Friday, December 31, 2010

Day # 217 - Out with the Auld

The year 2010 is about to end... Less than six hours to go. I resolve to not make any resolutions. It's so cliche, after all, everyone makes them and no one keeps them. So, I will be honest with myself. No New Year's Resolutions.

I will, however, promise myself to keep doing all the good things I've been doing, to stop my bad habits, and to lose more weight. I will not start smoking. I will not go out at night carousing, drinking, and hanging around with loose women. I will not gamble away the mortgage.

Come to think of it, I don't do these things now.

Okay, so I do have a resolution: I resolve to be a little less boring.

Have a great night. Don't drink and drive. Make 2011 your best year yet.

God bless you,

Adolfo

Thursday, December 30, 2010

Day # 216 - Life In The Way

2010 is about to end and what can we say about it? I can't say much about the year that was except for my own year because I've sort of insulated myself from the world. It's been a good year for me. I'm happier than I was when it started. The last 216 days have changed me. I'm glad I took this project on.

Of course, there is still the longing for more. In my case, I find myself wanting more time. I find myself learning to appreciate the things that truly matter and wishing I could go back in time and enjoy the things I was missing when I was trying to be a man, or when I was angry at things beyond my control. I want to go back to the times when I let life get in the way of my life and change that. But I can't. All I can do is make sure that from here on out, I find that balance. Regrets will never amount to anything. Nothing was ever accomplished by looking at the past, or the future for that matter, and wishing.

Right now, life is keeping me from sleeping, so I respond by living, not by lying in bed, cursing the darkness. I write, I read, I learn. The sun will be up soon and the day will begin; another chance to get it right.

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Days # 214 & 215 - The Missing

I was in Key West again so I couldn't write. I guess I could have written last night when I got back, but I found it preferable to fall asleep on the couch watching Despicable Me with the girls. What is it about being alone away from home that makes you miss everything? Absence indeed makes the heart grow fonder.

I wonder how people do it. I think of long-distance truckers who are away from their families for long periods. I think of my close friend who moved to Georgia, temporarily leaving his family behind. How long his nights must have been. I think of the troops gone for months or years or forever, and I wonder how people do it. I was gone for one night and couldn't keep my eyes from welling up.

Maybe it's because we're still in the holidays and one of my sons is in Fort Myers and the other is in Philadelphia, while my daughters were home. I just want them all with me, but I know it can't be. I know fathers have to go out and do their work wherever that may lead them.

Time and distance, huh?

God bless you, make it your great day. Hug your babies.

- Adolfo

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Day # 213 - That Organization Thing

Christmas has passed and now it's time to get to work. I am back on my mission to organization. I've learned you start with your mind, not your desk. If your thoughts are disorganized (as mine have always been) you have no chance at organizing your world.

Lesson # 1: Amateurs remember, pros write it down.

Carry a notebook. I have always done this and I can tell you it could work, except that the notebooks I carry reflect what's happening upstairs: messy, disorganized, etc... It does no good to write down important information if you can't easily find it when you need it. I am learning this.

Lesson # 2: Listen Actively: In other words, ask questions.

When you are being given instructions, it's easy to zone out. If you make yourself ask questions, even simple, or stupid, questions, you're more likely to stay involved. I am learning this.

Lesson # 3: Create a system and stick to it.

Do whatever works for you. It may be a notepad, a PDA, or a spreadsheet. Whatever you do, just do it. As an old co-worker of mine used to say: a place for everything, and everything in its place. I am working on this one.

Lesson # 4: Have an accountability partner.

I work on my own and my office is in my house. I have enlisted Abby to help me stay organized. She warned me that she would be on my back constantly. I accepted because that is the only way this arrangement could possibly work.

Think of how much time you lose looking for papers, notes, whatever. Have you ever lost a deal because you lost a memo and didn't get back to someone on time. I have. I've made these mistakes and I am determined to never let them happen again. This is why I am creating the system.

I hope you had a Merry Christmas. God bless you. Make it a great day.

- Adolfo

Saturday, December 25, 2010

Day # 212 - Merry Christmas

It's 4:30 in the morning. I go out to the living room and turn on the Christmas tree lights, giving the girls the illusion that they've been on all night. I lay in bed and try to sleep but I'm excited. I can't wait. I never really got to enjoy this with my sons.

Around six, I hear them in their room over the monitor. They're trying to figure out whether it's to early to get out of bed. It's an awesome conversation to hear. They come out to the living room and see the gifts under the tree. They're trying to contain their excitement but I no longer need the monitor to hear them. I hear them coming to my room, Abby is awake by now, but we pretend to be asleep. They look at us from the door, two silhouettes. They decide to let us sleep. I'm losing my mind by now, wanting to go out there and watch them open their gifts. Abby tells me to sit tight. She's the patient one in this dynamic.

The girls get loud all of a sudden and, with Abby's permission of course, I call out, "Who's out there?"
"The kids."
"Oh, okay. What are you doing?"
"We got presents!"
"Really?"
"Yes!"
And they come over with our present: a 2011 calendar Melissa made for us in class. Melissa patiently, and proudly, watches us go through each of the twelve months, explaining what each drawing is.

Now, it's time for presents. Instinctively, they take turns opening their presents, allowing me to shift the focus of the video camera from one child to the other. They're happy and we're happy because of it.

They won't believe in Santa forever and I'm fine with that. They have to grow up and they don't need permission to do so. But I see nothing wrong in maintaining their innocence for as long as possible. Magic is real if you believe in it and want my children's lives to have as much magic as possible. I owe them that.

It's also important, in my house, for them to be mindful of the reason for Christmas. There is no "X" in Christmas and we plan to keep it that way. Christmas is a great opportunity for teaching your children. Teach them that there are other people in the world and that the spirit of this holiday is not about receiving, it's about giving. That is the greatest gift I can give my children, that while we celebrate the birth of Christ by sharing gifts, we honor His life and sacrifice by sharing our blessings.

Merry Christmas. May the blessings of God be upon you and your family. Make it a great day.

- Adolfo

Friday, December 24, 2010

Day # 211 - Noche Buena

I've always loved Christmas Eve. Mostly because Cubans, like many Hispanics, are too impatient to wait until Christmas to open their gifts, so we wait until midnight (or earlier) to open them. It gives away the Santa Secret maybe, but who cares? I want presents!

I have tried to build my own traditions with my family and for the most part, they've worked fine, but there are some which I love. Noche Buena is one of them. The family will gather, eat, and chat, and watch Christmas movies. Same thing the Gringos do, but sooner. Christmas becomes Boxing Day, when we go visit relatives so the kids can pick up what Santa left in other houses for them. It's when we pass out the socks and the perfume and the books. Speaking of which, last year I got my mom a book and a pair of soft slippers. She asked if I was planning to send her to a home. That crafty old woman was on to me from the start!

The important thing is the fun of being with your family and loving them as best you can. A hug and kiss mean more than the ribbons and bows and what's beneath them. In the end, when fate separates us from the ones we love, it's the hugs and kisses and voices that we'll miss, not the stuff.

Love someone today. And every day. Let every day be a good day and every night be a Noche Buena. Don't be reserved in your emotion; love with reckless abandon. Call a relative who's far away; a sister or brother, an old roommate, someone who may be alone. Wish them a Merry Christmas. Let them know someone is thinking about them. You never know what a difference you can make in a person's life.

God bless you. Make it a great day.

- Adolfo

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Day #210 - Man vs. Bridge Round 1

I'm back on the mainland and it's fantastic! Good to be home. Not that I won't be going back. I will and soon, I'm sure, but I am closer to putting the bridge nonsense behind me.

I learned that it's good to chew gum when your nervous because it will keep you from grinding your teeth. I also learned that nothing is scary. How's that for some insight?

What I mean when I tell you nothing is scary is that we assign fear to things. We are scared of certain things and that has nothing to do with the thing we fear. (The thought is clear, but I am having a hard time articulating it.) Why is one person afraid of heights and another isn't? A mountain isn't scary, but someone may be scared of a mountain while another person can't wait to climb to the top of it. The difference is in the thought process, the belief, of one person compared to the other.

I'm tired. I didn't sleep well last night. I never sleep very well in hotels, even in very nice ones. If what I've written makes no sense, it's not you, it's me. Good night.

- Adolfo

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Day # 209 - Bridges

For the longest time, I've had a problem with bridges. I don't know the origin of it, but it's pretty bad. It's also irrational. I know it is. I know it makes no sense to go into a panic over crossing a bridge. Yet, although I know it makes no sense to be nervous, I become a wreck.

Fears are like bullies, the only way to defeat them is head-on. Part of the territory I cover for my job is Key West (ain't it hell?) and if you've never been to Key West it's basically a bunch of tiny islands connected by bridges. We don't need no stinkin' ferry boats!

So today, I'll be heading to Key West...alone. I have been mentally preparing myself for this the last few days and I am confident that everything will be fine. I'll probably drive a little slower over the Seven Mile Bridge than most people, but I don't mind being honked at. I can live with other people's disapproval. They can go around me after the hump.

It's a funny thing about fear: even when you know there is nothing to fear, you feel it anyway. I know that millions of people cross these bridges every year. I know I will be in no more danger than in any other place I drive (less danger since I drive in Miami all the time) and yet my palms are sweating even as I write this. I know this is a process. I know I can't just decide not to be scared and it will be so. I also know that if it is to be, it is up to me.

I'll write tomorrow from the Keys before heading back. I think I'll have dinner at Sloppy Joe's tonight and breakfast at the French Bakery before returning tomorrow. Maybe not, I'll cross that bridge when I get to it. (Sorry, couldn't resist.)

God bless you. Make it a great day.

- Adolfo

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Day # 208 - A New Challenge

208 days of this and the complaint is still the same: I don't know what to write about. This may be the hardest thing I've ever committed to. And the next project just dawned on me: I am going to get organized. This is something I have half-heartedly worked on for a while, but now, I'm going to get serious about it.

