day. Because my problems are internal, they are everywhere I go. If you have young kids, it would be wise to instill self-discipline in them.
My daughters have a tendency to pop a movie in the TV and then go do other things, leaving the TV and lights on when they are elsewhere. I now charge them a dollar each every time it happens. (Don't tell them, but I put the dollars back in their piggy bank when they aren't looking.) The reason I do it is to teach them to value things. They don't want to lose their dollars. Discipline is how they keep their money.
If you've broken your arm in three places, it's best to stay away from those three places. If alcohol is your weakness, stay out of bars. Overeaters should stay away from the local buffet. If you're a couch potato, get out of the house. During the time of my information addiction, I noticed that if I stopped by my house even for a minute, I would turn on the TV and watch news, get ticked off, take longer than was prudent, and try to continue my day. The solution was simple, stop going home, but it was not easy until I decided and admitted I had a problem I had to fix.
Talk about destructive behavior; I was taking the poison from without and destroying myself from within. Changing habits is hard, but if you think of your bad habits as destructive behavior, you will find new motivation. The first step is admitting you have a problem. If you can't do that, you will never get better. Wanting it is not enough, knowing there's something wrong it not enough. You have to admit there is a problem and commit to moving in the right direction.
Lessons:
- You know what's holding you back. Admit it and decide on fixing it so you can move on and move up.
- If you have an addiction - a real addiction like drugs or alcohol or a sex addiction, get help. You are destroying yourself and all that God has blessed you with.
- Lead yourself not into temptation. Stay away from places that allow or encourage destructive behavior. Stay away from people who engage in this behavior.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better
- Today I will begin breaking my addictions
- Today I will make the small changes that will lead to big improvements
- I admit that I am not perfect. I admit that I need to change. I admit I need help doing it. I will be better. I am confessing it with my mouth and believing it in my heart.
It is important to deal with these issues. We don't all have addictions, but most of us have bad habits. Tackle the small, easy ones first. Once you make one small, positive change, the snowball will begin to roll and soon there will be no stopping it. You will be on your way to being the person you were meant to be.
Make it your best day ever. God bless you.
- Adolfo
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It's tough to be addicted - especially to something that is everywhere you look. I can't imagine what that must be like. I am not prone to addiction, my destructive behavior has always been less ritualistic. I don't get drunk, but I have overeaten on many occasions. I tended to lose my temper and destroy (figuratively) anything in my surrounding area. It's been a long time getting it somewhat under control and I am getting better every day. Because my problems are internal, they are everywhere I go. If you have young kids, it would be wise to instill self-discipline in them.
My daughters have a tendency to pop a movie in the TV and then go do other things, leaving the TV and lights on when they are elsewhere. I now charge them a dollar each every time it happens. (Don't tell them, but I put the dollars back in their piggy bank when they aren't looking.) The reason I do it is to teach them to value things. They don't want to lose their dollars. Discipline is how they keep their money.
If you've broken your arm in three places, it's best to stay away from those three places. If alcohol is your weakness, stay out of bars. Overeaters should stay away from the local buffet. If you're a couch potato, get out of the house. During the time of my information addiction, I noticed that if I stopped by my house even for a minute, I would turn on the TV and watch news, get ticked off, take longer than was prudent, and try to continue my day. The solution was simple, stop going home, but it was not easy until I decided and admitted I had a problem I had to fix.
Talk about destructive behavior; I was taking the poison from without and destroying myself from within. Changing habits is hard, but if you think of your bad habits as destructive behavior, you will find new motivation. The first step is admitting you have a problem. If you can't do that, you will never get better. Wanting it is not enough, knowing there's something wrong it not enough. You have to admit there is a problem and commit to moving in the right direction.
Lessons:
- You know what's holding you back. Admit it and decide on fixing it so you can move on and move up.
- If you have an addiction - a real addiction like drugs or alcohol or a sex addiction, get help. You are destroying yourself and all that God has blessed you with.
- Lead yourself not into temptation. Stay away from places that allow or encourage destructive behavior. Stay away from people who engage in this behavior.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better
- Today I will begin breaking my addictions
- Today I will make the small changes that will lead to big improvements
- I admit that I am not perfect. I admit that I need to change. I admit I need help doing it. I will be better. I am confessing it with my mouth and believing it in my heart.
It is important to deal with these issues. We don't all have addictions, but most of us have bad habits. Tackle the small, easy ones first. Once you make one small, positive change, the snowball will begin to roll and soon there will be no stopping it. You will be on your way to being the person you were meant to be.
Make it your best day ever. God bless you.
- Adolfo
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Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Day # 33 - Eliminating things (people) that take your peace
Rome wasn't built in a day - it wasn't burnt in a day either. Every day on this journey is a struggle in one form or another. I make progress, but sometimes I fall. Sometimes I let external factors steal my peace and my joy. The solution is simple: I get back up and keep pushing toward the goal.
I want to talk about peace and business. The two may seem pretty incompatible, but they are very connected. I am involved in several projects and to some tiny extent I am trying to build - or rebuild - something. It's a challenge under perfect circumstances. Impossible when the people with whom you are working, people who should share your goals, seem to sabotage you at every turn. It means you now have two mountains to move. It's enough to make you crazy.
I am experiencing this. The truth is, I always have. I have often found myself in situations where someone has their own agenda and is willing to destroy everything the rest of the team is working for in order to advance it. I have dealt with it in different ways, and I have found the most effective way to deal with it is to remove them from the situation. Always begin with a conversation - a warning if you will. If this doesn't work, bring out the scalpel. Most projects or businesses are stressful enough without keeping the problem children around.
When I was still chair of the chamber, I had two problem children on the board. I removed them both in different ways. One of them was so passive-aggressive and destructive that I called him in for "Come To Jesus" early one morning. He came in twenty minutes late and told me he had done so on purpose. At this point, I knew there was no saving the relationship, but I tried anyway. It ended with me standing over him, calling him every name in the book, and asking him outside.To this day, no one has heard me so much as whisper his name. It was unpleasant, but we got him off the board and we moved on.
The second problem child was handled differently - I isolated her to keep her from destroying morale. She was hyper-negative but hadn't really given me grounds to dismiss her. She did less and less, showed up less and less, and eventually her term ended and I made the decision not to give her another - although she had asked for one.
The goal each time was peace. You eliminate the cancer. You turn down the noise. You take out the trash. If you can't get rid of it, tune it out. Go on about your business and ask God to grant you the peace necessary to be an effective happy person. It can go any way you want it to: you can let them decide what your day will be like or you can chart your own course. It's a no brainer. But you will never chart your own course if you let these human icebergs sink your ship. Sometimes you're going to have to go around them, sometimes you'll run into them full speed, and sometimes you'll have to wait for sunshine and time to melt them out of your way.
Whatever course of action makes sense, do not let the iceberg win. If you do, you will never have peace. And then your ship is really sunk. I know we should try to love our fellow man, but sometimes they are not ready to be loved. Those are times when you have to look out for number one, and trust that this person will find their own iceberg. We are all deserving of love, but we have to be ready to accept it or it will slide off of us unnoticed.
Lessons:
- Peace is integral to success and happiness. It is also a choice.
- Problem people are a drag. Make an honest effort to change the situation. If it doesn't work, move on. Their time will come.
- Be honest. Make sure you're not the problem.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better
- I will find inner peace by eliminating outer distractions
- I will help people find the peace I desire for myself
Finding peace is like saving money: simple but not easy. Focus on your goal. Focus on creating peace for yourself and for those around you. When your thoughts turn angry, stop your mind by saying, "cancel" or "stop." It seems silly but it works. Soon, the negative, peace-stealing thoughts will be gone for good. Simple. Not easy.
Make it your best day yet. God bless you.
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I want to talk about peace and business. The two may seem pretty incompatible, but they are very connected. I am involved in several projects and to some tiny extent I am trying to build - or rebuild - something. It's a challenge under perfect circumstances. Impossible when the people with whom you are working, people who should share your goals, seem to sabotage you at every turn. It means you now have two mountains to move. It's enough to make you crazy.
I am experiencing this. The truth is, I always have. I have often found myself in situations where someone has their own agenda and is willing to destroy everything the rest of the team is working for in order to advance it. I have dealt with it in different ways, and I have found the most effective way to deal with it is to remove them from the situation. Always begin with a conversation - a warning if you will. If this doesn't work, bring out the scalpel. Most projects or businesses are stressful enough without keeping the problem children around.
When I was still chair of the chamber, I had two problem children on the board. I removed them both in different ways. One of them was so passive-aggressive and destructive that I called him in for "Come To Jesus" early one morning. He came in twenty minutes late and told me he had done so on purpose. At this point, I knew there was no saving the relationship, but I tried anyway. It ended with me standing over him, calling him every name in the book, and asking him outside.To this day, no one has heard me so much as whisper his name. It was unpleasant, but we got him off the board and we moved on.
The second problem child was handled differently - I isolated her to keep her from destroying morale. She was hyper-negative but hadn't really given me grounds to dismiss her. She did less and less, showed up less and less, and eventually her term ended and I made the decision not to give her another - although she had asked for one.
The goal each time was peace. You eliminate the cancer. You turn down the noise. You take out the trash. If you can't get rid of it, tune it out. Go on about your business and ask God to grant you the peace necessary to be an effective happy person. It can go any way you want it to: you can let them decide what your day will be like or you can chart your own course. It's a no brainer. But you will never chart your own course if you let these human icebergs sink your ship. Sometimes you're going to have to go around them, sometimes you'll run into them full speed, and sometimes you'll have to wait for sunshine and time to melt them out of your way.
