It's been over a month since I began this project. In that time, I have kicked one habit (news) and one addiction (caffeine.) I am more positive and as a result I find more doors opening. I am finding more opportunities. Happiness is following me around.
That's what concerns me. Maybe it's the old, dying, pessimistic side of my personality hanging on for dear life. Maybe it's my ADD, or my hyperactive imagination. Maybe I'm doubting myself because a lifetime of negative conditioning, by myself and by others, isn't easy to overcome. Whatever it is, I can't ignore it. This must be dealt with.
It's when we are doing well that the enemy strikes hardest. In the time since I started this project, I have been hit with a lot. None of it life-threatening, but very serious nonetheless. Things that could shake the foundations of your faith and make you wonder whether all this is worth it. I think it is worth it. Problems will always happen. Your mindset and attitude will not exempt you from life's inconveniences, but they will influence how you react to them.
I knew this project would be a huge commitment, but I promised myself I would see it through. All my life I have been too casual about making and keeping promises and this cannot be. If a man is only as good as his word then I've had more than my share of good and bad. Now it's time to be nothing but good.
It's time to take the "365 No News Project" to the next level. This project almost immediately stopped being about news and became about something bigger.
I am promising you, dear reader, that not only will I stay away from caffeine and negative influences, I plan to get in shape - physically, that is. I've lost five pounds in the last month just from giving up caffeine, soda, and fast food. The next step is exercise. I weighed myself Saturday and I was at 231 pounds. I promise I will be below 200 by the end of my 365 days.
What kind of example am I to my kids, how can I presume to give advice on how to live a better, more disciplined life if I can't control my body weight? What kind of hypocrite does that make me?
Lessons:
- Don't get cocky. It's when you are at your best that the enemy will try to bring you down.
- Self improvement does not happen solely in your mind and attitude. Your body should be in the best condition. Just as we don't want to invite negative, destructive elements into our mind, we don't want to invite them into our bodies.
- Self discipline is a lifestyle choice. It cannot be selectively applied.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better
- Starting today, I will be disciplined in my mind and in my body.
- Today and every day, I will make small positive changes in my life. These small changes will snowball into a new me.
The woods are lovely dark and deep
But I have promises to keep
And miles to go before I sleep
And miles to go before I sleep
- Robert Frost
I am a long way from finished. I don't expect to ever be complete. Forever shall I evolve for the complete man is finished.
Make it your best day ever. God bless you.
-Adolfo
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Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Day # 33 - Eliminating things (people) that take your peace
Rome wasn't built in a day - it wasn't burnt in a day either. Every day on this journey is a struggle in one form or another. I make progress, but sometimes I fall. Sometimes I let external factors steal my peace and my joy. The solution is simple: I get back up and keep pushing toward the goal.
I want to talk about peace and business. The two may seem pretty incompatible, but they are very connected. I am involved in several projects and to some tiny extent I am trying to build - or rebuild - something. It's a challenge under perfect circumstances. Impossible when the people with whom you are working, people who should share your goals, seem to sabotage you at every turn. It means you now have two mountains to move. It's enough to make you crazy.
I am experiencing this. The truth is, I always have. I have often found myself in situations where someone has their own agenda and is willing to destroy everything the rest of the team is working for in order to advance it. I have dealt with it in different ways, and I have found the most effective way to deal with it is to remove them from the situation. Always begin with a conversation - a warning if you will. If this doesn't work, bring out the scalpel. Most projects or businesses are stressful enough without keeping the problem children around.
When I was still chair of the chamber, I had two problem children on the board. I removed them both in different ways. One of them was so passive-aggressive and destructive that I called him in for "Come To Jesus" early one morning. He came in twenty minutes late and told me he had done so on purpose. At this point, I knew there was no saving the relationship, but I tried anyway. It ended with me standing over him, calling him every name in the book, and asking him outside.To this day, no one has heard me so much as whisper his name. It was unpleasant, but we got him off the board and we moved on.
The second problem child was handled differently - I isolated her to keep her from destroying morale. She was hyper-negative but hadn't really given me grounds to dismiss her. She did less and less, showed up less and less, and eventually her term ended and I made the decision not to give her another - although she had asked for one.