I am a capable person. I believe I have a fair amount of talent, though I am not sure how to define my talent. I am a quick learner, a curious person. I could be great... if I could just remember where I left that piece of paper.

There is no doubt in my mind that I have lost deals or sales or money in my life time due to my lack of organization. Somehow that was never reason enough for me to straighten myself out. It should be reason enough, but even at this point it doesn't really motivate me. I want to organize myself because I know I should. Because it will make my life easier. Because it will make me more productive. Because my cluttered desk is making me bonkers!

So now the quest for neatness begins. I have already moved in this direction, but now I am being more serious and deliberate about it.

I'll let you know how it goes. Tomorrow and the day after, we'll talk about bridges.

God bless you. Make it your best, most organized day yet.

- Adolfo

Monday, December 20, 2010

Day # 207 - Frustration

Sometimes, when things are going exactly the way you want them to go, little things will pop up. You know, the little inconveniences that, if left unchecked, can ruin your entire day, or take away the happiness of the moment or the occasion that you should be enjoying.

We've all been there and unless you are pushing up daisies, you can expect to have more days like this. When those little things show up, smile. It's really that simple. Even if you don't feel like smiling... especially if you don't feel like smiling. It's one of those things. It's like exercising. You may not feel like running, but if you force yourself a couple times a week, soon it becomes a habit and you get to the point where the pain of not doing it far outweighs the pain of doing it.

Smile when things are going wrong, when there are a million challenges hitting you all at once, when the odds are stacked against you, all the time. Now, please don't make a fool of yourself. There are times that call for seriousness and you still have to be an adult, but in those moments, sit up straight, bright-eyed, and exude confidence and contentedness. You need to act the part if this is what you want for your life. No matter how stressed you may feel, keep smiling and expecting the best, and you'll get it.

God bless you. Make it your best day yet.

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Day # 206 - Can't Sleep

My daughter Melissa loves to talk about how she's going to stay up all night watching movies. Every time she does this she ends up snoring by nine. Her regular bedtime is 8:30, so I don't sweat it. I fell asleep early last night, around ten, and here I am. If I'd gone to sleep at midnight and woken up at 5:00, it wouldn't bother me, but I've been up since two and I really had my heart set on sleeping.

Did I psych myself out? I don't think so. I fell asleep reading in bed, not because I went to bed to sleep.

I don't even know the point of what I'm trying to say here. Maybe I have no point.

I don't like pills. I could drink tea but I just don't feel like making it. I think I'll go back to sleep, or back to bed.

I always say that it's good to use this time, when you can't sleep, productively. It's a good time to read, pay bills, write a blog, operate heavy machinery, practice juggling chainsaws. Maybe skip the last two. But the truth is that although I am tired and cranky and complaining, these quiet hours are a gift. Everyone is asleep, the phone's not ringing, there is nothing urgent to deal with, and all there is is me and my thoughts. It's a productive time if used properly; destructive if not.

Hopefully, you're reading this at a decent hour. If not, go do something productive. Actually, whatever time it is, be productive. It's a sure ticket to happiness.

God bless you. Make it a great day. Sleep tight.

- Adolfo

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Day # 205 - Oh Well

I have to work today. My kids are on vacation. Aren't they lucky? I get a kick out of how kids complain about school. I used to do the same thing and now I'd kill to be back in school with no real responsibilities except doing your homework and being cool. For the record, I was no good at either.

Christmas is coming and Santa will bring them presents. We will enjoy and laugh and take pictures and video and then we'll trip over the toys and come November we'll give them away to make room for the new donations of the future.

I am going to Key West this week; not to party, to work. A night away from home. I don't have a problem with it, but the girls will probably be upset. I'll let you know if they're not, in which case, I will be.

I need to clean my garage. What a mess.

But first, I have to move my warehouse. Before that, I should have breakfast. Emily and I played the popcorn game this morning. She came to my room and laid down next to me. We pretend the popcorn ceiling is real popcorn and add butter, salt, cheeseburgers, whipped cream and all kinds of things one would never add to popcorn. Then we "eat" it and pop another batch. It occurred to me that she will always look at popcorn ceilings a little differently because of this game we play some mornings. This makes me smile. Then again, maybe she won't remember this. No matter, I will. Oh well.

Great, now I'm sentimental.

Make it a great day. God bless you. Enjoy your popcorn moments.

- Adolfo

Friday, December 17, 2010

Day # 204 - Bad Dream

I had an incredibly disturbing nightmare last night. I dreamt I was surrounded by people possessed by demons. It may have been congress, who knows? It was enough that when I awoke, I immediately started to pray. It helped quite a bit. I find that when I can't focus on praying, I repeat The Lord's Prayer (Our Father...) and it brings me the same peace.

They say dreams have meanings. I happen to agree with that. I don't believe they tell us the future or any such thing, but I believe they are our subconscious mind's way of venting... or something.

The great thing about bad dreams is the same as what's great about our good dreams: we decide whether they will come true or not. We decide what we will pursue, or attract, and what we will ignore.

Are you pursuing your dreams... or are they pursuing you?

- Adolfo

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Day # 203 - Books & Such

My favorite sister asked me to list the books I've read during the last 203 days. There have been a few and while I don't know if I'll miss anything, here goes:

The Bible: This one was written by God. I have the King James and New Living translations. I read them both, though not as often as I should.

Atlas Shrugged: It's the size of a phone book, and it's life changing. I wish I had read this as a teenager. It is by far one of the most important books I've read. It's the kind of book that makes you wonder if the events it describes are happening right now.

Good to Great: I am currently reading this book by Jim Collins. It's about corporations that make the leap to greatness - and ones that don't.

Thinking Big: Donald Trump is brilliant and arrogant and wow, what hair!

The Game of Life: This book was written in the 1920's. A lot of practical advice on positive thinking and such.

Breakthrough Thinking: Denis Waitley on how to innovate.

The Compound Effect: Darren Hardy on how to take little steps that make a big difference.

The Four Agreements: A very simple guide to inner peace and happiness

I have listened to several books on tape, mostly summaries from Success Magazine.

I read Success magazine cover to cover each month and listen to the interviews it brings.

I have revisited some of my old favorites like:

The Snows of Kilimanjaro by Ernest Hemingway

A Confederacy of Dunces by John Kennedy Toole

I have taken, "The Course in Mastery."

I watch motivational or instructional videos on YouTube.

I read articles in Fortune (not news, more like analysis), Entrepreneur, Inc. Magazine, Wine Spectator, and a few others.

This is not a comprehensive list. My wife commented to me a couple of days ago that I'm the only person she knows who is not into anything. I don't golf or play tennis, I'm not into cars or model airplanes. I just read. You should too, so you can be just like me! (Barnes & Noble will probably sue me for what I just did to their sales with that remark.)

Make it your best day yet. God bless you.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Day # 202 - What Next?

I committed to a year of this because it had a nice sound to it. "A Year Without News" sounded better than a "couple of weeks," "six months," or "until further notice" without news. Just over halfway through my year, I can say I have improved in many ways. I have learned patience and positivity. I have become more organized, I have clearer goals. I am obviously committed (or should be... to an institution.) I think I am a better father than I was 202 days ago. I think I am a better husband, too. My family disagree, but you can't please everyone, so you've got to please yourself. Rick Nelson was right about that, but I'm only kidding. My family is my number one priority. Always will be.

So, now that the positive thinking has started paying off; now that God and faith have seen me through the valley... what do I do with the next 163 days? What do I write about? What's my purpose in this thing? Do I continue writing about the lessons of each day? Book reports? My job is not fun to describe and if I did, it would only take about a paragraph. So... what else is there? I really don't know, and that's the beauty of this experiment. I've changed, but I am not done, not by a long shot. I am nowhere near being the person I am meant to be, the best person I can be.

I can still improve my attitude; I can improve myself physically; I can improve in my career, you know, climbing the old corporate ladder, I can grow spiritually. I guess the beauty of not knowing what's next is that I get to decide what it will be. I realize there are some things that are out of my control and I accept that. But the things I can control, I will control, and I will make them better in every way I can.

And that, my friends, is what's next.

God bless you. Make it your best day yet.

- Adolfo

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Day # 201 - A Good Omen

I started my new position yesterday. What an exciting moment! It's one of those times when the world seems to be wide open and you can step out and conquer it. That is, of course, as long as your van starts, and you can be entered into the system, and there's a wireless connection so your paperwork can be completed...

I was supposed to take my company vehicle yesterday but it wouldn't start. Also, it was leaking gas, lots of it, so I'm kind of glad it didn't start. Who knows? It was one of those days where everything that could have gone wrong, did. And you know what? I couldn't be happier.

My boss kept apologizing; I kept telling her not to worry, that this was a good omen, that all it meant was that great things were heading our way. Nothing as simple as a car not starting was going to ruin my first day at a great new company. She laughed at how I kept smiling. The truth is that I was happy. I felt no anger or disappointment. I have learned that these things are part of God's plan. I wasn't meant to go out today. Now, my van will be fixed up, the oil changed, tires rotated, new car smell re-introduced (okay, that was a stretch, it's pretty new already.)

It's been a recurring theme throughout this blog: don't let the little things steal your joy. I could have looked at this situation and told myself that I'd made a bad choice, that this was a disaster, that I should cut my losses and run, or, I could have simply let it sour my mood. No, instead, I decided to laugh about it, knowing one day, I'll write it all down, every detail, in a memoir of how the toughest year of my life was also the best year of my life, and how the rest and best of my life started on a day when everything seemed to go wrong.

Today, laugh at the little things. Learn not to worry about things that don't matter in the big picture. Develop a sense of perspective and accept that things happen for a reason and that while not all things may seem good, all things come together for good if you believe.

God bless you. Make it the best day yet.

