Thursday, September 30, 2010

# 126 - Programming Happiness

What time do you wake up in the morning? Do you sleep until the last possible moment before getting up rushing through a shower, getting dressed, getting the kids ready, and all the rest? Or do you wake up early enough to have time to really prepare yourself for a successful day?

Some people call me a freak because I am usually awake before 5:00AM and I do it without an alarm clock. On Saturday and Sunday, I sleep in, waking up around 6:00 or 6:30. Don't get me wrong, I have overslept on occasion but I can oversleep and still wake up before most people.

Why have we placed such a high premium on sleep? Is it tiredness or is it laziness. We're told to get 8 hours a night. I haven't had 8 hours since I was in grade school and I am not suffering for it. It's how my body is wired and I'm okay with it. Rising early provides "Me" time and productivity time.

My routine goes like this: I wake up on my own and I can usually tell, to within ten minutes, what time it is. Today is one of those days where it was earlier than I thought. I only know this because the computer tells me so.

I lay in bed for about 15-30 minutes. I have always let me thoughts wander during this time, but I have come to the realization that this is destructive so I now guide my thoughts. I guide them toward thoughts of happiness, fulfillment, success, and love. When my mind wanders in a direction I'd rather not go, I reel it back in, and begin the process again. I imagine my day going smoothly. I see myself having a successful day at work. I think about this blog.

This blog had become a source of stress for me. The thought of writing day after day had become a challenge. I changed my approach. I know I am going to write, I know the words will flow, and all I need to think about at that point is what thoughts I will be sharing with you.

Waking up and giving myself this time also relieves the stress of hurrying and gives me time to start missing my children. I think about waking them up and laying out their uniforms. I think about them brushing their teeth and putting on their uniforms. I get to appreciate them for the miracles they are. Why do I want to miss them? It helps me appreciate them.

I think about my sons, who live on their own, and I wonder how their morning will go. I send them love and blessings and positive thoughts. I let them know I am with them. I ask God to send angels to look after them. I declare their happiness and success.

I declare my own success. I declare blessings over my life and my family and friends. I pray for the president and the troops and the children of the world. I pray for peace and joy. I decide it will be a good day.

Then, I get out of bed. Look out world!

Make it your best day. God bless you.

- Adolfo

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Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Day # 125 - The Case for Optimism

I used to be of the belief that an optimist is someone who is always disappointed. Somehow that idea was stuck in my head at a young age and it stayed with me for a long time. I imagine the reasoning is that life can't meet optimistic expectations, better to be pessimistic and pleasantly surprised.

I know now what a load of crap that is.

Optimism is, of course, about positive expectations and outlook, but there's more to it than that. Optimism is making the best of what you are given. I expected X but got Y. Rather than complain, be thankful it wasn't Z. Oh, no! Anything but the dreaded Z! Optimism is a choice, it's not predetermined. Sure, some of us have a tendency to be darker than others. I know, I am one of those people who tend toward dark thoughts, anger, and cynicism. Positivity is a choice and it's sometimes hard work. Sometimes I have the need to vent my anger. The difference between now and a couple of years ago is that I get the anger out of my system and move on. I don't dwell on things.

My father always told me that temper tantrums will kill a person. I don't know how factual his statement is, but I tend to agree. Sure, you can have a heart attack even if you're the happiest guy in the world, but something tells me it's more likely if you're an angry sort of fellow. Besides, might as well have fun until the moment arrives. Angry people don't have fun. Pessimistic people don't have fun.

If misery loves company, isolate it and let it die. Choose happiness.

Today's Lessons:

- Choose optimism. I promise you will not be disappointed.
- Smile. It's the first step to a positive outlook.
- Hang around positive people. It's contagious.

Declarations:

- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better.
- I am blessed with a positive outlook and positive expectations.

Make it your best day yet, and remember, the best way to do that is by making the best of whatever kind of day it is.

God bless you.

- Adolfo

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Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Day # 124 - Get the Best Deal

We are trained by society to accept what is given to us. We don't go to a marketplace to buy our food and we don't trade the oranges we grew for the rice someone else grew. Everything is packaged, stocked neatly on shelves, and priced to sell. Car dealerships advertise their "No-Haggle" pricing. As if haggling was a bad thing. While I believe business should and could be friendly, I also believe that in order for you to get the best possible deal, you need to remember that the person across the table from you is not your friend. In fact, their interests are in direct conflict with yours.

Say you're buying a car. You find the model you want with the features you need. The sales guy tells you a price. Sure, it sounds like a good price, but is it the best possible deal? Of course not. So, you should haggle. Don't be embarrassed to do it. You are looking out for your best interests and there are plenty of other car dealers out there so be willing to walk away.

If you are offered a job, should you accept the first offer they give you? Absolutely not. Counteroffer. Know your value. If they tell you they are offering you the maximum amount budgeted, it's time to talk perks. Let them know you know what you know. You know?

Why is this important? If you don't negotiate the best possible deal, you will always feel unsatisfied. You will always have that nagging feeling in the back of your head. I am not talking about being greedy, I am talking about not being greedy. I am talking about knowing your value and the value of the things you wish to acquire.

Trust me, I've been on both ends of this. I have done a good job working out a deal, and I've felt the sting of regret several times to. The effort of hard bargaining is a lot easier to swallow.

Make it your best day in every way. God bless you.

- Adolfo

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Monday, September 27, 2010

Day # 123 - Show me the MONEY!