The goal each time was peace. You eliminate the cancer. You turn down the noise. You take out the trash. If you can't get rid of it, tune it out. Go on about your business and ask God to grant you the peace necessary to be an effective happy person. It can go any way you want it to: you can let them decide what your day will be like or you can chart your own course. It's a no brainer. But you will never chart your own course if you let these human icebergs sink your ship. Sometimes you're going to have to go around them, sometimes you'll run into them full speed, and sometimes you'll have to wait for sunshine and time to melt them out of your way.
Whatever course of action makes sense, do not let the iceberg win. If you do, you will never have peace. And then your ship is really sunk. I know we should try to love our fellow man, but sometimes they are not ready to be loved. Those are times when you have to look out for number one, and trust that this person will find their own iceberg. We are all deserving of love, but we have to be ready to accept it or it will slide off of us unnoticed.
Lessons:
- Peace is integral to success and happiness. It is also a choice.
- Problem people are a drag. Make an honest effort to change the situation. If it doesn't work, move on. Their time will come.
- Be honest. Make sure you're not the problem.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better
- I will find inner peace by eliminating outer distractions
- I will help people find the peace I desire for myself
Finding peace is like saving money: simple but not easy. Focus on your goal. Focus on creating peace for yourself and for those around you. When your thoughts turn angry, stop your mind by saying, "cancel" or "stop." It seems silly but it works. Soon, the negative, peace-stealing thoughts will be gone for good. Simple. Not easy.
Make it your best day yet. God bless you.
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I want to talk about peace and business. The two may seem pretty incompatible, but they are very connected. I am involved in several projects and to some tiny extent I am trying to build - or rebuild - something. It's a challenge under perfect circumstances. Impossible when the people with whom you are working, people who should share your goals, seem to sabotage you at every turn. It means you now have two mountains to move. It's enough to make you crazy.
I am experiencing this. The truth is, I always have. I have often found myself in situations where someone has their own agenda and is willing to destroy everything the rest of the team is working for in order to advance it. I have dealt with it in different ways, and I have found the most effective way to deal with it is to remove them from the situation. Always begin with a conversation - a warning if you will. If this doesn't work, bring out the scalpel. Most projects or businesses are stressful enough without keeping the problem children around.
When I was still chair of the chamber, I had two problem children on the board. I removed them both in different ways. One of them was so passive-aggressive and destructive that I called him in for "Come To Jesus" early one morning. He came in twenty minutes late and told me he had done so on purpose. At this point, I knew there was no saving the relationship, but I tried anyway. It ended with me standing over him, calling him every name in the book, and asking him outside.To this day, no one has heard me so much as whisper his name. It was unpleasant, but we got him off the board and we moved on.
The second problem child was handled differently - I isolated her to keep her from destroying morale. She was hyper-negative but hadn't really given me grounds to dismiss her. She did less and less, showed up less and less, and eventually her term ended and I made the decision not to give her another - although she had asked for one.
The goal each time was peace. You eliminate the cancer. You turn down the noise. You take out the trash. If you can't get rid of it, tune it out. Go on about your business and ask God to grant you the peace necessary to be an effective happy person. It can go any way you want it to: you can let them decide what your day will be like or you can chart your own course. It's a no brainer. But you will never chart your own course if you let these human icebergs sink your ship. Sometimes you're going to have to go around them, sometimes you'll run into them full speed, and sometimes you'll have to wait for sunshine and time to melt them out of your way.
Whatever course of action makes sense, do not let the iceberg win. If you do, you will never have peace. And then your ship is really sunk. I know we should try to love our fellow man, but sometimes they are not ready to be loved. Those are times when you have to look out for number one, and trust that this person will find their own iceberg. We are all deserving of love, but we have to be ready to accept it or it will slide off of us unnoticed.
Lessons:
- Peace is integral to success and happiness. It is also a choice.
- Problem people are a drag. Make an honest effort to change the situation. If it doesn't work, move on. Their time will come.
- Be honest. Make sure you're not the problem.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better
- I will find inner peace by eliminating outer distractions
- I will help people find the peace I desire for myself
Finding peace is like saving money: simple but not easy. Focus on your goal. Focus on creating peace for yourself and for those around you. When your thoughts turn angry, stop your mind by saying, "cancel" or "stop." It seems silly but it works. Soon, the negative, peace-stealing thoughts will be gone for good. Simple. Not easy.
Make it your best day yet. God bless you.
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Monday, June 28, 2010
Day # 32 - Blah blah blah flies with honey.
You know the old expression, "You catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar." It's never made sense to me. Why would you want to catch flies? Why waste honey? Why not swat flies instead?