- Adolfo

Monday, December 13, 2010

Day # 200 - Day 1

Wow! 200 days of this insanity. 200 days of waking up each morning and trying to figure out what I'm going to write about. Often, it's easy; something happens that sticks with me and I find is worth sharing. Other times, I have uneventful days, and I have to dig a little deeper.

I try to write in the range of 500 words per day. That means I've written about 100,000 words so far, and I still have 165 days to go.

Today is day one at my new job. The last year has been the toughest of my life (financially speaking) and I am finally emerging from the hole I was cast into. The first few months were a frantic job search during the worst economy of my lifetime, then there was the moment when I learned to let go and put things in God's hands. God brought me to this moment. I am stronger, and better prepared to face the challenges of my new position. I am a better husband and father. I still make mistakes (who doesn't?) but I care about the mistakes I make. I don't just shrug them off.

So today, I start what will be the last job of my life, the job from which I will retire. This is not to say I won't move up in the company. I won't rule that out, but I'm taking it one day at a time.

And isn't that what the last 200 days have taught me?

Make it a great day. God bless you. Stay warm.

- Adolfo

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Day # 199 - Father License

I'm writing so late because I've been working since 6:00 this morning. We had a big event in Weston and I've been there all day. Today was an interesting day. I've done dozens of these events over the years and have seen all kinds of things, but today was the first time I ever had to deal with an abandoned child. The father came back, but it took a while. The kid was about eight years old, the age of my daughter, and he was terrified. He came to me, presumably because he recognized me as an authority figure, with tears in his eyes telling me he didn't know where his father was.

After a while of searching and even announcing the lost child over the P.A., the sperm donor was still nowhere to be found so we called the cops. The father eventually showed up with a stupid grin on his face acting as if nothing had happened. I wanted to beat him to within an inch of his life, nurse him back to health, and then beat him completely to death. The child was so nervous he couldn't remember his own last name.

In my business, I too often see parents who are willing to leave their kids in the care of other and because the kid is having fun, they call it quality time. I am not perfect, but I would never abandon my child, not for a moment. Who does that? What kind of beast? Even dogs take care of their young.

I don't know if there is a moral to this story. I just had to get it off my chest. Be a father. Be a mother. Be more than whatever is less than a common dog.

- Adolfo

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Day # 198 - Listen to Your Heart

I am not referring to cheesy lyrics from the 90's. I'm thinking about health. Last night was a long night. We took the girls to their school for Melissa's dress rehearsal, stopping for dinner along the way. Abby was driving and around 6:30 started feeling pain in her left arm. The discomfort spread to her shoulder and neck and chest. As we sat through the dress rehearsal, she kept complaining of the pain. I insisted on taking her to urgent care.

The doctor ran an EKG and found nothing, noting that Abby isn't at great risk for a heart attack. He recommended she go to the emergency room where further tests could be run. I agreed; she acted like a man and tried to convince me it wasn't necessary.

By the time we got home it was 11:00PM and both the girls were sleeping so I stayed home and Abby drove herself to the emergency room. I felt terrible, not being there with her, but the kids were knocked out and there was no point in exposing our healthy children to the zillions of diseases that float around in an emergency waiting room.

It was a bad feeling, waiting helplessly for her to come back. Her phone died so when I called her, I got no answer. I watched a movie, prayed, tried to play Wii, whatever I could do to keep my thoughts positive.

She finally got home around 4:00AM. The doctor said it was likely stress, that what she was feeling was muscular, not cardiac. Moments like that make you feel a little foolish, as if having wasted a whole night in an emergency room, or sitting up worrying were a waste of time, but the truth is, life is precious even if it is temporary. If I had told her to stay home and it had turned out to be something worse, I would have never forgiven myself. As it turns out, she's sleeping and the kids don't even know she went to the hospital. I have one more thing to thank God for.

Listen to your heart, your gut, your instinct. I knew Abby needed to see a doctor, even as I hoped there was nothing to worry about and wished the pain would instantly vanish so we could just go home. I didn't want to sit up, imagining terrible things and life without her, but would I have been able to sleep if she had been home instead of being looked after?

Men, especially, tend to ignore their bodies. We think it's weak to go to the doctor. Nonsense. It's weak to be irresponsible and abandon those who depend on you. Go see your doctor, eat right, get exercise. Change your life so you can prolong it.

God bless you, take care of yourself. Make it your best day yet.

- Adolfo

Friday, December 10, 2010

Day # 197 - Rehearsal

I am writing late today because I've been out all day. Abby and I took the girls to school and stuck around for chapel. Melissa, my daughter, sang with the chorus (choir?) and we stayed to watch. They sang one of my favorite spiritual songs:

Our God is greater
Our God is stronger
God, You are higher than any other
Our God is healer
Awesome in power
Our God
Our God


To watch my little girl singing that song with her classmates, on stage, fearless, dancing interpretively, was overwhelming. I had to keep wiping the tears from my eyes.

Tomorrow, during the real show, I'm toast.

I am always proud of my children, but why is it that seeing them up on a stage seems to make a parent swell? Do we want others to see what we see? Do we want the applause of others to validate our feelings for our kids?

I don't know. All I know is that I am so proud I can't think of anything else right now.

The important thing is that she knows how proud I am and that she knows my pride and my love for her have nothing to do with her performing on stage. It has to do with her being my child. My spectacular, exceptional child. And no, I am not biased.

God bless you and make it your best day yet.

- Adolfo

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Day # 196 - She

She's laying face down. She is dressed in black, head to toe. There is a small stream of blood on the asphalt, a mangled bicycle, a van, people on the sidewalk, and no one has covered her up even though there are already cops on the scene. She is dead and we're all witness to it. I'm driving by and when I grasp what's happening, I instinctively put my hand to my mouth and I wonder what I'm supposed to feel. I say a little prayer for her but mostly for any family and friends that will soon hear the bad news. I go on about the evening's activities and think about her. I think, who was She.

I could easily get lost in the whole, "Life is short" and you never know when your time is up thing. We all know that. It's common knowledge. Every death is sudden unless you're old or hospitalized. Death is violent at times, always emotional, even for the drivers by or the people on the sidewalk. We fear it and yet are fascinated by it. It's guaranteed.

Because you never know, you should control the things you can and accept the things you can't. Don't leave relationships damaged. Make the effort. Tell the people you love how you feel. Laugh all the time. Make sure whatever memory you leave when your moment comes is the right kind of memory.

Some thoughts:

Life is what happens when you can't get to sleep. - Fran Lebowitz

Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save. - Will Rogers

If I had to live my life again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner. - Tallulah Bankhead.

Live your best day today. God bless you.

- Adolfo

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Day # 195 - Being Happy is a Choice

I'm happy. I thought I'd share that with you. I love the cool weather. My kids are healthy. Life is good and getting better every day. I am happy and I want to share that with you.

It's important to be happy. If you're not happy, everything will stink. Happiness is a choice you must make. If you decide to be happy regardless of your circumstances, your life will improve. If you decide to be miserable come what may, what will come is what you deserve, which is what you expect.

I start my new career Monday and I couldn't be happier. It's a dream coming true and it's been a long time coming. I feel like a kid a couple of days before Christmas. I guess, in a way, I am a kid just before Christmas. I wanted to start this career earlier, but things got confused here and there and it's been delayed. No matter. I am happy in advance, and I can tell you that I will be happy when I start and I will be happy every day of my professional life. Like Warren Buffett, I plan to tap dance to the office every day. Why? Because happiness is not just a choice, it's my choice.

When you wake up in the morning, tell yourself you are going to be happy. Commit to it, and it will be so. Whatever happens, accept it graciously and happily and smile and find the bright side. When you stop worrying about things, you will soon run out of things to worry about. Worry, fear, and misery (and all the negative emotions) are like animals that must be fed if they are to live. Stop feeding them. Starve the bastards and don't even stick around to watch them die. Skip on down the Yellow Brick Road and be HAPPY!

God bless you. Make it your best and happiest day yet!

- Adolfo

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Day # 194 - Way Beyond

I got on a conference call last night. This is remarkable because I was on this call representing someone I no longer work for. I am no saint, I am not superior to those who have the common sense not to work for someone they no longer work for. I made a promise to a client and kept it. The client is a travel agent / tour leader who is bringing some folks to South Florida for a cruise. He had asked if I would get on the phone with his clients and tell them about things to do in the area. I said yes.

Why? It took five minutes and greatly raised my stock in this client's eyes. He lives out on the Left Coast and it never hurts to have friends in the Bay Area. Besides, he's a really nice guy who took it pretty hard when he found out I had moved on.

Part of what I did on this call was shed a positive light on someone for whom I should have no positive feelings. It stands to reason that I am not happy with my former employer or they would be my current employer. The truth is, I have learned over the years that no matter what else happens, you must strive for excellence. I am not talking on a professional level, but on a human one.

Be a person of excellence. Do more than is expected and more than is asked. Do it without the expectation of reward. You'll be amazed at how much you can accomplish and you will discover that doing the right thing is a reward in itself.

Make it your best day yet. God bless you. Stay warm.

- Adolfo

Monday, December 6, 2010

Day # 193 - Tales of The Traveling Cookie

My five-year old daughter, Emily, is one of those kids. She eats only what she wants, when she wants. Like most children, she can be bribed, but for the most part it's macaroni & cheese and some form of chicken nuggets. She is also not fond of breakfast, unless it's the weekend, in which case, I am sent to the store for a loaf of Cuban bread, which is served unheated and without butter. She asks for cafe con leche which she will take a couple of sips of. (For those of you not from Hialeah, cafe con leche is Cuban coffee with warm milk. It's like a cafe latte, but $2,000 cheaper.)

Last night, Abby made her outrageous chocolate chip cookies. This morning, Emily asked for one. I know, it's not appropriate breakfast food, sue me. Emily took the cookie in hand and walked all over the house, taking bites that were so small, the cookie kept its original shape. The dog eagerly followed her around, hoping for a crumb, or the whole cookie, to fall.

