I can think of no one who would not benefit from church. Before the PC police moves in on me, I am using church as a catch-all. Worship whomever you choose, I won't judge you, but don't think you can do it on your own. You can't. Although I have not always been religious, I have always been somewhat spiritual. Maybe not as spiritual as I should have been, but God has always been a part of my life, even if I made Him pace around the edges, waiting for me to decide to let him in.
This one-year journey I have embarked on in giving me a chance to reexamine my priorities on a daily basis. My focus five days ago was self-improvement. It still is, only it's now much more. Why improve the Me that is of this world while ignoring the Me that will go on? It's like washing a car with a faulty engine.
We went to church yesterday and I felt the spiritual connection to God that has eluded me lately. I listened to songs of praise and worship and could do nothing but close my eyes and cry.
Now, you worldly, moral-relativists might be rolling your eyes about now. Be my guest. I am trying to save myself and it'll be a while before I even think about saving you. I have never been one to engage in public displays of faith. I never raised my hands to the heavens and shouted out praises. I did not do this in church yesterday, either. But as I stood there in the balcony looking at so many who did, I realized I never felt disdain or anything negative for people who were so moved. Rather, I always wanted to be like them.
Some of what I learned yesterday:
God created me (and you) with a plan.
It's never too late to reach your potential.
There is a lot of untapped potential in a graveyard.
These are things I always knew but had never learned. This is where my journey is taking me so far.
Of course, like any good Christian, I must be put through trials. Yesterday, the trial was in the form of retail. I am not a shopper. I think a lot of men are the same. I go into a store, make a beeline for what I need. I know the size, color, brand, etc. before I even leave my house, by the way. I get it, I fly through the store, knocking over displays and innocent civilians on my way to the cash register, and I get out.
Shopping with my wife and daughters is a trial. It is a test of my patience. Believe me, I am an impatient person. I don't have time for instant coffee. I am always in a hurry, even when I have no place to go.
Shopping is not a spectator sport. You have to be in the game. Tagging along with a shopper is not easy if you yourself are not shopping. After church, we went to lunch and my daughter Melissa asked if we can go to the mall. It's not like her. I fear the child is becoming her mother. I wanted a tomboy. I got girly girls. Three of them.
Instead of the mall, we ended up at Super Target, where we spent two thousand years. My patience is constantly tested by my two lovely children touching everything that looks especially expensive and fragile. It is further tested by people who shoot my kids dirty looks. My kids are well behaved. Anyone who has been around them will confirm this. When someone looks at my child out of the side of their eye just because the kid giggles, my father-protector instinct kicks in and I get the urge to jump on the person, break open their skull, and eat their brain.
But I don't. I smile, I take pleasure in knowing that my children are annoying a jackass. Personally, I get a kick out of watching kids playing, their imaginations at work. I see the human potential still left untapped. I feel hope for the future of my country. I see funny little people and I wish I could somehow keep them from losing all those wonderful qualities as they become rigid, jaded, adults, and grumpy old men and women.
If you are in South Florida, you know the temperature yesterday was approximately one billion Fahrenheit. We went from Target to Outdoor World to K-Mart. The mall would have been a better deal as the temperature in the car would reach apocalyptic levels each time we parked it in the sun. No, as a matter of fact, there were no shady spots. All this would be bad enough if we actually did some shopping, but this was just a way of passing the time.
I wanted to go camping. The girls wanted to go camping. Abby did not. From this impasse came the great compromise of Memorial Day weekend 2010. I set up the tent in the living room. Ridiculous? You betcha! Fun? Absolutely. The girls camped with their mother and I got the bed to myself for the first time in ten years.
I guess God rewarded my patience after all!
1st Corinthians 9:25 "All athletes are disciplined in their training. They do it to win a prize that will fade away, but we do it for an eternal prize."
See you tomorrow.
Adolfo
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Monday, May 31, 2010
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Day # 4 - It's easy when you take your mind from it.
So I was really busy yesterday which helped keep me away from the things I shouldn't be near (for the sake of this experiment, anyway.) Saturdays and Sundays are my busiest days. I had a big event and several smaller things going on. My son AJ was with me most of the time so we talked and that helped keep my mind on him and not on the negative influences.
I listened to music and was able to engage people in conversations that had nothing to do with what's happening in the world - just being nice and friendly. It was great.
This is turning out to be pretty easy.
DISCLAIMER: At one point I turned on the radio and someone was talking about the brave men and women who have served our country. It took a moment for me to realize it was the president talking. Once I noticed, I turned it off. Of course, our illustrious commander in chief has given so many speeches in his time in the White House that I don't think they count as news anymore. But, I felt I should say it.