I sat in a three hour meeting yesterday afternoon related to a business I am involved in. It was essentially supposed to be an intervention. A key member of the team is not pulling his weight and as a result, production is literally at a standstill. Time is money and I have an abundance of neither.
So, we sat down and the problem child joined us. The project leadertore into him. I saw a side of this person I've never seen before. I was initially a little put off by it, but after some reflection, I realize it probably had to be done.
While I think of my leadership style as collaborative and I lead by standing next to my team, not in front of or behind them, I know there are times when you need to shock the system. Sometimes, you just gotta get aggressive. This is contrary to my style, so whenever I've done it, I've been left feeling exhausted. Confrontation takes a lot out of you whether you know it or not.
I was reading "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff" and there's a chapter on how you can be calm and peaceful and still be an achiever. I, too, had bought into the idea that you have to be hyper-active, bossy, loud, pushy, and obnoxious to succeed. Because by nature I am none of those things, I always thought my chances for success were limited. I was wrong.
Success is not measured by how busy you are or how much time you sit at your desk or how loud you yell at your assistant (I'm looking for one, by the way.) Success is measured by how well you do your job and how well you feel about yourself. You could even say how others feel about you is a measure of success, but it's more a measure of popularity. Being liked is not the same as being effective.
While there is a time for bluntness, any time is a time for understanding. Now, just because you don't need to be blunt all the time, doesn't mean you should ever be anything other than direct. You don't owe anyone anything but the truth.
Yesterday's meeting became Good Cop / Bad Cop, with me as the good cop. It wasn't planned, it was my unwillingness to waste time on a Sunday when I wanted to be home with my family. I am not criticizing anyone. The bottom line is the bottom line and we accomplished our goal, so it's all good.
Lessons:
- Forget flies and honey. Be compassionate and patient. You will get more out of people.
- Don't be emotional. This is business, not personal. When it's personal, save the emotions for the end.
- QTIP - Quit Taking It Personally. My partner was taking the actions of the other partner personally. This only clouds your judgement.
- Direct, not blunt or rude.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better
- Today, I will stop taking things personally. I will be like a duck and let things slide off my back
- Today, I will be compassionate and patient. I will empathize, not sympathize.
- From now on, I will find my inner peace, knowing it will not hinder me, but improve my chances for success.
You will be faced with confrontational people all the time. You will meet people who are running around like headless chickens and don't have time to be polite because they have a job to do. You know the type: just looking at them makes you tired. Imagine how much energy they are wasting by drowning in a glass of water. Don't be like them.
Make it your best day ever. God bless you.
- Adolfo
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I sat in a three hour meeting yesterday afternoon related to a business I am involved in. It was essentially supposed to be an intervention. A key member of the team is not pulling his weight and as a result, production is literally at a standstill. Time is money and I have an abundance of neither.
So, we sat down and the problem child joined us. The project leadertore into him. I saw a side of this person I've never seen before. I was initially a little put off by it, but after some reflection, I realize it probably had to be done.
While I think of my leadership style as collaborative and I lead by standing next to my team, not in front of or behind them, I know there are times when you need to shock the system. Sometimes, you just gotta get aggressive. This is contrary to my style, so whenever I've done it, I've been left feeling exhausted. Confrontation takes a lot out of you whether you know it or not.
I was reading "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff" and there's a chapter on how you can be calm and peaceful and still be an achiever. I, too, had bought into the idea that you have to be hyper-active, bossy, loud, pushy, and obnoxious to succeed. Because by nature I am none of those things, I always thought my chances for success were limited. I was wrong.
Success is not measured by how busy you are or how much time you sit at your desk or how loud you yell at your assistant (I'm looking for one, by the way.) Success is measured by how well you do your job and how well you feel about yourself. You could even say how others feel about you is a measure of success, but it's more a measure of popularity. Being liked is not the same as being effective.
While there is a time for bluntness, any time is a time for understanding. Now, just because you don't need to be blunt all the time, doesn't mean you should ever be anything other than direct. You don't owe anyone anything but the truth.
Yesterday's meeting became Good Cop / Bad Cop, with me as the good cop. It wasn't planned, it was my unwillingness to waste time on a Sunday when I wanted to be home with my family. I am not criticizing anyone. The bottom line is the bottom line and we accomplished our goal, so it's all good.
Lessons:
- Forget flies and honey. Be compassionate and patient. You will get more out of people.
- Don't be emotional. This is business, not personal. When it's personal, save the emotions for the end.