I am not crazy about the kids eating anywhere other than the table. It's messy, it leads to ants and other creepy-crawlies, and it's just not a good habit. I didn't give Emily too hard a time about it, but I did ask her to go to the table, which she did, only to sit there for a minute while holding the cookie in her little hand.

Parents know that most kids are picky eaters. Some, like my wife, get worked up about it. Others, like me, don't sweat it. I give my kids vitamins and they do eat non-junk foods on a regular basis. I also make sure my kids drink plenty of water. In fact, on occasions when we go to restaurants, my kids will ask for water instead of soda (most times - they're still human.)

I pick my battles because I know my children are not malnourished. I know they get everything they need. I know they are not missing anything in their lives, so I can let them have the occasional chocolate chip cookie for breakfast, or mac & cheese four times a week. Go ahead and call the department of children and families on me if you want, but the cookie stays!

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Day # 192 - Lights

We took the girls to The Villages of Gulfstream last night to walk around and see the light show. The show consists of Christmas Trees covered in lights timed to flash on and off in sync with the artificial sounds of the Trans Siberian Orchestra. If you've never heard of TSO, they basically play Christmas Music... badly. Just kidding, it's great and wonderful, it's just a little tiring... for me. I'm old, I guess.

After spending the day cooped up in an office, I needed to be outdoors and this was just the ticket.

If you live in South Florida, you have doubtless heard the commercials for the light show. I have. I was expecting more than the three Christmas Trees I saw. Part of me was expecting my kids to be disappointed by the scope (or lack thereof) of the show. On the contrary, they were asking if we could wait an hour to see it again.

Why the difference in levels of satisfaction? Sure, the fact that they're kids makes them easier to impress, no denying that, but they only knew there was going to be a light show. They thought we were going to drive through the neighborhood, stopping in front of the houses that are lighted up. They couldn't help being impressed. I, who should know better, allowed myself to expect miracles, and so nothing could have reached my level of expectation. So was I wrong to expect so much and were the kids right to have no expectations? In some ways, we were both right and both wrong.

I am obviously stretching here, but our expectations in life should always be high. I heard the commercials for the light show and expected the gates of Heaven to open up. Why? Because that's what I wanted. All I told the kids was that we were going to see a Christmas light show. Period. They didn't know what to expect and were very pleased as a result.

In life, you must expect, and demand, excellence from yourself and other people. Will you sometimes be disappointed? Sure, but if you expect nothing and get it every time, you will not only be disappointed, you will become tired and bitter. Even when someone does more than they needed to, it won't matter, because you didn't expect anything and therefore didn't care and were not invested in the outcome. Win, lose, whatever, is not a way to live. Raise your expectations and let the people around you know. Tell them you expect the best of them, and that they should expect the best of you. This is the key to excellence and success for yourself and for those around you.

God bless you. Make it an excellent day.

- Adolfo

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Day # 191 - A.I.

A.I.: Arrogance & Ignorance. There is a lot of each going around, usually in tandem. I have been exposed to thousands of people over the year and it never ceases to amaze me how little they know - or how little they care to know. We have chosen ignorance as a lifestyle. We are oblivious to the choices we make and the choices made for us, never for a moment thinking that our futures are in the hands of disinterested, arrogant people.

The biggest distinction between the Haves and the Have-Nots is information. By information, I mean the Haves choose to be informed, to be educated. They spend their money on books and education and they work as hard as they have to in order to succeed, while the Have-Nots do not invest in their education and do not work as hard as they can. Why? My belief is that many of the Have-Nots have been convinced by the government and the media that those who are successful, or rich, only became so by cheating. The Have-Nots are constantly told the rich get richer while the poor get poorer. You spend enough time telling a bird it can't fly and it will eventually believe you.

The arrogant politicians believe they are better than the rest of us. They believe they are a glamorous race of people who were born to lead. The unwashed masses exist to do their bidding. The common folk, the Have-Nots, believe this. What else will they believe? They hear the words of their "Leaders" and they look around at their environment and they believe it's true. Sometimes, one gets away, but we don't want to talk about that now, do we?

When "Leaders" convince their followers that they don't stand a chance because of their skin color, their ethnicity, their gender, or whatever BS reason they can come up with, the followers don't stand a chance. Too many blacks believe that the world outside is a racist place where they don't stand a chance. Even our president, who is half-black, perpetuates this lie. Hispanics are no better off. We are told that the US is racist because some of us would like immigration laws observed. They are told this so often that they can't believe anything else. These people are suffering as a result of their own ignorance. They could accomplish anything if they would just decide to believe in themselves.

You avoid this by getting your information from various sources. Right or Left, doesn't matter. Read both. Have a little CNN with your Fox. Read magazines and books and more than one newspaper. Then, and here's the radical part of my plan, think! For the love of all that matters, THINK! Use your head. Ignorance is a choice. We are all guilty of it at times and that's no crime. Ignorance becomes criminal when left unchecked. Pick up a book and think for yourself. Encourage others to do the same. Build yourself up and let no one tear you down. It's your life... Live it!

Adolfo

Friday, December 3, 2010

Day # 190 - Free at Last

For a while now, I've been writing about certain situations, mostly related to business and management, without giving too many details. It doesn't take Sherlock Holmes to know I was referring to my own job and my unhappiness with it. I was cryptic because I was being respectful of my employers and protective of my job.

Well, that's all over now. After months of misery, of being under-appreciated, overworked, and underpaid, I resigned. There was no fit of rage, no "Jerry Maguire" speech, no AK-47. I didn't even stop and say good-bye to my co-workers. I simply responded to yet another insulting email written in broken English by a person who is not my boss, with: "Effective immediately, I resign my position as director of sales." I hit send. I walked out. I came home, made lunch, and helped Abby with spring cleaning (I know it's not spring - you get me.)

The calls came after, along with promises that all I deserved was just around the corner, like the drunk who promises his wife as she walks out the door that he was planning to go to the meeting next week. Too little too late.

My former boss asked how I could make a decision as serious as this one in a moment of anger. I told him the moment I walked out was the end of my anger. It was an easy decision, one that instantly brought peace. It wasn't about them or about me; we just weren't the right fit.

I learned more in the time working for this company than in any other similar period of time in my life. I learned:

- Get it in writing. Although we want to believe the best in people, written agreements help define what that is. Although most of us would never steal or kill, knowing there are laws meant to punish those who do provides comfort to us, as well as a behavioral guideline.

- Set the expectations. I gave too much for too little. It's hard to get someone to expect any different once you spoil them.

- Stand your ground. Not an inch of our territory, not a stone of our fortress. If you give someone an inch, they will take you a mile. Draw your boundaries and adhere to them; if you don't, no one else will.

- Respect: Give it, earn it, expect it, demand it. If you allow yourself to be disrespected once, you'd best get used to it.

- Know your value and demand it.

I may eventually sit down and write a memoir of this experience. It has been eye-opening and educational. I learned a lot about what not to do in business and I think the world could benefit from the knowledge - especially younger people coming up in business.

I am free. I know where I've been. I know where God is taking me. I'll let you know when I get there.

God bless you. Make it a great day. Be free.

- Adolfo

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Day # 189 - Operational Freedom

Today's post is about business. It's an operations thing. Those of you who work for someone else will understand. Those of you who are self-employed, stop reading now, fall on your knees and thank God for that gift - then get back to work, because you don't want to risk losing that freedom.

In business, as in government, or any other organization, it is important to know your role. It is important for roles to be clearly defined for each member of the team, from the CEO to the janitor. This seems elementary, but it's one of those things that can easily be lost when there are too many people trying to be the chief - it leaves no little Indians. The micromanaging control-freaks of the world will soon enough lose the best people and wind up with the weak and the lazy running their departments or businesses. Most of these second-rate "businesspeople" will be okay with it, because they are so unsure of their worth as human beings that they would rather hold on to their power and fail, than release it and prosper.

The formula to success in an organization is simple:

1 - Hire the best people you can find.
2 - Pay them what they are worth.
3 - Incentivize their performance.
4 - Get the hell out of their way.

Your organization will never thrive if you have an accountant watching the sales department, telling them how to speak to clients, when and if they can take a lunch break, monitoring emails and taking them out of context, and generally interfering with the smooth operation of the single most important function of any business. A hospital administrator should never walk into an operating room and tell the surgeon how to do her job, either.

This should speak for itself, but common sense ain't all that common.

The same applies to children. Give your kids enough space to operate. Let them make mistakes. This is important in their formation. If you don't know failure, you will never know success. If you control every step of their lives, they will never learn to make decisions and never know what they can be - so they won't have any incentive to try to become more, to become better, to reach their God-given potential.

Allow your people to breathe. A closed fist may not let anything go, but it also cannot receive anything; and the tighter your grip, the more (whatever) will slip from your fingers.

Adolfo

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Day # 188 - Decisions Then and Now

I am a proponent of speaking the truth. I think everyone should. Lies, or even withholding the truth are destructive. If not to the person being lied to, then definitely to the liar. It is a shame that we sometimes find ourselves in situations where we have to hold back and not speak our minds. The result is typically having to swallow a bitter pill.

I find myself in such a situation right now. I find myself needing to keep my mouth shut about certain things I would rather not keep my mouth shut about. I call it eating sh_t sandwiches. And it's as bad as it sounds.

While I don't consider myself a blunt person, I am an honest person - or at least try to be. Having to bite my tongue is a very uncomfortable situation but ultimately I am responsible for this. I put myself in this situation and I have to ride it out. It's man-up time.

This is why it's important to weigh every decision you make because they all matter. Keep in mind that what you do today may have consequences that you will feel, if not tomorrow, years from now. Using personal finances as an example, the latte you spend five bucks on today, could cost you big time down the road when you're broke, just like the cookies and milk you have before bed can affect your health down the road.

The point is we should take a little time to plan things out so we don't paint ourselves into corners. Freedom is the most important thing you have and you should make sure that you make no decisions to jeopardize it. Be deliberate. Be thoughtful. Be responsible. Be free.