Whatever course of action makes sense, do not let the iceberg win. If you do, you will never have peace. And then your ship is really sunk. I know we should try to love our fellow man, but sometimes they are not ready to be loved. Those are times when you have to look out for number one, and trust that this person will find their own iceberg. We are all deserving of love, but we have to be ready to accept it or it will slide off of us unnoticed.
Lessons:
- Peace is integral to success and happiness. It is also a choice.
- Problem people are a drag. Make an honest effort to change the situation. If it doesn't work, move on. Their time will come.
- Be honest. Make sure you're not the problem.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better
- I will find inner peace by eliminating outer distractions
- I will help people find the peace I desire for myself
Finding peace is like saving money: simple but not easy. Focus on your goal. Focus on creating peace for yourself and for those around you. When your thoughts turn angry, stop your mind by saying, "cancel" or "stop." It seems silly but it works. Soon, the negative, peace-stealing thoughts will be gone for good. Simple. Not easy.
Make it your best day yet. God bless you.
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Saturday, June 26, 2010
Day # 30 - Where you stand determines where you'll land
Another great day. Except, I allowed myself to get caught up in gossip. It's not so much that I initiated or even participated in it, but I didn't distance myself from it. A willing accomplice and I am not proud of it. When you become a part of something like gossip, you are always hurting yourself and your universe. Again, you don't have to say anything to be affected by it. Think of it as second-hand smoke for the soul. You are absorbing the poisons and toxins that are leaving another person's lungs and making them part of your own. Only they are absorbed psychologically, not physiologically.
You've heard me say it before: Garbage in, garbage out. It applies to the food you eat, the air you breathe, and the words you hear. Listen to sad songs all day and you feel sad. Listen to upbeat music and your heart rate increases. Listen to people who are positive, you will be positive. Listen to people who aren't and... well, you get the point.
You are only as good as you want to be. You are as good as you allow yourself to be and a great deal of what determines this is what you hear, see, eat, drink, and associate with.
Show me who your friends are and I'll show you who you are.
Stand on principles. Whatever your principles are, they cannot be compromised. I am not saying they will never change, but once you decide what they are, they can never be compromised. If you are willing to trade those things closest to what makes you the person you are, then there is nothing you will not trade for a moment of comfort or to be accepted by whoever happens to be around at any given moment. Think bigger. Be an excellent person. Be a person of integrity. Anyone can be popular. My challenge to you is to be better.
I failed at this yesterday and I am learning from the experience but not dwelling on it. If you think I'm overreacting, take a look at yourself. Look at your friends. What do you talk about. WHO do you talk about. Did you ever gossip without looking around first? It doesn't matter where you are, you look over your shoulder first because you know you are doing wrong. You know the subject of your whispers would be hurt if they heard you, but you do it anyway.
But the good news is that there is a simple solution: STOP!
Lessons:
- Where you stand determines where you'll land
- Show me who your friends are and I'll show you who you are
- If you have to hide what you are saying, you probably shouldn't be saying it
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better
- I will avoid gossip and all negative talk
- I will never again be a hypocrite
- I will surround myself with positive people and I will be a positive person
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You've heard me say it before: Garbage in, garbage out. It applies to the food you eat, the air you breathe, and the words you hear. Listen to sad songs all day and you feel sad. Listen to upbeat music and your heart rate increases. Listen to people who are positive, you will be positive. Listen to people who aren't and... well, you get the point.
You are only as good as you want to be. You are as good as you allow yourself to be and a great deal of what determines this is what you hear, see, eat, drink, and associate with.
Show me who your friends are and I'll show you who you are.
Stand on principles. Whatever your principles are, they cannot be compromised. I am not saying they will never change, but once you decide what they are, they can never be compromised. If you are willing to trade those things closest to what makes you the person you are, then there is nothing you will not trade for a moment of comfort or to be accepted by whoever happens to be around at any given moment. Think bigger. Be an excellent person. Be a person of integrity. Anyone can be popular. My challenge to you is to be better.
I failed at this yesterday and I am learning from the experience but not dwelling on it. If you think I'm overreacting, take a look at yourself. Look at your friends. What do you talk about. WHO do you talk about. Did you ever gossip without looking around first? It doesn't matter where you are, you look over your shoulder first because you know you are doing wrong. You know the subject of your whispers would be hurt if they heard you, but you do it anyway.
But the good news is that there is a simple solution: STOP!
Lessons:
- Where you stand determines where you'll land
- Show me who your friends are and I'll show you who you are
- If you have to hide what you are saying, you probably shouldn't be saying it
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better
- I will avoid gossip and all negative talk
- I will never again be a hypocrite
- I will surround myself with positive people and I will be a positive person
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Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Day # 28 - It's a marathon. Not a sprint.
I have never been a patient person. I was always short-tempered, fidgety, it's just my nature. I have no patience. Well, I do now. I am learning it, but it's a long-time habit that won't be broken completely in a mere 28 days. I have been working on improving my patience for a long time and I'm learning tricks. I would like to share them with you.
1. Let it go. Recognize that you can't make everything happen at the speed you want it to happen. Impatience is about not accepting that things are out of your control.
2. Find a distraction. If all you focus on is whatever is causing the impatience, it will only seem worse. For example, if I am ever going any place where I know I'll have to wait, I bring a book. Sure, I could play solitaire on my phone, but that seems like a waste of time.
3. Give yourself time. If you tend to run into traffic every morning, and it causes you stress because you're nervous about being late, give yourself a little time. Listen to a book on CD, use the time wisely. I also find tuning in to classical music helps me. Classical music feeds your imagination in a way that contemporary music just can't.
There are more, but these are the three biggies that pop into mind.
I've been thinking all day about Steve Prefontaine. Prefontaine was a runner who died in the 1970's. He is widely considered to be one of the best runners ever, having won 120 races. I watched a film of his life a couple of years ago and until then I thought running was simply a matter of who was fastest and had the greater endurance. I never would have guessed there was strategy beyond left foot, right foot, repeat.
The truth is there is a lot of strategy that goes into something as simple as a race. There is pacing, there is a time to draft, a time to attack. You need to know what your opponent is doing and what he's capable of. All while pounding the pavement while your lungs overflow with battery acid. For me, a walk to the mailbox is enough to get my lungs aching, but I'm no Prefontaine.
I am impatient. I know that I have a long way to go before my year is up and even longer to be the man I wish to be. My goals are a million miles away and while I am traveling at high speed and have plenty of fuel for the journey, I am becoming bored and my impatience, my ridiculous impatience, is rearing its ugly head.
I know this is a test. I know that this is another withdrawal symptom. I know this is not failure or even a stumbling block. It's part of the detoxification of my character. It's a part of the cleansing of my mind, body, and soul.
Knowing it's a test is no guarantee that I will pass. I know I am vulnerable. I have taken on a lot. In the midst of this experiment, I decided to give up caffeine. It's been 12 days since I've had it and I feel more energized than ever before. In fact, here I am, wide awake. I have not had any fast food in as many days and neither have my children. I am committed to their health and well-being, too. Although, I know they get soda pop at grandma's house. Yeah, I called it soda pop. So what? But in my house, and in my presence, it's water, milk, juice. In that order. We are all feeling better, thank you very much.
So, like a runner, a fat runner with bad knees, I am trudging along. I am tempted to stop and rest, to take a break. No one's watching. No one will ever know, right? Wrong. God knows. I know. This is bigger than one day. This is bigger than one year. This is about all the years that will follow this one. This is about whether the rest of my life will be something of value or just another life.
Lessons:
- It's a marathon. Not a sprint. Plan out the run. Pace yourself.
- There will always be tests. Keep your pencil sharpened and eat a healthy breakfast.
- It's not about the bad. It's about the good. Become a hunter of silver linings.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better.
- I will be patient.
- I will pace myself.
- I will do the right thing because it is the right thing.
Remember, with patience grass becomes milk.
Make it your best day ever. God bless you.
- Adolfo
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1. Let it go. Recognize that you can't make everything happen at the speed you want it to happen. Impatience is about not accepting that things are out of your control.
2. Find a distraction. If all you focus on is whatever is causing the impatience, it will only seem worse. For example, if I am ever going any place where I know I'll have to wait, I bring a book. Sure, I could play solitaire on my phone, but that seems like a waste of time.
3. Give yourself time. If you tend to run into traffic every morning, and it causes you stress because you're nervous about being late, give yourself a little time. Listen to a book on CD, use the time wisely. I also find tuning in to classical music helps me. Classical music feeds your imagination in a way that contemporary music just can't.
There are more, but these are the three biggies that pop into mind.
I've been thinking all day about Steve Prefontaine. Prefontaine was a runner who died in the 1970's. He is widely considered to be one of the best runners ever, having won 120 races. I watched a film of his life a couple of years ago and until then I thought running was simply a matter of who was fastest and had the greater endurance. I never would have guessed there was strategy beyond left foot, right foot, repeat.
The truth is there is a lot of strategy that goes into something as simple as a race. There is pacing, there is a time to draft, a time to attack. You need to know what your opponent is doing and what he's capable of. All while pounding the pavement while your lungs overflow with battery acid. For me, a walk to the mailbox is enough to get my lungs aching, but I'm no Prefontaine.
I am impatient. I know that I have a long way to go before my year is up and even longer to be the man I wish to be. My goals are a million miles away and while I am traveling at high speed and have plenty of fuel for the journey, I am becoming bored and my impatience, my ridiculous impatience, is rearing its ugly head.
I know this is a test. I know that this is another withdrawal symptom. I know this is not failure or even a stumbling block. It's part of the detoxification of my character. It's a part of the cleansing of my mind, body, and soul.