I listened to a little 80's music and not much else. I listened to about an hour of a book on CD about Nixon and Kissinger - what a screwed up pair they were!
Still reading Hemingway when I am home - A Farewell to Arms.
On Monday I will begin my education in earnest.
See ya!
Adolfo
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I listened to music and was able to engage people in conversations that had nothing to do with what's happening in the world - just being nice and friendly. It was great.
This is turning out to be pretty easy.
DISCLAIMER: At one point I turned on the radio and someone was talking about the brave men and women who have served our country. It took a moment for me to realize it was the president talking. Once I noticed, I turned it off. Of course, our illustrious commander in chief has given so many speeches in his time in the White House that I don't think they count as news anymore. But, I felt I should say it.
I listened to a little 80's music and not much else. I listened to about an hour of a book on CD about Nixon and Kissinger - what a screwed up pair they were!
Still reading Hemingway when I am home - A Farewell to Arms.
On Monday I will begin my education in earnest.
See ya!
Adolfo
Start building your Success Library!
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Saturday, May 29, 2010
Day # 3 - I thought this was going to be hard. Maybe it is a little
It's strange how habits work. I had a great, newsless day yesterday. I got a lot accomplished. I had a stressful moment last night around seven and my instinct was to plop my but on the couch in front of the TV and tune into what was happening in the world. Literally.
On day one, I mentioned incidental contact with news. It was speculation on my part, but it turned out to be true. And avoidable. I sat down for lunch at a place in Hollywood. Nothing to read with me, alone. On one of the tables in the place, someone had left the newspaper. Part of me wanted to pick it up because that's what I would have always done. I decided against it. I quietly had my lunch. I focused on what I had done and what remained to be done that day.
I refilled my diet pepsi and walked. No Contact.
I logged on to facebook last night while making dinner (cooking is another great, positive distraction and I'm getting good at it) and learned that Gary Coleman had passed away. It's sad. Although he was made fun of for so many years, he was one of the icons of my (our) youth. His was a tragic story. A physical limitation, greedy, unscrupulous parents, and a public who likes to watch people fall. I will never understand our fascination with failure. Don't get me wrong, I am not being critical. I have always been more intrigued with stories of lost fortunes than made ones. I can't help thinking that's not a good thing and I for one will no longer participate.
I have a son who is an aspiring actor, one who is an aspiring musician, and two daughters who have no idea what stage fright is. I will never push them in the direction of child stardom. If they choose it, I will come along as protector.
So, my point is that maybe facebook (or other social media) is the news source of the future. Of course, it will never work as long as people try to inject their opinions into everything (think Wikipedia.) But it's a good way of getting the people's pulse.
Today I'm working a big event from 11-3 and then I'm free the rest of the long weekend. Maybe do a little swimming with the kids. Go to church and visit some friends tomorrow. Maybe go camping. Who knows?
Yesterday, I listened to a CD of Lorel Langmyer (sp?) giving financial advice. I wasn't all that impressed. Maybe I missed something, but she seemed to say nothing of value. I listened to an interesting discussion on caring for elderly parents - yes, it really was interesting - on Grace FM. I listened to classical music, Joel Osteen, and I discovered my Hemingway CD has a scratch in it the size of the Panama Canal. Very disappointing.
Day # 3 was easy. It's all a matter of keeping your mind occupied with good things. After all, an idle mind is the devil's playground.
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On day one, I mentioned incidental contact with news. It was speculation on my part, but it turned out to be true. And avoidable. I sat down for lunch at a place in Hollywood. Nothing to read with me, alone. On one of the tables in the place, someone had left the newspaper. Part of me wanted to pick it up because that's what I would have always done. I decided against it. I quietly had my lunch. I focused on what I had done and what remained to be done that day.
I refilled my diet pepsi and walked. No Contact.
I logged on to facebook last night while making dinner (cooking is another great, positive distraction and I'm getting good at it) and learned that Gary Coleman had passed away. It's sad. Although he was made fun of for so many years, he was one of the icons of my (our) youth. His was a tragic story. A physical limitation, greedy, unscrupulous parents, and a public who likes to watch people fall. I will never understand our fascination with failure. Don't get me wrong, I am not being critical. I have always been more intrigued with stories of lost fortunes than made ones. I can't help thinking that's not a good thing and I for one will no longer participate.
I have a son who is an aspiring actor, one who is an aspiring musician, and two daughters who have no idea what stage fright is. I will never push them in the direction of child stardom. If they choose it, I will come along as protector.