God bless you. Make the right decisions. Make it your best day.

- Adolfo

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Day # 187 - Know Your Value

I witnessed something yesterday that left me feeling a little sick to my stomach. I can't go into too many details, but I want to share the lesson with you: know your value, your worth. Women, especially, should know their worth and see themselves as complete human beings, not T & A.

In a world that has become increasingly superficial, where pornography has become mainstream and thought is not so much outlawed (yet) as out of fashion, it's more important than ever to know your value and to instill a sense of value in your children. We have been trained to believe that if you're not famous, you're worthless. At the same time, we have blurred the line between fame and infamy. It doesn't matter what you're doing, as long as lots of people see you doing it.

I hate to continue on the TV rant, but because it is primarily a visual medium, the greater emphasis is on being seen, not heard or worth hearing, further encouraging the intellectual laziness that is railroading us toward becoming property of China. I have nothing against the Chinese, but I am not interested in becoming one of them.

America is in decline and that decline begins at home, just as this much-needed revolution must. Generations of Americans living in poverty, living for the momentary pleasures of parties and gadgets with no thought to the future and a blindness to the need to improve, and a political system that benefits from their suffering. Those in the middle are content to spend all their money plus what they can borrow to have hi-def, hi-fi, and high performance, but not a thought to the future. People are determining their worth by the stuff they have, the clothes they wear, the cars they drive. If your value is determined by things that can be taken away, it isn't really value, is it? It's just crap.

Value yourself. Respect yourself. Earn the respect of others by being a person worthy of respect. Look within for your value, count your blessings, knowing that blessings rarely come with a receipt or a money-back guarantee. Become a person of value and set the example for your children or for other young people - or just do it because you should. You are created in the image of God, your value has been determined by a much more credible source.

God bless you. Make it your best day yet.

- Adolfo

Monday, November 29, 2010

Day # 186 - Up in Lights

I finally got the Christmas lights up yesterday. I think my little house looks beautiful. I even got my little Snoopy countdown till Christmas up on the roof, complete with Woodstock. All I can think about at this point is how to improve it for next year. I'm going to need more lights. Lots more lights.

Now that it's done, and the tree and lights are up and all that remains is to wait for Santa, I have time to reflect. Am I engaging in the consumerism that I sought to avoid by not participating in Black Friday? Is this display, and my desire to expand it in 2011, gaudy? Or am I just showing the Christmas spirit I feel within me? Who knows? All I can say for sure is that I don't enjoy climbing up on that very high, steep roof, and I do it anyway. Part of it has to be when my daughters went outside and gasped and told me how beautiful their house looked. Maybe it's that even though they saw me working and climbing and Chevy-Chasing all over the house, they were still surprised and pleased with the finished product. Maybe it's because I get to be a hero to my little girls and for one moment I can feel like I am nearly good enough to be their Daddy. Then Emily said, "Let's go inside, I want ice cream," and I was promptly returned to earth.

The house can't be seen from space, and it won't win any awards, but I'm happy with it, and my family is happy. For the next month, it will be Christmas at the Jimenez Hacienda, and we will enjoy every minute of it. I can't say the same for the time I will spend at the malls.

Find a little light in your life and share it with your community and with the world. The best way to make the world a better place is to start with your own little piece of it. Be a light for the people you care most about and they will pass that along, creating a better world, and your legacy.

God Bless You. Season's Greetings. Make it your best day yet.

- Adolfo

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Day # 185 - O Christmas Tree

The tradition lives on. Every year since moving into our home, we have bought our Christmas Tree on the Saturday after Thanksgiving. Lots of people do, I'm sure. I come from a family that didn't really have a lot of tradition so I feel it's important to establish traditions of my own.

Last year, I had just lost my job a few days before Thanksgiving and was understandably depressed. I still put up a tree. I skipped the decorations on the outside of the house, though, and I realize now what a mistake that was. My children love the lights and the inflatable Santa Claus up on the chimney and I cheated them of it because I was down in the dumps.

I look back now and can see that losing my job was the best thing for me. I needed to be shaken up, kicked out of my comfort zone, and I know that can never happen with a cushy job that doesn't challenge your intellect or your skill. But I digress...

Trimming the tree while listening to Christmas music and that great feeling of seeing little ornaments I hadn't seen since last year; lifting the girls to top the tree (we have a snowman instead of a star this year) all filled me with happiness as I looked into the future and saw them doing the same in their own homes with their own children. It helped me understand that tradition has more to do with the future than with the past.

Enjoy your traditions and share them. If you don't have any, create them, and don't fail to see the difference between tradition and ritual.

Make it your best day yet. God bless you.

- Adolfo

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Day # 184 - Black & Blue Friday

It's officially begun: the Christmas Shopping Season. Consumerism at its worst - or best, if you're in retail. For the next month or so, we will fight traffic, and each other, to get the best deals on things we don't need for people we don't really like. That ain't Christmas, that's X-mas.

We had decided a couple of years ago to scale down Christmas if only for the sake of teaching our children some humility. Kids in general are so spoiled and I don't want mine to be that way. I want them to learn to appreciate the many blessings they have and that will never happen if Santa keeps stuffing a truckload of toys down the chimney. (Yes, as a matter of fact, we do have a chimney, and a fireplace. And no, we never use it.)

The recession helped us along in our plan, or so you would imagine, but we didn't go nearly as far as we should have. Sure we cut back on expenses like the monthly trips to Disney World, but otherwise we kept living high on a very exhausted hog. Now that things had stabilized for us, we are finally applying the lessons of the last year.

We are teaching our kids responsibility, frugality, charity, community, and humility. They need to learn these things if they are to be the people God intends them to be.

So, when you go out shopping this season, don't be afraid to scale back a little. Let the gifts you give the young people in your life be more intangible, and therefore more valuable. Give real building blocks.

God Bless You. Make it a great day.

- Adolfo

Friday, November 26, 2010

Day # 183 - The Hangover

What is it about Thanksgiving that makes pigs of us? Could it be that when it comes to turkey, there's no middle ground? You either make enough for a family of four, or enough for the U.S. Army. There seems to be no middle ground. I am much the same way. Yes, I am a turkey of sorts. I overdid it. Not with alcohol or anything, but with food, glorious food. I was like a goldfish: whatever was in my tank was eaten,

My daughter Melissa gave the blessing and it moved me to tears. She is eight years old and becoming an amazing young lady. One more reason to be thankful.

It's hard not to think of those who couldn't be there, because of distance, prior commitment, or whatever other reason. Why is it human nature that even when you're with people you love, you still want more people you love around you?

My sons are not around as much anymore. AJ was there with his lovely girlfriend, Ella, but Steven was not there and I missed him. If Steven had been there, we'd have no leftovers. That boy can eat!

So we came home, put the girls to bed, and I rubbed Abby's feet. She'd cooked up a storm and maintained her perfect record of creating the greatest of Thanksgiving dinners.

Leaving my in-laws' house, the main street a couple of blocks away was closed off. It was a major car accident. It makes me think about people drinking and driving and May 31, 2004, when a driver high on heroin nearly took what was most precious to me and I wonder what people are thinking. We talk about AIDS awareness and Cancer awareness and all kinds of awareness. You may not be able to control cancer, but you can control your level of self-awareness. Don't drive drunk. Don't let your friends or family do it. If you do and someone gets hurt or killed, you are responsible. It's that simple. You may not be punished by man, but you will be punished. Only an animal with complete disregard for his community would do such a thing. Don't be an animal.

So, I hope you had a happy Thanksgiving, and a safe one. I hope you counted your blessings. I hope you're not out shopping at this hour in the morning, but if you are, get me something nice!

God bless you. Make it your best day yet.

- Adolfo

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Day # 182 - Thanksgiving 365

Many of us will miss the point today. We'll watch parades and football and stuff ourselves with good food, sleep, and do it again. Sure, we'll pray some generic prayer thanking God for all the blessings we have received, but will we mean it? How many of us really appreciate all that we have? I know I sometimes miss the mark in this area. I know I'm not nearly as grateful for all the blessings I have as I should be. My life has been so full of blessings for so long that I have become a little spoiled. I have taken too many things for granted.

I am thankful for:

- My family. This includes my wife and children. My parents, my sister, and in-laws, my nieces and nephews, my cousins, second cousins, and so on. I come from a Cuban family, so everyone is my cousin. If I were to name them individually it would be like publishing the yellow pages.

- My health. Talk about taking things for granted. I don't take care of myself the way I should and yet this beat-up, overweight body of mine keeps ticking.

- My friends. I have been blessed with so many wonderful friends. Some I've known since way back when, and some have come along more recently, all are loved and appreciated.

- My country. I live in the greatest country in the history of the world. I know we are told by too many in Washington and the media that we are fat, lazy, greedy, and everything under the sun, but there has never been a place like this one. There has never been a country that offers so much freedom and opportunity. We have forgotten to be thankful for it. I would be remiss if I didn't express my gratitude for the men and women who make it all possible: the troops. They fight so we don't have to. They are away from their families so that today and every day we can enjoy ours. They are truly the best among us. Please include them in your prayers tonight.

- God. Because there can be nothing if not by His grace. He is the reason the sun comes up and he is the reason you are so marvelously complex. He is the reason for the miracles we witness every day. Don't believe there are miracles happening in the world? Look around. How else do you explain the complexity of your mind or the beauty of clouds floating in the sky? How else do you explain the birds of the air or the fish of the sea? How else do you explain you?

So take a little time to reflect, not just today, but every day. Count your blessings, not your blemishes. Remember that the Bible teaches us that not all things are good, but all things work together for good for those who believe.

Have a blessed, happy Thanksgiving. God bless you. And, uh, save me some stuffing, I may stop by later.