Have you ever noticed how rich you are? Seriously. Put down your $5 cup of coffee and your $1,000 computer and think about it for a moment. When was the last time you went to bed hungry? When was the last time you denied yourself something you wanted? The million-dollar Bugatti doesn't count! Do you know hunger? Do you know need? Have you ever worried that a lack of rain meant a lack of food for your family? Or do you complain that rain means no beach, no baseball game, a slower drive to your cushy job, or whatever?

Do you share your blessings? You know, 10% to church, a little to the homeless lady, sponsor a child, donate to a homeless shelter, any of that hokey stuff? Can't afford it? Wow, that must be rough.

I know as well as anyone that times are rough. I was unemployed for a while and fell behind, burned through my savings, etc. I understand the feeling that you have no money, but it is just a feeling. If you believe you are broke, you will always be broke. If you believe in abundance you will attract it into your life, and then you can do all the things I mentioned above. You will be able to make donations to charity and tithe to your church and help those less fortunate and then you will understand the true meaning of being rich. To hell with the toys, I want to touch lives. Think about it. Do you want a nice car in the driveway or an endowment with your name on it that will help kids get through college long after you've moved on to the next dimension?

Think of what you want and you will attract it. Share what you have and you will multiply it. Continue this pattern and God will bless you until your storehouses run over.

This works. I have experienced it. Be grateful for what you have and take care of it. Share it and reap the rewards. Forget recycling, if you want to save the planet, save the people.

God bless you. Make it your best day by making someone else's day better.

- Adolfo

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Sunday, September 26, 2010

Day # 122 - The Fight in the Dog

I haven't had a day off since Labor day (is that ironic? I can't decide) so I am getting a little tired. I worked the bar last night and had a little run in with a very scary individual. He was intimidating another patron. I asked him to take a seat and cool it and he mouthed off at me, seeing me as sort of a wimpy little restaurant manager type. I told him that if he didn't cool it not only would I have him removed, I would do it personally, physically. I stood real close and spoke softly, but firmly. No fear. He sat down and shut up.

I could tell he was a bully, maybe he really was a tough guy. He probably could have snapped me in two. But there was no way I would have backed down. Why? Not because I'm tough or spoiling for a fight, but because I was right. I also know that if I backed down once, it would have been the story for the rest of my life in that place. As Darren Hardy says, you make your choices and your choices make you.

He later came over to me, apologized, and told me I "castrated" him. I apologized for being harsh, explaining that it's my job to keep everyone in the place happy and safe. Sounds like a combination of clown and mall cop, doesn't it?

The point is that if you are willing to fight, you typically won't need to fight. If you are willing to do whatever is necessary to achieve a goal, you won't have to do it all; life will step in and help you. Your confidence will carry you a long way - and save your neck. I am not talking about bar fights, I am talking about life. Be prepared, be confident, and be willing to do whatever you have to do. I was willing to grab that man by the neck if necessary. He saw that in my eyes and as a result we ended the evening with handshakes instead of handcuffs.

As Mark Twain once said, "It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog."

He was referring to attitude and will. We can all use more of those.

Make it your best day yet. God bless you. And as Billy Joel once said, "Don't take no s**t from nobody!"

-Adolfo

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Saturday, September 25, 2010

Day # 121 - Bury the TV

So I worked an event last night. Wine and food - the usual. Beautiful people and not so beautiful people sipping wine, making conversation, and blah blah blah. I ran into a few old friends and made some new acquaintances and I was surprised at how often TV shows came up in conversation. It seems our "cleverness" is created by Hollywood writers.

Yesterday I wrote about TV for kids and how it's all sarcasm. TV for grown ups is basically the same but with sex added.

Oddly, I didn't feel deprived or even disengaged although I had nothing to say about current events or the latest sitcoms. I steered the conversation back to the banalities I am more familiar with.

Do not fear life without TV. I am proof that you will survive - even in social situations. Take the challenge: One hour of time you would normally spend in front of the tube dedicated to something else. See what a difference it makes.

You'll be glad you did.

- Adolfo

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Friday, September 24, 2010

Day # 120 - Kill Your TV

With the exception of football, I have watched no TV for a couple of weeks. I'm sure I will occasionally watch the Travel Channel, sports, Discovery, etc., but what started off as a quest to live news-free has evolved.

My sister was right. She predicted that eventually I would do away with TV altogether. Ana doesn't watch TV at all. Her children have never seen a TV commercial. Seems impossible, doesn't it? Your initial reaction is that there's something wrong with that picture. Think about it a little more and you'll see there's nothing wrong with it. Everything about it is correct and perfect.

I haven't, until now, been so diligent about protecting my kids from negative influences. And yes, TV is a negative influence. My daughters are seven and five. They watch Nickelodeon and Disney Channel. Have you ever watched these crap factories? The shows are all boring, with no basis in reality (Hannah Montana, iCarly) and instead of humor, they're sarcastic. (I know some of you will say TV is supposed to be an escape and therefore need not be based in reality. This is what cartoons are for. Those suck now, too, by the way.) I watch the girls watching these shows. They don't laugh, but they are convinced these shows are funny. Could it be the canned laughter played after every "joke" has them convinced that what they're watching is funny? That's my bet.

So, there's no TV for them either. Guess what? They're fine. I occupy their minds with other things. I convinced them to do their homework at Grandma's house immediately after school and I reward them with a trip to the park or the YMCA. Otherwise, they would sit in front of the Idiot Box for three hours while waiting to be picked up and do homework at home and go to bed. All crap - no exercise. A sure formula for failure and obesity. My kids deserve better and it's my responsibility to provide it.

