It's been over a month since I began this project. In that time, I have kicked one habit (news) and one addiction (caffeine.) I am more positive and as a result I find more doors opening. I am finding more opportunities. Happiness is following me around.
That's what concerns me. Maybe it's the old, dying, pessimistic side of my personality hanging on for dear life. Maybe it's my ADD, or my hyperactive imagination. Maybe I'm doubting myself because a lifetime of negative conditioning, by myself and by others, isn't easy to overcome. Whatever it is, I can't ignore it. This must be dealt with.
It's when we are doing well that the enemy strikes hardest. In the time since I started this project, I have been hit with a lot. None of it life-threatening, but very serious nonetheless. Things that could shake the foundations of your faith and make you wonder whether all this is worth it. I think it is worth it. Problems will always happen. Your mindset and attitude will not exempt you from life's inconveniences, but they will influence how you react to them.
I knew this project would be a huge commitment, but I promised myself I would see it through. All my life I have been too casual about making and keeping promises and this cannot be. If a man is only as good as his word then I've had more than my share of good and bad. Now it's time to be nothing but good.
It's time to take the "365 No News Project" to the next level. This project almost immediately stopped being about news and became about something bigger.
I am promising you, dear reader, that not only will I stay away from caffeine and negative influences, I plan to get in shape - physically, that is. I've lost five pounds in the last month just from giving up caffeine, soda, and fast food. The next step is exercise. I weighed myself Saturday and I was at 231 pounds. I promise I will be below 200 by the end of my 365 days.
What kind of example am I to my kids, how can I presume to give advice on how to live a better, more disciplined life if I can't control my body weight? What kind of hypocrite does that make me?
Lessons:
- Don't get cocky. It's when you are at your best that the enemy will try to bring you down.
- Self improvement does not happen solely in your mind and attitude. Your body should be in the best condition. Just as we don't want to invite negative, destructive elements into our mind, we don't want to invite them into our bodies.
- Self discipline is a lifestyle choice. It cannot be selectively applied.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better
- Starting today, I will be disciplined in my mind and in my body.
- Today and every day, I will make small positive changes in my life. These small changes will snowball into a new me.
The woods are lovely dark and deep
But I have promises to keep
And miles to go before I sleep
And miles to go before I sleep
- Robert Frost
I am a long way from finished. I don't expect to ever be complete. Forever shall I evolve for the complete man is finished.
Make it your best day ever. God bless you.
-Adolfo
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Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Day # 33 - Eliminating things (people) that take your peace
Rome wasn't built in a day - it wasn't burnt in a day either. Every day on this journey is a struggle in one form or another. I make progress, but sometimes I fall. Sometimes I let external factors steal my peace and my joy. The solution is simple: I get back up and keep pushing toward the goal.
I want to talk about peace and business. The two may seem pretty incompatible, but they are very connected. I am involved in several projects and to some tiny extent I am trying to build - or rebuild - something. It's a challenge under perfect circumstances. Impossible when the people with whom you are working, people who should share your goals, seem to sabotage you at every turn. It means you now have two mountains to move. It's enough to make you crazy.
I am experiencing this. The truth is, I always have. I have often found myself in situations where someone has their own agenda and is willing to destroy everything the rest of the team is working for in order to advance it. I have dealt with it in different ways, and I have found the most effective way to deal with it is to remove them from the situation. Always begin with a conversation - a warning if you will. If this doesn't work, bring out the scalpel. Most projects or businesses are stressful enough without keeping the problem children around.
When I was still chair of the chamber, I had two problem children on the board. I removed them both in different ways. One of them was so passive-aggressive and destructive that I called him in for "Come To Jesus" early one morning. He came in twenty minutes late and told me he had done so on purpose. At this point, I knew there was no saving the relationship, but I tried anyway. It ended with me standing over him, calling him every name in the book, and asking him outside.To this day, no one has heard me so much as whisper his name. It was unpleasant, but we got him off the board and we moved on.
The second problem child was handled differently - I isolated her to keep her from destroying morale. She was hyper-negative but hadn't really given me grounds to dismiss her. She did less and less, showed up less and less, and eventually her term ended and I made the decision not to give her another - although she had asked for one.
The goal each time was peace. You eliminate the cancer. You turn down the noise. You take out the trash. If you can't get rid of it, tune it out. Go on about your business and ask God to grant you the peace necessary to be an effective happy person. It can go any way you want it to: you can let them decide what your day will be like or you can chart your own course. It's a no brainer. But you will never chart your own course if you let these human icebergs sink your ship. Sometimes you're going to have to go around them, sometimes you'll run into them full speed, and sometimes you'll have to wait for sunshine and time to melt them out of your way.
Whatever course of action makes sense, do not let the iceberg win. If you do, you will never have peace. And then your ship is really sunk. I know we should try to love our fellow man, but sometimes they are not ready to be loved. Those are times when you have to look out for number one, and trust that this person will find their own iceberg. We are all deserving of love, but we have to be ready to accept it or it will slide off of us unnoticed.
Lessons:
- Peace is integral to success and happiness. It is also a choice.
- Problem people are a drag. Make an honest effort to change the situation. If it doesn't work, move on. Their time will come.
- Be honest. Make sure you're not the problem.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better
- I will find inner peace by eliminating outer distractions
- I will help people find the peace I desire for myself
Finding peace is like saving money: simple but not easy. Focus on your goal. Focus on creating peace for yourself and for those around you. When your thoughts turn angry, stop your mind by saying, "cancel" or "stop." It seems silly but it works. Soon, the negative, peace-stealing thoughts will be gone for good. Simple. Not easy.
Make it your best day yet. God bless you.
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I want to talk about peace and business. The two may seem pretty incompatible, but they are very connected. I am involved in several projects and to some tiny extent I am trying to build - or rebuild - something. It's a challenge under perfect circumstances. Impossible when the people with whom you are working, people who should share your goals, seem to sabotage you at every turn. It means you now have two mountains to move. It's enough to make you crazy.
I am experiencing this. The truth is, I always have. I have often found myself in situations where someone has their own agenda and is willing to destroy everything the rest of the team is working for in order to advance it. I have dealt with it in different ways, and I have found the most effective way to deal with it is to remove them from the situation. Always begin with a conversation - a warning if you will. If this doesn't work, bring out the scalpel. Most projects or businesses are stressful enough without keeping the problem children around.
When I was still chair of the chamber, I had two problem children on the board. I removed them both in different ways. One of them was so passive-aggressive and destructive that I called him in for "Come To Jesus" early one morning. He came in twenty minutes late and told me he had done so on purpose. At this point, I knew there was no saving the relationship, but I tried anyway. It ended with me standing over him, calling him every name in the book, and asking him outside.To this day, no one has heard me so much as whisper his name. It was unpleasant, but we got him off the board and we moved on.
The second problem child was handled differently - I isolated her to keep her from destroying morale. She was hyper-negative but hadn't really given me grounds to dismiss her. She did less and less, showed up less and less, and eventually her term ended and I made the decision not to give her another - although she had asked for one.
The goal each time was peace. You eliminate the cancer. You turn down the noise. You take out the trash. If you can't get rid of it, tune it out. Go on about your business and ask God to grant you the peace necessary to be an effective happy person. It can go any way you want it to: you can let them decide what your day will be like or you can chart your own course. It's a no brainer. But you will never chart your own course if you let these human icebergs sink your ship. Sometimes you're going to have to go around them, sometimes you'll run into them full speed, and sometimes you'll have to wait for sunshine and time to melt them out of your way.
Whatever course of action makes sense, do not let the iceberg win. If you do, you will never have peace. And then your ship is really sunk. I know we should try to love our fellow man, but sometimes they are not ready to be loved. Those are times when you have to look out for number one, and trust that this person will find their own iceberg. We are all deserving of love, but we have to be ready to accept it or it will slide off of us unnoticed.
Lessons:
- Peace is integral to success and happiness. It is also a choice.
- Problem people are a drag. Make an honest effort to change the situation. If it doesn't work, move on. Their time will come.
- Be honest. Make sure you're not the problem.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better
- I will find inner peace by eliminating outer distractions
- I will help people find the peace I desire for myself
Finding peace is like saving money: simple but not easy. Focus on your goal. Focus on creating peace for yourself and for those around you. When your thoughts turn angry, stop your mind by saying, "cancel" or "stop." It seems silly but it works. Soon, the negative, peace-stealing thoughts will be gone for good. Simple. Not easy.
Make it your best day yet. God bless you.
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Monday, June 28, 2010
Day # 32 - Blah blah blah flies with honey.
You know the old expression, "You catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar." It's never made sense to me. Why would you want to catch flies? Why waste honey? Why not swat flies instead?
I sat in a three hour meeting yesterday afternoon related to a business I am involved in. It was essentially supposed to be an intervention. A key member of the team is not pulling his weight and as a result, production is literally at a standstill. Time is money and I have an abundance of neither.
So, we sat down and the problem child joined us. The project leadertore into him. I saw a side of this person I've never seen before. I was initially a little put off by it, but after some reflection, I realize it probably had to be done.
While I think of my leadership style as collaborative and I lead by standing next to my team, not in front of or behind them, I know there are times when you need to shock the system. Sometimes, you just gotta get aggressive. This is contrary to my style, so whenever I've done it, I've been left feeling exhausted. Confrontation takes a lot out of you whether you know it or not.
I was reading "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff" and there's a chapter on how you can be calm and peaceful and still be an achiever. I, too, had bought into the idea that you have to be hyper-active, bossy, loud, pushy, and obnoxious to succeed. Because by nature I am none of those things, I always thought my chances for success were limited. I was wrong.
Success is not measured by how busy you are or how much time you sit at your desk or how loud you yell at your assistant (I'm looking for one, by the way.) Success is measured by how well you do your job and how well you feel about yourself. You could even say how others feel about you is a measure of success, but it's more a measure of popularity. Being liked is not the same as being effective.
While there is a time for bluntness, any time is a time for understanding. Now, just because you don't need to be blunt all the time, doesn't mean you should ever be anything other than direct. You don't owe anyone anything but the truth.
Yesterday's meeting became Good Cop / Bad Cop, with me as the good cop. It wasn't planned, it was my unwillingness to waste time on a Sunday when I wanted to be home with my family. I am not criticizing anyone. The bottom line is the bottom line and we accomplished our goal, so it's all good.
Lessons:
- Forget flies and honey. Be compassionate and patient. You will get more out of people.
- Don't be emotional. This is business, not personal. When it's personal, save the emotions for the end.
- QTIP - Quit Taking It Personally. My partner was taking the actions of the other partner personally. This only clouds your judgement.
- Direct, not blunt or rude.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better
- Today, I will stop taking things personally. I will be like a duck and let things slide off my back
- Today, I will be compassionate and patient. I will empathize, not sympathize.
- From now on, I will find my inner peace, knowing it will not hinder me, but improve my chances for success.
You will be faced with confrontational people all the time. You will meet people who are running around like headless chickens and don't have time to be polite because they have a job to do. You know the type: just looking at them makes you tired. Imagine how much energy they are wasting by drowning in a glass of water. Don't be like them.
Make it your best day ever. God bless you.
- Adolfo
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I sat in a three hour meeting yesterday afternoon related to a business I am involved in. It was essentially supposed to be an intervention. A key member of the team is not pulling his weight and as a result, production is literally at a standstill. Time is money and I have an abundance of neither.
So, we sat down and the problem child joined us. The project leadertore into him. I saw a side of this person I've never seen before. I was initially a little put off by it, but after some reflection, I realize it probably had to be done.
While I think of my leadership style as collaborative and I lead by standing next to my team, not in front of or behind them, I know there are times when you need to shock the system. Sometimes, you just gotta get aggressive. This is contrary to my style, so whenever I've done it, I've been left feeling exhausted. Confrontation takes a lot out of you whether you know it or not.
I was reading "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff" and there's a chapter on how you can be calm and peaceful and still be an achiever. I, too, had bought into the idea that you have to be hyper-active, bossy, loud, pushy, and obnoxious to succeed. Because by nature I am none of those things, I always thought my chances for success were limited. I was wrong.
Success is not measured by how busy you are or how much time you sit at your desk or how loud you yell at your assistant (I'm looking for one, by the way.) Success is measured by how well you do your job and how well you feel about yourself. You could even say how others feel about you is a measure of success, but it's more a measure of popularity. Being liked is not the same as being effective.
While there is a time for bluntness, any time is a time for understanding. Now, just because you don't need to be blunt all the time, doesn't mean you should ever be anything other than direct. You don't owe anyone anything but the truth.
Yesterday's meeting became Good Cop / Bad Cop, with me as the good cop. It wasn't planned, it was my unwillingness to waste time on a Sunday when I wanted to be home with my family. I am not criticizing anyone. The bottom line is the bottom line and we accomplished our goal, so it's all good.
Lessons:
- Forget flies and honey. Be compassionate and patient. You will get more out of people.
- Don't be emotional. This is business, not personal. When it's personal, save the emotions for the end.
- QTIP - Quit Taking It Personally. My partner was taking the actions of the other partner personally. This only clouds your judgement.
- Direct, not blunt or rude.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better
- Today, I will stop taking things personally. I will be like a duck and let things slide off my back
- Today, I will be compassionate and patient. I will empathize, not sympathize.
- From now on, I will find my inner peace, knowing it will not hinder me, but improve my chances for success.
You will be faced with confrontational people all the time. You will meet people who are running around like headless chickens and don't have time to be polite because they have a job to do. You know the type: just looking at them makes you tired. Imagine how much energy they are wasting by drowning in a glass of water. Don't be like them.
Make it your best day ever. God bless you.
- Adolfo
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Sunday, June 27, 2010
Day # 31 - Confidence
"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Endeavour to live the life which you have imagined." - Henry David Thoreau
"Confidence... is very sexy." - Jack Palance
Note: This was inspired by a series of phone calls I received yesterday. Issues that could easily have been solved by a more confident person. Instead, I had to be called in to make decisions.
What is it about confident people? You can't help being attracted to them. Confidence separates the winners from the losers. Confidence is what a baseball player needs to hit a ball coming at him at 100 miles per hour. It's what a quarterback needs to launch a football to a spot 60 yards away when his receiver isn't there yet. Confidence is how you get a date. Confidence is how you ask for the sale. Confidence is integral to success.
What's the worst answerto any question? "Whatever you want is fine with me," comes to mind. Please understand, I am a confident person, but I usually end up answering my wife that way because I am smart enough to choose my battles.
You wouldn't follow a leader without confidence. Imagine a president who didn't have the courage of his convictions. Never mind, mission accomplished. How about a general leading an army? George Patton was perhaps the greatest general of all time because of his confidence. If he ever felt fear or timidity, he saved it for his private moments. The troops saw a confident man, who knew what had to be done and never second guessed himself.
Ronald Reagan stared down the Soviet Union. Had he flinched, things might have turned out differently. JFK had a similar experience with the Soviets during the Cuban Missile Crisis. These were confident men and their confidence mattered in a way that affected the lives of everyone on the planet.
Think about Yogi Berra, the great Yankee catcher. He was small, uncoordinated, and at first sight looked more like he sould be selling peanuts at Yankee Stadium than playing there. Yet he played in more World Series games and got more rings than any other player. Maybe everyone was right about Yogi. Maybe he wasn't capable of doing those things. It's a good thing Yogi didn't know that.
My point is: be confident. Know you are capable of anything if you put your mind to it. Take a leap of faith. Faith inspires confidence. When you know your life is in the hands of a greater power, a power that always has your best interest in mind, a power that never makes mistakes, you can be confident.
How did Mother Teresa do the things she did? How are miracles performed? How did the Wright Brothers fly? How are bridges built? Think about the first skydiver. The first guy to eat an oyster. The first guy to look at a wooly mammoth and think, "I bet those things taste great!" Where would we be without confidence? Where would we be without Harriet Tubman? Abraham Lincoln? If Donald Trump weren't confident, how could he get away with that ridiculous hairstyle. (Even I'm not that confident.)
Lessons:
- Preparation equals confidence. Do your homework, never fly blind if you can help it
- If there is something you don't like about yourself, change it. If you can't change it, accept it
- Look people in the eye. Nothing betrays your lack of confidence like the inability to hold the gaze of another person
- Know -don't think, know!- that no one is better than you. No one is better than you! (Repeat it as necessary.)