- QTIP - Quit Taking It Personally. My partner was taking the actions of the other partner personally. This only clouds your judgement.
- Direct, not blunt or rude.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better
- Today, I will stop taking things personally. I will be like a duck and let things slide off my back
- Today, I will be compassionate and patient. I will empathize, not sympathize.
- From now on, I will find my inner peace, knowing it will not hinder me, but improve my chances for success.
You will be faced with confrontational people all the time. You will meet people who are running around like headless chickens and don't have time to be polite because they have a job to do. You know the type: just looking at them makes you tired. Imagine how much energy they are wasting by drowning in a glass of water. Don't be like them.
Make it your best day ever. God bless you.
- Adolfo
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Sunday, June 27, 2010
Day # 31 - Confidence
"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Endeavour to live the life which you have imagined." - Henry David Thoreau
"Confidence... is very sexy." - Jack Palance
Note: This was inspired by a series of phone calls I received yesterday. Issues that could easily have been solved by a more confident person. Instead, I had to be called in to make decisions.
What is it about confident people? You can't help being attracted to them. Confidence separates the winners from the losers. Confidence is what a baseball player needs to hit a ball coming at him at 100 miles per hour. It's what a quarterback needs to launch a football to a spot 60 yards away when his receiver isn't there yet. Confidence is how you get a date. Confidence is how you ask for the sale. Confidence is integral to success.
What's the worst answerto any question? "Whatever you want is fine with me," comes to mind. Please understand, I am a confident person, but I usually end up answering my wife that way because I am smart enough to choose my battles.
You wouldn't follow a leader without confidence. Imagine a president who didn't have the courage of his convictions. Never mind, mission accomplished. How about a general leading an army? George Patton was perhaps the greatest general of all time because of his confidence. If he ever felt fear or timidity, he saved it for his private moments. The troops saw a confident man, who knew what had to be done and never second guessed himself.
Ronald Reagan stared down the Soviet Union. Had he flinched, things might have turned out differently. JFK had a similar experience with the Soviets during the Cuban Missile Crisis. These were confident men and their confidence mattered in a way that affected the lives of everyone on the planet.
Think about Yogi Berra, the great Yankee catcher. He was small, uncoordinated, and at first sight looked more like he sould be selling peanuts at Yankee Stadium than playing there. Yet he played in more World Series games and got more rings than any other player. Maybe everyone was right about Yogi. Maybe he wasn't capable of doing those things. It's a good thing Yogi didn't know that.
My point is: be confident. Know you are capable of anything if you put your mind to it. Take a leap of faith. Faith inspires confidence. When you know your life is in the hands of a greater power, a power that always has your best interest in mind, a power that never makes mistakes, you can be confident.
How did Mother Teresa do the things she did? How are miracles performed? How did the Wright Brothers fly? How are bridges built? Think about the first skydiver. The first guy to eat an oyster. The first guy to look at a wooly mammoth and think, "I bet those things taste great!" Where would we be without confidence? Where would we be without Harriet Tubman? Abraham Lincoln? If Donald Trump weren't confident, how could he get away with that ridiculous hairstyle. (Even I'm not that confident.)
Lessons:
- Preparation equals confidence. Do your homework, never fly blind if you can help it
- If there is something you don't like about yourself, change it. If you can't change it, accept it
- Look people in the eye. Nothing betrays your lack of confidence like the inability to hold the gaze of another person
- Know -don't think, know!- that no one is better than you. No one is better than you! (Repeat it as necessary.)
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better
- I am a confident person. My confidence gives me favor in the eyes of people I meet and serves as a shield to protect me
- No one is better than me
- People can only see my qualities, not my flaws
- Today, I will make the effort to improve myself in some small way
Confidence is a choice. You can be confident or you can settle for second best. It really is that simple. Make the choice to be more confident. Commit to it, and it will be so. It's like anything else. You can have it if you want it bad enough.
Make it your best day yet. God bless you.
-Adolfo
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"Confidence... is very sexy." - Jack Palance
Note: This was inspired by a series of phone calls I received yesterday. Issues that could easily have been solved by a more confident person. Instead, I had to be called in to make decisions.
What is it about confident people? You can't help being attracted to them. Confidence separates the winners from the losers. Confidence is what a baseball player needs to hit a ball coming at him at 100 miles per hour. It's what a quarterback needs to launch a football to a spot 60 yards away when his receiver isn't there yet. Confidence is how you get a date. Confidence is how you ask for the sale. Confidence is integral to success.