- Adolfo

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Day # 181 - Trust

My son, AJ, works with me. He has for years, but the situation is a little different now than it used to be. For the last four years, he had worked for the family business. Now, he works for the same company I work for. I recommended him for the job, knowing he would not let me down. I trust him. Although he is only 18 years old, he is one of my closest confidantes. He has a wisdom that is beyond his years and a common-sense unmatched by many adults.

AJ came to me yesterday to talk about personal matters. He was nervous and I understand that, but I have always told him that he can talk to me about anything he wants to talk about and I would listen. I never promised him I would be okay with every decision he made, but I would not explode or judge him. We talked about his concerns and I feel better about things. I feel even closer to him.

Not judging a person is not the same as accepting every choice they make. I am not saying that if your child is thief or a murderer you should be okay with it just because they are your child. I am, however, saying that if your kid is afraid to talk to you, or simply doesn't want to deal with your drama, they will not talk to you, and you won't be of any use to them whatsoever.

AJ and I spoke about his faith. I find myself getting closer to God every day and I want him to come with me. He has doubts about his faith, he gets angry at God, as so many of us do from time to time. He needed his father to reassure him that this is somewhat normal. Until our faith is cemented and our relationship with God is well-established, there will always be room for doubt, and blaming God for your ills is an easy, convenient way to absolve yourself of responsibility. I'm learning this now, I am grateful for the chance to teach this to him at this young age.

I do not advocate being your child's buddy, cool parents are usually not very effective. Discipline is crucial and should not be set aside so that your kid will like you. The important thing is to love your children as God loves you: without condition, without judgment, without limit.

God bless you. Make it your best day yet.

- Adolfo

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Day # 180 - Dinero

Funny thing about money. We all know what we should do with it and most of us (and by most I mean the great majority) choose not to do it anyway. It's been a year since I was a banker, and it was something I truly enjoyed doing. What's interesting is that now is when I understand how bad I was at it.

I was good from my employer's standpoint: I was a good salesman, I brought in business, asked for referrals, and closed deals. But, the truth is, I didn't always do what was right for my customers. For what it's worth, I NEVER steered anyone in the wrong direction, I just sold my little heart out because that's where the money was.

I often had people come in to talk about overdraft fees. My first question was always, "Where's your check register?" 99 out of 100 customers didn't have one. Why? Because most people don't have a basic understanding of personal finance. They don't know how to balance a checkbook. They don't understand the concept of saving for a rainy day or of not getting in trouble with credit cards.

Schools are busy teaching the mythology of global warming, they're teaching about homosexuality, the nonsense of evolution, but they never teach kids how to create a budget or how a mortgage works. The banks don't mind. They make lots of money off of overdraft fees. I'm not the conspiracy theory type, but I wonder if the banks have anything to do with the fact that schools don't teach finance.

Regardless, it is the responsibility of the parents to teach their children everything they need to know, and this includes basic finance: balancing a checkbook, saving for retirement (because Social Insecurity, the worlds biggest Ponzi scheme, can't be trusted), how mortgages and insurance work. I'm not saying you need to be Warren Buffett, but you do need to know, and share, the basics, if you want your family to prosper.

Some of us learned the wrong things from our parents (I am not one of those people, thank God) and we're teaching those bad habits to our kids. It's like the battered woman who never teaches her son the importance of respecting women; it's up to us to break generational curses, and poor money-management skills are a curse. Make no mistake about it.

I wish I'd written this when I was a banker, I could have saved a lot of pain, and stuck it to the bank in the process.

God bless you. Make it your best day yet. And go balance your checkbook.

- Adolfo

Monday, November 22, 2010

Day # 179 - The Season Begins

In three more days it will be Thanksgiving. Most of us are shifting into day-off mode, "exercising" to stretch our bellies to make room for the delicacies we will enjoy on Thursday. We will gather with friends and family and we will give thanks. In many cases it will be a ritual, we pray because we're supposed to pray and we eat because it's good to eat. Then we go shopping and lose our humanity in that swirl of consumerism known as black Friday. Funny thing about the season: it gives us a chance to miss the point twice.

Potential Church, where my family and I attend service, ran a food drive in cooperation with the Miami Rescue Mission yesterday. We dropped off a couple of turkeys. It felt nice and empty to do it. Why empty? There's something just slightly off about donating food before National Pig-Out Day. I will eat better today, even if I'm not hungry, than most of the world will eat all week. I once read where someone wrote, "The next time you feel like complaining, remember that your garbage can eats better than 90% of the world." Kinda makes you think.

The message in church yesterday was about the history and meaning of the Christmas Tree. The subtext dealt with helping those less fortunate. I have, recently, become a student of Ayn Rand and her philosophy of objectivism. Objectivism is the political philosophy of ego, or, every man for himself, basically. Now I find myself needing to reconcile Objectivism with Christianity. It's easier than you'd think: the better I do, the more good I can do.

The tough part here is the give a man a fish, teach a man to fish thing. Some people were never taught to fish, they've been given fish their whole lives. How to appeal to their egos, how to get them to learn to do what has been done for them for so long, is the greatest challenge there is. The transition is challenging, not impossible, but difficult, especially in this kind of economic environment, and during the time of year when charity is expected.

What are you going to do, not only during this season, but from here on out, to help make your country and your world a better place? Who will you teach to fish? What family will you help? Where will you volunteer? What will you do? Do something, and take your children with you. If you are blessed enough to give them Thanksgiving and Christmas, even modest ones, than you are doing better than so many out there. Service to your fellow man is the path to prosperity, to understanding, to joy, and yes, to heaven.

God bless you. Make it someone else's best day yet, as well as your own.

- Adolfo

http://www.potentialchurch.com

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Day # 178 - Friends

I woke up thinking about people I know - and people I've known. My daughters are 8 and 5 and already become a little anxious about their friends. I asked them yesterday if they would like to switch schools and Emily, the baby, said she wouldn't want to leave Mia, who is her BFF since 4K. I think that's precious and I love that my children are already aware of the importance of valuing friendship. I don't know where their friendship will lead. It would be wonderful for them to be one another's maid of honor some day (in the very distant future!)

I spoke to my old friend Kiki on Friday. We hadn't spoken in over a year, although his wife, Thania, and I regularly harrass one another on Facebook. It was as if no time had passed. While there was catching up to do, the dynamic of our friendship had not changed at all. We laughed about the same stupid things, told the same stupid jokes, and I silently marveled at the fact that we will both soon be forty. The other thing I realized is how much I miss him.

I have lots of friends. There are people I am close to and confide in. There are people I maintain contact with, and there are people I meet, enjoy my time with, and never or rarely see again. It's all good. This is part of a rich life, it's part of a complete life.

A friend is someone who matters in all the aspects of your life, who understands, or at least listens to you when you talk and makes you feel understood. We all can use some of this.

So, be a friend. Listen, be there. Share love and hope and your ears and your eyes. Share a laugh or a tear, or just a "remember the time when..."

Remember:

Think where man's glory most begins and ends and say my glory was I had such friends. - William Butler Yeats.

God bless you. Make it a great day.

- Adolfo

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Day # 177 - Anniversary

A year ago today, I was let go from my job. I didn't know it at the time but that simple act would plunge me into what has been the roughest and most didactic year of my life. I don't look back at it with bitterness, but with gratitude. I had grown comfortable, fat, and lazy. Now I'm hungry. I have my ambition and desire back. I have my priorities straight. Sometimes it takes a big moment to get you to correct your course. My big moment came on November 20, 2009.

It's been said that years teach us more than books. This year was definitely the equivalent of earning a master's degree from the University of Hard Knocks. I'd already earned my bachelor's from UHK, but I needed to go back to school.

I was initially upset. I was angry, I felt like a failure, even though I'd done nothing to earn my dismissal. Like most men, I take a great deal of pride and my feeling of self-worth and man-ness from my job. I had just been castrated, emasculated. It took me seven months to find a job and it took me a while to see what a gift I'd been given.

It was a gift because the forced austerity taught me to appreciate every nickel I earn and spend. I learned the value of my labor, and of my mind. I learned the importance of time with my family. I learned that the best way to improve yourself is sometimes to break yourself - or simply to rebuild when you are already broken.

I learned who my friends are. I learned whom I cannot trust. Instead of hating my enemies, I learned the point and the value of praying for them. I learned forgiveness, humility, and the value of improving myself. I learned to live without negativity (still working on it, I admit.) I learned to submit to God's will. I learned that the noblest vengeance is to forgive.

All this from those two little words Donald Trump made cool.

I can look back at that conversation of a year ago and say it altered the course of my life. The difference between now and then is I can say it was a very good thing indeed. I can look back and even though I know I didn't deserve what was done to me, I am better for it. The loss happened on the other side of the table. It's been all positive gains for me - even if it hurt for a while.

God bless you. Make it your best day yet.

- Adolfo

Friday, November 19, 2010

Day # 176 - Bridges

We've all walked away from someone or something. It may have been a job, an organization, a relationship, a neighborhood. When leaving a situation for a better opportunity, it's tempting at times to think you'll never have to look back and to therefore leave in a bad, or inconsiderate, manner.

I have witnessed this several times in the last few months, where people, when deciding to quit their jobs, have gone off on management, sending out lengthy, insulting emails, and copying - wait for it - the entire company. It's done in the hopes of taking a parting shot at their now-former bosses, but these people are hurting no one but themselves. We've all been disappointed with a job, we've all been treated unfairly, and we've all wanted to tell someone off.

What I've learned, thankfully, by observation and experience, is that the world is small and the circles of your chosen industry are even smaller. You never know who your next boss will be.

I was once part of a team that followed a director of marketing from one hotel to another. Just about every manager and every quality employee left the hotel en masse. The general manager we were abandoning asked me where I was going and I explained that this seemed like the right opportunity for me. We parted on good terms. A few years later, this man became my general manager again. I was terrified. But the fact that I had been respectful and had given my notice, and done things in a professional manner, left me with nothing to worry about. There were no hard feelings and we worked together fine.