Knowing it's a test is no guarantee that I will pass. I know I am vulnerable. I have taken on a lot. In the midst of this experiment, I decided to give up caffeine. It's been 12 days since I've had it and I feel more energized than ever before. In fact, here I am, wide awake. I have not had any fast food in as many days and neither have my children. I am committed to their health and well-being, too. Although, I know they get soda pop at grandma's house. Yeah, I called it soda pop. So what? But in my house, and in my presence, it's water, milk, juice. In that order. We are all feeling better, thank you very much.
So, like a runner, a fat runner with bad knees, I am trudging along. I am tempted to stop and rest, to take a break. No one's watching. No one will ever know, right? Wrong. God knows. I know. This is bigger than one day. This is bigger than one year. This is about all the years that will follow this one. This is about whether the rest of my life will be something of value or just another life.
Lessons:
- It's a marathon. Not a sprint. Plan out the run. Pace yourself.
- There will always be tests. Keep your pencil sharpened and eat a healthy breakfast.
- It's not about the bad. It's about the good. Become a hunter of silver linings.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better.
- I will be patient.
- I will pace myself.
- I will do the right thing because it is the right thing.
Remember, with patience grass becomes milk.
Make it your best day ever. God bless you.
- Adolfo
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Day # 27 - Stand your ground
Note: Everything write about is inspired by situations I am encountering in my life. These situations are not unique or particularly difficult. In many cases they are everyday situations that we all experience. The difference is in how I react and handle them. Or rather, the difference is in how I don't react.
I am not a pacifist. I believe we live in a world where the best way to preserve peace is by preparing for war. Could you imagine what this world would be like if the United States didn't have most powerful war machine ever to walk the earth? 9/11 would be a daily occurrence. Who knows what language we'd be speaking? The best defense truly is a good offense.
All my life I was very black and white when it came to confrontations. I would either avoid them completely or come down on my adversary with the fury of hell. I think part of the reason I avoided them is beacuse never could control my response. Better to wimp out than freak out, I guess.
Now, I know Christ taught us to turn the other cheek but I'm not sure I'm ready for that. I may never be, though it is a noble goal to become that way. I will say if someone like me can change, anyone can.
Be thoughtful in your responses and firm when stating your positions. Look the person in the eye. Maintain a level tone of voice. Stand or sit up straight (you should do this anyway) to show you are confident and sure of your argument. Focus on the other person, and smile when you feel like pouncing. The simple act of smiling, even if initially forced, will send a calming signal through your body and to your brain. It will literally change your attitude. It can also throw your opponent off his game. Relax your forehead and your shoulders. Don't cross your arms tightly or wring your hands. Stay relaxed so your eyes remain serene in their appearance. All of these actions will have the effect of making you feel the way you are acting.
It's a fool-proof way of being the bigger person without being a wimp.
My government saga from Monday isn't over after all. I need to speak to one of the bureacrats to resolve one last issue. I've called her twice (once per day) with no response. I will call her again today, and if necessary I will call her again tomorrow. If this doesn't work, I will call her at least twice on Friday. I will increase the number of calls per day until my issue is resolved or I am arrested for stalking, but I will be kind and gentle throughout.
Maybe it's because I am a libertarian, but I have always been hostile when it comes to dealing with the government. I have seen too much corruption and sloth and waste. These things offend me. While I will be persistent in my attempts to contact this lady, I will be polite, never threatening or rude. I represent almighty God, and as His ambassador, I must be on my best behavior at all times. I'll let you know how that goes.
Lessons:
- Be confident. Never walk into a situation without preparing for it as best you can.
- Leave emotion out of it. Bullies are angry. Wimps are frightened. Both suck.
- Relax. Everything comes out better when you are relaxed.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better
- Today I will learn to confront my adversaries and kill them with kindness
- I will always be persistent in pursuit of my goals
Keep your eyes on the prize. Keep the right attitude. Stand your ground. The world is waiting for you, all you have to do is have the confidence to go out and stake your claim.
Make it your best day ever. God bless you.
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I am not a pacifist. I believe we live in a world where the best way to preserve peace is by preparing for war. Could you imagine what this world would be like if the United States didn't have most powerful war machine ever to walk the earth? 9/11 would be a daily occurrence. Who knows what language we'd be speaking? The best defense truly is a good offense.
All my life I was very black and white when it came to confrontations. I would either avoid them completely or come down on my adversary with the fury of hell. I think part of the reason I avoided them is beacuse never could control my response. Better to wimp out than freak out, I guess.
Now, I know Christ taught us to turn the other cheek but I'm not sure I'm ready for that. I may never be, though it is a noble goal to become that way. I will say if someone like me can change, anyone can.
Be thoughtful in your responses and firm when stating your positions. Look the person in the eye. Maintain a level tone of voice. Stand or sit up straight (you should do this anyway) to show you are confident and sure of your argument. Focus on the other person, and smile when you feel like pouncing. The simple act of smiling, even if initially forced, will send a calming signal through your body and to your brain. It will literally change your attitude. It can also throw your opponent off his game. Relax your forehead and your shoulders. Don't cross your arms tightly or wring your hands. Stay relaxed so your eyes remain serene in their appearance. All of these actions will have the effect of making you feel the way you are acting.
It's a fool-proof way of being the bigger person without being a wimp.
My government saga from Monday isn't over after all. I need to speak to one of the bureacrats to resolve one last issue. I've called her twice (once per day) with no response. I will call her again today, and if necessary I will call her again tomorrow. If this doesn't work, I will call her at least twice on Friday. I will increase the number of calls per day until my issue is resolved or I am arrested for stalking, but I will be kind and gentle throughout.
Maybe it's because I am a libertarian, but I have always been hostile when it comes to dealing with the government. I have seen too much corruption and sloth and waste. These things offend me. While I will be persistent in my attempts to contact this lady, I will be polite, never threatening or rude. I represent almighty God, and as His ambassador, I must be on my best behavior at all times. I'll let you know how that goes.
Lessons:
- Be confident. Never walk into a situation without preparing for it as best you can.
- Leave emotion out of it. Bullies are angry. Wimps are frightened. Both suck.
- Relax. Everything comes out better when you are relaxed.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better
- Today I will learn to confront my adversaries and kill them with kindness
- I will always be persistent in pursuit of my goals
Keep your eyes on the prize. Keep the right attitude. Stand your ground. The world is waiting for you, all you have to do is have the confidence to go out and stake your claim.
Make it your best day ever. God bless you.
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Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Day # 26 - Tuning in to the right inner voice (or drill sergeant)
I kept busy yesterday so there was not a lot of opportunity to work on me. Or so it would seem. My day began in Downtown Miami. If you've never been to Miami, it's like Havana with less English speaking people.
I had business with the government down there. Anyone who knows me knows I dislike government in all its form. I dislike the inefficiency, the coldness, the lack of service, the laziness it instills in the bureaucrats it ensnares. Rough way to start a Monday.
I drove south on I-95 to get downtown. I arrived in Miami, parked about six blocks from where I needed to be and walked - in the rain. I managed to arrive early, but I wasn't going to sit in this tiny room so I went outside to make phone calls and breathe. I came up ten minutes later to find myself in a sardine can. A rent-a-cop with an attitude yelling for the people with 8:30 appointments (it's now 9:05.)
I deal with the bureaucrat, who can't even tell me the phone number to the department I need to contact. No sympathy, no sense of caring. Just no. Mama, don't let your babies grow up to be government workers.
I had to make a payment. She matter-of-factly tells me that they don't give change. I smile and tell her the government has taken a piece of every dollar I've ever earned. Go ahead and keep the last one. I will get the dollar back. They'll mail me a check. One dollar. They will spend at least another dollar to give me a buck that could have been handed to me right then and there.
The reason for this rant is to talk about discipline. I was in what is (to me) a hostile environment, in an unpleasant situation, being treated like a criminal for doing nothing more than paying my honest debts and doing so out of my own free will, without any coercion or outside influence. This experience, which I am condensing in the interest of not writing "War and Peace" this morning, was enough to make me want to lose it, but why step backwards. Why let the joylessness that coarsed through these poor people's veins infect me?
I was only 9:20 when I left and I would not let the experience set the tone for the rest of my day.
That's where the drill sergeant stepped in. I am teaching the voice in my head (voices, really) to tell me the things I need to hear, not the things I used to hear. I walked through that big city and admired the beauty and the history of the place. I read signs and smiled at the sky because the rain had passed and the sun was sucking up the water. I didn't see a rainbow, but I didn't need to.
I bounced along the street and told myself I was finally getting a little exercise, which I haven't been getting enough of for the last twenty years or so. I found the bright side and I embraced it.
I am late this morning because I didn't (and still don't) feel like writing today. I want to stay in bed. But here I am. I made a commitment and with over 330 days to go, it's too early to be tired. That's listening to the inner drill sergeant.
Lessons:
- You determine what kind of day your going to have. No one can ruin your day but you.
- The voices in your head are like a radio. Tune out the negative ones. Find the positive ones.
- When life gives you rain, look for rainbows.
- Try to find the beauty in ordinary things.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way, I am getting better and better.
- Today, I will begin to shut out the negative thoughts. I will slap them away until they don't come back.
- Today, I will seek out the positive the way I used to seek out the negative.
There are two sides to every coin and there are several possible outcomes to every situation. The X factor is your attitude. Decide to be happy. Yes, it is a choice.
Make it your best day ever. God bless you.
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I had business with the government down there. Anyone who knows me knows I dislike government in all its form. I dislike the inefficiency, the coldness, the lack of service, the laziness it instills in the bureaucrats it ensnares. Rough way to start a Monday.
I drove south on I-95 to get downtown. I arrived in Miami, parked about six blocks from where I needed to be and walked - in the rain. I managed to arrive early, but I wasn't going to sit in this tiny room so I went outside to make phone calls and breathe. I came up ten minutes later to find myself in a sardine can. A rent-a-cop with an attitude yelling for the people with 8:30 appointments (it's now 9:05.)