Start with an hour a day. Turn off the TV and read a good book or take a walk or whatever. Feed your mind. Do the same for your kids if you have any. You'll be glad you did.

- Adolfo

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Thursday, September 23, 2010

Day # 119 - Running out of Poetry

I remember, for some reason, being at a party about 15 years ago (I was six years old at the time - yeah right!) and telling someone I was running out of poetry. At this point I had been writing for about five years.

I went on to write many more poems and still write poetry now and then. Ironically, I think I might have said that to be poetic. It reminds me of each time someone comes up with the newest, latest idea and you hear someone say there is nothing left to invent, or something to that effect.

I guess this would be true if there were limits to human potential, but we've barely scratched the surface. We use about ten per cent of our brains. If you can squeeze eleven out of your noggin, you could probably rule the world, cure diseases, colonize Mars, or a million other things.

The truth is we never reach our full potential. This is the beauty of the human experience. We can always get better, stronger, smarter. We can always advance and find new ways to help our fellow man. We can always do more. We can always be more. The simple act of trying to improve yourself makes you better than the you who doesn't try. The chase is the reward.

Find your poetry. Find your calling, your meaning. Volunteer at a homeless shelter. Read to an elderly person in the hospital or just spend an hour holding their hand and listening to them. Help paint someone's house. Volunteer to teach kids how to read. Yes, you do have time. If you see a scrap of garbage on the ground, pick it up - beautify your environment. If each one of us did one little thing to improve our immediate little area, the trickle-down effect would change the world.

I know now that I have poetry left to share and that not sharing it is a failure. Poetry is not only words on paper, it is emotion in action, it is the smile you offer a stranger, it is the hand up you offer to someone who has fallen. It is in your ear when you listen. It is in all of us.

Make it your best day yet by helping to make it someone else's day better. God bless you.

- Adolfo

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Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Day # 118 - Be Persistent

I took a spin class last night. Lots of fun. I recommend it. My high threshold for pain gives me a bit of an advantage - it makes me seem like I'm in better shape than I really am. That's not necessarily a good thing. I refuse to stop during the class regardless of how much I want to. I drink enough water to keep going, I don't indulge. I am persistent about it.

Anyone will tell you that persistence is key to success. The author, Stephen King, credited much of his success to persistence. What makes one athlete better than the other? Persistence. Don't believe me? Ask Michael Phelps. His routine was extremely consistent and his persistence in training led to his eight Olympic Gold Medals.

Years ago, when I quit the hospitality industry and became a financial advisor, I was given 90 days to earn my Series 7, Series 66, and insurance license. If I earned the licenses within that time frame, I would receive a bonus. Of course, I had, at the time, three kids and one on the way, so I couldn't just sit around my house studying.

What I did was I read the books out loud, recording every word in my own voice, and for the next 10 weeks, listened to nothing else. I took a job as a banquet waiter and worked long, hard hours, spending every free moment listening to those tapes or reading the books. I would go to the library between shifts (I often worked more than one in a day, with a few hours in between.) I even had a security guard at the library in Miami Beach confuse me for a homeless person because I fell asleep in the library. I explained to him that I was exhausted and studying, not drunk and loitering.

When the time came for the test, I caught food poisoning. I tried to reschedule but it was too late. I passed, though only by about six points. But you know what you call the guy who graduated last in his class from medical school? You call him Doctor!

I had no experience in finance at the time, I had worked in hotels all my career. But I decided I wanted something and persisted until I got it.

Decide today that you will be persistent in the pursuit of your goals. It is one of the most important characteristics of a successful person. I am reigniting mine.

- Adolfo

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Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Day # 117 - The Family That Reads Together

I decided that if I were to write an autobiography covering the first 39 years of my life, it would be called, "The Dangerous Middle." No, I'm not referring to my waistline. I'm referring to where I have spent a great deal of time.

Abby and I have gotten on the same page about our goals and we are setting and woring toward them together. It's a live-in buddy system and it will work great. We talk about our progress and our setbacks, we talk about ideas, goals and dreams. We (gently) critique one another, and we offer feedback.

Accountability is key. Not to say you can't do it alone, but sometimes the goals get too hairy and you have to call in backup. I have gone 117 days without news and almost 100 days without caffeine, my TV watching is down to about an hour a week (not including football, which doesn't count. Why doesn't it count? Because I said so - my house, my rules!) But these are only a few of my goals, a small step of the journey I must complete to become the person I'm meant to be. The road gets rough and it's nice to have someone in the passenger seat holding the roadmap. (Or the GPS - you get the picture.)

So we have set aside an hour every night to read self-help books, or listen to CD's currently "The Compound Effect," by Darren Hardy. We read the bible and discuss our ups and downs, with a greater emphasis on the ups. Moods are like people: if you ignore them, they go away. Continue ignoring them and make them feel unwanted, they'll stop coming around. It helps to have a wingman (or wingwoman) to give you the boost and the strength to make that happen.

So get a buddy - your spouse, roommate, friend, parent, co-worker, anyone you can trust - and get started.

Make it your best day yet (for you and your Buddy!) God bless you.

- Adolfo

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Monday, September 20, 2010

Day # 116 - Am I getting older?