People will come in and out of your life. That's normal. What you want to be sure of, though, is that you leave them all with the right impression, that you never have to worry what you've made someone think of you. I am not suggesting you spend your life worrying what people think of you because this will never lead to success. I am suggesting you behave in a manner which will ensure that you never have to worry what people think of you.

God bless you. Make it your best day yet.

- Adolfo

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Day # 175 - Pull

Inertia is one of the most powerful inside-of-us killers of potential. It's so easy to stay with what is comfortable. It's easy to stay on the couch in front of the TV and not read a book that will make you better. It's easy to gossip with your friends by the water cooler when you should be making prospecting calls. It's easy to eat cookies when you should be at the gym or riding your bike. With the exception of the TV, I am, to some degree or other, guilty of all of the above.

I get my work done, I go the extra mile, but I often pull over when on the extra mile and see the sights. I agree that you have to stop and smell the roses, but not until your work is done. You must fight the pull.

Pull comes in many forms. There are millions of productivity and personal-development thieves out there. Television is my pet-peeve, but the Internet can be as bad. News is a killer, gossip is a killer, laziness is a killer. The list goes on and on. In order to better yourself, you must resist pull. You must realize that your natural inclination will always be toward the easy, the lazy path.

I want to make a distinction between inclination and instinct. I trust my instinct 100%. You should listen to your gut. Listen to still small voice in your heart. Inclination is our body's natural, often lazy, tendency to do what is easy or pleasurable. Follow your instinct, but fight your tendency. Until your tendencies are all transformed into positive habits, it's an uphill, in-the-snow and driving wind battle. But once you create new tendencies, you will be better off.

I have won the battle against caffeine. I resolved on June 11, 2010 that I would never drink another drop of caffeine and I haven't. It's been five months and I can't imagine ever drinking caffeine again. I wake up early, I function perfectly, no crankiness, sleepiness, irritability, or any of the other things caffeine addicts experience when they don't get their fix. I know, I used to be one of them. I find myself rejecting alcohol, too. I used to enjoy the occasional glass of wine. Abby and I have quite a few very nice bottles in the house. Now, they all taste like vinegar to me. This is not to say I'll never drink another adult beverage, but I probably won't.

I resisted the pull of caffeine, suffered for days through the worst headache of my life, and now I'm free. I resisted the pull and I won. I resisted the pull of news and I am now a much more positive person. I am not an alcoholic and don't have a problem with alcohol, but I am not drawn to it. It can only be good for my health so I won't fight it. I welcome it. Now, about those cookies...

God bless you and thanks for reading. Resist the pull and you'll be on your way to a better you.

- Adolfo

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Day # 174 - Big Brother

While my aim has been to avoid news, there are often stories that are so pervasive, so ever-present, that I can't help hearing about them and forming an opinion - something I've been known to do sometimes.

What I'm referring to is the airport scanner / pat-down situation the administration has decided to throw at us just a week or so before the busiest travel day of the year. In case you're even more uninformed than I am, the Transportation Safety Administration (TSA) has installed full body scanners in airports in an effort to stop terrorists from getting on planes. The problem is that these scanners leave nothing to the imagination. It also turns out the images of your naked body will be stored. Of course, you can opt for a groping, I mean, a pat-down, which is roughly the equivalent of letting a TSA Stormtrooper slide into third base.

Our National Security Moron Janet Napolitano says the administration is considering an exception for women in Burkas. Have you seen the pictures of the nun and the three-year old girl being pat down? When was the last time a nun blew up a plane? And the only time babies blow up is in the cereal aisle. So, in the name of political correctness, air travel has now become a grope-fest.

I am reminded of the world I'm living in whenever I drive in Broward County, Florida in what used to be the United States of America. You can't stop at an intersection and not see the invasive eye of the camera staring at you from one direction or another. My point is, where does it end?

I gave up news and this makes me glad I did. It also makes me wish I hadn't. There is so much happening out there that I feel not being informed is almost dangerous. Maybe everything in moderation?

No. I feel much too positive to allow Comrade Obama and Company to creep back into my life.

I will say we could learn a lot from El Al, the Israeli airline. They don't probe or poke. They profile, and it works. Their safety record is perfect. No terrorist attacks on what is, by far, the hottest target on the planet. Forget political correctness and keep us safe while respecting our privacy. The day toddlers and grandmothers start blowing up planes, you'll have my support for this kind of nonsense - come to think of it, no. I'd rather give up my life than my freedom.

On a smaller scale, a kid named Andrew DeMarchis decided to sell cupcakes at the local park and was shut down by the cops when a councilman found out he was (gasp!) earning money without a permit. What a bastard! The kid is 12 years old! Remember lemonade stands, councilman? No, you're probably one of those spineless types who never had the stones to be entrepreneurial.

Dear Reader, I implore you, don't let the long arm of government get a hold of you. Soon after, its hand will be around your throat. Stand up for your rights. It's all we have.

- Adolfo

This has been an editorial and it most definitely reflects the views of Adolfo Jimenez

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Day # 173 - The Right Moment

Have you ever felt the urge or the desire to do something big, something out of the ordinary, and then stopped yourself because it didn't seem like the right time? I don't mean buying a sports car you can't afford or a $1,000 pair of shoes. I mean something of substance, something of importance.

Have you been thinking of starting a business or going back to school? Have you thought about switching careers and doing what you really love? Have you thought of quitting everything and backpacking across Europe, or the U.S.? How about training to run a marathon? Where does it itch?

I can tell you from my own experience that waiting for the right moment is no different than deciding not to do it at all. Why? Because the right moment will never arrive. The stars will never align just so. The right moment is the moment when inspiration strikes. Do not doubt your gut. Your gut is the voice of God whispering in your ear. If that still, small voice says it's time, then you'd better believe it's time. Don't fear failure. Don't fear rejection. The biggest failure is the failure to act. The biggest, and most painful, rejection is when we reject what the voice is telling us; when we put things off, waiting for another, better, moment.

Whatever it is that's been itching, scratch it. Do what you have to do in order to do what you want to do. All you have in the end are the memories. All you create will be left behind. Decide what that will be and then make it happen. You don't want to lay there at the end of your days, wishing you had done something. People who find themselves there will tell you there was never a right moment or a wrong one, but that every moment could have been the moment, if only they had chosen to make it so.

- Adolfo

Monday, November 15, 2010

Day # 172 - As long as I'm up...

For so long, I've woken up in the middle of the night and made no use of the time, thinking of it as an inconvenience, or TV time, or time for mindless web-surfing. Now that I have no TV, I am putting the time to better use. I pray for a while and then I go online to write this blog.

I have written about those small hours when the rest of the world is asleep and you can listen to God but I have a hard time taking my own advice. I allow the anticipation of the noise ahead to steal the silence. I begin to think about work or other challenges and I drown out God's voice. I lose the opportunity to spend time with Him because I am too busy trying to figure out how to do it all on my own.

So I'm writing and soon, after I post, I will either go back to bed to sleep, or I will sit here in my office to pray, to let God guide me. Sometimes, we let our ego convince us that we don't need God. We believe we do everything we do on our own, without help, without divine protection. Maybe we can do it all on our own, but why would we want to?

For me, the hardest part of prayer is keeping my mind from wandering. The day, the stresses, the challenges, the negative voices, all creep in and distract me. It's like they're designed to keep me from speaking to, or more importantly, listening to, God. Even as I write this, in an effort to acknowledge the challenges, the distractions come up: a piece of paper of no particular importance catches my eye; a sound outside; the noise of the house settling or the breeze knocking a branch off a tree. The world conspires to keep me from God, to keep me from my best. I am complicit in this because I allow it to happen. Not for long.

Find your quiet time. Find time to be alone with God, alone with your thoughts. Quiet the noise and find peace. It is there that you'll find God. It is there that you'll find answers.

- Adolfo

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Day # 171 - What Not To Change

This exercise has been about change. Change is constant and would be happening to me anyway, but I decided to take the wheel and guide myself to the right kind of changes. I was in class yesterday at church. It's a class on personal finance, and, being a reformed banker, it's amazing that I already know and understand everything we're "learning," but was trained by my employers to convince my clients that the opposite was good for them.

After class, the subject of finances for single people came up. I gave the singles in the class one bit of advice: learn good money habits, and when you meet the person you will spend your life with, make sure they share your good habits, don't allow their uninformed habits to rub off on you.

As the years pass, we mature. (Nothing obvious about that statement.) But sometimes, we can lose track of our goals or trade in our good habits as our lives get busier. We can get so caught up in a moment, a movement, a person, a relationship, a problem, or countless other things, that we trade off out principles, or lose sight of them. You need to stay focused on what is right and what works and never let go of that.

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Day # 170 - Traffic

There is an expression: "There are no traffic jams on the extra mile." It's true. Truer words may never have been spoken. It's when you are going above and beyond that you will encounter the least resistance. It's when your out early or out late, that that the noise has quieted down or gone away and you are free to do your best.

You can accomplish anything if you don't care who gets the credit or who sees you doing the work. If you are willing to work in solitude, in the shadows, far from the eyes of your peers and far from the chatter of the proverbial water cooler, there is no limit to what you can accomplish.

At least twice a month, I head into my office at about 7:00AM and I catch up on the work I don't like doing, but have to do. I get it out of the way before the phone starts ringing and people start popping into my office, and I clear the junk off my desk, answer emails, file, and all the other stuff that takes time I don't have. After one of these sessions, I feel completely revived and energized because the nonsense is out of the way. Now, I can focus on clients and the parts of my job I enjoy.

Make a little time every day for yourself. Not "Calgon, take me away" bubble bath time, but time to do a little extra, time to travel the extra mile. You'll be glad you did.

- Adolfo

Friday, November 12, 2010

Day # 169 - Gossip

It is a destructive force. It can ruin relationships, reputations, careers, and even lives. Gossip is so bad even the bible speaks against it. Yet, we are all guilty of it. I know, because I am one of the guilty. We often try to depict gossip as an activity belonging only to women, but men are just as guilty. When someone gossips, it is a display of their character – or lack thereof. Gossip is an activity of cowards and hypocrites. Like we said when we were kids: if you have something to say, say it to my face.