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better
- I am a confident person. My confidence gives me favor in the eyes of people I meet and serves as a shield to protect me
- No one is better than me
- People can only see my qualities, not my flaws
- Today, I will make the effort to improve myself in some small way
Confidence is a choice. You can be confident or you can settle for second best. It really is that simple. Make the choice to be more confident. Commit to it, and it will be so. It's like anything else. You can have it if you want it bad enough.
Make it your best day yet. God bless you.
-Adolfo
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"Confidence... is very sexy." - Jack Palance
Note: This was inspired by a series of phone calls I received yesterday. Issues that could easily have been solved by a more confident person. Instead, I had to be called in to make decisions.
What is it about confident people? You can't help being attracted to them. Confidence separates the winners from the losers. Confidence is what a baseball player needs to hit a ball coming at him at 100 miles per hour. It's what a quarterback needs to launch a football to a spot 60 yards away when his receiver isn't there yet. Confidence is how you get a date. Confidence is how you ask for the sale. Confidence is integral to success.
What's the worst answerto any question? "Whatever you want is fine with me," comes to mind. Please understand, I am a confident person, but I usually end up answering my wife that way because I am smart enough to choose my battles.
You wouldn't follow a leader without confidence. Imagine a president who didn't have the courage of his convictions. Never mind, mission accomplished. How about a general leading an army? George Patton was perhaps the greatest general of all time because of his confidence. If he ever felt fear or timidity, he saved it for his private moments. The troops saw a confident man, who knew what had to be done and never second guessed himself.
Ronald Reagan stared down the Soviet Union. Had he flinched, things might have turned out differently. JFK had a similar experience with the Soviets during the Cuban Missile Crisis. These were confident men and their confidence mattered in a way that affected the lives of everyone on the planet.
Think about Yogi Berra, the great Yankee catcher. He was small, uncoordinated, and at first sight looked more like he sould be selling peanuts at Yankee Stadium than playing there. Yet he played in more World Series games and got more rings than any other player. Maybe everyone was right about Yogi. Maybe he wasn't capable of doing those things. It's a good thing Yogi didn't know that.
My point is: be confident. Know you are capable of anything if you put your mind to it. Take a leap of faith. Faith inspires confidence. When you know your life is in the hands of a greater power, a power that always has your best interest in mind, a power that never makes mistakes, you can be confident.
How did Mother Teresa do the things she did? How are miracles performed? How did the Wright Brothers fly? How are bridges built? Think about the first skydiver. The first guy to eat an oyster. The first guy to look at a wooly mammoth and think, "I bet those things taste great!" Where would we be without confidence? Where would we be without Harriet Tubman? Abraham Lincoln? If Donald Trump weren't confident, how could he get away with that ridiculous hairstyle. (Even I'm not that confident.)
Lessons:
- Preparation equals confidence. Do your homework, never fly blind if you can help it
- If there is something you don't like about yourself, change it. If you can't change it, accept it
- Look people in the eye. Nothing betrays your lack of confidence like the inability to hold the gaze of another person
- Know -don't think, know!- that no one is better than you. No one is better than you! (Repeat it as necessary.)
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better
- I am a confident person. My confidence gives me favor in the eyes of people I meet and serves as a shield to protect me
- No one is better than me
- People can only see my qualities, not my flaws
- Today, I will make the effort to improve myself in some small way
Confidence is a choice. You can be confident or you can settle for second best. It really is that simple. Make the choice to be more confident. Commit to it, and it will be so. It's like anything else. You can have it if you want it bad enough.
Make it your best day yet. God bless you.
-Adolfo
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Saturday, June 26, 2010
Day # 30 - Where you stand determines where you'll land
Another great day. Except, I allowed myself to get caught up in gossip. It's not so much that I initiated or even participated in it, but I didn't distance myself from it. A willing accomplice and I am not proud of it. When you become a part of something like gossip, you are always hurting yourself and your universe. Again, you don't have to say anything to be affected by it. Think of it as second-hand smoke for the soul. You are absorbing the poisons and toxins that are leaving another person's lungs and making them part of your own. Only they are absorbed psychologically, not physiologically.
You've heard me say it before: Garbage in, garbage out. It applies to the food you eat, the air you breathe, and the words you hear. Listen to sad songs all day and you feel sad. Listen to upbeat music and your heart rate increases. Listen to people who are positive, you will be positive. Listen to people who aren't and... well, you get the point.
You are only as good as you want to be. You are as good as you allow yourself to be and a great deal of what determines this is what you hear, see, eat, drink, and associate with.
Show me who your friends are and I'll show you who you are.
Stand on principles. Whatever your principles are, they cannot be compromised. I am not saying they will never change, but once you decide what they are, they can never be compromised. If you are willing to trade those things closest to what makes you the person you are, then there is nothing you will not trade for a moment of comfort or to be accepted by whoever happens to be around at any given moment. Think bigger. Be an excellent person. Be a person of integrity. Anyone can be popular. My challenge to you is to be better.
I failed at this yesterday and I am learning from the experience but not dwelling on it. If you think I'm overreacting, take a look at yourself. Look at your friends. What do you talk about. WHO do you talk about. Did you ever gossip without looking around first? It doesn't matter where you are, you look over your shoulder first because you know you are doing wrong. You know the subject of your whispers would be hurt if they heard you, but you do it anyway.
But the good news is that there is a simple solution: STOP!
Lessons:
- Where you stand determines where you'll land
- Show me who your friends are and I'll show you who you are
- If you have to hide what you are saying, you probably shouldn't be saying it
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better
- I will avoid gossip and all negative talk
- I will never again be a hypocrite
- I will surround myself with positive people and I will be a positive person
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You've heard me say it before: Garbage in, garbage out. It applies to the food you eat, the air you breathe, and the words you hear. Listen to sad songs all day and you feel sad. Listen to upbeat music and your heart rate increases. Listen to people who are positive, you will be positive. Listen to people who aren't and... well, you get the point.
You are only as good as you want to be. You are as good as you allow yourself to be and a great deal of what determines this is what you hear, see, eat, drink, and associate with.
Show me who your friends are and I'll show you who you are.
Stand on principles. Whatever your principles are, they cannot be compromised. I am not saying they will never change, but once you decide what they are, they can never be compromised. If you are willing to trade those things closest to what makes you the person you are, then there is nothing you will not trade for a moment of comfort or to be accepted by whoever happens to be around at any given moment. Think bigger. Be an excellent person. Be a person of integrity. Anyone can be popular. My challenge to you is to be better.
I failed at this yesterday and I am learning from the experience but not dwelling on it. If you think I'm overreacting, take a look at yourself. Look at your friends. What do you talk about. WHO do you talk about. Did you ever gossip without looking around first? It doesn't matter where you are, you look over your shoulder first because you know you are doing wrong. You know the subject of your whispers would be hurt if they heard you, but you do it anyway.
But the good news is that there is a simple solution: STOP!
Lessons:
- Where you stand determines where you'll land
- Show me who your friends are and I'll show you who you are
- If you have to hide what you are saying, you probably shouldn't be saying it
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better
- I will avoid gossip and all negative talk
- I will never again be a hypocrite
- I will surround myself with positive people and I will be a positive person
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Friday, June 25, 2010
Day # 29 - It's all in the approach
No matter what you do in your life, from ordering lunch to asking that special person on a date. your approach will do more to determine the outcome than you know. By approach, I mean your mental state, your attitude, eye contact, posture, demeanor and body language.
- Mental State: Clear your mind, focus on the goal. Eyes on the prize. If you walk into a situation where making the right impression is important and your mind is elsewhere, you will not be able to perform. Be in the moment.
- Attitude: Be positive positive positive and positive, and always be confident. There's nothing else to be said about that.
- Eye contact: When you make good eye contact, it shows you are confident, sincere, and have nothing to hide. I don't mean you stare at a person's eyes like a boxer before a match, but don't fail to hold a glance. Your eyes say more than your mouth ever could.
- Demeanor: Be pleasant. Don't be a grouch or a slouch, and don't be a used car salesman. Listen more than you talk and when you talk, don't brag, don't whine, and don't complain.
- Body language: Remember when your mother would tell you to stand up straight? She was right. Do it.
Why am I telling you this? I am a believer in networking. I think it's a great way to grow your business and social life. But your approach has to be correct. I am not telling you to not be yourself. On the contrary, the less lies you tell, the less you have to remember. By all means, be yourself.
If you are ever in a room full of strangers and need to make friends, these bits of advice will help you. (More on that at another time.)
I am thinking about an event I recently attended where one of the attendees approached me about getting business from my company and the chamber of commerce. Their approach was to complain and point out that their competitor was getting more business than they were. This person pointed out that there were people who didn't treat them nice or say hello. I wasn't feeling very well and so couldn't bring out the correct words of advice - so I am writing them.
It wasn't bad enough that I was told all this, the person went and repeated the same story to other chamber members. You want a bad reputation? Whine. Repeat. I would never betray this person's confidence, but not everyone is like me.
The approach is never to complain. If you feel you're not getting your fair share, analyze the situation and figure out why. 99% of the time, the problem is you. There is no conspiracy. You're clueless or you're not working hard enough. End of story.
Lessons:
- It's all in the approach.
- Analyze your situation. Find the problem and solve it.
- Work harder and smarter.
- Quit complaining.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better.
- Today I will change my approach to life.
- I will be a worker, not a complainer.
- I will analyze situations to find the problems and fix them.
With the right attitude, everything gets better and easier. Change the way you look at things, and the things you look at will change. This is true. I can testify to that. Some day I will. When the words are right.
Make it your best day yet. God bless you.
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- Mental State: Clear your mind, focus on the goal. Eyes on the prize. If you walk into a situation where making the right impression is important and your mind is elsewhere, you will not be able to perform. Be in the moment.
- Attitude: Be positive positive positive and positive, and always be confident. There's nothing else to be said about that.
- Eye contact: When you make good eye contact, it shows you are confident, sincere, and have nothing to hide. I don't mean you stare at a person's eyes like a boxer before a match, but don't fail to hold a glance. Your eyes say more than your mouth ever could.
- Demeanor: Be pleasant. Don't be a grouch or a slouch, and don't be a used car salesman. Listen more than you talk and when you talk, don't brag, don't whine, and don't complain.
- Body language: Remember when your mother would tell you to stand up straight? She was right. Do it.
Why am I telling you this? I am a believer in networking. I think it's a great way to grow your business and social life. But your approach has to be correct. I am not telling you to not be yourself. On the contrary, the less lies you tell, the less you have to remember. By all means, be yourself.
If you are ever in a room full of strangers and need to make friends, these bits of advice will help you. (More on that at another time.)
I am thinking about an event I recently attended where one of the attendees approached me about getting business from my company and the chamber of commerce. Their approach was to complain and point out that their competitor was getting more business than they were. This person pointed out that there were people who didn't treat them nice or say hello. I wasn't feeling very well and so couldn't bring out the correct words of advice - so I am writing them.
It wasn't bad enough that I was told all this, the person went and repeated the same story to other chamber members. You want a bad reputation? Whine. Repeat. I would never betray this person's confidence, but not everyone is like me.
The approach is never to complain. If you feel you're not getting your fair share, analyze the situation and figure out why. 99% of the time, the problem is you. There is no conspiracy. You're clueless or you're not working hard enough. End of story.
Lessons:
- It's all in the approach.
- Analyze your situation. Find the problem and solve it.
- Work harder and smarter.
- Quit complaining.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better.
- Today I will change my approach to life.
- I will be a worker, not a complainer.
- I will analyze situations to find the problems and fix them.
With the right attitude, everything gets better and easier. Change the way you look at things, and the things you look at will change. This is true. I can testify to that. Some day I will. When the words are right.
Make it your best day yet. God bless you.
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Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Day # 28 - It's a marathon. Not a sprint.
I have never been a patient person. I was always short-tempered, fidgety, it's just my nature. I have no patience. Well, I do now. I am learning it, but it's a long-time habit that won't be broken completely in a mere 28 days. I have been working on improving my patience for a long time and I'm learning tricks. I would like to share them with you.
1. Let it go. Recognize that you can't make everything happen at the speed you want it to happen. Impatience is about not accepting that things are out of your control.
2. Find a distraction. If all you focus on is whatever is causing the impatience, it will only seem worse. For example, if I am ever going any place where I know I'll have to wait, I bring a book. Sure, I could play solitaire on my phone, but that seems like a waste of time.
3. Give yourself time. If you tend to run into traffic every morning, and it causes you stress because you're nervous about being late, give yourself a little time. Listen to a book on CD, use the time wisely. I also find tuning in to classical music helps me. Classical music feeds your imagination in a way that contemporary music just can't.
There are more, but these are the three biggies that pop into mind.
I've been thinking all day about Steve Prefontaine. Prefontaine was a runner who died in the 1970's. He is widely considered to be one of the best runners ever, having won 120 races. I watched a film of his life a couple of years ago and until then I thought running was simply a matter of who was fastest and had the greater endurance. I never would have guessed there was strategy beyond left foot, right foot, repeat.
The truth is there is a lot of strategy that goes into something as simple as a race. There is pacing, there is a time to draft, a time to attack. You need to know what your opponent is doing and what he's capable of. All while pounding the pavement while your lungs overflow with battery acid. For me, a walk to the mailbox is enough to get my lungs aching, but I'm no Prefontaine.
I am impatient. I know that I have a long way to go before my year is up and even longer to be the man I wish to be. My goals are a million miles away and while I am traveling at high speed and have plenty of fuel for the journey, I am becoming bored and my impatience, my ridiculous impatience, is rearing its ugly head.
I know this is a test. I know that this is another withdrawal symptom. I know this is not failure or even a stumbling block. It's part of the detoxification of my character. It's a part of the cleansing of my mind, body, and soul.
Knowing it's a test is no guarantee that I will pass. I know I am vulnerable. I have taken on a lot. In the midst of this experiment, I decided to give up caffeine. It's been 12 days since I've had it and I feel more energized than ever before. In fact, here I am, wide awake. I have not had any fast food in as many days and neither have my children. I am committed to their health and well-being, too. Although, I know they get soda pop at grandma's house. Yeah, I called it soda pop. So what? But in my house, and in my presence, it's water, milk, juice. In that order. We are all feeling better, thank you very much.
So, like a runner, a fat runner with bad knees, I am trudging along. I am tempted to stop and rest, to take a break. No one's watching. No one will ever know, right? Wrong. God knows. I know. This is bigger than one day. This is bigger than one year. This is about all the years that will follow this one. This is about whether the rest of my life will be something of value or just another life.
Lessons:
- It's a marathon. Not a sprint. Plan out the run. Pace yourself.
- There will always be tests. Keep your pencil sharpened and eat a healthy breakfast.
- It's not about the bad. It's about the good. Become a hunter of silver linings.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better.
- I will be patient.
- I will pace myself.
- I will do the right thing because it is the right thing.
Remember, with patience grass becomes milk.
Make it your best day ever. God bless you.
- Adolfo
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1. Let it go. Recognize that you can't make everything happen at the speed you want it to happen. Impatience is about not accepting that things are out of your control.
2. Find a distraction. If all you focus on is whatever is causing the impatience, it will only seem worse. For example, if I am ever going any place where I know I'll have to wait, I bring a book. Sure, I could play solitaire on my phone, but that seems like a waste of time.
3. Give yourself time. If you tend to run into traffic every morning, and it causes you stress because you're nervous about being late, give yourself a little time. Listen to a book on CD, use the time wisely. I also find tuning in to classical music helps me. Classical music feeds your imagination in a way that contemporary music just can't.
There are more, but these are the three biggies that pop into mind.
I've been thinking all day about Steve Prefontaine. Prefontaine was a runner who died in the 1970's. He is widely considered to be one of the best runners ever, having won 120 races. I watched a film of his life a couple of years ago and until then I thought running was simply a matter of who was fastest and had the greater endurance. I never would have guessed there was strategy beyond left foot, right foot, repeat.
The truth is there is a lot of strategy that goes into something as simple as a race. There is pacing, there is a time to draft, a time to attack. You need to know what your opponent is doing and what he's capable of. All while pounding the pavement while your lungs overflow with battery acid. For me, a walk to the mailbox is enough to get my lungs aching, but I'm no Prefontaine.