I deal with the bureaucrat, who can't even tell me the phone number to the department I need to contact. No sympathy, no sense of caring. Just no. Mama, don't let your babies grow up to be government workers.
I had to make a payment. She matter-of-factly tells me that they don't give change. I smile and tell her the government has taken a piece of every dollar I've ever earned. Go ahead and keep the last one. I will get the dollar back. They'll mail me a check. One dollar. They will spend at least another dollar to give me a buck that could have been handed to me right then and there.
The reason for this rant is to talk about discipline. I was in what is (to me) a hostile environment, in an unpleasant situation, being treated like a criminal for doing nothing more than paying my honest debts and doing so out of my own free will, without any coercion or outside influence. This experience, which I am condensing in the interest of not writing "War and Peace" this morning, was enough to make me want to lose it, but why step backwards. Why let the joylessness that coarsed through these poor people's veins infect me?
I was only 9:20 when I left and I would not let the experience set the tone for the rest of my day.
That's where the drill sergeant stepped in. I am teaching the voice in my head (voices, really) to tell me the things I need to hear, not the things I used to hear. I walked through that big city and admired the beauty and the history of the place. I read signs and smiled at the sky because the rain had passed and the sun was sucking up the water. I didn't see a rainbow, but I didn't need to.
I bounced along the street and told myself I was finally getting a little exercise, which I haven't been getting enough of for the last twenty years or so. I found the bright side and I embraced it.
I am late this morning because I didn't (and still don't) feel like writing today. I want to stay in bed. But here I am. I made a commitment and with over 330 days to go, it's too early to be tired. That's listening to the inner drill sergeant.
Lessons:
- You determine what kind of day your going to have. No one can ruin your day but you.
- The voices in your head are like a radio. Tune out the negative ones. Find the positive ones.
- When life gives you rain, look for rainbows.
- Try to find the beauty in ordinary things.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way, I am getting better and better.
- Today, I will begin to shut out the negative thoughts. I will slap them away until they don't come back.
- Today, I will seek out the positive the way I used to seek out the negative.
There are two sides to every coin and there are several possible outcomes to every situation. The X factor is your attitude. Decide to be happy. Yes, it is a choice.
Make it your best day ever. God bless you.
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Monday, June 21, 2010
Day # 25 - So what if it's Father's Day?
Okay, so I got a really nice shirt and a beautiful necktie. Loved them both. Of course, I don't wear ties to work anymore so let me know if anyone's having a wedding I can crash. It was sweet to be with the girls in the morning. AJ came by and spent the afternoon with us and helped me with some work I had to do (yes, I worked on Father's Day - business owners understand.)
AJ is 18 today. We talked about what he's going to do now that high school is fading into glory day status and the future beckons. He mentioned going to school in Europe. I think it's a wonderful idea and I support him a hundred percent. Of course, I immediately shifted into Dad mode, talking about how he needs to find and apply to schools now because we are in the post 9-11 world and the processing could take months if not years and on and on I went.
I think I over did it. He shut down on me. I forget how much like me he is. I also was reminded of how much like my father I am so I know that this will correct itself with time.
Yesterday I wrote about sharing your wisdom. I guess I should have mentioned that sharing and force-feeding are not the same thing. He is a very mature (now 18 year old) boy. Wise beyond his years. But he is still my child and I feel like I have to help him. Sometimes the best way to help is by not helping at all. Sometimes you just have to be there and hope you have answers when they have questions.
When AJ's mother and I went our separate ways, I went into a deep depression. Steven, my oldest, was in New York and I new nothing of him, my marriage had fallen apart, and I was alone, living in my mother's house, divorced with two sons in two different states. I was 21 years old.
I was a high school dropout. I quit my job because I was working for the uncle of the woman who'd just left me. Honestly, that part is hazy. I don't remember how it happened. All I do know is I was unemployed.
In my depression, only one thing kept me together, and that was AJ. I call him Junior, but he now prefers AJ. He kept me from going off the deep end. He kept me sane. He kept me from doing anything stupid.
The point of this is: That while I had failed at so many things by the time I was old enough to have a beer, it was something that was added to my life by a power bigger than myself, something that I didn't ask for or expect, that made my life worth living. It was because of AJ that I didn't give up. Eventually I would drive to New York and reconnect with Steven. I would earn my GED and go to college. I would climb the corporate and social ladder, start businesses, write, and lead organizations. All because a little boy who had no idea how much he meant to his father was placed in my care. All because God entrusted me with one of his angels.
Lessons:
- Tell your parents you love them.
- Tell your children you love them. Tell them as part of your greeting and when you say good-bye. Say it out of the blue. It means more than you know.
- Fathers: You are the model for the man your daughters will marry and the man your sons will be.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better.
- Today I will be the parent my children deserve.
- Today I will be the child my parents deserve.
- I am blessed with infinite love, and I will share it.
- I am a positive role model for my children.
When I started writing this morning, I had no ide where I would go with this. It's all stream-of-consciousness, and I don't edit. If it doesn't make sense, that is why. If it does, then that is why.
Make it your best day ever. God bless you.
- Adolfo
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AJ is 18 today. We talked about what he's going to do now that high school is fading into glory day status and the future beckons. He mentioned going to school in Europe. I think it's a wonderful idea and I support him a hundred percent. Of course, I immediately shifted into Dad mode, talking about how he needs to find and apply to schools now because we are in the post 9-11 world and the processing could take months if not years and on and on I went.
I think I over did it. He shut down on me. I forget how much like me he is. I also was reminded of how much like my father I am so I know that this will correct itself with time.
Yesterday I wrote about sharing your wisdom. I guess I should have mentioned that sharing and force-feeding are not the same thing. He is a very mature (now 18 year old) boy. Wise beyond his years. But he is still my child and I feel like I have to help him. Sometimes the best way to help is by not helping at all. Sometimes you just have to be there and hope you have answers when they have questions.
When AJ's mother and I went our separate ways, I went into a deep depression. Steven, my oldest, was in New York and I new nothing of him, my marriage had fallen apart, and I was alone, living in my mother's house, divorced with two sons in two different states. I was 21 years old.
I was a high school dropout. I quit my job because I was working for the uncle of the woman who'd just left me. Honestly, that part is hazy. I don't remember how it happened. All I do know is I was unemployed.
In my depression, only one thing kept me together, and that was AJ. I call him Junior, but he now prefers AJ. He kept me from going off the deep end. He kept me sane. He kept me from doing anything stupid.
The point of this is: That while I had failed at so many things by the time I was old enough to have a beer, it was something that was added to my life by a power bigger than myself, something that I didn't ask for or expect, that made my life worth living. It was because of AJ that I didn't give up. Eventually I would drive to New York and reconnect with Steven. I would earn my GED and go to college. I would climb the corporate and social ladder, start businesses, write, and lead organizations. All because a little boy who had no idea how much he meant to his father was placed in my care. All because God entrusted me with one of his angels.
Lessons:
- Tell your parents you love them.
- Tell your children you love them. Tell them as part of your greeting and when you say good-bye. Say it out of the blue. It means more than you know.
- Fathers: You are the model for the man your daughters will marry and the man your sons will be.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better.
- Today I will be the parent my children deserve.
- Today I will be the child my parents deserve.
- I am blessed with infinite love, and I will share it.
- I am a positive role model for my children.
When I started writing this morning, I had no ide where I would go with this. It's all stream-of-consciousness, and I don't edit. If it doesn't make sense, that is why. If it does, then that is why.
Make it your best day ever. God bless you.
- Adolfo
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Sunday, June 20, 2010
Day # 24 - It's not wisdom until you share it.
People who have known me for a long time have been asking me what exactly it is I am trying to accomplish. The truth is, I don't know. This is not like constructing a building, where you begin with plans and drawings and models. Sure, I have specific goals related to my career, my income, and my level of productivitiy, but I have no way of rendering a model of what the end result will be. Partly because I know it will be better than I imagine.
I spent the day with my son A.J. yesterday. We went to a reptile show at my hotel and worked for a while. We chatted like we always had and I shared my experience like I always have. My words leave me as experience, he absorbs them as wisdom. For better or worse, this is just the way it is. A.J. will be 18 tomorrow. It's hard to wrap your head around it. Your kids grow up and you grow old and both happen without your permission. We cannot stop the forward march of time, but we can make that time count.
Once you are a parent and responsible for the development of someone other than yourself, you owe it to them to be the best person you can be and the best mentor you can be. Becoming a parent is the best cure for self-centeredness, shortsightedness, and irresponsibility I have ever encountered. So my boy becomes a man tomorrow. I have shared my limited wisdom with him and tried to make him learn from my mistakes even as I know, he has to make his own.
I've often told my sons (my oldest, Steven, will be twenty in September) that their sisters (ages 7 and 4) got a better father than they did. It's not a matter of me loving the younger ones more. It's a matter of maturity, experience, and yes, wisdom.
I am not implying that I am wise. Socrates said, "All I know is that I know nothing." How right he was. There is always more to know and the human factor guarantees that we will always find a way to screw up and that's fine. When our children get a glimpse of our humanity, they learn from our mistakes, and develop the wisdom they in turn will share with their children.
I like to say school is where you go for training, Life is where you get your education. I'd like to think my kids are in life's Ivy League, and that I'm at least a teacher's aide, if not the dean.
Lessons:
- Share your wisdom. You can't take it with you, but you can leave it behind and live forever.
- Accept that you know nothing. Learning never ends.
- Strive to be your best - people who love you deserve it.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better.
- I am learning every day. My education has only just begun.