Not to get too personal or graphic, but I got up to pee like four times last night. My back's been hurting for a couple of weeks, and although I still love football, I just don't get as worked up as I used to. Although I must say, HOW ABOUT THEM DOLPHINS!! Two and Oh Yeah, baby!!!!

So maybe I'm not old, maybe just tired today. Maybe the back thing is an injury and I should see the doc. Maybe the 40-plus ounces of water I had last night made me get up over and over.

It's all perspective, really. Half-full, half empty, older, more experienced. I feel better about my life now than I have in years, in spite of the setbacks of the last year. Those setbacks have helped me set my mind straight and now I'm making more of less, so I will make much more of more. I've said it in this space before: until you learn to take care of what God has given you, he will never give you more. I had to leave the happy middle to learn that lesson. I had to be challenged and pulled from my comfort zone to finally begin to stretch out and become aware of my potential. Never let anyone tell you that the middle is a safe place, the middle is the most dangerous place of all. Comfort and complacency are killers of potential. Avoid them at all costs.

Lesson: Never settle. Change what you don't like. If something hurts, go see a doctor.

- Adolfo

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Sunday, September 19, 2010

Day # 115 - Off To Church We Go

I am not particularly religious. I don't have many rituals. But I am spiritual and I am always in need of a boost because the road ahead is always challenging and full of temptation.

So, in spite of the exhaustion and the pain in my ankle that won't go away, I will be in church at 9:30 this morning. The music, the message, the feeling of being around other, positive people, will give me the boost I need. And this feeling will last me all week. The lessons will last me all my life.

I am not here to witness to you. I am not going to try to convert you. If that happens, great, but it was never the intention of this project to do so. I write this for posterity. I want my children to understand me. I want to make it possible for future generations who come from me but never meet me to know who I was and why I did some of the things I did.

But, like most of the reason for this project, I go to church for me. It's a wonderful way to release emotion, to gain perspective, to grow as a person, and a Christian.

Find yourself a spiritual home, whatever it may be - church, synagogue, whatever. The benefits outweigh the "sacrifice" of waking up early on a Sunday (or Saturday.) Besides, I'll be home in time for football.

Go Dolphins!

Make it your best day yet. God bless you.

- Adolfo

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Saturday, September 18, 2010

Day # 114 - Do I Feel Lucky?

I just read an article my friend Nicole posted on Facebook about how to get lucky. Essentially, the article explains how luck is a choice. I don't know why it took ten years of research to make this discovery, but I'm glad Richard Wiserman went to the trouble.

It proves what the Bible says, it proves the Power of Positive Thinking, it eliminates one of the excuses some people like to use.

I used to be superstitious. Years ago, I came to the realization that superstition is the absence of faith, it is letting go of control of your own life. I chose to live under my own influence and control. Black cats be damned. Direct me to the nearest ladder and watch me limbo under it. Friday the 13th still gets a T.G.I.F. from me.

I made the choice to be "lucky" a long time ago and I have noticed the difference in my life. I no longer blame God or luck for a tough break. I simply correct course and move forward.

Go and do likewise.

Here is the link to the article.

God bless you. Good luck (not that you need it.)

- Adolfo

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Friday, September 17, 2010

Day # 113 - White People Dancing

So I worked a big Food & Wine (swine?) event last night. I am exhausted and this is why I am writing so late. I'm about four hours behind schedule.

This event was a collection of restaurants from across the county showcasing their culinary achievements. People paid lots of money to be there, which made me wonder why there were so many vegetarians...

I mean, seriously, why on earth are you at a FOOD event if you don't eat? And don't even get me on the momos who were watching their carb intake!

Then there was the dancing. I think there is a time in a man's life, when you can no longer dance without becoming a caricature of your former self. I mean, the gyrations, the gold chains. The 70's are over. I'm sorry, they were killed by the 80's, who seem to be making a comeback. There is no justice.

If I sound cynical, it's because I am. I was surrounded by people who will tell you how much they care for the environment, but have no problem eating out of Styrofoam bowls and burning through half a dozen plastic forks - utensils that will linger on in a landfill millenia after the delicacies of the evening have been flushed away. It is important to note that I am not an environmentalist. I love nature and God's creations. I dislike waste and hate hypocrisy. Oh, how do I know they care for the environment? Call it a hunch.

I need a break.

If you must dance, know how. If you don't know how but really want to, take lessons. Arthur Murray lives on!

A lot on my mind today, sorry for the anger.

I learned that being around the wrong people will make you the wrong people. Remember that.

- Adolfo

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Thursday, September 16, 2010

Day # 112 - The Main Street Journal

I've always, inconsistently, kept a journal or a diary. I have books full of thoughts, poetry, ideas, rants & raves. I was never as disciplined about it as I should have been. I haven't been disciplined in general. I'm working on it. As I've mentioned several times, this blog is about discipline. I started a journal on September 3 and I am being good about it. I write down the day's victories, the day's lessons, and my thoughts. I may jot down notes in it at different times of the day. I write my goals, big or small, and dreams in it.

I do this for the same reason I write: It's a positive behavior. It's a small step toward where I want to be. It's a way of exercising discipline. And discipline is what I need.

While this blog is a sort of journal, I needed something private. I needed to raise the level of my self-talk, and my journal is how I do it. While I may vent here, nothing but the very positive is allowed in the journal. It's a road map, wish list, and blueprint for the future, and it is a trail of breadcrumbs to the positive lessons of yesterday.

Write it down. Whatever it is, you'll be glad you did.

God bless you. Make it your best day yet.