I am impatient. I know that I have a long way to go before my year is up and even longer to be the man I wish to be. My goals are a million miles away and while I am traveling at high speed and have plenty of fuel for the journey, I am becoming bored and my impatience, my ridiculous impatience, is rearing its ugly head.
I know this is a test. I know that this is another withdrawal symptom. I know this is not failure or even a stumbling block. It's part of the detoxification of my character. It's a part of the cleansing of my mind, body, and soul.
Knowing it's a test is no guarantee that I will pass. I know I am vulnerable. I have taken on a lot. In the midst of this experiment, I decided to give up caffeine. It's been 12 days since I've had it and I feel more energized than ever before. In fact, here I am, wide awake. I have not had any fast food in as many days and neither have my children. I am committed to their health and well-being, too. Although, I know they get soda pop at grandma's house. Yeah, I called it soda pop. So what? But in my house, and in my presence, it's water, milk, juice. In that order. We are all feeling better, thank you very much.
So, like a runner, a fat runner with bad knees, I am trudging along. I am tempted to stop and rest, to take a break. No one's watching. No one will ever know, right? Wrong. God knows. I know. This is bigger than one day. This is bigger than one year. This is about all the years that will follow this one. This is about whether the rest of my life will be something of value or just another life.
Lessons:
- It's a marathon. Not a sprint. Plan out the run. Pace yourself.
- There will always be tests. Keep your pencil sharpened and eat a healthy breakfast.
- It's not about the bad. It's about the good. Become a hunter of silver linings.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better.
- I will be patient.
- I will pace myself.
- I will do the right thing because it is the right thing.
Remember, with patience grass becomes milk.
Make it your best day ever. God bless you.
- Adolfo
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Day # 27 - Stand your ground
Note: Everything write about is inspired by situations I am encountering in my life. These situations are not unique or particularly difficult. In many cases they are everyday situations that we all experience. The difference is in how I react and handle them. Or rather, the difference is in how I don't react.
I am not a pacifist. I believe we live in a world where the best way to preserve peace is by preparing for war. Could you imagine what this world would be like if the United States didn't have most powerful war machine ever to walk the earth? 9/11 would be a daily occurrence. Who knows what language we'd be speaking? The best defense truly is a good offense.
All my life I was very black and white when it came to confrontations. I would either avoid them completely or come down on my adversary with the fury of hell. I think part of the reason I avoided them is beacuse never could control my response. Better to wimp out than freak out, I guess.
Now, I know Christ taught us to turn the other cheek but I'm not sure I'm ready for that. I may never be, though it is a noble goal to become that way. I will say if someone like me can change, anyone can.
Be thoughtful in your responses and firm when stating your positions. Look the person in the eye. Maintain a level tone of voice. Stand or sit up straight (you should do this anyway) to show you are confident and sure of your argument. Focus on the other person, and smile when you feel like pouncing. The simple act of smiling, even if initially forced, will send a calming signal through your body and to your brain. It will literally change your attitude. It can also throw your opponent off his game. Relax your forehead and your shoulders. Don't cross your arms tightly or wring your hands. Stay relaxed so your eyes remain serene in their appearance. All of these actions will have the effect of making you feel the way you are acting.
It's a fool-proof way of being the bigger person without being a wimp.
My government saga from Monday isn't over after all. I need to speak to one of the bureacrats to resolve one last issue. I've called her twice (once per day) with no response. I will call her again today, and if necessary I will call her again tomorrow. If this doesn't work, I will call her at least twice on Friday. I will increase the number of calls per day until my issue is resolved or I am arrested for stalking, but I will be kind and gentle throughout.
Maybe it's because I am a libertarian, but I have always been hostile when it comes to dealing with the government. I have seen too much corruption and sloth and waste. These things offend me. While I will be persistent in my attempts to contact this lady, I will be polite, never threatening or rude. I represent almighty God, and as His ambassador, I must be on my best behavior at all times. I'll let you know how that goes.
Lessons:
- Be confident. Never walk into a situation without preparing for it as best you can.
- Leave emotion out of it. Bullies are angry. Wimps are frightened. Both suck.
- Relax. Everything comes out better when you are relaxed.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better
- Today I will learn to confront my adversaries and kill them with kindness
- I will always be persistent in pursuit of my goals
Keep your eyes on the prize. Keep the right attitude. Stand your ground. The world is waiting for you, all you have to do is have the confidence to go out and stake your claim.
Make it your best day ever. God bless you.
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I am not a pacifist. I believe we live in a world where the best way to preserve peace is by preparing for war. Could you imagine what this world would be like if the United States didn't have most powerful war machine ever to walk the earth? 9/11 would be a daily occurrence. Who knows what language we'd be speaking? The best defense truly is a good offense.
All my life I was very black and white when it came to confrontations. I would either avoid them completely or come down on my adversary with the fury of hell. I think part of the reason I avoided them is beacuse never could control my response. Better to wimp out than freak out, I guess.
Now, I know Christ taught us to turn the other cheek but I'm not sure I'm ready for that. I may never be, though it is a noble goal to become that way. I will say if someone like me can change, anyone can.
Be thoughtful in your responses and firm when stating your positions. Look the person in the eye. Maintain a level tone of voice. Stand or sit up straight (you should do this anyway) to show you are confident and sure of your argument. Focus on the other person, and smile when you feel like pouncing. The simple act of smiling, even if initially forced, will send a calming signal through your body and to your brain. It will literally change your attitude. It can also throw your opponent off his game. Relax your forehead and your shoulders. Don't cross your arms tightly or wring your hands. Stay relaxed so your eyes remain serene in their appearance. All of these actions will have the effect of making you feel the way you are acting.
It's a fool-proof way of being the bigger person without being a wimp.
My government saga from Monday isn't over after all. I need to speak to one of the bureacrats to resolve one last issue. I've called her twice (once per day) with no response. I will call her again today, and if necessary I will call her again tomorrow. If this doesn't work, I will call her at least twice on Friday. I will increase the number of calls per day until my issue is resolved or I am arrested for stalking, but I will be kind and gentle throughout.
Maybe it's because I am a libertarian, but I have always been hostile when it comes to dealing with the government. I have seen too much corruption and sloth and waste. These things offend me. While I will be persistent in my attempts to contact this lady, I will be polite, never threatening or rude. I represent almighty God, and as His ambassador, I must be on my best behavior at all times. I'll let you know how that goes.
Lessons:
- Be confident. Never walk into a situation without preparing for it as best you can.
- Leave emotion out of it. Bullies are angry. Wimps are frightened. Both suck.
- Relax. Everything comes out better when you are relaxed.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better
- Today I will learn to confront my adversaries and kill them with kindness
- I will always be persistent in pursuit of my goals
Keep your eyes on the prize. Keep the right attitude. Stand your ground. The world is waiting for you, all you have to do is have the confidence to go out and stake your claim.
Make it your best day ever. God bless you.
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Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Day # 26 - Tuning in to the right inner voice (or drill sergeant)
I kept busy yesterday so there was not a lot of opportunity to work on me. Or so it would seem. My day began in Downtown Miami. If you've never been to Miami, it's like Havana with less English speaking people.
I had business with the government down there. Anyone who knows me knows I dislike government in all its form. I dislike the inefficiency, the coldness, the lack of service, the laziness it instills in the bureaucrats it ensnares. Rough way to start a Monday.
I drove south on I-95 to get downtown. I arrived in Miami, parked about six blocks from where I needed to be and walked - in the rain. I managed to arrive early, but I wasn't going to sit in this tiny room so I went outside to make phone calls and breathe. I came up ten minutes later to find myself in a sardine can. A rent-a-cop with an attitude yelling for the people with 8:30 appointments (it's now 9:05.)
I deal with the bureaucrat, who can't even tell me the phone number to the department I need to contact. No sympathy, no sense of caring. Just no. Mama, don't let your babies grow up to be government workers.
I had to make a payment. She matter-of-factly tells me that they don't give change. I smile and tell her the government has taken a piece of every dollar I've ever earned. Go ahead and keep the last one. I will get the dollar back. They'll mail me a check. One dollar. They will spend at least another dollar to give me a buck that could have been handed to me right then and there.
The reason for this rant is to talk about discipline. I was in what is (to me) a hostile environment, in an unpleasant situation, being treated like a criminal for doing nothing more than paying my honest debts and doing so out of my own free will, without any coercion or outside influence. This experience, which I am condensing in the interest of not writing "War and Peace" this morning, was enough to make me want to lose it, but why step backwards. Why let the joylessness that coarsed through these poor people's veins infect me?
I was only 9:20 when I left and I would not let the experience set the tone for the rest of my day.
That's where the drill sergeant stepped in. I am teaching the voice in my head (voices, really) to tell me the things I need to hear, not the things I used to hear. I walked through that big city and admired the beauty and the history of the place. I read signs and smiled at the sky because the rain had passed and the sun was sucking up the water. I didn't see a rainbow, but I didn't need to.
I bounced along the street and told myself I was finally getting a little exercise, which I haven't been getting enough of for the last twenty years or so. I found the bright side and I embraced it.
I am late this morning because I didn't (and still don't) feel like writing today. I want to stay in bed. But here I am. I made a commitment and with over 330 days to go, it's too early to be tired. That's listening to the inner drill sergeant.
Lessons:
- You determine what kind of day your going to have. No one can ruin your day but you.
- The voices in your head are like a radio. Tune out the negative ones. Find the positive ones.
- When life gives you rain, look for rainbows.
- Try to find the beauty in ordinary things.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way, I am getting better and better.
- Today, I will begin to shut out the negative thoughts. I will slap them away until they don't come back.
- Today, I will seek out the positive the way I used to seek out the negative.
There are two sides to every coin and there are several possible outcomes to every situation. The X factor is your attitude. Decide to be happy. Yes, it is a choice.
Make it your best day ever. God bless you.
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I had business with the government down there. Anyone who knows me knows I dislike government in all its form. I dislike the inefficiency, the coldness, the lack of service, the laziness it instills in the bureaucrats it ensnares. Rough way to start a Monday.
I drove south on I-95 to get downtown. I arrived in Miami, parked about six blocks from where I needed to be and walked - in the rain. I managed to arrive early, but I wasn't going to sit in this tiny room so I went outside to make phone calls and breathe. I came up ten minutes later to find myself in a sardine can. A rent-a-cop with an attitude yelling for the people with 8:30 appointments (it's now 9:05.)
I deal with the bureaucrat, who can't even tell me the phone number to the department I need to contact. No sympathy, no sense of caring. Just no. Mama, don't let your babies grow up to be government workers.
I had to make a payment. She matter-of-factly tells me that they don't give change. I smile and tell her the government has taken a piece of every dollar I've ever earned. Go ahead and keep the last one. I will get the dollar back. They'll mail me a check. One dollar. They will spend at least another dollar to give me a buck that could have been handed to me right then and there.
The reason for this rant is to talk about discipline. I was in what is (to me) a hostile environment, in an unpleasant situation, being treated like a criminal for doing nothing more than paying my honest debts and doing so out of my own free will, without any coercion or outside influence. This experience, which I am condensing in the interest of not writing "War and Peace" this morning, was enough to make me want to lose it, but why step backwards. Why let the joylessness that coarsed through these poor people's veins infect me?
I was only 9:20 when I left and I would not let the experience set the tone for the rest of my day.
That's where the drill sergeant stepped in. I am teaching the voice in my head (voices, really) to tell me the things I need to hear, not the things I used to hear. I walked through that big city and admired the beauty and the history of the place. I read signs and smiled at the sky because the rain had passed and the sun was sucking up the water. I didn't see a rainbow, but I didn't need to.
I bounced along the street and told myself I was finally getting a little exercise, which I haven't been getting enough of for the last twenty years or so. I found the bright side and I embraced it.
I am late this morning because I didn't (and still don't) feel like writing today. I want to stay in bed. But here I am. I made a commitment and with over 330 days to go, it's too early to be tired. That's listening to the inner drill sergeant.
Lessons:
- You determine what kind of day your going to have. No one can ruin your day but you.
- The voices in your head are like a radio. Tune out the negative ones. Find the positive ones.
- When life gives you rain, look for rainbows.
- Try to find the beauty in ordinary things.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way, I am getting better and better.
- Today, I will begin to shut out the negative thoughts. I will slap them away until they don't come back.
- Today, I will seek out the positive the way I used to seek out the negative.
There are two sides to every coin and there are several possible outcomes to every situation. The X factor is your attitude. Decide to be happy. Yes, it is a choice.
Make it your best day ever. God bless you.
Start building your Success Library!
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Monday, June 21, 2010
Day # 25 - So what if it's Father's Day?
Okay, so I got a really nice shirt and a beautiful necktie. Loved them both. Of course, I don't wear ties to work anymore so let me know if anyone's having a wedding I can crash. It was sweet to be with the girls in the morning. AJ came by and spent the afternoon with us and helped me with some work I had to do (yes, I worked on Father's Day - business owners understand.)
AJ is 18 today. We talked about what he's going to do now that high school is fading into glory day status and the future beckons. He mentioned going to school in Europe. I think it's a wonderful idea and I support him a hundred percent. Of course, I immediately shifted into Dad mode, talking about how he needs to find and apply to schools now because we are in the post 9-11 world and the processing could take months if not years and on and on I went.
I think I over did it. He shut down on me. I forget how much like me he is. I also was reminded of how much like my father I am so I know that this will correct itself with time.
Yesterday I wrote about sharing your wisdom. I guess I should have mentioned that sharing and force-feeding are not the same thing. He is a very mature (now 18 year old) boy. Wise beyond his years. But he is still my child and I feel like I have to help him. Sometimes the best way to help is by not helping at all. Sometimes you just have to be there and hope you have answers when they have questions.
When AJ's mother and I went our separate ways, I went into a deep depression. Steven, my oldest, was in New York and I new nothing of him, my marriage had fallen apart, and I was alone, living in my mother's house, divorced with two sons in two different states. I was 21 years old.
I was a high school dropout. I quit my job because I was working for the uncle of the woman who'd just left me. Honestly, that part is hazy. I don't remember how it happened. All I do know is I was unemployed.
In my depression, only one thing kept me together, and that was AJ. I call him Junior, but he now prefers AJ. He kept me from going off the deep end. He kept me sane. He kept me from doing anything stupid.
The point of this is: That while I had failed at so many things by the time I was old enough to have a beer, it was something that was added to my life by a power bigger than myself, something that I didn't ask for or expect, that made my life worth living. It was because of AJ that I didn't give up. Eventually I would drive to New York and reconnect with Steven. I would earn my GED and go to college. I would climb the corporate and social ladder, start businesses, write, and lead organizations. All because a little boy who had no idea how much he meant to his father was placed in my care. All because God entrusted me with one of his angels.
Lessons:
- Tell your parents you love them.
- Tell your children you love them. Tell them as part of your greeting and when you say good-bye. Say it out of the blue. It means more than you know.
- Fathers: You are the model for the man your daughters will marry and the man your sons will be.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better.
- Today I will be the parent my children deserve.
- Today I will be the child my parents deserve.
- I am blessed with infinite love, and I will share it.
- I am a positive role model for my children.
When I started writing this morning, I had no ide where I would go with this. It's all stream-of-consciousness, and I don't edit. If it doesn't make sense, that is why. If it does, then that is why.
Make it your best day ever. God bless you.
- Adolfo
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AJ is 18 today. We talked about what he's going to do now that high school is fading into glory day status and the future beckons. He mentioned going to school in Europe. I think it's a wonderful idea and I support him a hundred percent. Of course, I immediately shifted into Dad mode, talking about how he needs to find and apply to schools now because we are in the post 9-11 world and the processing could take months if not years and on and on I went.
I think I over did it. He shut down on me. I forget how much like me he is. I also was reminded of how much like my father I am so I know that this will correct itself with time.
Yesterday I wrote about sharing your wisdom. I guess I should have mentioned that sharing and force-feeding are not the same thing. He is a very mature (now 18 year old) boy. Wise beyond his years. But he is still my child and I feel like I have to help him. Sometimes the best way to help is by not helping at all. Sometimes you just have to be there and hope you have answers when they have questions.
When AJ's mother and I went our separate ways, I went into a deep depression. Steven, my oldest, was in New York and I new nothing of him, my marriage had fallen apart, and I was alone, living in my mother's house, divorced with two sons in two different states. I was 21 years old.