- I will share my experience, that others may benefit from it.
Happy Father's Day to the dads out there. Remember, you are the man your sons will want to be, and the man your daughters will want to marry.
Make this your best day yet. God bless you.
-Adolfo
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I spent the day with my son A.J. yesterday. We went to a reptile show at my hotel and worked for a while. We chatted like we always had and I shared my experience like I always have. My words leave me as experience, he absorbs them as wisdom. For better or worse, this is just the way it is. A.J. will be 18 tomorrow. It's hard to wrap your head around it. Your kids grow up and you grow old and both happen without your permission. We cannot stop the forward march of time, but we can make that time count.
Once you are a parent and responsible for the development of someone other than yourself, you owe it to them to be the best person you can be and the best mentor you can be. Becoming a parent is the best cure for self-centeredness, shortsightedness, and irresponsibility I have ever encountered. So my boy becomes a man tomorrow. I have shared my limited wisdom with him and tried to make him learn from my mistakes even as I know, he has to make his own.
I've often told my sons (my oldest, Steven, will be twenty in September) that their sisters (ages 7 and 4) got a better father than they did. It's not a matter of me loving the younger ones more. It's a matter of maturity, experience, and yes, wisdom.
I am not implying that I am wise. Socrates said, "All I know is that I know nothing." How right he was. There is always more to know and the human factor guarantees that we will always find a way to screw up and that's fine. When our children get a glimpse of our humanity, they learn from our mistakes, and develop the wisdom they in turn will share with their children.
I like to say school is where you go for training, Life is where you get your education. I'd like to think my kids are in life's Ivy League, and that I'm at least a teacher's aide, if not the dean.
Lessons:
- Share your wisdom. You can't take it with you, but you can leave it behind and live forever.
- Accept that you know nothing. Learning never ends.
- Strive to be your best - people who love you deserve it.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better.
- I am learning every day. My education has only just begun.
- I will share my experience, that others may benefit from it.
Happy Father's Day to the dads out there. Remember, you are the man your sons will want to be, and the man your daughters will want to marry.
Make this your best day yet. God bless you.
-Adolfo
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Saturday, June 19, 2010
Day # 23 - I am (like) GOD!
Update: I slept. Man did I sleep. I haven't slept like I did last night in years. I got home around eight o'clock and by 9:30 I was knocked out. I just got out of bed a little before seven. Headache gone - feeling like a million bucks. Well, maybe several million.
If you open a tomato, pull out a seed and plant it, what grows? A tomato. Same goes for apples, watermelons, and anything else. You are a part of what you come from. Why does a mother feel the way she does for her child? Because this child was conceived and grew within her body, took its nourishment from her, and the mother is the first person a child touches or is touched by. There is a bond there that cannot be denied. Even if there is something wrong with the mother or the child. A prostitute or meth addict who has children, when asked about her regrets, will speak longingly of her child. She could go years without seeing her child and still recognize her baby's face on a crowded street. It's your parentage that decides your eye color, hair color, height, personality, abilities, tendencies, and everything else that makes you the unique being that you are.
That bond can be stretched, strained, and stressed, but never ultimately broken.
Now, let's talk about this in a more spiritual sense.
We come from God, do we not? Deny it if you wish, you're only fooling yourself. I know I came from God. If a tomato seed cannot grow into a pineapple, then I must be a part of what I came from as well. How can I not be a part of God? How can I be less? Why would I want to be? Why would I settle for being something as run of the mill as one of six billion human beings on this planet, when I could be God, Jr.?
Please understand, I am not suggesting that I am God or even a god. I am, however, suggesting that it is my duty to my heavenly father to do my best to be godly. Even an atheist would have to agree that the Ten Commandments are a fine way to live. I can see them having an issue with the first one, but no one in their right mind would argue for lying, killing, stealing, coveting, etc.
I had a very unpleasant conversation with a person yesterday, who says she is a woman of God. I am a bit under the weather and as I was about to answer her, I cleared my throat. She asked if I was about to lie to her. I smiled and let her know that I don't lie, but if I chose to, she would never know. She is the leader of a small church and is a charismatic "educated" woman. Education doesn't come from books - training does. Education comes from life, your parents, and experience. She thinks the alphabet soup that follows her name makes her my superior. This is one high school dropout she doesn't want to mess with!
Religion gets a bad rap when those of us who are a million light years from perfect presume to judge, when we behave like rich brats and look down our noses at others. It's not godlike. It's nonsense. I say, "we" meaning "them." I see things I don't agree with, but I know the best I can do is pray for the best, send people my blessing, and hope the way I'm living is pleasing to God. If it's not, I ask him for his forgiveness.
As you go on your own quest to discover and improve yourself, do not forget where you came from. Do not forget that although your goal may be God, you are merely human, and not fit to pass judgement. I am not trying to convert anyone. I don't feel that particular calling in my life at this point. I am preaching to the converted. Show humility, like Jesus did. Leaders do not stand on the hill, they go into the valley.
Lessons:
- I come from God. I must be like what I came from.
- This body I am occupying is temporary. My life has barely begun.
- I am not fit to judge. Therefore I will not.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better.
- Today I will be more like God.
- Today I will not pass judgement, rather I will look on others with love and compassion.
Get closer to God, and God will come closer to you. There is nothing wrong with living a good life. Imagine, relying on a perfect being instead of elected "leaders" who at every opportunity prove how inadequate they are. Cast your cares on a higher power. You won't be disappointed.
Make it your best day yet. God bless you.
- Adolfo
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If you open a tomato, pull out a seed and plant it, what grows? A tomato. Same goes for apples, watermelons, and anything else. You are a part of what you come from. Why does a mother feel the way she does for her child? Because this child was conceived and grew within her body, took its nourishment from her, and the mother is the first person a child touches or is touched by. There is a bond there that cannot be denied. Even if there is something wrong with the mother or the child. A prostitute or meth addict who has children, when asked about her regrets, will speak longingly of her child. She could go years without seeing her child and still recognize her baby's face on a crowded street. It's your parentage that decides your eye color, hair color, height, personality, abilities, tendencies, and everything else that makes you the unique being that you are.
That bond can be stretched, strained, and stressed, but never ultimately broken.
Now, let's talk about this in a more spiritual sense.
We come from God, do we not? Deny it if you wish, you're only fooling yourself. I know I came from God. If a tomato seed cannot grow into a pineapple, then I must be a part of what I came from as well. How can I not be a part of God? How can I be less? Why would I want to be? Why would I settle for being something as run of the mill as one of six billion human beings on this planet, when I could be God, Jr.?
Please understand, I am not suggesting that I am God or even a god. I am, however, suggesting that it is my duty to my heavenly father to do my best to be godly. Even an atheist would have to agree that the Ten Commandments are a fine way to live. I can see them having an issue with the first one, but no one in their right mind would argue for lying, killing, stealing, coveting, etc.
I had a very unpleasant conversation with a person yesterday, who says she is a woman of God. I am a bit under the weather and as I was about to answer her, I cleared my throat. She asked if I was about to lie to her. I smiled and let her know that I don't lie, but if I chose to, she would never know. She is the leader of a small church and is a charismatic "educated" woman. Education doesn't come from books - training does. Education comes from life, your parents, and experience. She thinks the alphabet soup that follows her name makes her my superior. This is one high school dropout she doesn't want to mess with!
Religion gets a bad rap when those of us who are a million light years from perfect presume to judge, when we behave like rich brats and look down our noses at others. It's not godlike. It's nonsense. I say, "we" meaning "them." I see things I don't agree with, but I know the best I can do is pray for the best, send people my blessing, and hope the way I'm living is pleasing to God. If it's not, I ask him for his forgiveness.
As you go on your own quest to discover and improve yourself, do not forget where you came from. Do not forget that although your goal may be God, you are merely human, and not fit to pass judgement. I am not trying to convert anyone. I don't feel that particular calling in my life at this point. I am preaching to the converted. Show humility, like Jesus did. Leaders do not stand on the hill, they go into the valley.
Lessons:
- I come from God. I must be like what I came from.
- This body I am occupying is temporary. My life has barely begun.
- I am not fit to judge. Therefore I will not.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better.
- Today I will be more like God.
- Today I will not pass judgement, rather I will look on others with love and compassion.
Get closer to God, and God will come closer to you. There is nothing wrong with living a good life. Imagine, relying on a perfect being instead of elected "leaders" who at every opportunity prove how inadequate they are. Cast your cares on a higher power. You won't be disappointed.
Make it your best day yet. God bless you.
- Adolfo
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Thursday, June 17, 2010
Day # 21 - Are we there yet?
I've had a headache since Monday. I also haven't slept all that well since Saturday. I think it's the combination of several things. The new job, being away from my kids after being, essentially, a stay-at-home dad for six months. I also have had no caffeine since Friday. That means today is day 6 within day 21.
Maybe I'm trying to do too much...
Oh well, if you're going to go, go big!
I think the headache is a symptom of withdrawal. Before you roll your eyes, try giving up caffeine, whether in the form of coffee, soda, or tea. It's not easy. I've been consuming it since before I can remember. Pepsi has always been a part of my life. I've been a coffee drinker since I was about 19 (two years - ahem.) These are habits that we don't even know we have. And while I had started slowing down on soda intake years ago, I almost always had coffee in the morning. So when I decided to stop, cold turkey, by the way, they don't make a caffeine patch, I thought it would be easy.
This is hard. The headaches are constant. I have one as we speak. But I also know that if I don't go full-tilt, total commitment, it'll never work.
I told you that to tell you this:
No pain, no gain. I know its cliche`, but that doesn't mean it isn't true.