- Adolfo

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Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Day # 111 - Bridge Burning

Harvey Mackay says, "If you burn your bridges, you'd better be a damn good swimmer."

I think of all the bridges I've burned in my life. Of course, like most fires, the ones that burn bridges are often caused by carelessness. It's not always done on purpose. Sometimes I have burned bridges because they were structurally unsafe. Other times I burned them because I was acting on emotion rather than intellect.

Not long ago, when I was chair of the chamber of commerce, there were people, part of the old guard, who saw fit to attack me for any decision I made that they did not agree with. They went so far as to sabotage me. Some of these were well-known and (in some circles) well-respected members of the community. Would I have preferred to keep them on my side? Sure, but at what cost? I am not willing to bow to anyone but God.

I have regretted some of my bridge burnings. I have tried to repair some of them, and it has sometimes worked. Other times, the damage is too great and there's no way across the river. So I have lost friends or contacts.

The lesson is that sometimes we will make the mistake of burning a bridge. For the most part, if we are not malicious, if we are sincere in our effort to mend the bridge, we can find our way back. Other times, we may want to burn the bridge (with certain people tied to it.) I would suggest letting the relationship atrophy instead. You are losing a friend or acquaintance or contact but that doesn't mean you need to gain an enemy.

So cross that bridge when you get to it and leave it intact if you can. You never know when you need to get back across.

God bless you. Make it your best day yet.

- Adolfo

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Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Day # 110 - Hitting the Wall

Runners have an expression, "hitting the wall," which refers to that feeling of exhaustion that's so overwhelming it feels like you've literally run into a brick wall, which makes it pretty much impossible to continue running.

There are countless walls to hit. Writer's block is a wall. For years, I dreamt of being a writer. And then I hit a wall. The wall was personal, not creative, but I allowed that wall to keep me from writing for about five years. And I was on a tear when it happened. It's part of why I am writing this blog. I want to work my creative muscles and get the juices flowing. If I want to run a marathon, I know I need to train. If I want to use whatever skill I have as a writer or public speaker, I need to work those muscles, too. It's all a matter of training.

You will hit walls in your life. The question is how you will deal with the wall. Will you:

a) Stop and give up
b) Go around it
c) Go through it

If you stop, you fail. Think of yourself as a shark in this sense. What happens to a shark if it stops swimming? It dies. Now, don't confuse activity with productivity. You have to move, sure, but move in the right direction and move with purpose.

God bless you. Make it your best day.

- Adolfo

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Monday, September 13, 2010

Day # 109 - Alarm clock? Never!

I overslept this morning. Have I been away from my home planet too long? This tiredness is a little odd. I slept until 6:30 this morning. That's about 90+ minutes beyond my normal wake up time. Am I going to have to do what I have never done? Am I going to have to (gasp!) use an alarm? Heaven forbid. This is a matter of mind over matter. If I choose to wake up early, I will. If I do not make the conscious choice to wake up by a certain hour, I will sleep until...whenever.

And isn't that how it works? I slept until an hour when most of the world is starting to get up and I feel like I have wasted half the day. I rely on that extra 90 minutes every morning. It's my productivity time. It's my "Me" time. It's the time I use to stay sane, stay connected, stay myself.

So, I'm rushing because I have a meeting to get to. I have a long day of meetings, lectures, etc. I'm looking forward to it. No, really, I am. It should be interesting.

The lesson is: There is always time if you are willing to make time. What are you willing to sacrifice? T.V.? Hanging out? News? Sleep? If you will dump something you don't really need, you will be amazed at how much time you give up. I sacrifice sleep and it makes me more productive. And sacrifice is not really the word. There'll be time to sleep when I'm dead. (a hundred years from now!)

Make it your best, most productive day. God bless you.

Adolfo

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Sunday, September 12, 2010

Day # 108 - Going Through The Motions

I'm not sure what it is, but I've been procrastinating this morning. I've been at the computer since 6:00AM, it's now 6:38 and I'm finally getting my rear in gear. Sure, it's Sunday and most of the world is still asleep (or just getting home from Saturday night parties) but I am awake and feeling unproductive even though I have plenty to do.

So, I sit here and I type, in the hopes of finding inspiration by going through the motions. Will it work? Only if I put my heart and soul into it.

How many of us are going through the motions? Like postal workers or other government workers, who do not have an incentive to provide efficient, quality service, but ain't going nowhere because of the retirement package at the end of the career rainbow. Do you feel inspired in your life? Do you wake up in the morning and feel like the day ahead of you is full of endless possibilities, or do you expect another endless day? You will get what you expect. May as well expect the best.

Going through the motions because you have to is a sure way to fail and be miserable. Going through the motions to find your flow is a great thing. It works. I am sitting up a little straighter than I was a while ago. I am typing a little faster. I am more awake and alert. All because I chose not to skip writing this morning.

Get up and do what you have to do. Do it with pride and do the best you can. You'll be glad you did.

- Adolfo

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Saturday, September 11, 2010

Day # 107 - Change of Venue

Lead us not into temptation... We've all heard it before. I went into the office yesterday and just wasn't feeling it. So... I went home to work. I didn't come home and put on my Superman jammies and bunny slippers, I kept my work ensemble on. I fired up the laptop and went to work.

I was more productive yesterday than any other day in this incredibly long short week. I wasn't getting up to go to the fridge every five minutes. No one walked into my office to chat. No questions that should answer themselves. No B.S., no nonsense. Just work.