I was a high school dropout. I quit my job because I was working for the uncle of the woman who'd just left me. Honestly, that part is hazy. I don't remember how it happened. All I do know is I was unemployed.
In my depression, only one thing kept me together, and that was AJ. I call him Junior, but he now prefers AJ. He kept me from going off the deep end. He kept me sane. He kept me from doing anything stupid.
The point of this is: That while I had failed at so many things by the time I was old enough to have a beer, it was something that was added to my life by a power bigger than myself, something that I didn't ask for or expect, that made my life worth living. It was because of AJ that I didn't give up. Eventually I would drive to New York and reconnect with Steven. I would earn my GED and go to college. I would climb the corporate and social ladder, start businesses, write, and lead organizations. All because a little boy who had no idea how much he meant to his father was placed in my care. All because God entrusted me with one of his angels.
Lessons:
- Tell your parents you love them.
- Tell your children you love them. Tell them as part of your greeting and when you say good-bye. Say it out of the blue. It means more than you know.
- Fathers: You are the model for the man your daughters will marry and the man your sons will be.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better.
- Today I will be the parent my children deserve.
- Today I will be the child my parents deserve.
- I am blessed with infinite love, and I will share it.
- I am a positive role model for my children.
When I started writing this morning, I had no ide where I would go with this. It's all stream-of-consciousness, and I don't edit. If it doesn't make sense, that is why. If it does, then that is why.
Make it your best day ever. God bless you.
- Adolfo
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Sunday, June 20, 2010
Day # 24 - It's not wisdom until you share it.
People who have known me for a long time have been asking me what exactly it is I am trying to accomplish. The truth is, I don't know. This is not like constructing a building, where you begin with plans and drawings and models. Sure, I have specific goals related to my career, my income, and my level of productivitiy, but I have no way of rendering a model of what the end result will be. Partly because I know it will be better than I imagine.
I spent the day with my son A.J. yesterday. We went to a reptile show at my hotel and worked for a while. We chatted like we always had and I shared my experience like I always have. My words leave me as experience, he absorbs them as wisdom. For better or worse, this is just the way it is. A.J. will be 18 tomorrow. It's hard to wrap your head around it. Your kids grow up and you grow old and both happen without your permission. We cannot stop the forward march of time, but we can make that time count.
Once you are a parent and responsible for the development of someone other than yourself, you owe it to them to be the best person you can be and the best mentor you can be. Becoming a parent is the best cure for self-centeredness, shortsightedness, and irresponsibility I have ever encountered. So my boy becomes a man tomorrow. I have shared my limited wisdom with him and tried to make him learn from my mistakes even as I know, he has to make his own.
I've often told my sons (my oldest, Steven, will be twenty in September) that their sisters (ages 7 and 4) got a better father than they did. It's not a matter of me loving the younger ones more. It's a matter of maturity, experience, and yes, wisdom.
I am not implying that I am wise. Socrates said, "All I know is that I know nothing." How right he was. There is always more to know and the human factor guarantees that we will always find a way to screw up and that's fine. When our children get a glimpse of our humanity, they learn from our mistakes, and develop the wisdom they in turn will share with their children.
I like to say school is where you go for training, Life is where you get your education. I'd like to think my kids are in life's Ivy League, and that I'm at least a teacher's aide, if not the dean.
Lessons:
- Share your wisdom. You can't take it with you, but you can leave it behind and live forever.
- Accept that you know nothing. Learning never ends.
- Strive to be your best - people who love you deserve it.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better.
- I am learning every day. My education has only just begun.
- I will share my experience, that others may benefit from it.
Happy Father's Day to the dads out there. Remember, you are the man your sons will want to be, and the man your daughters will want to marry.
Make this your best day yet. God bless you.
-Adolfo
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I spent the day with my son A.J. yesterday. We went to a reptile show at my hotel and worked for a while. We chatted like we always had and I shared my experience like I always have. My words leave me as experience, he absorbs them as wisdom. For better or worse, this is just the way it is. A.J. will be 18 tomorrow. It's hard to wrap your head around it. Your kids grow up and you grow old and both happen without your permission. We cannot stop the forward march of time, but we can make that time count.
Once you are a parent and responsible for the development of someone other than yourself, you owe it to them to be the best person you can be and the best mentor you can be. Becoming a parent is the best cure for self-centeredness, shortsightedness, and irresponsibility I have ever encountered. So my boy becomes a man tomorrow. I have shared my limited wisdom with him and tried to make him learn from my mistakes even as I know, he has to make his own.
I've often told my sons (my oldest, Steven, will be twenty in September) that their sisters (ages 7 and 4) got a better father than they did. It's not a matter of me loving the younger ones more. It's a matter of maturity, experience, and yes, wisdom.
I am not implying that I am wise. Socrates said, "All I know is that I know nothing." How right he was. There is always more to know and the human factor guarantees that we will always find a way to screw up and that's fine. When our children get a glimpse of our humanity, they learn from our mistakes, and develop the wisdom they in turn will share with their children.
I like to say school is where you go for training, Life is where you get your education. I'd like to think my kids are in life's Ivy League, and that I'm at least a teacher's aide, if not the dean.
Lessons:
- Share your wisdom. You can't take it with you, but you can leave it behind and live forever.
- Accept that you know nothing. Learning never ends.
- Strive to be your best - people who love you deserve it.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better.
- I am learning every day. My education has only just begun.
- I will share my experience, that others may benefit from it.
Happy Father's Day to the dads out there. Remember, you are the man your sons will want to be, and the man your daughters will want to marry.
Make this your best day yet. God bless you.
-Adolfo
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Saturday, June 19, 2010
Day # 23 - I am (like) GOD!
Update: I slept. Man did I sleep. I haven't slept like I did last night in years. I got home around eight o'clock and by 9:30 I was knocked out. I just got out of bed a little before seven. Headache gone - feeling like a million bucks. Well, maybe several million.
If you open a tomato, pull out a seed and plant it, what grows? A tomato. Same goes for apples, watermelons, and anything else. You are a part of what you come from. Why does a mother feel the way she does for her child? Because this child was conceived and grew within her body, took its nourishment from her, and the mother is the first person a child touches or is touched by. There is a bond there that cannot be denied. Even if there is something wrong with the mother or the child. A prostitute or meth addict who has children, when asked about her regrets, will speak longingly of her child. She could go years without seeing her child and still recognize her baby's face on a crowded street. It's your parentage that decides your eye color, hair color, height, personality, abilities, tendencies, and everything else that makes you the unique being that you are.
That bond can be stretched, strained, and stressed, but never ultimately broken.
Now, let's talk about this in a more spiritual sense.
We come from God, do we not? Deny it if you wish, you're only fooling yourself. I know I came from God. If a tomato seed cannot grow into a pineapple, then I must be a part of what I came from as well. How can I not be a part of God? How can I be less? Why would I want to be? Why would I settle for being something as run of the mill as one of six billion human beings on this planet, when I could be God, Jr.?
Please understand, I am not suggesting that I am God or even a god. I am, however, suggesting that it is my duty to my heavenly father to do my best to be godly. Even an atheist would have to agree that the Ten Commandments are a fine way to live. I can see them having an issue with the first one, but no one in their right mind would argue for lying, killing, stealing, coveting, etc.
I had a very unpleasant conversation with a person yesterday, who says she is a woman of God. I am a bit under the weather and as I was about to answer her, I cleared my throat. She asked if I was about to lie to her. I smiled and let her know that I don't lie, but if I chose to, she would never know. She is the leader of a small church and is a charismatic "educated" woman. Education doesn't come from books - training does. Education comes from life, your parents, and experience. She thinks the alphabet soup that follows her name makes her my superior. This is one high school dropout she doesn't want to mess with!
Religion gets a bad rap when those of us who are a million light years from perfect presume to judge, when we behave like rich brats and look down our noses at others. It's not godlike. It's nonsense. I say, "we" meaning "them." I see things I don't agree with, but I know the best I can do is pray for the best, send people my blessing, and hope the way I'm living is pleasing to God. If it's not, I ask him for his forgiveness.
As you go on your own quest to discover and improve yourself, do not forget where you came from. Do not forget that although your goal may be God, you are merely human, and not fit to pass judgement. I am not trying to convert anyone. I don't feel that particular calling in my life at this point. I am preaching to the converted. Show humility, like Jesus did. Leaders do not stand on the hill, they go into the valley.
Lessons:
- I come from God. I must be like what I came from.
- This body I am occupying is temporary. My life has barely begun.
- I am not fit to judge. Therefore I will not.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better.
- Today I will be more like God.
- Today I will not pass judgement, rather I will look on others with love and compassion.
Get closer to God, and God will come closer to you. There is nothing wrong with living a good life. Imagine, relying on a perfect being instead of elected "leaders" who at every opportunity prove how inadequate they are. Cast your cares on a higher power. You won't be disappointed.
Make it your best day yet. God bless you.
- Adolfo
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If you open a tomato, pull out a seed and plant it, what grows? A tomato. Same goes for apples, watermelons, and anything else. You are a part of what you come from. Why does a mother feel the way she does for her child? Because this child was conceived and grew within her body, took its nourishment from her, and the mother is the first person a child touches or is touched by. There is a bond there that cannot be denied. Even if there is something wrong with the mother or the child. A prostitute or meth addict who has children, when asked about her regrets, will speak longingly of her child. She could go years without seeing her child and still recognize her baby's face on a crowded street. It's your parentage that decides your eye color, hair color, height, personality, abilities, tendencies, and everything else that makes you the unique being that you are.
That bond can be stretched, strained, and stressed, but never ultimately broken.
Now, let's talk about this in a more spiritual sense.
We come from God, do we not? Deny it if you wish, you're only fooling yourself. I know I came from God. If a tomato seed cannot grow into a pineapple, then I must be a part of what I came from as well. How can I not be a part of God? How can I be less? Why would I want to be? Why would I settle for being something as run of the mill as one of six billion human beings on this planet, when I could be God, Jr.?
Please understand, I am not suggesting that I am God or even a god. I am, however, suggesting that it is my duty to my heavenly father to do my best to be godly. Even an atheist would have to agree that the Ten Commandments are a fine way to live. I can see them having an issue with the first one, but no one in their right mind would argue for lying, killing, stealing, coveting, etc.
I had a very unpleasant conversation with a person yesterday, who says she is a woman of God. I am a bit under the weather and as I was about to answer her, I cleared my throat. She asked if I was about to lie to her. I smiled and let her know that I don't lie, but if I chose to, she would never know. She is the leader of a small church and is a charismatic "educated" woman. Education doesn't come from books - training does. Education comes from life, your parents, and experience. She thinks the alphabet soup that follows her name makes her my superior. This is one high school dropout she doesn't want to mess with!
Religion gets a bad rap when those of us who are a million light years from perfect presume to judge, when we behave like rich brats and look down our noses at others. It's not godlike. It's nonsense. I say, "we" meaning "them." I see things I don't agree with, but I know the best I can do is pray for the best, send people my blessing, and hope the way I'm living is pleasing to God. If it's not, I ask him for his forgiveness.
As you go on your own quest to discover and improve yourself, do not forget where you came from. Do not forget that although your goal may be God, you are merely human, and not fit to pass judgement. I am not trying to convert anyone. I don't feel that particular calling in my life at this point. I am preaching to the converted. Show humility, like Jesus did. Leaders do not stand on the hill, they go into the valley.
Lessons:
- I come from God. I must be like what I came from.
- This body I am occupying is temporary. My life has barely begun.
- I am not fit to judge. Therefore I will not.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better.
- Today I will be more like God.
- Today I will not pass judgement, rather I will look on others with love and compassion.
Get closer to God, and God will come closer to you. There is nothing wrong with living a good life. Imagine, relying on a perfect being instead of elected "leaders" who at every opportunity prove how inadequate they are. Cast your cares on a higher power. You won't be disappointed.
Make it your best day yet. God bless you.
- Adolfo
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Friday, June 18, 2010
Day # 22 - Slow down.
It's just after 5 AM. I've been awake for a little while. My headache has calmed way down and it's practically gone. A good friend, someone whom I love and respect immensely, called me yesterday and asked me what was wrong with me. She told me I was trying to do too much and that's not healthy. She ought to know, she's a doctor.
I offered up the weak argument, often heard at workaholics anonymous meetings: At my age, I need to hurry up and get things done. She was right, I was wrong. She's a woman and I am a man so this is not a surprise. It always turns out the same way.
There's a thing about good friends: we see ourselves in them. I don't mean the way we see ourselves in our children. I mean friends hold up the mirror so we can see our true selves. After our chat, I felt energized and renewed.
With friends like these, who needs caffeine?
So, I left work, picked up my girls and had dinner with them. We got home and I did nothing at all. I plopped down on my bed and watched TV. (Did "Burn Notice" jump the shark? - I think they might have.) I brought home my laptop but it sat on the kitchen table like an unwanted plate of leftover something or other.
Sometimes you have to slow down. Personal growth is a lot like working out. I do myself no favors by lifting weights three hours a day every day. If you don't allow the muscles being worked out (the brain and soul in this case) you will burn out. I wasn't aware of this until my friend called me yesterday.
This is why she's my friend and I love her.
As a result of my "slow day" I have little to share. I am listening to an audio recording of "The Richest Man in Babylon." What's with these self-help books being set in the middle east? But today might just be music.
Today's lessons:
- Slow down. It does you no good to go at a thousand miles per hour just to hit a wall.
- Some times it's okay to just veg-out in front of the TV.
- Have friends. Listen to them. Be good to everyone and never burn a bridge.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way, I am getting better.
- I will work hard, but I will remember to stop and smell the roses.
- Thank you lord, for blessing me with such wonderful friends.
Today is a new day. I look forward to it being headache-free but if not, I keep reminding myself that this is a growing pain. It benefits me in the long run. And the long run is all that matters.
Make it your best day ever. God Bless You.
- Adolfo
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I offered up the weak argument, often heard at workaholics anonymous meetings: At my age, I need to hurry up and get things done. She was right, I was wrong. She's a woman and I am a man so this is not a surprise. It always turns out the same way.
There's a thing about good friends: we see ourselves in them. I don't mean the way we see ourselves in our children. I mean friends hold up the mirror so we can see our true selves. After our chat, I felt energized and renewed.
With friends like these, who needs caffeine?
So, I left work, picked up my girls and had dinner with them. We got home and I did nothing at all. I plopped down on my bed and watched TV. (Did "Burn Notice" jump the shark? - I think they might have.) I brought home my laptop but it sat on the kitchen table like an unwanted plate of leftover something or other.
Sometimes you have to slow down. Personal growth is a lot like working out. I do myself no favors by lifting weights three hours a day every day. If you don't allow the muscles being worked out (the brain and soul in this case) you will burn out. I wasn't aware of this until my friend called me yesterday.
This is why she's my friend and I love her.
As a result of my "slow day" I have little to share. I am listening to an audio recording of "The Richest Man in Babylon." What's with these self-help books being set in the middle east? But today might just be music.
Today's lessons:
- Slow down. It does you no good to go at a thousand miles per hour just to hit a wall.
- Some times it's okay to just veg-out in front of the TV.
- Have friends. Listen to them. Be good to everyone and never burn a bridge.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way, I am getting better.
- I will work hard, but I will remember to stop and smell the roses.
- Thank you lord, for blessing me with such wonderful friends.
Today is a new day. I look forward to it being headache-free but if not, I keep reminding myself that this is a growing pain. It benefits me in the long run. And the long run is all that matters.
Make it your best day ever. God Bless You.
- Adolfo
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Thursday, June 17, 2010
Day # 21 - Are we there yet?
I've had a headache since Monday. I also haven't slept all that well since Saturday. I think it's the combination of several things. The new job, being away from my kids after being, essentially, a stay-at-home dad for six months. I also have had no caffeine since Friday. That means today is day 6 within day 21.
Maybe I'm trying to do too much...
Oh well, if you're going to go, go big!
I think the headache is a symptom of withdrawal. Before you roll your eyes, try giving up caffeine, whether in the form of coffee, soda, or tea. It's not easy. I've been consuming it since before I can remember. Pepsi has always been a part of my life. I've been a coffee drinker since I was about 19 (two years - ahem.) These are habits that we don't even know we have. And while I had started slowing down on soda intake years ago, I almost always had coffee in the morning. So when I decided to stop, cold turkey, by the way, they don't make a caffeine patch, I thought it would be easy.