This whole project started out as me giving up one addiction: news. It has evolved. It is said that it takes 21 days to make or break a habit. I can honestly say that the positive information I have been consuming for the last three weeks has made the news so unpalatable that I may never go back. I may become the word's first right-wing capitalist libertarian hippie.
I walked out of my office yesterday. We have a newspaper dispenser outside the lobby. The front page read:
PRESIDENT PREPARES BATTLE PLAN
There were two other, smaller headlines. I don't remember what they were, but they were equally negative. I used to live for that trash!
I AM CURED!!!!
Now, if I could make my head stop hurting. And, no, I will not be swallowing any aspirin for the headaches. Why stop one drug to replace it with another.
Lessons:
- Time heals all addictions. Even the silly ones. And, by the way, all addictions are bad. Even the silly ones.
- No pain, no gain.
- Do it with your own strength. Remember, there are no shortcuts to any place worth going.
- Headaches come and go.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way, I am getting better and better.
- I will deal with the headaches, for they are the growing pains of my personal development.
- Today, I begin to deal with my addictions.
- I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me.
I am going to lay in the dark for a while and calm this headache. If anyone has a suggestion on how I can naturally deal with it, I'm all ears. Remember that anything is possible if you believe it. A friend of mine once told me, that having anything is possible. The only question is, how bad do you want it?
May today be your best day ever. God bless you.
-Adolfo
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Maybe I'm trying to do too much...
Oh well, if you're going to go, go big!
I think the headache is a symptom of withdrawal. Before you roll your eyes, try giving up caffeine, whether in the form of coffee, soda, or tea. It's not easy. I've been consuming it since before I can remember. Pepsi has always been a part of my life. I've been a coffee drinker since I was about 19 (two years - ahem.) These are habits that we don't even know we have. And while I had started slowing down on soda intake years ago, I almost always had coffee in the morning. So when I decided to stop, cold turkey, by the way, they don't make a caffeine patch, I thought it would be easy.
This is hard. The headaches are constant. I have one as we speak. But I also know that if I don't go full-tilt, total commitment, it'll never work.
I told you that to tell you this:
No pain, no gain. I know its cliche`, but that doesn't mean it isn't true.
This whole project started out as me giving up one addiction: news. It has evolved. It is said that it takes 21 days to make or break a habit. I can honestly say that the positive information I have been consuming for the last three weeks has made the news so unpalatable that I may never go back. I may become the word's first right-wing capitalist libertarian hippie.
I walked out of my office yesterday. We have a newspaper dispenser outside the lobby. The front page read:
PRESIDENT PREPARES BATTLE PLAN
There were two other, smaller headlines. I don't remember what they were, but they were equally negative. I used to live for that trash!
I AM CURED!!!!
Now, if I could make my head stop hurting. And, no, I will not be swallowing any aspirin for the headaches. Why stop one drug to replace it with another.
Lessons:
- Time heals all addictions. Even the silly ones. And, by the way, all addictions are bad. Even the silly ones.
- No pain, no gain.
- Do it with your own strength. Remember, there are no shortcuts to any place worth going.
- Headaches come and go.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way, I am getting better and better.
- I will deal with the headaches, for they are the growing pains of my personal development.
- Today, I begin to deal with my addictions.
- I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me.
I am going to lay in the dark for a while and calm this headache. If anyone has a suggestion on how I can naturally deal with it, I'm all ears. Remember that anything is possible if you believe it. A friend of mine once told me, that having anything is possible. The only question is, how bad do you want it?
May today be your best day ever. God bless you.
-Adolfo
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Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Day # 20 - Making the moment count.
So, here I am. It's 1:46 AM as I begin to write this. I am exhausted so I hope this will be coherent. If it's not, apologize do truly I. Okay, so exhaustion doesn't make me witty. I get it. Let's move on. I have had insomnia for years. I have a hyperactive mind and it screams during the small hours. Often I supress it and get my five or six (or more) hours and all's good. Other times it becomes too much work to sleep and well, here we are...
I could lay in bed, staring at the darkness, allowing my mind to wander, but I am not at a point where a wandering mind would necessarily be a good thing. I am still learning to master my thoughts and train my mind. So, until I learn to calm the voices in my head, I let them tell me what to write.
I am making these moments count.
I started a new job on Monday and it's, shall we say, challenging. I know the stress and pressure of the new job have to do with it, and it will pass as I settle in, but since I can't fight it - I embrace it.
You may be wondering, so I'll answer: because I don't like taking pills. MaybeI should have had a cup of tea. I will definitely start the tea thing. Chamomille, perhaps.
But what I am doing with these hours is something we should do with every moment in our lives. Don't waste your time. You never get it back. Don't watch the news - again. Don't stare at the TV when there's nothing on. Of course you do that. We've all griped that there's nothing good on TV while sitting our butts on the couch and continuing to watch the nothing.
Pick up a book, for God's sake! It will not kill you, I promise. Unless you pick it up while driving or operating heavy machinery in which case it could kill you, or injure you. But seriously. I know most of you reading this read books - or have in the past. If you've gotten out of that habit, get back into it. Ease into it with an old favorite. I recommend "Green Eggs and Ham," by Dr. Seuss. I mean it. One of the best books I've ever read and I've read thousands of them.
Please understand, I am not talking about any time you can't sleep. I am talking about finding time where you think you don't have any. And I don't mean the only way to spend this time is by reading. Spend time with your family. Take a walk. Work out. Have a conversation with someone you love. Make the moment count.
NEWS FLASH: You ain't gonna live forever. You hear it all the time. No one lays on their deathbed wishing they had watched more TV or spent more time in the office. They would all trade everything they had for more time - with family, friends, lovers, hobbies. The good news is that you don't have to wait until you're on your way out. Make the choice now.
I don't want to die with regrets. Do you? I don't want to wonder what could have been. I don't want to look at my kids and wonder where the time went. I want to look at them and remember how we spent the time.
Lessons:
- Live each day to the fullest.
- Make time for what truly matters. Who cares about the damn oil spill?
- In real life, there are no reruns. If you miss something, you've missed it forever.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day, in every way, I am getting better and better.
- Today, I will begin making each moment count.
- Today, I will align my time with my priorities.
- Today, I will take time wasted on the banal and invest it in tomorrow's memories.
I think I'll read a bit and try to get a few hours of sleep. Very few. I don't want to miss anything.
Make it your best day ever! God bless you.
- Adolfo
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I could lay in bed, staring at the darkness, allowing my mind to wander, but I am not at a point where a wandering mind would necessarily be a good thing. I am still learning to master my thoughts and train my mind. So, until I learn to calm the voices in my head, I let them tell me what to write.
I am making these moments count.
I started a new job on Monday and it's, shall we say, challenging. I know the stress and pressure of the new job have to do with it, and it will pass as I settle in, but since I can't fight it - I embrace it.
You may be wondering, so I'll answer: because I don't like taking pills. MaybeI should have had a cup of tea. I will definitely start the tea thing. Chamomille, perhaps.
But what I am doing with these hours is something we should do with every moment in our lives. Don't waste your time. You never get it back. Don't watch the news - again. Don't stare at the TV when there's nothing on. Of course you do that. We've all griped that there's nothing good on TV while sitting our butts on the couch and continuing to watch the nothing.
Pick up a book, for God's sake! It will not kill you, I promise. Unless you pick it up while driving or operating heavy machinery in which case it could kill you, or injure you. But seriously. I know most of you reading this read books - or have in the past. If you've gotten out of that habit, get back into it. Ease into it with an old favorite. I recommend "Green Eggs and Ham," by Dr. Seuss. I mean it. One of the best books I've ever read and I've read thousands of them.
Please understand, I am not talking about any time you can't sleep. I am talking about finding time where you think you don't have any. And I don't mean the only way to spend this time is by reading. Spend time with your family. Take a walk. Work out. Have a conversation with someone you love. Make the moment count.
NEWS FLASH: You ain't gonna live forever. You hear it all the time. No one lays on their deathbed wishing they had watched more TV or spent more time in the office. They would all trade everything they had for more time - with family, friends, lovers, hobbies. The good news is that you don't have to wait until you're on your way out. Make the choice now.
I don't want to die with regrets. Do you? I don't want to wonder what could have been. I don't want to look at my kids and wonder where the time went. I want to look at them and remember how we spent the time.
Lessons:
- Live each day to the fullest.
- Make time for what truly matters. Who cares about the damn oil spill?
- In real life, there are no reruns. If you miss something, you've missed it forever.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day, in every way, I am getting better and better.
- Today, I will begin making each moment count.
- Today, I will align my time with my priorities.
- Today, I will take time wasted on the banal and invest it in tomorrow's memories.
I think I'll read a bit and try to get a few hours of sleep. Very few. I don't want to miss anything.
Make it your best day ever! God bless you.
- Adolfo
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Saturday, June 12, 2010
Day # 17 - Glass houses. Friends as mirrors. Boundaries equal priorities.
I have to admit, I am sluggish this morning. I told myself that if I didn't write no one would care. That may be true in a way. Maybe no one else will care if I skip a day or if I quit altogether. But, sorry for the way this will sound, this isn't about you, it's about me. I made a commitment to see this thing through and I will. To take a day off would be failure. So, if you're reading this, thank you. If it's not my best work, know that it is my best effort.
I spoke with an old friend yesterday. We spoke for close to an hour and it was probably one of the best conversations she and I have had in our relationship. We're talking 15 years. I realized how alike she and I are. I would always give her a hard time because she would have a victim mentality. I thought she had an overall negative outlook on life, and although I never told her this, I believed she brought these things on herself. Now, I know she brought these things on herself.
I also realized how alike she and I were (are.)