I made two sales, set two appointments and sent out three contracts yesterday. I also revised an agreement for what is becoming a very big and important client. In my business, that's a busy day. Better than busy, it was productive. The kind of productivity that translates directly to the bottom line.

I know not everyone has the option of taking work home, or to a coffee shop, but you can always come to the office a little early to avoid the crowd. When people ask if you have a minute, say NO! Or tell them yes, you have exactly one minute. For years I have wasted so much time because I never understood the power of No. Learn it, you'll be better at your job, and you will find the work-life balance we all need.

I would also recommend putting yourself in a position where you are not lead into temptation. Don't keep a lot of junk food in your house or in your desk, so that the Oreos don't call your name when you have work to do. It's human nature to be lazy and if your lazy brain has to convince you you're hungry to get you to stop working, it will. Avoid the pitfalls.

I am not advocating workaholism. I am advocating productivity. If you want to move up in your career, grow your business, or just prosper and be successful at everything you do, learn to be more productive. I learned this lesson late, but I plan to make up for it.

So, turn your desk away from the window, stay away from the water cooler and coffee station and get your work done! The right people will notice.

God bless you. Make it your best and most productive day yet.

- Adolfo

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Friday, September 10, 2010

Day # 106 - Obstacles and Outlook

Yesterday could have been one of those days. There were some ups but a lot of challenges. I exercised the timeless advice offered by Monty Python and I looked on the bright side of life. I worked on controlling what I could, and made the best of it. I accepted what I couldn't change, and celebrated the small victories. I spoke from my heart and in spite of what I faced, I kept smiling.

Now, what my challenges were are irrelevant, as are my victories. We each face our own, and we must each find our own solutions. The difference-maker for me was my outlook. I didn't tell God how big my problems are, I told my problems how big my God is. It really is that simple.

Choose not to let the little things ruin your day. Stay positive and resolve to work through whatever the challenge is. It's amazing how much easier it is to solve a problem when you keep smiling and avoid complaining, crying, whining, bitching, pissing and moaning. Smile. Work. Be happy!

Make it a great day and keep a positive outlook. Remember, obstacles are what you see when you take your eyes off the goal.

God bless you.

- Adolfo

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Thursday, September 9, 2010

Day # 105 - You'll meet yourself there

It's funny how God will give you exactly what you expect. He won't always give you what you want, because what you want and what you expect are not always the same thing.

Think about it: If someone says, "I want to be a millionaire, but I know I'm going to lose my job, go broke, and end up on food stamps." Which is more likely to happen?

If someone says, "I want to be a millionaire, and I know doors are opening up to make that happen," they're more likely to achieve their seven-figure dream.

Why? Because you will meet yourself at your expectations. If you expect good things to happen, they will. If you expect disaster, make sure your insurance is paid up. Donald Trump said, "If you're going to be thinking anyway, you may as well Think BIG." And he knows all about the power of thinking big. How else could someone with that hair be that successful?

Change your thinking today. Cancel the bad, negative, self-defeating thoughts. Don't just wish for good things, expect them. And remember, this is like exercise; you won't lose 20 pounds in ten days of going to the Y, so don't be disappointed if it takes a while before the rewards show up. Persevere and continue to expect the best. Know that you must work hard and keep your chin up. Quit the gossip and negative self-talk, and the rewards will be yours and they will be plenty.

Lessons:

- You will meet yourself at your expectations. The greater your expectations, the greater your accomplishments will be. Don't be afraid to think big. It works for the Donald and it can work for you.

- Eliminate the negative: negative talk, negative thoughts, negative expectations. Get rid of them because they are a cancer on your future and an obstacle between you and your better self.

Declarations:

- Day by day in every way, I am getting better and better.

- I expect great things and my life and I will get them.

Keep the faith. God bless you. Make it your best day yet.

-Adolfo

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Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Day # 104 - The Wisdom of Obi-Wan

I caught a few minutes of Return of the Jedi a couple of days ago. Yes, I watched a little TV but none of it was news. I was having a lazy day - I wrote about it yesterday.

The Obi-Wan hologram was warning Luke Skywalker to be mindful of his thoughts. This is good advice. Just as a running back will tell you that where your head goes, your body will follow; where your mind goes your life will follow.

What are your initial thoughts when you wake up each morning. Are they positive? How's your self-talk? Do you say, "Oh no, another day at my crappy job," or do you simply imagine yourself slapping the snot out of your boss or a co-worker?

What do you tell yourself? Do you even remember what you told yourself this morning before you got out of bed? Does your mind wander to negative, destructive places? I know mine tends to. I also know that a lot of that has to do with what I read (or watch) before going to bed. Last night I read the bible. Psalms 55 (Cast your cares upon the Lord and He will sustain you.)

When I woke up this morning, and the usual negative, nonsensical thoughts started running through my head, I would simply say, "stop," and "reset" and set my mind on more positive, productive paths. I plan to continue this throughout the day. Mood is a choice. It starts with the thoughts you choose to allow to swirl around in your head and continues with what you choose to do about them.

Lessons:

- Be mindful of your thoughts. While it's okay to let your mind wander, watch where it goes.
- Garbage in - garbage out. What you read and watch is going to affect your thinking. Make better choices.
- Engage in positive self-talk. When you're mind goes negative, order it to stop and correct your course.

Declarations:

- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better.
- I am in control of my thoughts. I am the master of my fate.
- I am a positive person.

God bless you. Make it your best day yet!