This is hard. The headaches are constant. I have one as we speak. But I also know that if I don't go full-tilt, total commitment, it'll never work.
I told you that to tell you this:
No pain, no gain. I know its cliche`, but that doesn't mean it isn't true.
This whole project started out as me giving up one addiction: news. It has evolved. It is said that it takes 21 days to make or break a habit. I can honestly say that the positive information I have been consuming for the last three weeks has made the news so unpalatable that I may never go back. I may become the word's first right-wing capitalist libertarian hippie.
I walked out of my office yesterday. We have a newspaper dispenser outside the lobby. The front page read:
PRESIDENT PREPARES BATTLE PLAN
There were two other, smaller headlines. I don't remember what they were, but they were equally negative. I used to live for that trash!
I AM CURED!!!!
Now, if I could make my head stop hurting. And, no, I will not be swallowing any aspirin for the headaches. Why stop one drug to replace it with another.
Lessons:
- Time heals all addictions. Even the silly ones. And, by the way, all addictions are bad. Even the silly ones.
- No pain, no gain.
- Do it with your own strength. Remember, there are no shortcuts to any place worth going.
- Headaches come and go.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way, I am getting better and better.
- I will deal with the headaches, for they are the growing pains of my personal development.
- Today, I begin to deal with my addictions.
- I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me.
I am going to lay in the dark for a while and calm this headache. If anyone has a suggestion on how I can naturally deal with it, I'm all ears. Remember that anything is possible if you believe it. A friend of mine once told me, that having anything is possible. The only question is, how bad do you want it?
May today be your best day ever. God bless you.
-Adolfo
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Maybe I'm trying to do too much...
Oh well, if you're going to go, go big!
I think the headache is a symptom of withdrawal. Before you roll your eyes, try giving up caffeine, whether in the form of coffee, soda, or tea. It's not easy. I've been consuming it since before I can remember. Pepsi has always been a part of my life. I've been a coffee drinker since I was about 19 (two years - ahem.) These are habits that we don't even know we have. And while I had started slowing down on soda intake years ago, I almost always had coffee in the morning. So when I decided to stop, cold turkey, by the way, they don't make a caffeine patch, I thought it would be easy.
This is hard. The headaches are constant. I have one as we speak. But I also know that if I don't go full-tilt, total commitment, it'll never work.
I told you that to tell you this:
No pain, no gain. I know its cliche`, but that doesn't mean it isn't true.
This whole project started out as me giving up one addiction: news. It has evolved. It is said that it takes 21 days to make or break a habit. I can honestly say that the positive information I have been consuming for the last three weeks has made the news so unpalatable that I may never go back. I may become the word's first right-wing capitalist libertarian hippie.
I walked out of my office yesterday. We have a newspaper dispenser outside the lobby. The front page read:
PRESIDENT PREPARES BATTLE PLAN
There were two other, smaller headlines. I don't remember what they were, but they were equally negative. I used to live for that trash!
I AM CURED!!!!
Now, if I could make my head stop hurting. And, no, I will not be swallowing any aspirin for the headaches. Why stop one drug to replace it with another.
Lessons:
- Time heals all addictions. Even the silly ones. And, by the way, all addictions are bad. Even the silly ones.
- No pain, no gain.
- Do it with your own strength. Remember, there are no shortcuts to any place worth going.
- Headaches come and go.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way, I am getting better and better.
- I will deal with the headaches, for they are the growing pains of my personal development.
- Today, I begin to deal with my addictions.
- I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me.
I am going to lay in the dark for a while and calm this headache. If anyone has a suggestion on how I can naturally deal with it, I'm all ears. Remember that anything is possible if you believe it. A friend of mine once told me, that having anything is possible. The only question is, how bad do you want it?
May today be your best day ever. God bless you.
-Adolfo
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Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Day # 20 - Making the moment count.
So, here I am. It's 1:46 AM as I begin to write this. I am exhausted so I hope this will be coherent. If it's not, apologize do truly I. Okay, so exhaustion doesn't make me witty. I get it. Let's move on. I have had insomnia for years. I have a hyperactive mind and it screams during the small hours. Often I supress it and get my five or six (or more) hours and all's good. Other times it becomes too much work to sleep and well, here we are...
I could lay in bed, staring at the darkness, allowing my mind to wander, but I am not at a point where a wandering mind would necessarily be a good thing. I am still learning to master my thoughts and train my mind. So, until I learn to calm the voices in my head, I let them tell me what to write.
I am making these moments count.
I started a new job on Monday and it's, shall we say, challenging. I know the stress and pressure of the new job have to do with it, and it will pass as I settle in, but since I can't fight it - I embrace it.
You may be wondering, so I'll answer: because I don't like taking pills. MaybeI should have had a cup of tea. I will definitely start the tea thing. Chamomille, perhaps.
But what I am doing with these hours is something we should do with every moment in our lives. Don't waste your time. You never get it back. Don't watch the news - again. Don't stare at the TV when there's nothing on. Of course you do that. We've all griped that there's nothing good on TV while sitting our butts on the couch and continuing to watch the nothing.
Pick up a book, for God's sake! It will not kill you, I promise. Unless you pick it up while driving or operating heavy machinery in which case it could kill you, or injure you. But seriously. I know most of you reading this read books - or have in the past. If you've gotten out of that habit, get back into it. Ease into it with an old favorite. I recommend "Green Eggs and Ham," by Dr. Seuss. I mean it. One of the best books I've ever read and I've read thousands of them.
Please understand, I am not talking about any time you can't sleep. I am talking about finding time where you think you don't have any. And I don't mean the only way to spend this time is by reading. Spend time with your family. Take a walk. Work out. Have a conversation with someone you love. Make the moment count.
NEWS FLASH: You ain't gonna live forever. You hear it all the time. No one lays on their deathbed wishing they had watched more TV or spent more time in the office. They would all trade everything they had for more time - with family, friends, lovers, hobbies. The good news is that you don't have to wait until you're on your way out. Make the choice now.
I don't want to die with regrets. Do you? I don't want to wonder what could have been. I don't want to look at my kids and wonder where the time went. I want to look at them and remember how we spent the time.
Lessons:
- Live each day to the fullest.
- Make time for what truly matters. Who cares about the damn oil spill?
- In real life, there are no reruns. If you miss something, you've missed it forever.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day, in every way, I am getting better and better.
- Today, I will begin making each moment count.
- Today, I will align my time with my priorities.
- Today, I will take time wasted on the banal and invest it in tomorrow's memories.
I think I'll read a bit and try to get a few hours of sleep. Very few. I don't want to miss anything.
Make it your best day ever! God bless you.
- Adolfo
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I could lay in bed, staring at the darkness, allowing my mind to wander, but I am not at a point where a wandering mind would necessarily be a good thing. I am still learning to master my thoughts and train my mind. So, until I learn to calm the voices in my head, I let them tell me what to write.
I am making these moments count.
I started a new job on Monday and it's, shall we say, challenging. I know the stress and pressure of the new job have to do with it, and it will pass as I settle in, but since I can't fight it - I embrace it.
You may be wondering, so I'll answer: because I don't like taking pills. MaybeI should have had a cup of tea. I will definitely start the tea thing. Chamomille, perhaps.
But what I am doing with these hours is something we should do with every moment in our lives. Don't waste your time. You never get it back. Don't watch the news - again. Don't stare at the TV when there's nothing on. Of course you do that. We've all griped that there's nothing good on TV while sitting our butts on the couch and continuing to watch the nothing.
Pick up a book, for God's sake! It will not kill you, I promise. Unless you pick it up while driving or operating heavy machinery in which case it could kill you, or injure you. But seriously. I know most of you reading this read books - or have in the past. If you've gotten out of that habit, get back into it. Ease into it with an old favorite. I recommend "Green Eggs and Ham," by Dr. Seuss. I mean it. One of the best books I've ever read and I've read thousands of them.
Please understand, I am not talking about any time you can't sleep. I am talking about finding time where you think you don't have any. And I don't mean the only way to spend this time is by reading. Spend time with your family. Take a walk. Work out. Have a conversation with someone you love. Make the moment count.
NEWS FLASH: You ain't gonna live forever. You hear it all the time. No one lays on their deathbed wishing they had watched more TV or spent more time in the office. They would all trade everything they had for more time - with family, friends, lovers, hobbies. The good news is that you don't have to wait until you're on your way out. Make the choice now.
I don't want to die with regrets. Do you? I don't want to wonder what could have been. I don't want to look at my kids and wonder where the time went. I want to look at them and remember how we spent the time.
Lessons:
- Live each day to the fullest.
- Make time for what truly matters. Who cares about the damn oil spill?
- In real life, there are no reruns. If you miss something, you've missed it forever.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day, in every way, I am getting better and better.
- Today, I will begin making each moment count.
- Today, I will align my time with my priorities.
- Today, I will take time wasted on the banal and invest it in tomorrow's memories.
I think I'll read a bit and try to get a few hours of sleep. Very few. I don't want to miss anything.
Make it your best day ever! God bless you.
- Adolfo
Start building your Success Library!
Follow me on Twitter
Friend me on Facebook
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Day # 19 - Don't go back... not even for a running start.
I began a new project yesterday. One that will be taking a lot of my time. I am working in the hotel business again, something I haven't done in five years and something I swore I would never do again, unless the deal met certain criteria - this situation meets those criteria.
This is a situation that requires me to draw on my experience - far back as it may be. As I looked through files, BEO's, contracts, and reservation requests, it all started coming back to me in spite of the fact that I haven't been active in the hotel business in so long.
The point I'm trying to make is that I didn't have to live in the past to remember the value of my experiences. I had good and bad times in the hotel business. Many of my close friends are people I met while working in the industry. I met my wife while working in the industry. I learned valuable life lessons and my children also benefited as I became a more savvy traveler. When traveling, I know what to look for to ensure we get the best accommodations possible.
This is not to say that I didn't have bad moments. I had awful moments. Getting hired away from a secure corporate job just to be laid off 13 days before Christmas was a bad moment. And it made me stronger. I decided to switch careers, earned my Series 7, became a financial advisor, and now I've come full circle.
My mother always tells me, a dog has four legs but only follows one path. It's her way of telling me to focus. I appreciate her more than she'll ever know. She is my greatest mentor.
So here's my thing. I have been hurt - like you. I have been cheated, mistreated, and all that bad country music song nonsense. But I have also been loved. I have been loved so deeply and extraordinarily that if I never saw another soul again and lived to be a thousand I would feel like I took more than my fair share.
And I have suffered my share of heartbreaks and disappointments but they pale in comparison to the good things God has blessed me with.
Lessons:
- I remember the good times with fondness.
- I remember the bad times with gratitude because they made me stronger. Of course, I don't think of them often and I never dwell on them.
- I take the good and leave the bad.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way, I am getting better and better.
- Today, I am letting go of the past. the past is like a footprint, left behind and only there when I turn around and look at it. And like a footprint, my past cannot affect me.
- I am living in the moment.
- My experience makes me the person who I am and I thank God for it.
Let go of the past. Let go of the pain. If someone did something to hurt you, forgive them. Even if you don't really feel it in your heart, say it out loud and repeat it over and over. Do it every day. Forgive them. Confess it with your mouth and you will believe it with your heart. Until you let go of the pain, it will affect everything you do. Is it worth it? Of course not. Forgive and move on.
Make it your best day ever! God bless you,
Adolfo
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This is a situation that requires me to draw on my experience - far back as it may be. As I looked through files, BEO's, contracts, and reservation requests, it all started coming back to me in spite of the fact that I haven't been active in the hotel business in so long.
The point I'm trying to make is that I didn't have to live in the past to remember the value of my experiences. I had good and bad times in the hotel business. Many of my close friends are people I met while working in the industry. I met my wife while working in the industry. I learned valuable life lessons and my children also benefited as I became a more savvy traveler. When traveling, I know what to look for to ensure we get the best accommodations possible.
This is not to say that I didn't have bad moments. I had awful moments. Getting hired away from a secure corporate job just to be laid off 13 days before Christmas was a bad moment. And it made me stronger. I decided to switch careers, earned my Series 7, became a financial advisor, and now I've come full circle.
My mother always tells me, a dog has four legs but only follows one path. It's her way of telling me to focus. I appreciate her more than she'll ever know. She is my greatest mentor.
So here's my thing. I have been hurt - like you. I have been cheated, mistreated, and all that bad country music song nonsense. But I have also been loved. I have been loved so deeply and extraordinarily that if I never saw another soul again and lived to be a thousand I would feel like I took more than my fair share.
And I have suffered my share of heartbreaks and disappointments but they pale in comparison to the good things God has blessed me with.
Lessons:
- I remember the good times with fondness.
- I remember the bad times with gratitude because they made me stronger. Of course, I don't think of them often and I never dwell on them.
- I take the good and leave the bad.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way, I am getting better and better.
- Today, I am letting go of the past. the past is like a footprint, left behind and only there when I turn around and look at it. And like a footprint, my past cannot affect me.
- I am living in the moment.
- My experience makes me the person who I am and I thank God for it.
Let go of the past. Let go of the pain. If someone did something to hurt you, forgive them. Even if you don't really feel it in your heart, say it out loud and repeat it over and over. Do it every day. Forgive them. Confess it with your mouth and you will believe it with your heart. Until you let go of the pain, it will affect everything you do. Is it worth it? Of course not. Forgive and move on.
Make it your best day ever! God bless you,
Adolfo
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Monday, June 14, 2010
Day # 19 - Know thy enemy.
It was a rough day yesterday. That's probably why I've been awake since 1:30 this morning. I tried to get back to sleep - it wasn't happening - so here I am.
It's time to reset the temper clock. The universe conspired to push me to my breaking point and I failed to manage it. By failing to manage my temper, I failed and the day wasn't all it could have been. I met the enemy on his terms rather than on my own.
When you are a person of value, as I believe (know) I am, every step you take toward God-realization, or self-actualization, will be met with a challenge. As you get closer, the challenges will become more and more difficult. It's important not to be discouraged.
Although I failed to live up to my standard yesterday, I am not discouraged. I will continue. Now, sitting here in the silence of the small hours, I can reflect. No noise, no distractions. I can sit down and meditate on today - not dwell on yesterday or worry about tomorrow. I can be in the moment.
It's interesting that in yesterday's declarations I wrote that I am the master of my emotions, not the other way around. Maybe I need to read what I write. Maybe I'm dwelling on the past even though I just said I wouldn't.
Today's a big day and I should be sleeping. Oh, well life goes on.
Lessons:
- The longer you go in your journey, the tougher the challenges. Like climbing a mountain, it gets tougher, but the view gets better.
- As the poisons leave your system, you are bound to feel some of their effects.
- Reflect on the past and your mistakes only long enough to learn your lesson. Then move on. You can't unscramble eggs.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way, I am getting better and better.
- I am the master of my emotions. Not the other way around.
- I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me.
- I was created in God's image. God is perfect. I cannot fail. Failure is not in my DNA.
Thomas Edison said, "Failure is an opportunity to begin again more intelligently." If you've failed at anything, don't sweat it. Fix it and move on. Today is happening right now. Don't miss it.
Make it your best day yet. God bless you.
- Adolfo
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It's time to reset the temper clock. The universe conspired to push me to my breaking point and I failed to manage it. By failing to manage my temper, I failed and the day wasn't all it could have been. I met the enemy on his terms rather than on my own.
When you are a person of value, as I believe (know) I am, every step you take toward God-realization, or self-actualization, will be met with a challenge. As you get closer, the challenges will become more and more difficult. It's important not to be discouraged.
Although I failed to live up to my standard yesterday, I am not discouraged. I will continue. Now, sitting here in the silence of the small hours, I can reflect. No noise, no distractions. I can sit down and meditate on today - not dwell on yesterday or worry about tomorrow. I can be in the moment.
It's interesting that in yesterday's declarations I wrote that I am the master of my emotions, not the other way around. Maybe I need to read what I write. Maybe I'm dwelling on the past even though I just said I wouldn't.
Today's a big day and I should be sleeping. Oh, well life goes on.