So, my point is that maybe facebook (or other social media) is the news source of the future. Of course, it will never work as long as people try to inject their opinions into everything (think Wikipedia.) But it's a good way of getting the people's pulse.
Today I'm working a big event from 11-3 and then I'm free the rest of the long weekend. Maybe do a little swimming with the kids. Go to church and visit some friends tomorrow. Maybe go camping. Who knows?
Yesterday, I listened to a CD of Lorel Langmyer (sp?) giving financial advice. I wasn't all that impressed. Maybe I missed something, but she seemed to say nothing of value. I listened to an interesting discussion on caring for elderly parents - yes, it really was interesting - on Grace FM. I listened to classical music, Joel Osteen, and I discovered my Hemingway CD has a scratch in it the size of the Panama Canal. Very disappointing.
Day # 3 was easy. It's all a matter of keeping your mind occupied with good things. After all, an idle mind is the devil's playground.
Start building your Success Library!
Follow me on Twitter
Friend me on Facebook
Friday, May 28, 2010
Day # 2 of a Year Without News - Good Morning
Amazing what you can accomplish when your mind and schedule are cleared. Amazing what the devil will throw at you when you are on the right path. I absorbed absolutely no news yesterday. I have no idea what's "happening in the world." However, I am awake, alive, and the sun is coming up. Life goes on with or without us, so we must go on with or without "life."
What kind of life would it be if we allowed it to be guided by people who don't know us or care for us and only see us as a demographic blip on a screen? As one more point in the ratings? I can tell you what kind of life it would be because it's the one I lived - Until now.
Yesterday, I worked on a document for a friend. He is putting together a business plan and I helped write certain sections. I read chapter two of "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People," and before going to bed I decided to reacquaint myself with my literary hero, Ernest Hemingway, and started reading "A Farewell to Arms."
Abby asked me last night how my first day without news was. I told her I felt great. I was not in need of comfort but was willing to accept if she offered any. (Nudge nudge wink wink say no more!)
I used to doubt the power of addiction. I always believed anyone who was an addict was simply weak or lacked the will power to drop whatever habit was crippling them. Life has taught me (through the experiences and suffering of people close to me) that this simply isn't so. Addiction is real. However, it has also taught me that the first step toward being cured is not just admitting you have a problem, but deciding that you are going to solve the problem.
Until you decide you are going to kick the addiction, whatever it may be, you will not be able to do so. Desire and will to win are everything. Without them, you will lose and you will lose huge!
I hope I don't seem overly dramatic here. I am talking about changing a habit. I have no chemical dependency, no mental dependency. (Maybe a little, but the word for that is "habit".) I will suffer no withdrawal to speak of. It will not get worse before it gets better. No, it will only get better for me. I will take the same amount of energy I wasted and refocus it. Rather than feeling what politicians and news directors want me to feel, I will feel better. I will feel whole.
This morning, I watched a video of Art Williams, retired champion football coach, businessman, motivational speaker. His message was not elegant, but it was simple and true. It boiled down to:
Eliminate the words "I can't" from your vocabulary, and just "Do It." Whatever "it" is. You have to do it. Nothing will happen until you do.
Today, I have clients to go see and a meeting at 4:00 PM. This will take up some of my day. I think I'll listen to Wayne Dyer in the car and maybe some Hemingway.
I have "The Snows of Kilimanjaro" read by Charlton Heston on CD. I haven't listened to it in a while. It's a great story about regret. I never want to be like the protagonist, Harry, laying on a cot under a tree in Africa, waiting to die and knowing that there was so much left undone. It's what Melville called the horror of the half-lived life.
I want to be a man in full and live a life in full. I want to look back at the end and know that I didn't miss a thing... except skydiving. I have absolutely no desire to go skydiving.
See you tomorrow.
Adolfo
What kind of life would it be if we allowed it to be guided by people who don't know us or care for us and only see us as a demographic blip on a screen? As one more point in the ratings? I can tell you what kind of life it would be because it's the one I lived - Until now.
Yesterday, I worked on a document for a friend. He is putting together a business plan and I helped write certain sections. I read chapter two of "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People," and before going to bed I decided to reacquaint myself with my literary hero, Ernest Hemingway, and started reading "A Farewell to Arms."
Abby asked me last night how my first day without news was. I told her I felt great. I was not in need of comfort but was willing to accept if she offered any. (Nudge nudge wink wink say no more!)
I used to doubt the power of addiction. I always believed anyone who was an addict was simply weak or lacked the will power to drop whatever habit was crippling them. Life has taught me (through the experiences and suffering of people close to me) that this simply isn't so. Addiction is real. However, it has also taught me that the first step toward being cured is not just admitting you have a problem, but deciding that you are going to solve the problem.