Where she would allow the negative things to bring her down, I allowed them to amp me up - in a negative way. My angry to her sad. Neither is productive. Both are destructive. I came to realize the things that disappointed my about my friend were things that exist in me. I was projecting.
The conversation we had yesterday was unlike any I can remember having. We talked about my blog and what this exercise means to me, we talked about how I'm changing. And we talked about how she's handling her feelings and how she's changing. Go figure. We had to grow up in order to start growing up.
I realize I was judging her and I know that I am no one to judge. That's up to God and people who were black robes and take themselves seriously. It's time to rebuild my glass house.
People, friends in particular, serve as mirrors. Sometimes, we need to examine the way we may feel about a friend or relative in order to take a look inside ourselves. Are we seeing the person as they are, or are we seeing them as we are? If there are things about your friends that you don't like, you should maybe examine why you're still friends. Is this person more messed up than you are? If so, you might hang around them to feel bigger. If this is the case, it is your obligation as human being and a friend to help build this person up. Tell them why they are special to you. I am not a believer in the "everybody is special" politically correct nonsense. But I do believe that we are all blessed with certain gifts and talents and we sin against our Creator when we let them go to waste.
She mentioned something in our conversation about her job that I want to share with you. Now, I have always known her as a workaholic. She is a very talented, educated person and she works very well. She was my boss on two different occasions so I witnessed firsthand the passion with which she approaches her work. When we spoke yesterday (Friday) she was home with her kids. That was impossible way back when. She was always glued to her office.
She is with a new company now and she said one thing she did right off the bat was set boundaries. She is, barring a catastrophe, out the door by 5:00 to go pick up her kids and take them home to have dinner as a family. She used to try to find an alternative for the kids. Now, she finds an alternative for her work. She shifted priorities by setting boundaries. She sounded happier than she ever had before. I could even hear it in her kids' voices.
I'm proud of my friend. She is doing well. I'm afraid she may be growing up (I will never make that mistake.) Most of all, I feel good because I know she is getting better. I know that if she keeps changing her attitude, she will receive the blessings which have eluded her for so long.
Lessons:
- When you make a commitment, keep it. Even if you don't feel like it.
- Old friends (and new ones) are not only there to listen, they are there to be heard.
- If you live in a glass house, don't throw stones. Oh, and invest in a robe and curtains.
- If you're having trouble prioritizing, set boundaries, it's a great first step.
- Kids grow up. Enjoy them now.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way, I am getting better and better.
- Today I will not judge others.
- Today I will be a friend to someone who needs one.
- Today I will sort out my priorities by setting boundaries in my work, social, and personal life.
There's an old poem, I don't know who wrote it, which says:
Think most where man's fortune begins and where it ends
And think mine was that I had such friends
Nobody does it alone. You and I are no exception. You have a friend who needs your help. You know who it is. Pick up the phone and call this person. Listen to them. Build them up. Be there for them. You will be doing more for yourself in the process than you can imagine.
Make it your best day yet. God bless you.
Adolfo
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I spoke with an old friend yesterday. We spoke for close to an hour and it was probably one of the best conversations she and I have had in our relationship. We're talking 15 years. I realized how alike she and I are. I would always give her a hard time because she would have a victim mentality. I thought she had an overall negative outlook on life, and although I never told her this, I believed she brought these things on herself. Now, I know she brought these things on herself.
I also realized how alike she and I were (are.)
Where she would allow the negative things to bring her down, I allowed them to amp me up - in a negative way. My angry to her sad. Neither is productive. Both are destructive. I came to realize the things that disappointed my about my friend were things that exist in me. I was projecting.
The conversation we had yesterday was unlike any I can remember having. We talked about my blog and what this exercise means to me, we talked about how I'm changing. And we talked about how she's handling her feelings and how she's changing. Go figure. We had to grow up in order to start growing up.
I realize I was judging her and I know that I am no one to judge. That's up to God and people who were black robes and take themselves seriously. It's time to rebuild my glass house.
People, friends in particular, serve as mirrors. Sometimes, we need to examine the way we may feel about a friend or relative in order to take a look inside ourselves. Are we seeing the person as they are, or are we seeing them as we are? If there are things about your friends that you don't like, you should maybe examine why you're still friends. Is this person more messed up than you are? If so, you might hang around them to feel bigger. If this is the case, it is your obligation as human being and a friend to help build this person up. Tell them why they are special to you. I am not a believer in the "everybody is special" politically correct nonsense. But I do believe that we are all blessed with certain gifts and talents and we sin against our Creator when we let them go to waste.
She mentioned something in our conversation about her job that I want to share with you. Now, I have always known her as a workaholic. She is a very talented, educated person and she works very well. She was my boss on two different occasions so I witnessed firsthand the passion with which she approaches her work. When we spoke yesterday (Friday) she was home with her kids. That was impossible way back when. She was always glued to her office.
She is with a new company now and she said one thing she did right off the bat was set boundaries. She is, barring a catastrophe, out the door by 5:00 to go pick up her kids and take them home to have dinner as a family. She used to try to find an alternative for the kids. Now, she finds an alternative for her work. She shifted priorities by setting boundaries. She sounded happier than she ever had before. I could even hear it in her kids' voices.
I'm proud of my friend. She is doing well. I'm afraid she may be growing up (I will never make that mistake.) Most of all, I feel good because I know she is getting better. I know that if she keeps changing her attitude, she will receive the blessings which have eluded her for so long.
Lessons:
- When you make a commitment, keep it. Even if you don't feel like it.
- Old friends (and new ones) are not only there to listen, they are there to be heard.
- If you live in a glass house, don't throw stones. Oh, and invest in a robe and curtains.
- If you're having trouble prioritizing, set boundaries, it's a great first step.
- Kids grow up. Enjoy them now.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way, I am getting better and better.
- Today I will not judge others.
- Today I will be a friend to someone who needs one.
- Today I will sort out my priorities by setting boundaries in my work, social, and personal life.
There's an old poem, I don't know who wrote it, which says:
Think most where man's fortune begins and where it ends
And think mine was that I had such friends
Nobody does it alone. You and I are no exception. You have a friend who needs your help. You know who it is. Pick up the phone and call this person. Listen to them. Build them up. Be there for them. You will be doing more for yourself in the process than you can imagine.
Make it your best day yet. God bless you.
Adolfo
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Friday, June 11, 2010
Day # 16 - So what's next. The pursuit of perfection.
So the baton was passed and I am no longer chairman of the Dania Beach Chamber of Commerce. I remain on the board as past chair and the new chair is a good friend and I know she will do a better job than I did. But now, I need to find something to do with my time.
I enjoyed the challenges of the chamber, though having the amazing staff and board I was blessed with made it so nothing was insurmountable and we were able to deal with whatever came our way quite easily. Although I am still going to be a part of the organization, I will miss being the chairman.
There. I'm over it. No sense dwelling on the past.
I mean that. There is no sense dwelling in the past. You can't unscramble eggs, so you have to learn from the past and move on to the future. Learn from it, but don't let longing for the glory days or brooding over the injustices of yesterday keep you from focusing on the future.
We've all been hurt, and we have all done our share of hurting. I think I've always been a good person, but I am not about to say that I never hurt anyone. That would be a lie. It doesn't make me evil, it makes me human. And like all humans, I am a long way from perfect. Perfection is to be pursued, even if we know it can never be attained. It is the pursuit that makes us better.
If you know you have done wrong, make it right. If you have stolen, find a way to return what is not yours. If you've lied, tell the truth. If you have been unkind, be kind. It's not rocket science. Do the right thing every time and each time you do, you are taking a small step toward being the perfect person you will never be. Each of those steps is bringing you closer to God.
Yesterday's breakfast featured a local meteorologist. This being South Florida, the subject of his presentation was, of course, hurricane season. I tried not to listen, although he was well-informed, interesting speaker, because I expected it would all be doom and gloom. It wasn't as bad as I feared. He even seemed to hint that predictions are just educated guesses and shouldn't be given so much weight.
He quoted several predictions including the Federal Government's, which was 14-23 storms, with 8-14 hurricanes. The government managed to be the highest and the lowest at the same time. They always want to have it both ways, he told us.
What the government really wants is to terrify us. It's how they obtain, grow, and hold onto their power. They govern through fear. You cannot pursue your personal perfection if you are afraid. Hurricanes are beyond our control. (Actually, George W. Bush can control them, as he did with Katrina - Barack Obama, on the other hand can't plug an oil leak.) Sorry, I had to do it. This is me exorcising the demons of newscasts past.
Lessons:
- Surround yourself with the right people and nothing is impossible.
- The story of your life is a work in progress. You are the author.
- The end of a good thing is an opportunity to start something better.
- Don't listen to the bad news and scary predictions. Be informed, not obsessed.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way, I am getting better and better.
- I will surround myself with positive people. I will not be dragged down by naysayers.
- Negative words bounce off of me.
- Bad news and dire predictions do not affect me, because I am in control of my life.
- I will pursue my own perfection. I know the goal is unattainable, but that's the point.
- Today, I am going to let go of the past. I am going to focus on the future. I am the author of my life's story. I will write my own happy ending.
I am sharing declarations every day. Pick and choose any that apply to your situation, or, better yet, make your own declarations. While today may be the day the Lord has made, it is yours to do with as you see fit. Make it count. Today will never happen again.
Make it your best day yet. God Bless You.
Adolfo
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I enjoyed the challenges of the chamber, though having the amazing staff and board I was blessed with made it so nothing was insurmountable and we were able to deal with whatever came our way quite easily. Although I am still going to be a part of the organization, I will miss being the chairman.
There. I'm over it. No sense dwelling on the past.
I mean that. There is no sense dwelling in the past. You can't unscramble eggs, so you have to learn from the past and move on to the future. Learn from it, but don't let longing for the glory days or brooding over the injustices of yesterday keep you from focusing on the future.