Lessons:
- The longer you go in your journey, the tougher the challenges. Like climbing a mountain, it gets tougher, but the view gets better.
- As the poisons leave your system, you are bound to feel some of their effects.
- Reflect on the past and your mistakes only long enough to learn your lesson. Then move on. You can't unscramble eggs.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way, I am getting better and better.
- I am the master of my emotions. Not the other way around.
- I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me.
- I was created in God's image. God is perfect. I cannot fail. Failure is not in my DNA.
Thomas Edison said, "Failure is an opportunity to begin again more intelligently." If you've failed at anything, don't sweat it. Fix it and move on. Today is happening right now. Don't miss it.
Make it your best day yet. God bless you.
- Adolfo
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Sunday, June 13, 2010
Day # 18 - The little things. The shift.
I have had bad days since I started this. I have had bad days before and when this is over, there may still be bad days. It's going to happen every now and then. It's how we handle it that matters. Yesterday was a pretty rough day. One of those to make me lose my temper, but I chose not to. I calmed down. I breathed. I made declarations and I asked God for help. Now, the nature of the problem is completely irrelevant. Personal problems are relative. What upsets me may be a walk in the park for you and vice versa.
My car didn't want to start yesterday morning. That was the beginning. The battery is relatively new (2-3 months) so it shouldn't have been a problem. That could have set the tone because the problems only got worse.
I decided it was, like all challenges, a test. One I would not fail. I found myself angry and brooding, so I retreated. Instead of being in the house where the kids would witness me popping if I lost control, I went outside and did yardwork. Breathing and thinking - not stewing and brooding. I worked through it in my mind and conquered the demon.
What I find really interesting in all of this is that each time I read the words of an ancient philosopher or self-help guru or spiritual leader, it all sounds familiar. I am not making discoveries. There's no need to rewrite the Bible, it already exists. The same can be said for most of what is changing my life as I write this. Maybe my method is new (accountability to cyberspace? I don't know what to call it) but the idea is age-old. I guess the lesson is that if I can do it, anyone can.
I really don't know if this is helping anyone other than myself. I have received some words of encouragement from friends. I was taking with Abby yesterday and I told her this entire experience would be worth it even if I never shared it with a soul, but to really make it matter, I have to share it with anyone who needs it. This, of course, left me pondering my future. There is nothing wrong with preparing for the future, but not at the expense of the moment. Live in the now. If spend all your time planning for tomorrow, you will miss today.
I know the time will come for me to share this with the world in a more serious manner. Until it does, I'll continue my education and personal development.
Lessons:
- Empathy. You may not understand what a person is feeling, but that doesn't make it less real.
- Nothing builds more than love. Nothing destroys more than anger.
- No need to reinvent the wheel. Stand on the shoulders of giants.
- Live for the future, live in the moment.
- Education continues long after school ends.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day, in every way, I am getting better and better.
- I will live for today, a day which God has made for me.
- I will be a friend to someone who needs a friend.
- I am the master of my emotions - not the other way around.
It's Sunday. Go to church. I mean it. If you feel like you are missing something in your life, perhaps it's time you went out looking for it.
Make it your best day yet. God bless you.
Always,
Adolfo
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My car didn't want to start yesterday morning. That was the beginning. The battery is relatively new (2-3 months) so it shouldn't have been a problem. That could have set the tone because the problems only got worse.
I decided it was, like all challenges, a test. One I would not fail. I found myself angry and brooding, so I retreated. Instead of being in the house where the kids would witness me popping if I lost control, I went outside and did yardwork. Breathing and thinking - not stewing and brooding. I worked through it in my mind and conquered the demon.
What I find really interesting in all of this is that each time I read the words of an ancient philosopher or self-help guru or spiritual leader, it all sounds familiar. I am not making discoveries. There's no need to rewrite the Bible, it already exists. The same can be said for most of what is changing my life as I write this. Maybe my method is new (accountability to cyberspace? I don't know what to call it) but the idea is age-old. I guess the lesson is that if I can do it, anyone can.
I really don't know if this is helping anyone other than myself. I have received some words of encouragement from friends. I was taking with Abby yesterday and I told her this entire experience would be worth it even if I never shared it with a soul, but to really make it matter, I have to share it with anyone who needs it. This, of course, left me pondering my future. There is nothing wrong with preparing for the future, but not at the expense of the moment. Live in the now. If spend all your time planning for tomorrow, you will miss today.
I know the time will come for me to share this with the world in a more serious manner. Until it does, I'll continue my education and personal development.
Lessons:
- Empathy. You may not understand what a person is feeling, but that doesn't make it less real.
- Nothing builds more than love. Nothing destroys more than anger.
- No need to reinvent the wheel. Stand on the shoulders of giants.
- Live for the future, live in the moment.
- Education continues long after school ends.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day, in every way, I am getting better and better.
- I will live for today, a day which God has made for me.
- I will be a friend to someone who needs a friend.
- I am the master of my emotions - not the other way around.
It's Sunday. Go to church. I mean it. If you feel like you are missing something in your life, perhaps it's time you went out looking for it.
Make it your best day yet. God bless you.
Always,
Adolfo
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Saturday, June 12, 2010
Day # 17 - Glass houses. Friends as mirrors. Boundaries equal priorities.
I have to admit, I am sluggish this morning. I told myself that if I didn't write no one would care. That may be true in a way. Maybe no one else will care if I skip a day or if I quit altogether. But, sorry for the way this will sound, this isn't about you, it's about me. I made a commitment to see this thing through and I will. To take a day off would be failure. So, if you're reading this, thank you. If it's not my best work, know that it is my best effort.
I spoke with an old friend yesterday. We spoke for close to an hour and it was probably one of the best conversations she and I have had in our relationship. We're talking 15 years. I realized how alike she and I are. I would always give her a hard time because she would have a victim mentality. I thought she had an overall negative outlook on life, and although I never told her this, I believed she brought these things on herself. Now, I know she brought these things on herself.
I also realized how alike she and I were (are.)
Where she would allow the negative things to bring her down, I allowed them to amp me up - in a negative way. My angry to her sad. Neither is productive. Both are destructive. I came to realize the things that disappointed my about my friend were things that exist in me. I was projecting.
The conversation we had yesterday was unlike any I can remember having. We talked about my blog and what this exercise means to me, we talked about how I'm changing. And we talked about how she's handling her feelings and how she's changing. Go figure. We had to grow up in order to start growing up.
I realize I was judging her and I know that I am no one to judge. That's up to God and people who were black robes and take themselves seriously. It's time to rebuild my glass house.
People, friends in particular, serve as mirrors. Sometimes, we need to examine the way we may feel about a friend or relative in order to take a look inside ourselves. Are we seeing the person as they are, or are we seeing them as we are? If there are things about your friends that you don't like, you should maybe examine why you're still friends. Is this person more messed up than you are? If so, you might hang around them to feel bigger. If this is the case, it is your obligation as human being and a friend to help build this person up. Tell them why they are special to you. I am not a believer in the "everybody is special" politically correct nonsense. But I do believe that we are all blessed with certain gifts and talents and we sin against our Creator when we let them go to waste.
She mentioned something in our conversation about her job that I want to share with you. Now, I have always known her as a workaholic. She is a very talented, educated person and she works very well. She was my boss on two different occasions so I witnessed firsthand the passion with which she approaches her work. When we spoke yesterday (Friday) she was home with her kids. That was impossible way back when. She was always glued to her office.
She is with a new company now and she said one thing she did right off the bat was set boundaries. She is, barring a catastrophe, out the door by 5:00 to go pick up her kids and take them home to have dinner as a family. She used to try to find an alternative for the kids. Now, she finds an alternative for her work. She shifted priorities by setting boundaries. She sounded happier than she ever had before. I could even hear it in her kids' voices.
I'm proud of my friend. She is doing well. I'm afraid she may be growing up (I will never make that mistake.) Most of all, I feel good because I know she is getting better. I know that if she keeps changing her attitude, she will receive the blessings which have eluded her for so long.
Lessons:
- When you make a commitment, keep it. Even if you don't feel like it.
- Old friends (and new ones) are not only there to listen, they are there to be heard.
- If you live in a glass house, don't throw stones. Oh, and invest in a robe and curtains.
- If you're having trouble prioritizing, set boundaries, it's a great first step.
- Kids grow up. Enjoy them now.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way, I am getting better and better.
- Today I will not judge others.
- Today I will be a friend to someone who needs one.
- Today I will sort out my priorities by setting boundaries in my work, social, and personal life.
There's an old poem, I don't know who wrote it, which says:
Think most where man's fortune begins and where it ends
And think mine was that I had such friends
Nobody does it alone. You and I are no exception. You have a friend who needs your help. You know who it is. Pick up the phone and call this person. Listen to them. Build them up. Be there for them. You will be doing more for yourself in the process than you can imagine.
Make it your best day yet. God bless you.
Adolfo
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Follow me on Twitter
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I spoke with an old friend yesterday. We spoke for close to an hour and it was probably one of the best conversations she and I have had in our relationship. We're talking 15 years. I realized how alike she and I are. I would always give her a hard time because she would have a victim mentality. I thought she had an overall negative outlook on life, and although I never told her this, I believed she brought these things on herself. Now, I know she brought these things on herself.
I also realized how alike she and I were (are.)
Where she would allow the negative things to bring her down, I allowed them to amp me up - in a negative way. My angry to her sad. Neither is productive. Both are destructive. I came to realize the things that disappointed my about my friend were things that exist in me. I was projecting.
The conversation we had yesterday was unlike any I can remember having. We talked about my blog and what this exercise means to me, we talked about how I'm changing. And we talked about how she's handling her feelings and how she's changing. Go figure. We had to grow up in order to start growing up.
I realize I was judging her and I know that I am no one to judge. That's up to God and people who were black robes and take themselves seriously. It's time to rebuild my glass house.
People, friends in particular, serve as mirrors. Sometimes, we need to examine the way we may feel about a friend or relative in order to take a look inside ourselves. Are we seeing the person as they are, or are we seeing them as we are? If there are things about your friends that you don't like, you should maybe examine why you're still friends. Is this person more messed up than you are? If so, you might hang around them to feel bigger. If this is the case, it is your obligation as human being and a friend to help build this person up. Tell them why they are special to you. I am not a believer in the "everybody is special" politically correct nonsense. But I do believe that we are all blessed with certain gifts and talents and we sin against our Creator when we let them go to waste.
She mentioned something in our conversation about her job that I want to share with you. Now, I have always known her as a workaholic. She is a very talented, educated person and she works very well. She was my boss on two different occasions so I witnessed firsthand the passion with which she approaches her work. When we spoke yesterday (Friday) she was home with her kids. That was impossible way back when. She was always glued to her office.
She is with a new company now and she said one thing she did right off the bat was set boundaries. She is, barring a catastrophe, out the door by 5:00 to go pick up her kids and take them home to have dinner as a family. She used to try to find an alternative for the kids. Now, she finds an alternative for her work. She shifted priorities by setting boundaries. She sounded happier than she ever had before. I could even hear it in her kids' voices.
I'm proud of my friend. She is doing well. I'm afraid she may be growing up (I will never make that mistake.) Most of all, I feel good because I know she is getting better. I know that if she keeps changing her attitude, she will receive the blessings which have eluded her for so long.
Lessons:
- When you make a commitment, keep it. Even if you don't feel like it.
- Old friends (and new ones) are not only there to listen, they are there to be heard.
- If you live in a glass house, don't throw stones. Oh, and invest in a robe and curtains.
- If you're having trouble prioritizing, set boundaries, it's a great first step.
- Kids grow up. Enjoy them now.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way, I am getting better and better.
- Today I will not judge others.
- Today I will be a friend to someone who needs one.
- Today I will sort out my priorities by setting boundaries in my work, social, and personal life.
There's an old poem, I don't know who wrote it, which says:
Think most where man's fortune begins and where it ends
And think mine was that I had such friends
Nobody does it alone. You and I are no exception. You have a friend who needs your help. You know who it is. Pick up the phone and call this person. Listen to them. Build them up. Be there for them. You will be doing more for yourself in the process than you can imagine.
Make it your best day yet. God bless you.
Adolfo
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Friday, June 11, 2010
Day # 16 - So what's next. The pursuit of perfection.
So the baton was passed and I am no longer chairman of the Dania Beach Chamber of Commerce. I remain on the board as past chair and the new chair is a good friend and I know she will do a better job than I did. But now, I need to find something to do with my time.
I enjoyed the challenges of the chamber, though having the amazing staff and board I was blessed with made it so nothing was insurmountable and we were able to deal with whatever came our way quite easily. Although I am still going to be a part of the organization, I will miss being the chairman.
There. I'm over it. No sense dwelling on the past.
I mean that. There is no sense dwelling in the past. You can't unscramble eggs, so you have to learn from the past and move on to the future. Learn from it, but don't let longing for the glory days or brooding over the injustices of yesterday keep you from focusing on the future.
We've all been hurt, and we have all done our share of hurting. I think I've always been a good person, but I am not about to say that I never hurt anyone. That would be a lie. It doesn't make me evil, it makes me human. And like all humans, I am a long way from perfect. Perfection is to be pursued, even if we know it can never be attained. It is the pursuit that makes us better.
If you know you have done wrong, make it right. If you have stolen, find a way to return what is not yours. If you've lied, tell the truth. If you have been unkind, be kind. It's not rocket science. Do the right thing every time and each time you do, you are taking a small step toward being the perfect person you will never be. Each of those steps is bringing you closer to God.
Yesterday's breakfast featured a local meteorologist. This being South Florida, the subject of his presentation was, of course, hurricane season. I tried not to listen, although he was well-informed, interesting speaker, because I expected it would all be doom and gloom. It wasn't as bad as I feared. He even seemed to hint that predictions are just educated guesses and shouldn't be given so much weight.
He quoted several predictions including the Federal Government's, which was 14-23 storms, with 8-14 hurricanes. The government managed to be the highest and the lowest at the same time. They always want to have it both ways, he told us.
What the government really wants is to terrify us. It's how they obtain, grow, and hold onto their power. They govern through fear. You cannot pursue your personal perfection if you are afraid. Hurricanes are beyond our control. (Actually, George W. Bush can control them, as he did with Katrina - Barack Obama, on the other hand can't plug an oil leak.) Sorry, I had to do it. This is me exorcising the demons of newscasts past.
Lessons:
- Surround yourself with the right people and nothing is impossible.
- The story of your life is a work in progress. You are the author.
- The end of a good thing is an opportunity to start something better.
- Don't listen to the bad news and scary predictions. Be informed, not obsessed.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way, I am getting better and better.
- I will surround myself with positive people. I will not be dragged down by naysayers.
- Negative words bounce off of me.
- Bad news and dire predictions do not affect me, because I am in control of my life.
- I will pursue my own perfection. I know the goal is unattainable, but that's the point.
- Today, I am going to let go of the past. I am going to focus on the future. I am the author of my life's story. I will write my own happy ending.
I am sharing declarations every day. Pick and choose any that apply to your situation, or, better yet, make your own declarations. While today may be the day the Lord has made, it is yours to do with as you see fit. Make it count. Today will never happen again.
Make it your best day yet. God Bless You.
Adolfo
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I enjoyed the challenges of the chamber, though having the amazing staff and board I was blessed with made it so nothing was insurmountable and we were able to deal with whatever came our way quite easily. Although I am still going to be a part of the organization, I will miss being the chairman.
There. I'm over it. No sense dwelling on the past.
I mean that. There is no sense dwelling in the past. You can't unscramble eggs, so you have to learn from the past and move on to the future. Learn from it, but don't let longing for the glory days or brooding over the injustices of yesterday keep you from focusing on the future.
We've all been hurt, and we have all done our share of hurting. I think I've always been a good person, but I am not about to say that I never hurt anyone. That would be a lie. It doesn't make me evil, it makes me human. And like all humans, I am a long way from perfect. Perfection is to be pursued, even if we know it can never be attained. It is the pursuit that makes us better.
If you know you have done wrong, make it right. If you have stolen, find a way to return what is not yours. If you've lied, tell the truth. If you have been unkind, be kind. It's not rocket science. Do the right thing every time and each time you do, you are taking a small step toward being the perfect person you will never be. Each of those steps is bringing you closer to God.