Until you decide you are going to kick the addiction, whatever it may be, you will not be able to do so. Desire and will to win are everything. Without them, you will lose and you will lose huge!
I hope I don't seem overly dramatic here. I am talking about changing a habit. I have no chemical dependency, no mental dependency. (Maybe a little, but the word for that is "habit".) I will suffer no withdrawal to speak of. It will not get worse before it gets better. No, it will only get better for me. I will take the same amount of energy I wasted and refocus it. Rather than feeling what politicians and news directors want me to feel, I will feel better. I will feel whole.
This morning, I watched a video of Art Williams, retired champion football coach, businessman, motivational speaker. His message was not elegant, but it was simple and true. It boiled down to:
Eliminate the words "I can't" from your vocabulary, and just "Do It." Whatever "it" is. You have to do it. Nothing will happen until you do.
Today, I have clients to go see and a meeting at 4:00 PM. This will take up some of my day. I think I'll listen to Wayne Dyer in the car and maybe some Hemingway.
I have "The Snows of Kilimanjaro" read by Charlton Heston on CD. I haven't listened to it in a while. It's a great story about regret. I never want to be like the protagonist, Harry, laying on a cot under a tree in Africa, waiting to die and knowing that there was so much left undone. It's what Melville called the horror of the half-lived life.
I want to be a man in full and live a life in full. I want to look back at the end and know that I didn't miss a thing... except skydiving. I have absolutely no desire to go skydiving.
See you tomorrow.
Adolfo
Thursday, May 27, 2010
854 Hours to a New Me
I am a news junkie. But I'm trying to quit. I am becoming self-aware in my old age and I realized exactly how much the news was killing me. No matter which network I watched, read, or listened to. All it ever did was aggravate me. I would wake up and either turn on the news or read it online. I would read newspapers, news magazine, newsletters. You name it, I read it - so long as it was news.
Think about it: Starting your day by reading or hearing about terrorist attacks, earthquakes, bank robberies, disease, war, depression, recession, fraud, AIDS, cancer, rape, famine... it makes me sick just thinking about it. I would wake up at 5:00AM and immediately start feeding myself this garbage. No wonder I've been so unhappy!
I estimate I have spent about three hours a day on news. It seems like a lot, but think about it: an hour in the morning from the time I would wake up around 5:00 until six, when I would wake the family; an hour in the car most mornings, tuned to NPR or some news / talk radio station. I would typically listen to the radio (news), read the paper, a magazine, etc. That's two hours. Radio on the way home (yes, as a matter of fact, I do listen to music... sometimes) and then the news on TV while I checked e-mails, did my chores, etc. This was always at least an hour. To be easy on myself I am counting three hours per day from Monday thru Friday and an hour each on Saturday and Sunday for a grand total of 854 hours per year of news. I've been doing this to myself for years.
So, for the next year, I will avoid the news. Entirely. I will dedicate the 854 hours not spent on sensationalism, slant, and negativity on improving myself. I intend to chronicle this journey right here and share it with you (if you even care.) I expect I will be a better person when this is all over. I also expect I will spend more than 854 hours on this project since I will spend less time arguing with friends about politics.
I thought of starting this on my birthday, which is in July. I'll be 39 this year and I thought this would be a great project to finish on my 40th birthday. I decided against that because this is too important (to me) for gimmicks. Like any project or change that requires great personal commitment, sometimes it's better to just do it now. If you set a start date in the future, it'll end up like all the other things you meant to do and never did.
Now for the rules:
1. No news does not mean no TV. I do not intend to give up "Family Guy". Also the new season of "Entourage" starts in June and I will watch it. I also intent to enjoy "Arrested Development" reruns on IFC On Demand. I will also watch movies, including several Disney cartoons several million times each (thanks to my daughters.) Oh, and there's no way I will miss this year's Tour De Lance!
2. No news does not mean no Magazines. I have grown quite fond of certain magazines and articles. Most are travel-related like Outside Magazine. No news there.
3. I cannot help that I will occasionally make incidental contact with the news. For example, I may be listening to music on the radio and a news flash interrupts. If it's relevant to the safety of my family, I will pay attention. If it's another Obama press conference, I'm switching stations.
4. Hurricane season starts soon. I do not care about storm predictions (which are nonsense most of the time) but if there is an imminent threat, I will tune it - though just enough to get what I need. In the event of a hurricane making landfall, I will leave the radio on during the storm.