I encounter gossip on a regular basis. Oftentimes I manage to keep my mouth shut. Other times I get sucked right into the sewer. There are lots of reasons to gossip, ranging from their insecurities to jealousy and envy, or just being a lousy person. We gossip to make ourselves feel better – it’s sad when the only way to do that is by tearing others down.

As I mentioned, I am as guilty of it as anyone else. The worst part is that I despise this type of behavior. I know it’s wrong. It’s low. I have improved in my ability to avoid it, but I slip. It takes a constant effort. Quitting gossip is like quitting smoking or giving up caffeine: it takes effort, dedication, and motivation.
You have to know why you’re doing what you’re doing. Then you have to do it.

How I fight it is simply by walking away. If I can’t walk away, I choose not to participate. Sometimes, I am the agitator, the destroyer, if you will. I am learning to pull myself back and to focus on the task at hand. It’s easy to get lost if you allow yourself to enjoy the gossiping and backbiting. It can actually feel good to talk about others. You think you’re hurting them when really you’re only hurting yourself.

Sometimes we gossip because we want to be part of the clique. We want to be in with a group of people so we gossip about the boss, we gossip about coworkers. We gossip about our friends or even our family. Think I’m kidding? Have you never complained about your spouse to someone? Think real hard on this one. Have you ever told someone of the opposite sex something about your spouse? Something unflattering and personal – even private? You want to believe you were venting, not gossiping. Keep lying to yourself if you must. You know the truth. You may have been “venting” but when that person twists and tells the tale to the next person, you have started the snowball that could easily become an avalanche. And you did it to someone you love.

We should honor and praise our spouses, our co-workers, our loved ones and even our bosses. I know you’re thinking I don’t know your boss, or the snakes you work with. This may be true, but you need to rise above it all. If you need to vent, I understand that, but save it for your spouse, or your best friend, not for standing around the water cooler. Decompression should never equal destruction.

Would you trust someone who you knew to be a hypocrite? Of course not, but you are painting yourself to be a hypocrite when you backstab and gossip. If you gossip to me about her, how do I know you won’t gossip to her about me? I don’t. All I know from this conversation is that you can’t be trusted.

Be the bigger person. Walk away. Disengage from the gossip and the noise and the hypocrisy. Be impeccable with your words.

Remember:

- Walk away.
- Be an excellent person. Excellent persons do not gossip or accuse people who aren’t around to answer the accusation.
- Praise publicly. Criticize privately.
- You can’t expect to be trusted if you are viewed as a hypocrite.
May God bless you and help you to keep your mouth shut. Make it your best, gossip-free day yet.

- Adolfo

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Day # 168 - Chain of Command

In life, and in business, there is always a chain of command. We all have to answer to someone - a boss, a customer, a voter, parents, loved ones. Even the president is supposed to answer to voters; although that probably doesn't happen the way it's supposed to.

Too often, people look for who to blame, not how to fix a particular problem. It's easier and, for the weasels, cleaner. These people don't realize that when you point a finger, three are pointing back at you. Those who attempt to profit at the expense of others will eventually have to answer for their actions. Of course, when that moment comes, they'll sink down into the abyss pointing at the iceberg.

I think about the recent foreclosure mess. Politicians pointed fingers at the banks, when it had a lot to do with banks complying with the rules congress had set forth. Did you hear Barney Frank talk about how the congress should have kept a closer eye on Fannie and Freddie? Of course not. Taking responsibility, especially when things are a mess, is a grown-up thing to do. Congress is clearly not up to the task. They pointed those fingers and no one said a word, but history will be the final judge.

Be different. Be a problem solver. I've said it before: Only point your finger to lead the way. When you see a problem in your organization, don't think of how you can use it to burn someone; figure out a solution. Don't ignore problems, deal with them. If you want to come to the attention of the right people, this is how it's to be done. Besides, life has a way of paying you back for these things. Some call it Karma. Call it what you will - if you are one of these finger-pointing, backstabbing people, you are getting slaughtered in other areas of your life, even if you don't know it yet.

Do the right thing; you will be rewarded.

- Adolfo

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Day # 167 - Self-fulfilling Prophecies

The "fall back" change in time has me out of sorts. I'm sleepy by nine and up before 2:00AM every day. It happens every year. Why does it happen every year? Because I expect it to happen every year; because I just said it happens every year. It is a self-fulfilling prophecy because I choose to fulfill it.

A self-fulfilling prophecy is something that doesn't really exist. We decide if the prophecy will come true or not. We determine the future, not blind luck or "fate." Fate and destiny are negotiable. Never forget that.

I think back to my teachers when I was a kid and how many of them told me how full of promise and potential I was. I think I should have listened. They prophecied that I would be a great man. I chose not to fulfill that prophecy (for a while, anyway.)

On of the central themes of this blog is that you will meet yourself at your expectations. If you expect to be great, you will be. If you expect less, you'll be less. No one decides this but you. Until I stop expecting to have a hard time sleeping after the end of Daylight Savings Time, I will continue to have a hard time sleeping. Until I expect great things, I will have to settle for mediocrity.

Say what you want out loud. Don't just say you want it. Say it as if you already have it. "I am successful," or, "I have a happy marriage," Whatever you want, you must believe you already have it. Visualize your ideal self, the more successful you, and let the prophecy be fulfilled!

God bless you. Expect a great day - you will get it!

- Adolfo

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Day 166 - From Ambition to Meaning

Wayne Dyer calls it "The Shift," the time in your life when your focus shifts from ambition to meaning. It's a revelation of sorts. You stop caring so much about what you can have and start caring more about what you can give.

Of course, I still have ambition. I want to be great at what I do. I want to earn a living and my family will endure no hardship because of my shift. On the contrary, the more I focus on the welfare of others, the more God will bless my family. I have seen this working in my life and it will continue working in my life. The question now is one of degrees.

I don't care for the toys. I never really have, but I care less than ever. I don't want the nice cars, the boat, the summer home. None of it holds my interest anymore. I still want to see the world and have a nice dinner now and then, but I'll see it in my little car. Hold the Cadillac.

Abby and I sat up late last night talking and we both agreed: we've reached a point in our life where the only motivation to make lots of money is to give lots of money away. We aren't ready to give too much away yet, but we are working on it. We are getting our house in order so that it may serve the Lord, and all of humanity. Our legacy need not be an inheritance of money. Our legacy will be one of character. Our children will be able to say their parents made a difference.

Have you found your meaning? Have you decided what you will do to make the world better? I know you say you want to make the world a better place; everyone does. What everyone doesn't do is get to the business of doing it. Choose your passion and give a little bit of yourself or a little bit of your money to it. I am not talking about contributions to politicians if you have a passion for politics. In this area, I would recommend giving your time in order to build your sphere of influence. Volunteer to help kids learn to read. Sponsor a little league team, or coach one. Counsel teenage moms. Lock yourself in your room and pray.

The world needs you and your talents and your dreams. Don't let them go to waste. The time to start is now.

- Adolfo

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Monday, November 8, 2010

Day # 165 - In His Service

For years, all I thought about was becoming a writer. I dedicated every spare moment to my craft, waking early to let the creative juices flow. I was prolific, writing six screenplays, five novels, hundreds of poems, dozens of short stories and essays.

Then I stopped.

Just like that. I stopped writing. Years went by and it was always somewhere in the back of my mind, like a dirty secret. I talked about it once in a while, like an old man who'd been the high school football star. Yeah, I'd tell them, I used to write. Wrote a whole bunch. I could have been one of the good ones.

Eventually, I started writing again, but fiction seemed so trivial. I wrote speeches and I wrote on politics and social issues. Suddenly I was creative again. But I missed fiction. Is it really trivial? No. It's vital.

I wrote a column for the chamber of commerce during my chairmanship. It was cheerleading, mostly, I was vacuuming the carpets on the Titanic post-iceberg. Pointless, but it kept the muscles somewhat loose.

Then I started this blog. I don't know what I hoped to accomplish. I'm not even sure what inspired me, but here I am, writing. Is it "creative" writing? Probably not. Am I going to win a Pulitzer or make a fortune doing this? Nope. Does that matter? Not in the slightest.

The point of this project was to improve myself. Mission somewhat Accomplished. The beauty is that self improvement never ends. We can always get better. We can always do more, be more, expect more (of ourselves.) With this in mind, I volunteered at my church's creative arts department. I went in last night, with several other members of the church, and discussed how I can be of service to God through my writing.

When I think of some of what I've written, I feel a bit embarrassed, maybe even ashamed. Would I want my children to form their opinions of me by reading this stuff? Probably not. The best way to counter it is to write something they can be proud of. And what better than service to God and to mankind? It is my sincere hope that this blog helps you, dear reader, as much as it's helped me. I know many of you who read me, mostly on facebook, make comments, and many more of you don't. I pray that in some small way, I can inspire you, even though that was the last thing on my mind when I began.

I wanted to work the fat out of my mind with this project. I wanted to become a novelist, or essayist. I wanted to make my life better, and, perhaps, make a better living from my keyboard. I still don't know what will happen, but I know my life is better. I also know that if I can serve God using this ability (is it odd that I don't want to call it talent?) that I have put it to the best possible use.

In a time in my life when I feel my heart being pulled in the direction of ministry, this may be the perfect way for me to begin down this path. I hope you will be there with me. I hope my experience will inspire you.

In spite of the challenges of the past year, I feel happier and more fulfilled than I have at any other time in my life. Yes, there are things I need to fix, relationships in need of mending, but I feel as if God is giving me the tools to make the necessary repairs. Every day is a new beginning, every day is the best day of my life.

Take care of yourself. Use your talents to serve others. God bless you.

- Adolfo

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