Yesterday's breakfast featured a local meteorologist. This being South Florida, the subject of his presentation was, of course, hurricane season. I tried not to listen, although he was well-informed, interesting speaker, because I expected it would all be doom and gloom. It wasn't as bad as I feared. He even seemed to hint that predictions are just educated guesses and shouldn't be given so much weight.
He quoted several predictions including the Federal Government's, which was 14-23 storms, with 8-14 hurricanes. The government managed to be the highest and the lowest at the same time. They always want to have it both ways, he told us.
What the government really wants is to terrify us. It's how they obtain, grow, and hold onto their power. They govern through fear. You cannot pursue your personal perfection if you are afraid. Hurricanes are beyond our control. (Actually, George W. Bush can control them, as he did with Katrina - Barack Obama, on the other hand can't plug an oil leak.) Sorry, I had to do it. This is me exorcising the demons of newscasts past.
Lessons:
- Surround yourself with the right people and nothing is impossible.
- The story of your life is a work in progress. You are the author.
- The end of a good thing is an opportunity to start something better.
- Don't listen to the bad news and scary predictions. Be informed, not obsessed.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way, I am getting better and better.
- I will surround myself with positive people. I will not be dragged down by naysayers.
- Negative words bounce off of me.
- Bad news and dire predictions do not affect me, because I am in control of my life.
- I will pursue my own perfection. I know the goal is unattainable, but that's the point.
- Today, I am going to let go of the past. I am going to focus on the future. I am the author of my life's story. I will write my own happy ending.
I am sharing declarations every day. Pick and choose any that apply to your situation, or, better yet, make your own declarations. While today may be the day the Lord has made, it is yours to do with as you see fit. Make it count. Today will never happen again.
Make it your best day yet. God Bless You.
Adolfo
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Thursday, June 10, 2010
Day # 15 - It's hard to say so long. Call me crazy.
So I spent a little time yesterday working on my farewell speech. Today (Thursday June 10) is my last day as chairman of the Dania Beach Chamber of Commerce. We're hosting our quarterly breakfast this morning and swearing in our new board of directors. I will no longer be chair, but I will assume the post of immediate past chair. It's not as bureaucratic as it sounds. It's a great organization and I will miss being at the top of it.
As I prepared my comments, I had to make decisions that, to a more emotionally mature person, should have been easy. I had to decide whether to take this opportunity to strike back at the people who have criticized, ambushed, bad-mouthed, or sabotaged me throughout my term. Sadly, I haven't always been a high-road kind of guy.
Dania Beach City Commissioner Walter Duke likes to say the four rules of public speaking are: Speak from the heart, be brief, be brief, sit down. It's the first rule I'm struggling with. I agree that one should always speak from the heart, but I know that hearts are not always filled with love. Sometimes there are other feelings in there. Sometimes, there is pain.
So, do I take the high road? Or do I come down on them with the fury of a thousand suns?
Neither.
Living well is the best revenge. For every criticism, every personal attack, I have received countless compliments, pats on the back, and congratulations. I can rightfully be proud of the work my board, staff, and I have done.
***
So, as a result of the 365 without news project, I am spending less time in front of the TV. Yesterday, there was about five minutes spent watching a documentary about tribes in New Guinea. I think it was New Guinea. Either way, I fell asleep as soon as I turned the TV on, so I have no idea what I watched. If I learned anything, it was through osmosis.
What I can say is, you should try it. My sister told me I would eventually give up all TV if I quit news. I am not ready to say I am never going to watch TV again, but I can say that I found more time to read (more on that in a minute) and to take care of some personal business. And most importantly, time with the family.
Most of what I used to watch on TV is negative. Aside from news, which is designed to make people depressed or angry or suicidal -or so it seems- most of the shows on TV are about conflict. Now, you're probably saying life is about conflict. I disagree, but I also thought TV was supposed to be an escape, why do I want to sit there watching people pretending to have more problems than me. Why do I want to watch people getting divorced when I have a marriage I want to see thrive. I don't believe it is inevitable that my kids will give me problems in their teen years. I don't believe that global warming will eventually destroy the planet. I don't want to hear about the oil spills, and the terrorists, and the rapists. I don't want to hear about people walking into restaurants and shooting innocent people. I don't want to watch the "real" housewives of wherever bad-mouthing one another and then air-kissing at cocktail parties. By the way, they all have jobs, they are not housewives.
People would call me crazy for giving up on TV. That's like calling someone crazy for giving up heroin.
I read, "The Greatest Salesman in the World" a couple of years ago. I hadn't read it since and decided to read it yesterday. It's funny how I had to tell myself to ignore the book's obvious flaws in order to get something out of the time investment I was making. The book is poorly written - of this there is no doubt. But the message is a good one. And these days, I am all about the message. I read one thing in there that applies to the situation with my detractors at the chamber:
"Always will I dig for reasons to applaud. Never will I scratch for reasons to gossip."
In other words: If you have nothing nice to say about a person, keep looking until you find it. Digging versus scratching. It's much more work, you get your hands dirty, but your conscience remains clean. What a great line.
Lessons:
- Time spent preparing is time spent reflecting.
- Emotional maturity equals happiness.
- Take the high road. You'll be less likely to run into people who want to hurt you.
- Try a day without TV, you will suddenly have time and a better outlook. (Radio, too!)
Declarations:
Day by day, in every way, I am getting better and better.
Today, I will take the high road.
I will persist until I succeed.
I will laugh at the world.
The last two are from "The Greatest Salesman in the World." Use them. Say them out loud. Repeat them. You are getting better. You are becoming the person you were meant to be. I believe in you. Now it's time you believed in yourself.
God bless you,
Adolfo
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As I prepared my comments, I had to make decisions that, to a more emotionally mature person, should have been easy. I had to decide whether to take this opportunity to strike back at the people who have criticized, ambushed, bad-mouthed, or sabotaged me throughout my term. Sadly, I haven't always been a high-road kind of guy.
Dania Beach City Commissioner Walter Duke likes to say the four rules of public speaking are: Speak from the heart, be brief, be brief, sit down. It's the first rule I'm struggling with. I agree that one should always speak from the heart, but I know that hearts are not always filled with love. Sometimes there are other feelings in there. Sometimes, there is pain.
So, do I take the high road? Or do I come down on them with the fury of a thousand suns?
Neither.
Living well is the best revenge. For every criticism, every personal attack, I have received countless compliments, pats on the back, and congratulations. I can rightfully be proud of the work my board, staff, and I have done.
***
So, as a result of the 365 without news project, I am spending less time in front of the TV. Yesterday, there was about five minutes spent watching a documentary about tribes in New Guinea. I think it was New Guinea. Either way, I fell asleep as soon as I turned the TV on, so I have no idea what I watched. If I learned anything, it was through osmosis.
What I can say is, you should try it. My sister told me I would eventually give up all TV if I quit news. I am not ready to say I am never going to watch TV again, but I can say that I found more time to read (more on that in a minute) and to take care of some personal business. And most importantly, time with the family.
Most of what I used to watch on TV is negative. Aside from news, which is designed to make people depressed or angry or suicidal -or so it seems- most of the shows on TV are about conflict. Now, you're probably saying life is about conflict. I disagree, but I also thought TV was supposed to be an escape, why do I want to sit there watching people pretending to have more problems than me. Why do I want to watch people getting divorced when I have a marriage I want to see thrive. I don't believe it is inevitable that my kids will give me problems in their teen years. I don't believe that global warming will eventually destroy the planet. I don't want to hear about the oil spills, and the terrorists, and the rapists. I don't want to hear about people walking into restaurants and shooting innocent people. I don't want to watch the "real" housewives of wherever bad-mouthing one another and then air-kissing at cocktail parties. By the way, they all have jobs, they are not housewives.
People would call me crazy for giving up on TV. That's like calling someone crazy for giving up heroin.
I read, "The Greatest Salesman in the World" a couple of years ago. I hadn't read it since and decided to read it yesterday. It's funny how I had to tell myself to ignore the book's obvious flaws in order to get something out of the time investment I was making. The book is poorly written - of this there is no doubt. But the message is a good one. And these days, I am all about the message. I read one thing in there that applies to the situation with my detractors at the chamber:
"Always will I dig for reasons to applaud. Never will I scratch for reasons to gossip."
In other words: If you have nothing nice to say about a person, keep looking until you find it. Digging versus scratching. It's much more work, you get your hands dirty, but your conscience remains clean. What a great line.
Lessons:
- Time spent preparing is time spent reflecting.
- Emotional maturity equals happiness.
- Take the high road. You'll be less likely to run into people who want to hurt you.
- Try a day without TV, you will suddenly have time and a better outlook. (Radio, too!)
Declarations:
Day by day, in every way, I am getting better and better.
Today, I will take the high road.
I will persist until I succeed.
I will laugh at the world.
The last two are from "The Greatest Salesman in the World." Use them. Say them out loud. Repeat them. You are getting better. You are becoming the person you were meant to be. I believe in you. Now it's time you believed in yourself.
God bless you,
Adolfo
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Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Day # 14 - Reading the signs. What about half-foods?
God has a way of communicating with us that is subtle and can often be missed. I believe in my quest to become a better person and become God-actualized, I am learning to read the signs, but I know I have a way to go.
I remember speaking to a friend of mine when we were teenagers and having this endless conversation about destiny. When I say endless, I am fairly sure this conversation is still going on in some other dimension of the multiverse. The question was whether we can truly change our destiny, or whether we are (ahem) destined to land at a certain spot and nothing we do between here are there can change the final destination.
I think the preceding paragraph illustrates why the conversation was endless, or at least felt that way.
I think everyone has a destiny, sort of. I believe in self-determination and free will. And while I believe God has a hand in everything we experience, He respects our free will and allows us to make our own mistakes and suffer the consequences. Oh, and if we screw up our lives, it's our fault. There is no blaming it on fate, or God, or bad luck. If there is indeed such a thing as Destiny, it is yours to command. Think of it as a ship, and you are the captain. Sometimes the seas will be rough, sometimes they will be calm, but follow your compass and you will arrive where you are meant to arrive.
Which of course leaves us with the question: How do we know where we're going? And the answer is beautiful and elegant in its simplicity and it's the only answer that could satisfy us: We don't.
I am learning to let go of the worry, I am learning to leave things I can't control in God's hands. I am learning to use The Force, Luke! Of course, I don't intend to do nothing, I will continue to work as hard as I ever have, if not harder. I will continue to better myself and work on my personal development. School ends, but education goes on. What are you doing to improve yourself today?
Abby stayed home yesterday. I managed to get her out of bed and we went to Whole Foods to walk around. A lot of healthy people there, which isn't surprising. A lot of not so healthy people there (like me) which is also not surprising, but encouraging. If you haven't been there, it's a supermarket with more organic and healthy or vegan choices than your local market. I was inspired by being there. Seeing the dedicated makes me want to be dedicated.
Baby steps. I haven't mastered my mind yet. Throwing the body into the mix would just cause confusion, so I will continue my early-morning walks with Baxter, start going to the YMCA again, and see where it goes from there. I will make you one promise right now: I will not, under any circumstances, eat tofu. (The exception being someone offering me insane amounts of money, in which case, serve it up!)
Today's lessons:
- Learn to listen to God. If you don't want to call the power in the universe God, fine. Listen to the still, small voice. It will never steer you wrong.
- Accept that you do control your destiny. We are not pawns in a cosmic chess match, we are not toys or characters in a dream or any other such nonsense. We are beings of light (as Yoda said) and we decide the direction of our lives. You determine if your life will be good or bad. Start with today. Say to yourself: "Today will be a great day." Keep repeating it, even if you don't believe it at first. It's working, trust me.
- Baby steps. Rome wasn't built in a day and neither were your bad habits. If you are willing to change, things will change for you. But you have to make the first move.
Don't forget to make your declarations:
Day by day, in every way, I am getting better and better.
I have favor in the eyes of people I meet today.
I am in control of my life.
I am in control of my emotions.
I am in control of my destiny.
Make it the best day ever!
- Adolfo
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I remember speaking to a friend of mine when we were teenagers and having this endless conversation about destiny. When I say endless, I am fairly sure this conversation is still going on in some other dimension of the multiverse. The question was whether we can truly change our destiny, or whether we are (ahem) destined to land at a certain spot and nothing we do between here are there can change the final destination.
I think the preceding paragraph illustrates why the conversation was endless, or at least felt that way.
I think everyone has a destiny, sort of. I believe in self-determination and free will. And while I believe God has a hand in everything we experience, He respects our free will and allows us to make our own mistakes and suffer the consequences. Oh, and if we screw up our lives, it's our fault. There is no blaming it on fate, or God, or bad luck. If there is indeed such a thing as Destiny, it is yours to command. Think of it as a ship, and you are the captain. Sometimes the seas will be rough, sometimes they will be calm, but follow your compass and you will arrive where you are meant to arrive.
Which of course leaves us with the question: How do we know where we're going? And the answer is beautiful and elegant in its simplicity and it's the only answer that could satisfy us: We don't.
I am learning to let go of the worry, I am learning to leave things I can't control in God's hands. I am learning to use The Force, Luke! Of course, I don't intend to do nothing, I will continue to work as hard as I ever have, if not harder. I will continue to better myself and work on my personal development. School ends, but education goes on. What are you doing to improve yourself today?
Abby stayed home yesterday. I managed to get her out of bed and we went to Whole Foods to walk around. A lot of healthy people there, which isn't surprising. A lot of not so healthy people there (like me) which is also not surprising, but encouraging. If you haven't been there, it's a supermarket with more organic and healthy or vegan choices than your local market. I was inspired by being there. Seeing the dedicated makes me want to be dedicated.
Baby steps. I haven't mastered my mind yet. Throwing the body into the mix would just cause confusion, so I will continue my early-morning walks with Baxter, start going to the YMCA again, and see where it goes from there. I will make you one promise right now: I will not, under any circumstances, eat tofu. (The exception being someone offering me insane amounts of money, in which case, serve it up!)
Today's lessons:
- Learn to listen to God. If you don't want to call the power in the universe God, fine. Listen to the still, small voice. It will never steer you wrong.
- Accept that you do control your destiny. We are not pawns in a cosmic chess match, we are not toys or characters in a dream or any other such nonsense. We are beings of light (as Yoda said) and we decide the direction of our lives. You determine if your life will be good or bad. Start with today. Say to yourself: "Today will be a great day." Keep repeating it, even if you don't believe it at first. It's working, trust me.
- Baby steps. Rome wasn't built in a day and neither were your bad habits. If you are willing to change, things will change for you. But you have to make the first move.
Don't forget to make your declarations:
Day by day, in every way, I am getting better and better.
I have favor in the eyes of people I meet today.
I am in control of my life.
I am in control of my emotions.
I am in control of my destiny.
Make it the best day ever!
- Adolfo
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Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Day # 13 - I do declare, With patience, grass becomes milk. The bright side.
Day 13 was relatively uneventful. I am still reading the 7 habits and I don't know why, but it's slow-going for me with that book. I am on the second chapter, and I am absorbing lessons, not just reading. Maybe that's why. The book is dense with information and teachings. Maybe I should just stop with the speed-reading thing.
Speaking of which: When I was in grade school, my parents transferred me to a school that our church had started. I don't know much of what I did there, but I remember I learned to play volleyball (and why it's important to keep your elbows close to each other) and I remember they had machines that were designed to help you read faster. I mean competitive speed reading fast. Congress should have to go through this course so maybe they'll read bills before destroying our country. (Please forgive me for that. It's residual bitterness. Nearly two weeks without news and I have not completely exorcised the demons - I don't need to watch a rattlesnake everyday to know it is a dangerous animal. Sorry if I've offended any rattlesnakes.)
I don't remember all that I was taught in the speed reading class, but I can confidently say that if the emphasis was on speed, it could not have been on learning.
My son, A.J. came by last night and had dinner with us. After the girls left the table, we had one of our old chats (which is mostly me begging him to learn from my mistakes.) He listened, as he always has, and he filled me in on school, life, etc. For a while there, I felt almost like a man in full. I know he will surpass me one day. I look forward to eating his dust.
His girlfriend, Ella, came by, and I noticed the brake lights on her car weren't turning off. I offered to go outside and try to fix it. Once I figured out the problem, I went in to grab some tools, went back out and discovered I'd locked the keys in the car. AAA showed up an hour later, let me into the car, and I fixed the problem. (I think.) Oh, well. I got my boy to stay for an extra hour or so.