5. I will make every effort to spend at least three hours of every day on educating myself. This will include reading the bible. I will read self-help books. I will read biographies, which I have always enjoyed. I will try to spend a little quality time with William Shakespeare - no promises. I will listen to books on CD or MP3. I might join Netflix and enjoy some classics. I will spend time with people who will help me improve myself. (Looking for a mentor - whaddya say?) I will share what I learn along the way)
6. I will write about the experience. I have every reason to expect that this will improve me as a human being. I hope this will inspire others to examine their lives and decide whether they are putting too much of their precious time and energy into things that make no sense and don't help. For me, it's news. For you, it might be TV, surfing the web, texting, chatting, hanging out, drinking, partying, drugs. Whatever. I'm not saying any of these things are right or wrong (except the drugs - they're generally bad) but are they the best use of your time?
Of course, if this doesn't inspire anyone or change anyone's perceptions, it won't matter. I'm doing it for my wife and my kids. I'm doing it for my parents. Ultimately, I'm doing this for myself.
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Think about it: Starting your day by reading or hearing about terrorist attacks, earthquakes, bank robberies, disease, war, depression, recession, fraud, AIDS, cancer, rape, famine... it makes me sick just thinking about it. I would wake up at 5:00AM and immediately start feeding myself this garbage. No wonder I've been so unhappy!
I estimate I have spent about three hours a day on news. It seems like a lot, but think about it: an hour in the morning from the time I would wake up around 5:00 until six, when I would wake the family; an hour in the car most mornings, tuned to NPR or some news / talk radio station. I would typically listen to the radio (news), read the paper, a magazine, etc. That's two hours. Radio on the way home (yes, as a matter of fact, I do listen to music... sometimes) and then the news on TV while I checked e-mails, did my chores, etc. This was always at least an hour. To be easy on myself I am counting three hours per day from Monday thru Friday and an hour each on Saturday and Sunday for a grand total of 854 hours per year of news. I've been doing this to myself for years.
So, for the next year, I will avoid the news. Entirely. I will dedicate the 854 hours not spent on sensationalism, slant, and negativity on improving myself. I intend to chronicle this journey right here and share it with you (if you even care.) I expect I will be a better person when this is all over. I also expect I will spend more than 854 hours on this project since I will spend less time arguing with friends about politics.
I thought of starting this on my birthday, which is in July. I'll be 39 this year and I thought this would be a great project to finish on my 40th birthday. I decided against that because this is too important (to me) for gimmicks. Like any project or change that requires great personal commitment, sometimes it's better to just do it now. If you set a start date in the future, it'll end up like all the other things you meant to do and never did.
Now for the rules:
1. No news does not mean no TV. I do not intend to give up "Family Guy". Also the new season of "Entourage" starts in June and I will watch it. I also intent to enjoy "Arrested Development" reruns on IFC On Demand. I will also watch movies, including several Disney cartoons several million times each (thanks to my daughters.) Oh, and there's no way I will miss this year's Tour De Lance!
2. No news does not mean no Magazines. I have grown quite fond of certain magazines and articles. Most are travel-related like Outside Magazine. No news there.
3. I cannot help that I will occasionally make incidental contact with the news. For example, I may be listening to music on the radio and a news flash interrupts. If it's relevant to the safety of my family, I will pay attention. If it's another Obama press conference, I'm switching stations.
4. Hurricane season starts soon. I do not care about storm predictions (which are nonsense most of the time) but if there is an imminent threat, I will tune it - though just enough to get what I need. In the event of a hurricane making landfall, I will leave the radio on during the storm.
5. I will make every effort to spend at least three hours of every day on educating myself. This will include reading the bible. I will read self-help books. I will read biographies, which I have always enjoyed. I will try to spend a little quality time with William Shakespeare - no promises. I will listen to books on CD or MP3. I might join Netflix and enjoy some classics. I will spend time with people who will help me improve myself. (Looking for a mentor - whaddya say?) I will share what I learn along the way)
6. I will write about the experience. I have every reason to expect that this will improve me as a human being. I hope this will inspire others to examine their lives and decide whether they are putting too much of their precious time and energy into things that make no sense and don't help. For me, it's news. For you, it might be TV, surfing the web, texting, chatting, hanging out, drinking, partying, drugs. Whatever. I'm not saying any of these things are right or wrong (except the drugs - they're generally bad) but are they the best use of your time?
Of course, if this doesn't inspire anyone or change anyone's perceptions, it won't matter. I'm doing it for my wife and my kids. I'm doing it for my parents. Ultimately, I'm doing this for myself.
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