- Adolfo

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Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Day # 103 - Laziness

I didn't get much done yesterday. I mean, I got some work done. (I carry a laptop so my office is with me where ever I go.) But I still feel like it was a much less than productive day. Yes, I know, it was a holiday - a day traditionally spent lazing around a pool or barbecuing at the beach. But it was a Monday. Sometimes I feel like the time I have to accomplish the things I want to accomplish is so limited that wasting a day is like the eighth deadly sin.

I often refer to it as Blue-Collar Guilt. I come from an immigrant family. My parents never had office jobs, never worked in air conditioning. I tell people banking was my family business - because when I was a kid, my parents used to clean banks at night. I tagged along because there was no money for baby sitters. I didn't mind though. I used to load up on sugar from the tellers' candy dishes.

I know I owe it to my parents to do my best. I also owe it to my kids to do my best. Most of all, I owe it to myself. So, we'll call yesterday an aberration. I'm sure it will happen again - or maybe I just need to stop being so uptight about days off.

Whatever. Tuesday is the new Monday (this week) so get out there and make it the best day yet.

God bless you.

- Adolfo

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Monday, September 6, 2010

Day # 102 - Books

A City in South Florida recently built a library. Beautiful structure. Only one thing. No one remembered to order books. Part of me thinks it's okay. Most people go to the library to go on the Internet anyway. When I was preparing to take my Series 7 exam, I would ride my bike to the library, carrying all my study materials in my backpack (green JanSport backpack - lasted me ten years and someone who shall remain nameless borrowed it, never to be seen again - I miss that bag!) I chose to go to the library because there were to many pitfalls at home (TV, refrigerator, bed, etc.) Last week, I wrote about how being in a room full of strangers motivated me to keep going during spin class. Being in public while studying kept me from slacking. No one needed to know what I was doing, but I would never allow anyone to see me slacking.

Sometimes, when I need to get away, I'll get out of my office for a while and wander through a bookstore. Sometimes I'll buy something, but often, it's just a comfort to be surrounded by so much wisdom and discipline. (I've written five novels and six screenplays - it takes massive amounts of discipline even to write a lousy book! And don't even get me started on editing!)

I have two nightstands next to my bed. There are about thirty books on them, plus another dozen inside the drawers. I also have pens, high-lighters, and notebooks. There is a bookshelf in my room that holds about two hundred books, and close to 1,000 magazines. Did I mention the stack of magazines on the floor? (I've got to do something with those, I know.) I have two bookshelves in the living room holding at least a thousand more books. And then there are a couple of dozen on my desk and a few hundred in the cabinets in the garage. My kids have at least 500 books in their room, plus more at their grandparents' house. A couple of months ago, I gave a few boxes of books (mostly novels & literature) to Goodwill.

Why? Because I find comfort in this. I like having Ernest Hemingway, William Shakespeare, and Emily Dickinson in my house. I even like having Stephen King around if you can believe that! Since I never went to college, I have had to teach myself anything I wanted to know. Tom Hopkins taught me to sell (or how not to in some cases), Herb Cohen taught me to negotiate, Napoleon Hill taught me how to Think and Grow Rich, Joel Osteen taught me how to stretch my faith, and Tom Clancy taught me how to build a submarine. You never know when the need will arise.

I can't live without books. I wouldn't want to. When was the last time you read a book? Was it good? What did you get from it? Let me know. I'm always looking for my next bedtime story.

God bless you. Make today your best day yet.

- Adolfo

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Sunday, September 5, 2010

Day # 101 - Masterpiece

Coach John Wooden, who lead the UCLA Men's Basketball program to ten championships and became a mentor to millions through his books and his teachings, used to tell his players, "Make each day your masterpiece." He explained that you must give 100% every day. You cannot give 50% today and 150% tomorrow. One hundred percent is all you can ever give.

Are you giving 100% every day? At work? To your kids? To your health? I know I am guilty of living a half-life. It's what motivates me to be up at this time in the morning on a Sunday writing instead of watching TV or sleeping (not that I'm much of a sleeper.) Wanting to give and get 100% every day is why I have cut out TV and why I read more and more books and have more and more conversations with friends old and new. I want to make each day my masterpiece.

When you start your day off late, yelling at your kids to hurry up, pissed off at the traffic in front of you, rushing to work, gossiping with co-workers about co-workers, doing a half-hearted job, and hated every minute of it, you are not living a masterpiece. You are living a piece of garbage.

When your day ends with three hours of mindless TV sitcoms which are more sarcastic than funny, which are negative, raunchy, recycled, unimaginative crap, your are a million miles from your masterpiece. I don't mean to be critical. I've been there, done that. If it's what you want your life to be - enjoy. But if this is how you live and you wonder why you're stuck in a job you hate, or why your relationships are stale, wonder no more. Begin creating your personal daily masterpiece. Begin making the subtle changes that will snowball into a new you.

101 days of this have given me time to reflect. I know that although I have made improvements, I have lost direction a couple of times. I need to continually refocus and make course corrections. Otherwise, it's like being in college and taking random classes with no focus or major. Sure, you learn stuff, but do you really get any better?

So, remember what Coach Wooden taught us: Make each day your masterpiece.

Make today your first masterpiece. God bless you.

- Adolfo

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Saturday, September 4, 2010

Day # 100 - The First 100 Days of the Jimenez Administration

What can I say about my first 100 days? They were better than Barack Obama's first 100 days. I made no promises I didn't intend to keep. I find myself spreading the gospel of positivity and personal development.