I also began declarations. I want to share some with you.
Yesterday, I shared:
Day by day, in every way, I am getting better and better.
Also:
(For Guidance)
I am divinely sensitive to my intuitive leads, and give instant obedience to Thy will.
(For Health)
Divine Love floods my consciousness with health, and every cell in my body is filled with light.
These are samples, guides, if you will. Declare what you want, live a life worthy of receiving it, and it will be yours. But you must declare it everyday. The more your subconscious hears a thing, the more it becomes a part of your DNA.
Today's lessons:
- Speed does not equal efficiency. If I tear through a book in record time, but I don't learn anything, all I've done is wasted my time. I'd rather take twice as long and come out better on the other end. Remember, there is no shortcut to anyplace worth going.
- You have to dig a long time before you find oil.
- Your children will have to suffer, you can't (and shouldn't try to) stop that. But, if they can learn from your mistakes, they will be better for it.
- Some say no good deed goes unpunished. I say no good deed goes unrewarded. If I didn't lock the keys in Ella's car, they wouldn't have stayed the extra hour.
- Declare it with your voice, believe it in your heart. You will have it in your life. Remember this goes both ways. Whether you are positive or negative, what you say becomes the law of your life.
Have a wonderful day. In fact, I declare that you will have a wonderful, productive day, and that you are getting better and better in every way.
God bless you,
Adolfo
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Speaking of which: When I was in grade school, my parents transferred me to a school that our church had started. I don't know much of what I did there, but I remember I learned to play volleyball (and why it's important to keep your elbows close to each other) and I remember they had machines that were designed to help you read faster. I mean competitive speed reading fast. Congress should have to go through this course so maybe they'll read bills before destroying our country. (Please forgive me for that. It's residual bitterness. Nearly two weeks without news and I have not completely exorcised the demons - I don't need to watch a rattlesnake everyday to know it is a dangerous animal. Sorry if I've offended any rattlesnakes.)
I don't remember all that I was taught in the speed reading class, but I can confidently say that if the emphasis was on speed, it could not have been on learning.
My son, A.J. came by last night and had dinner with us. After the girls left the table, we had one of our old chats (which is mostly me begging him to learn from my mistakes.) He listened, as he always has, and he filled me in on school, life, etc. For a while there, I felt almost like a man in full. I know he will surpass me one day. I look forward to eating his dust.
His girlfriend, Ella, came by, and I noticed the brake lights on her car weren't turning off. I offered to go outside and try to fix it. Once I figured out the problem, I went in to grab some tools, went back out and discovered I'd locked the keys in the car. AAA showed up an hour later, let me into the car, and I fixed the problem. (I think.) Oh, well. I got my boy to stay for an extra hour or so.
I also began declarations. I want to share some with you.
Yesterday, I shared:
Day by day, in every way, I am getting better and better.
Also:
(For Guidance)
I am divinely sensitive to my intuitive leads, and give instant obedience to Thy will.
(For Health)
Divine Love floods my consciousness with health, and every cell in my body is filled with light.
These are samples, guides, if you will. Declare what you want, live a life worthy of receiving it, and it will be yours. But you must declare it everyday. The more your subconscious hears a thing, the more it becomes a part of your DNA.
Today's lessons:
- Speed does not equal efficiency. If I tear through a book in record time, but I don't learn anything, all I've done is wasted my time. I'd rather take twice as long and come out better on the other end. Remember, there is no shortcut to anyplace worth going.
- You have to dig a long time before you find oil.
- Your children will have to suffer, you can't (and shouldn't try to) stop that. But, if they can learn from your mistakes, they will be better for it.
- Some say no good deed goes unpunished. I say no good deed goes unrewarded. If I didn't lock the keys in Ella's car, they wouldn't have stayed the extra hour.
- Declare it with your voice, believe it in your heart. You will have it in your life. Remember this goes both ways. Whether you are positive or negative, what you say becomes the law of your life.
Have a wonderful day. In fact, I declare that you will have a wonderful, productive day, and that you are getting better and better in every way.
God bless you,
Adolfo
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Follow me on Twitter
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Monday, June 7, 2010
Day # 12 - This was supposed to be tough; lessons on leadership; day 4 within day 12
I set out to spend an entire year without reading, watching, or otherwise absorbing news. So far, no sweat. I'm moving away from all TV, which is a wonderful thing. Now, I have not become fanatical about it. If I walk into someone's house and the TV is on, I won't ask them to turn it off, I will choose to focus my attention elsewhere. Now, I'm not being cocky. 12 days without news may not sound like a difficult thing, but substitute whatever takes up most of your personal time. (Not including work, family, school, etc.) What do you do on a daily basis that is not benefiting you or your family. Is it hanging out at a bar? Is it an overwhelming obsession with sports? I don't know why I am prompting you. You know where your priorities lie. You may be on the right track. If you're not, I invite you to eliminate the time-leech in your life and do something better. Rise higher.
This experiment is difficult from the standpoint of having to shift priorities, of having to fill time that didn't used to exist. Fortunately, I was already committed to personal development, spending an hour or more a day on it before this project began. Now, I am just accelerating my progress.
This weekend I read a book called: "The Game of Life - and How to Play It." There was nothing new in the book, probably because it was written in 1925. But while the language was lacking the contemporary feel we're used to, the message was timeless. The program outlined in the book is heavy on declarations and big on the belief that what is yours cannot be taken away and what is not rightfully yours cannot become so without hurting someone in the process.
I am a believer in declarations. As a Christian, I believe that you should profess your faith. As a student of human behavior, I believe that what you say and hear determine what kind of day, career, relationships, and life you will ultimately have. Garbage in - garbage out. You cannot achieve what you do not believe. Or, as Donald Trump said, "If you're going to be thinking anyway, you might as well think big!"
The pastor Joel Osteen from Houston, Texas, is also a believer in declarations. You know Joel. He's the one they call the "Smiling Pastor." His message is one of positive faith, confidence, and expectancy.
These are biblical principals, which tells you two things: They are not a new fad, and they were written by God, so they work.
After the death of John Wooden, I wrote that the world had lost a giant. Giants are leaders and leadership is sorely lacking in this country. From elected officials who attack private citizens to a President and congress who seem completely unwilling to accept responsibility for anything that is not a success (with the current jokers, that means no responsibility at all.) *I haven't kept up with the news so if all that's changed and these losers have decided to man up, please let me know.
I think about leadership. I think about it a lot. I have been told on several occasions that I am a leader. That may or may not be. Maybe there is a diamond somewhere in there. I know that I want to be a leader and I am working toward that goal. I have some lessons on leadership to share with you.
Part of this quest of mine has been to become a better person. This is not, strictly speaking, about career advancement, money, prestige. This is about potential. Lots of wasted potential in a graveyard. When I look back at my life, many decades from now, I don't want to be the boulder at the top of the mountain, I want to have rolled down to the valley, expending all my energy... all my potential. I have not lost my temper in four days. That sounds frivolous, but it's true. I am also learning patience. I wish I had learned these things when I was 20 years old. (Three years ago... he said, tongue in cheek) But regrets and living in the past are a sure way to screw up your future. Let the next time you look at the mistakes of your past be the last time. Take what you learned from the experience and apply it to a brighter future.
Lessons:
- Nothing is as difficult if you have the right attitude.
- Success may be as simple as getting your priorities in order.
- Declare it with your voice, believe it with your heart, see it in your mind. This works both ways. If all you see are negatives, you are going to find them soon enough. Train your brain. You attract what you think about.
- To lead, you have to have been there. You must walk the talk.
- Leaders are in the trenches, not back at headquarters.
- Leaders share success, and take responsibility for failure.
- Leaders point only to lead the way.
I'm going to leave you with the declaration that Napoleon Hill used in his masterpiece, "Think and Grow Rich." You should say this out loud, daily, and make it part of your routine. Also, I would recommend reading "Think and Grow Rich," as part of your personal development.
The declaration is:
Day by day, in every way, I am getting better and better.
Say it out loud. Say it in the car. Say it in the shower. Even if you don't believe it or you feel silly, just do it. If you keep saying it, you will, soon enough, believe it.
Make it a great day. God bless you.
Adolfo
Start building your Success Library!
Follow me on Twitter
Friend me on Facebook
This experiment is difficult from the standpoint of having to shift priorities, of having to fill time that didn't used to exist. Fortunately, I was already committed to personal development, spending an hour or more a day on it before this project began. Now, I am just accelerating my progress.
This weekend I read a book called: "The Game of Life - and How to Play It." There was nothing new in the book, probably because it was written in 1925. But while the language was lacking the contemporary feel we're used to, the message was timeless. The program outlined in the book is heavy on declarations and big on the belief that what is yours cannot be taken away and what is not rightfully yours cannot become so without hurting someone in the process.
I am a believer in declarations. As a Christian, I believe that you should profess your faith. As a student of human behavior, I believe that what you say and hear determine what kind of day, career, relationships, and life you will ultimately have. Garbage in - garbage out. You cannot achieve what you do not believe. Or, as Donald Trump said, "If you're going to be thinking anyway, you might as well think big!"
The pastor Joel Osteen from Houston, Texas, is also a believer in declarations. You know Joel. He's the one they call the "Smiling Pastor." His message is one of positive faith, confidence, and expectancy.
These are biblical principals, which tells you two things: They are not a new fad, and they were written by God, so they work.
After the death of John Wooden, I wrote that the world had lost a giant. Giants are leaders and leadership is sorely lacking in this country. From elected officials who attack private citizens to a President and congress who seem completely unwilling to accept responsibility for anything that is not a success (with the current jokers, that means no responsibility at all.) *I haven't kept up with the news so if all that's changed and these losers have decided to man up, please let me know.
I think about leadership. I think about it a lot. I have been told on several occasions that I am a leader. That may or may not be. Maybe there is a diamond somewhere in there. I know that I want to be a leader and I am working toward that goal. I have some lessons on leadership to share with you.
Part of this quest of mine has been to become a better person. This is not, strictly speaking, about career advancement, money, prestige. This is about potential. Lots of wasted potential in a graveyard. When I look back at my life, many decades from now, I don't want to be the boulder at the top of the mountain, I want to have rolled down to the valley, expending all my energy... all my potential. I have not lost my temper in four days. That sounds frivolous, but it's true. I am also learning patience. I wish I had learned these things when I was 20 years old. (Three years ago... he said, tongue in cheek) But regrets and living in the past are a sure way to screw up your future. Let the next time you look at the mistakes of your past be the last time. Take what you learned from the experience and apply it to a brighter future.
Lessons:
- Nothing is as difficult if you have the right attitude.
- Success may be as simple as getting your priorities in order.
- Declare it with your voice, believe it with your heart, see it in your mind. This works both ways. If all you see are negatives, you are going to find them soon enough. Train your brain. You attract what you think about.
- To lead, you have to have been there. You must walk the talk.
- Leaders are in the trenches, not back at headquarters.
- Leaders share success, and take responsibility for failure.
- Leaders point only to lead the way.
I'm going to leave you with the declaration that Napoleon Hill used in his masterpiece, "Think and Grow Rich." You should say this out loud, daily, and make it part of your routine. Also, I would recommend reading "Think and Grow Rich," as part of your personal development.
The declaration is:
Day by day, in every way, I am getting better and better.
Say it out loud. Say it in the car. Say it in the shower. Even if you don't believe it or you feel silly, just do it. If you keep saying it, you will, soon enough, believe it.
Make it a great day. God bless you.
Adolfo
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Sunday, June 6, 2010
Day # 11 - The Tao Te Broken Lawn Equipment - Goodbye, Coach Wooden
Great thing about Florida. In the winter months, you mow your lawn once a month and that's really just so your lawnmower doesn't completely seize up or rust. In the summer, you mow your lawn every fifteen minutes. So it only makes sense that if any of your lawn equipment is going to that great green field in the sky it's going to happen during the busy season.
Yesterday, it was the blower. You know, that noisy machine that cleans off your driveway after you cut the lawn. Man, I tried everything, but it would not behave. I managed to get most of the work done by playing with the choke levers. At one point, I was ready to throw it in front of the next car that came speeding by, but thought better of it. I am in control. My species created lawn equipment. I am the master in this situation. I kept fiddling with it and finished about half of the work before breaking out the rake and the push broom. My dad and I spent a while trying to fix it until I decided it was too hot and too pointless to continue.
On a more serious note: The world lost one of its giants on Friday. Coach John Wooden, who coached the UCLA men's basketball team to a million victories passed away at age 99. I never watched him coach a game. In all honesty, I am not a big fan of college basketball. I am, however, a fan of greatness, and Coach Wooden was greatness personified.
I have his Pyramid of success on the wall next to my desk and every now and then I peek at it. Coach Wooden married his high-school sweetheart and when she passed away, he visited her every month and wrote her a love letter every month on the anniversary of her passing, and placed them on her pillow. As a widower, he was a better husband than most men are as newlyweds.
He demanded excellence from his players and it is no coincidence that no one has been able to match his accomplishments on the court. I mean, ten championships? That's nothing to sneeze at. But his accomplishments as a human being are what make him a giant among men.
Lessons:
Let it go. Know when something has reached its useful life. Have the emotional maturity to say, "Oh well, this is as far as I can go with this," and move on.
Don't lose your temper. You destroy everything in your immediate perimeter. Tantrums are emotional napalm: indiscriminately destructive.
John Wooden's Seven Point Creed:
1. Be true to yourself.
2. Make each day your masterpiece.
3. Help others.
4. Drink deeply from good books, especially the bible.
5. Make friendship a fine art.
6. Build a shelter against a rainy day.
7. Pray for guidance and give thanks for your blessings every day.
John Wooden's Pyramid of success. I recommend printing it and keeping a copy at your desk.
http://www.coachwooden.com/pyramidpdf.pdf
That's all, Folks. Make today your best day yet. Repeat seven times for your best week yet. Multiply by 52 for your best year yet, and do it all over again for a great life.
- Adolfo
Start building your Success Library!
Follow me on Twitter
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Yesterday, it was the blower. You know, that noisy machine that cleans off your driveway after you cut the lawn. Man, I tried everything, but it would not behave. I managed to get most of the work done by playing with the choke levers. At one point, I was ready to throw it in front of the next car that came speeding by, but thought better of it. I am in control. My species created lawn equipment. I am the master in this situation. I kept fiddling with it and finished about half of the work before breaking out the rake and the push broom. My dad and I spent a while trying to fix it until I decided it was too hot and too pointless to continue.
On a more serious note: The world lost one of its giants on Friday. Coach John Wooden, who coached the UCLA men's basketball team to a million victories passed away at age 99. I never watched him coach a game. In all honesty, I am not a big fan of college basketball. I am, however, a fan of greatness, and Coach Wooden was greatness personified.
I have his Pyramid of success on the wall next to my desk and every now and then I peek at it. Coach Wooden married his high-school sweetheart and when she passed away, he visited her every month and wrote her a love letter every month on the anniversary of her passing, and placed them on her pillow. As a widower, he was a better husband than most men are as newlyweds.
He demanded excellence from his players and it is no coincidence that no one has been able to match his accomplishments on the court. I mean, ten championships? That's nothing to sneeze at. But his accomplishments as a human being are what make him a giant among men.
Lessons:
Let it go. Know when something has reached its useful life. Have the emotional maturity to say, "Oh well, this is as far as I can go with this," and move on.
Don't lose your temper. You destroy everything in your immediate perimeter. Tantrums are emotional napalm: indiscriminately destructive.
John Wooden's Seven Point Creed:
1. Be true to yourself.
2. Make each day your masterpiece.
3. Help others.
4. Drink deeply from good books, especially the bible.
5. Make friendship a fine art.
6. Build a shelter against a rainy day.
7. Pray for guidance and give thanks for your blessings every day.
John Wooden's Pyramid of success. I recommend printing it and keeping a copy at your desk.
http://www.coachwooden.com/pyramidpdf.pdf
That's all, Folks. Make today your best day yet. Repeat seven times for your best week yet. Multiply by 52 for your best year yet, and do it all over again for a great life.
- Adolfo
Start building your Success Library!
Follow me on Twitter
Friend me on Facebook
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