We've all been hurt, and we have all done our share of hurting. I think I've always been a good person, but I am not about to say that I never hurt anyone. That would be a lie. It doesn't make me evil, it makes me human. And like all humans, I am a long way from perfect. Perfection is to be pursued, even if we know it can never be attained. It is the pursuit that makes us better.
If you know you have done wrong, make it right. If you have stolen, find a way to return what is not yours. If you've lied, tell the truth. If you have been unkind, be kind. It's not rocket science. Do the right thing every time and each time you do, you are taking a small step toward being the perfect person you will never be. Each of those steps is bringing you closer to God.
Yesterday's breakfast featured a local meteorologist. This being South Florida, the subject of his presentation was, of course, hurricane season. I tried not to listen, although he was well-informed, interesting speaker, because I expected it would all be doom and gloom. It wasn't as bad as I feared. He even seemed to hint that predictions are just educated guesses and shouldn't be given so much weight.
He quoted several predictions including the Federal Government's, which was 14-23 storms, with 8-14 hurricanes. The government managed to be the highest and the lowest at the same time. They always want to have it both ways, he told us.
What the government really wants is to terrify us. It's how they obtain, grow, and hold onto their power. They govern through fear. You cannot pursue your personal perfection if you are afraid. Hurricanes are beyond our control. (Actually, George W. Bush can control them, as he did with Katrina - Barack Obama, on the other hand can't plug an oil leak.) Sorry, I had to do it. This is me exorcising the demons of newscasts past.
Lessons:
- Surround yourself with the right people and nothing is impossible.
- The story of your life is a work in progress. You are the author.
- The end of a good thing is an opportunity to start something better.
- Don't listen to the bad news and scary predictions. Be informed, not obsessed.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way, I am getting better and better.
- I will surround myself with positive people. I will not be dragged down by naysayers.
- Negative words bounce off of me.
- Bad news and dire predictions do not affect me, because I am in control of my life.
- I will pursue my own perfection. I know the goal is unattainable, but that's the point.
- Today, I am going to let go of the past. I am going to focus on the future. I am the author of my life's story. I will write my own happy ending.
I am sharing declarations every day. Pick and choose any that apply to your situation, or, better yet, make your own declarations. While today may be the day the Lord has made, it is yours to do with as you see fit. Make it count. Today will never happen again.
Make it your best day yet. God Bless You.
Adolfo
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Thursday, June 10, 2010
Day # 15 - It's hard to say so long. Call me crazy.
So I spent a little time yesterday working on my farewell speech. Today (Thursday June 10) is my last day as chairman of the Dania Beach Chamber of Commerce. We're hosting our quarterly breakfast this morning and swearing in our new board of directors. I will no longer be chair, but I will assume the post of immediate past chair. It's not as bureaucratic as it sounds. It's a great organization and I will miss being at the top of it.
As I prepared my comments, I had to make decisions that, to a more emotionally mature person, should have been easy. I had to decide whether to take this opportunity to strike back at the people who have criticized, ambushed, bad-mouthed, or sabotaged me throughout my term. Sadly, I haven't always been a high-road kind of guy.
Dania Beach City Commissioner Walter Duke likes to say the four rules of public speaking are: Speak from the heart, be brief, be brief, sit down. It's the first rule I'm struggling with. I agree that one should always speak from the heart, but I know that hearts are not always filled with love. Sometimes there are other feelings in there. Sometimes, there is pain.
So, do I take the high road? Or do I come down on them with the fury of a thousand suns?
Neither.
Living well is the best revenge. For every criticism, every personal attack, I have received countless compliments, pats on the back, and congratulations. I can rightfully be proud of the work my board, staff, and I have done.
***
So, as a result of the 365 without news project, I am spending less time in front of the TV. Yesterday, there was about five minutes spent watching a documentary about tribes in New Guinea. I think it was New Guinea. Either way, I fell asleep as soon as I turned the TV on, so I have no idea what I watched. If I learned anything, it was through osmosis.
What I can say is, you should try it. My sister told me I would eventually give up all TV if I quit news. I am not ready to say I am never going to watch TV again, but I can say that I found more time to read (more on that in a minute) and to take care of some personal business. And most importantly, time with the family.
Most of what I used to watch on TV is negative. Aside from news, which is designed to make people depressed or angry or suicidal -or so it seems- most of the shows on TV are about conflict. Now, you're probably saying life is about conflict. I disagree, but I also thought TV was supposed to be an escape, why do I want to sit there watching people pretending to have more problems than me. Why do I want to watch people getting divorced when I have a marriage I want to see thrive. I don't believe it is inevitable that my kids will give me problems in their teen years. I don't believe that global warming will eventually destroy the planet. I don't want to hear about the oil spills, and the terrorists, and the rapists. I don't want to hear about people walking into restaurants and shooting innocent people. I don't want to watch the "real" housewives of wherever bad-mouthing one another and then air-kissing at cocktail parties. By the way, they all have jobs, they are not housewives.
People would call me crazy for giving up on TV. That's like calling someone crazy for giving up heroin.
I read, "The Greatest Salesman in the World" a couple of years ago. I hadn't read it since and decided to read it yesterday. It's funny how I had to tell myself to ignore the book's obvious flaws in order to get something out of the time investment I was making. The book is poorly written - of this there is no doubt. But the message is a good one. And these days, I am all about the message. I read one thing in there that applies to the situation with my detractors at the chamber:
"Always will I dig for reasons to applaud. Never will I scratch for reasons to gossip."
In other words: If you have nothing nice to say about a person, keep looking until you find it. Digging versus scratching. It's much more work, you get your hands dirty, but your conscience remains clean. What a great line.
Lessons:
- Time spent preparing is time spent reflecting.
- Emotional maturity equals happiness.
- Take the high road. You'll be less likely to run into people who want to hurt you.
- Try a day without TV, you will suddenly have time and a better outlook. (Radio, too!)
Declarations:
Day by day, in every way, I am getting better and better.
Today, I will take the high road.
I will persist until I succeed.
I will laugh at the world.
The last two are from "The Greatest Salesman in the World." Use them. Say them out loud. Repeat them. You are getting better. You are becoming the person you were meant to be. I believe in you. Now it's time you believed in yourself.
God bless you,
Adolfo
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As I prepared my comments, I had to make decisions that, to a more emotionally mature person, should have been easy. I had to decide whether to take this opportunity to strike back at the people who have criticized, ambushed, bad-mouthed, or sabotaged me throughout my term. Sadly, I haven't always been a high-road kind of guy.
Dania Beach City Commissioner Walter Duke likes to say the four rules of public speaking are: Speak from the heart, be brief, be brief, sit down. It's the first rule I'm struggling with. I agree that one should always speak from the heart, but I know that hearts are not always filled with love. Sometimes there are other feelings in there. Sometimes, there is pain.
So, do I take the high road? Or do I come down on them with the fury of a thousand suns?
Neither.
Living well is the best revenge. For every criticism, every personal attack, I have received countless compliments, pats on the back, and congratulations. I can rightfully be proud of the work my board, staff, and I have done.
***
So, as a result of the 365 without news project, I am spending less time in front of the TV. Yesterday, there was about five minutes spent watching a documentary about tribes in New Guinea. I think it was New Guinea. Either way, I fell asleep as soon as I turned the TV on, so I have no idea what I watched. If I learned anything, it was through osmosis.
What I can say is, you should try it. My sister told me I would eventually give up all TV if I quit news. I am not ready to say I am never going to watch TV again, but I can say that I found more time to read (more on that in a minute) and to take care of some personal business. And most importantly, time with the family.
Most of what I used to watch on TV is negative. Aside from news, which is designed to make people depressed or angry or suicidal -or so it seems- most of the shows on TV are about conflict. Now, you're probably saying life is about conflict. I disagree, but I also thought TV was supposed to be an escape, why do I want to sit there watching people pretending to have more problems than me. Why do I want to watch people getting divorced when I have a marriage I want to see thrive. I don't believe it is inevitable that my kids will give me problems in their teen years. I don't believe that global warming will eventually destroy the planet. I don't want to hear about the oil spills, and the terrorists, and the rapists. I don't want to hear about people walking into restaurants and shooting innocent people. I don't want to watch the "real" housewives of wherever bad-mouthing one another and then air-kissing at cocktail parties. By the way, they all have jobs, they are not housewives.
People would call me crazy for giving up on TV. That's like calling someone crazy for giving up heroin.
I read, "The Greatest Salesman in the World" a couple of years ago. I hadn't read it since and decided to read it yesterday. It's funny how I had to tell myself to ignore the book's obvious flaws in order to get something out of the time investment I was making. The book is poorly written - of this there is no doubt. But the message is a good one. And these days, I am all about the message. I read one thing in there that applies to the situation with my detractors at the chamber:
"Always will I dig for reasons to applaud. Never will I scratch for reasons to gossip."
In other words: If you have nothing nice to say about a person, keep looking until you find it. Digging versus scratching. It's much more work, you get your hands dirty, but your conscience remains clean. What a great line.
Lessons:
- Time spent preparing is time spent reflecting.
- Emotional maturity equals happiness.
- Take the high road. You'll be less likely to run into people who want to hurt you.
- Try a day without TV, you will suddenly have time and a better outlook. (Radio, too!)
Declarations:
Day by day, in every way, I am getting better and better.
Today, I will take the high road.
I will persist until I succeed.
I will laugh at the world.
The last two are from "The Greatest Salesman in the World." Use them. Say them out loud. Repeat them. You are getting better. You are becoming the person you were meant to be. I believe in you. Now it's time you believed in yourself.
God bless you,
Adolfo
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