I had a long conversation with a friend yesterday and I found myself counting how many times she said, "I can't." My children get punished if they say those words. Ten jumping jacks. And if this happens in a public place, they will do the jumping jacks right then and there. Those words are rarely heard in the Jimenez home.

I find myself changing and then falling back to my old ways. I often feel like I might lose my temper. I sometimes do (doesn't everyone?) but not like I used to. I find my negative self-talk finds its way into my noggin. I shut it off but it sometimes takes longer than it should. This is a result of comfort. That human desire to take it easy whenever possible - even subconsciously. I am recommitting to my goal today.

Lesson: The process of personal development never ends.

The negotiation I wrote about a couple of weeks ago continues. I am unable to give too many details at this point, but it's funny how everyone is gung-ho until it's time to write the check. Process versus Payment?

Lesson: When you get into a negotiation, know what you're getting into. If only out of respect for other people's time, you need to know your limits as well as your goals, so that once things are bigger than you're comfortable with, you can pull the plug and let the other parties explore other options.

So the quest continues. I am better than I was but nowhere near as good as I set out to be. 265 days to go.

- Adolfo

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Friday, September 3, 2010

Day # 99 - Bottles of beer on the wall

I worked late last night. Got home around 11:00. What was I doing? Hanging around at a bar (a very nice one)with a bunch of Dallas Cowboy fans. It could be worse. It could be Jets fans, in which case I would be writing a "Goodbye, Cruel World" letter. I started off courting these folks, wanting them to patronize my bar. You see, there are fan clubs all over the country and they organize game-watching parties. They fill up your bar with rowdy fans and generally eat, drink and are merry. And noisy. And loud. And obnoxious when they are spanking your team. But there is an obvious business benefit to their patronage.

Growing up, I never liked the Dallas Cowboys. After getting to know these fans over the last few weeks, I am neutral toward the team. I like the fans.

What I witnessed was a group of people gathered to enjoy a sporting event - and one another's company. I saw people who watch football - and ask about one another's family. If anyone there had a sick relative, everyone else knew about it, and that loved one would have been included in their prayers. Oh, and they drink beer, too!

I have met thousands of people over the years and there are many I call friends. There are few I get together with just because someone's broadcasting a football game. Check that, there are none. I have been a member and a leader of organizations dedicated to business, to community, to children, but never one dedicated to just having a good time. If you've never been a part of one, I recommend it.

We all need friends and we all need entertainment. This is a way to get both. I will not advocate for any specific organization on this blog because that's not what this is about, but I will repeat that we all need friends and human beings are social animals so get out there and be social!

Thanks again to my new friends from the (hurts like hell to say it) Cowboy Nation, and thanks to your for reading.

God bless you. Make it your best day yet.

- Adolfo

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Thursday, September 2, 2010

Day # 98 - Happy Birthday Steven

My son Steven is 20 years old today. He is now older than I was on the day he was born. I think of him all the time, as I do with all my kids. But he was the first. There is something special that comes with that and sometimes I think he may have been robbed of that. It's not that he was undeserving, it's that I was too young.

Kids are in such a hurry to grow up. (I know I just made the quantum leap into my golden years by writing those words down, but it's true.) I was in a hurry to grow up and as a result, I was forced into it long before I was ready for it. The result is that my son didn't have as much a father as a big brother.

Do I feel a little guilty? Yes. But I don't live in the past. I see my boy now, making strides, getting his life in order and moving forward and it reminds me of myself. I was so busy growing up that I never bothered to mature. It's taken my 39 years to reach adolescence. It's great to be here, by the way.

If you have kids, remind them to be kids. Help them understand that their life will never be as perfect as it is during their youth. Growing up sucks. I recommend avoiding it for as long as possible. Live at home until you're 70 and throw your parents out of the house.

Seriously, one of the most important jobs we have as parents is to make sure our kids live one day at a time, while always keeping an eye toward the future. Education, good money habits, staying healthy, and worldliness are all important, but giving up your youth to be a mediocre parent is a great way to ruin three lives.

So, happy birthday, Steven. I love you and wish I could have been the father you deserved. I'll try to be from now on.

- Adolfo

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Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Day # 97 - Choose love

It's as simple as making the right choice. I hear all the time from people how hard marriage is. I have to disagree. If both parties want the same thing it should be easy. Choose to love one another, commit to that person. Promise yourself that you will love your spouse no matter what. Let go of the need to have the last word, to always be right about every little thing. Don't argue over trivial things. Accept that sometimes your other half will be in a bad mood and some of that venom will be unintentionally launched in your direction. If it gets out of hand, remind your partner that you (or your kids or the dog) are not responsible for their mood, but do it gently.

There you have it. The formula to happiness. Okay, it's not that simple. I am not a marriage counselor and don't want to be. But I can tell you with supreme confidence that love is the most important part of the equation.

*Love your spouse - even when they don't seem to deserve it.
*Love your children - this is not the same as spoiling them. Loving them sometimes means time-out or a spanking.
*Love your enemies - that person at your job, you know the one. Choose to love that person. I don't mean hugs and kisses, but in your heart, just love them.
*Love your boss - it seems impossible, but it's really not. Your boss is human just like you. Look at the bright side: at least you have a job!
*Love every one.

This is not a hippie, peace-and-love thing. This is a spiritual, Godly thing. If you want to make the world better, start inside yourself and choose love.

God bless you. I love you. Make it your best day yet.

- Adolfo

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