What's the worst answerto any question? "Whatever you want is fine with me," comes to mind. Please understand, I am a confident person, but I usually end up answering my wife that way because I am smart enough to choose my battles.
You wouldn't follow a leader without confidence. Imagine a president who didn't have the courage of his convictions. Never mind, mission accomplished. How about a general leading an army? George Patton was perhaps the greatest general of all time because of his confidence. If he ever felt fear or timidity, he saved it for his private moments. The troops saw a confident man, who knew what had to be done and never second guessed himself.
Ronald Reagan stared down the Soviet Union. Had he flinched, things might have turned out differently. JFK had a similar experience with the Soviets during the Cuban Missile Crisis. These were confident men and their confidence mattered in a way that affected the lives of everyone on the planet.
Think about Yogi Berra, the great Yankee catcher. He was small, uncoordinated, and at first sight looked more like he sould be selling peanuts at Yankee Stadium than playing there. Yet he played in more World Series games and got more rings than any other player. Maybe everyone was right about Yogi. Maybe he wasn't capable of doing those things. It's a good thing Yogi didn't know that.
My point is: be confident. Know you are capable of anything if you put your mind to it. Take a leap of faith. Faith inspires confidence. When you know your life is in the hands of a greater power, a power that always has your best interest in mind, a power that never makes mistakes, you can be confident.
How did Mother Teresa do the things she did? How are miracles performed? How did the Wright Brothers fly? How are bridges built? Think about the first skydiver. The first guy to eat an oyster. The first guy to look at a wooly mammoth and think, "I bet those things taste great!" Where would we be without confidence? Where would we be without Harriet Tubman? Abraham Lincoln? If Donald Trump weren't confident, how could he get away with that ridiculous hairstyle. (Even I'm not that confident.)
Lessons:
- Preparation equals confidence. Do your homework, never fly blind if you can help it
- If there is something you don't like about yourself, change it. If you can't change it, accept it
- Look people in the eye. Nothing betrays your lack of confidence like the inability to hold the gaze of another person
- Know -don't think, know!- that no one is better than you. No one is better than you! (Repeat it as necessary.)
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better
- I am a confident person. My confidence gives me favor in the eyes of people I meet and serves as a shield to protect me
- No one is better than me
- People can only see my qualities, not my flaws
- Today, I will make the effort to improve myself in some small way
Confidence is a choice. You can be confident or you can settle for second best. It really is that simple. Make the choice to be more confident. Commit to it, and it will be so. It's like anything else. You can have it if you want it bad enough.
Make it your best day yet. God bless you.
-Adolfo
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Saturday, June 26, 2010
Day # 30 - Where you stand determines where you'll land
Another great day. Except, I allowed myself to get caught up in gossip. It's not so much that I initiated or even participated in it, but I didn't distance myself from it. A willing accomplice and I am not proud of it. When you become a part of something like gossip, you are always hurting yourself and your universe. Again, you don't have to say anything to be affected by it. Think of it as second-hand smoke for the soul. You are absorbing the poisons and toxins that are leaving another person's lungs and making them part of your own. Only they are absorbed psychologically, not physiologically.
You've heard me say it before: Garbage in, garbage out. It applies to the food you eat, the air you breathe, and the words you hear. Listen to sad songs all day and you feel sad. Listen to upbeat music and your heart rate increases. Listen to people who are positive, you will be positive. Listen to people who aren't and... well, you get the point.
You are only as good as you want to be. You are as good as you allow yourself to be and a great deal of what determines this is what you hear, see, eat, drink, and associate with.
Show me who your friends are and I'll show you who you are.
Stand on principles. Whatever your principles are, they cannot be compromised. I am not saying they will never change, but once you decide what they are, they can never be compromised. If you are willing to trade those things closest to what makes you the person you are, then there is nothing you will not trade for a moment of comfort or to be accepted by whoever happens to be around at any given moment. Think bigger. Be an excellent person. Be a person of integrity. Anyone can be popular. My challenge to you is to be better.
I failed at this yesterday and I am learning from the experience but not dwelling on it. If you think I'm overreacting, take a look at yourself. Look at your friends. What do you talk about. WHO do you talk about. Did you ever gossip without looking around first? It doesn't matter where you are, you look over your shoulder first because you know you are doing wrong. You know the subject of your whispers would be hurt if they heard you, but you do it anyway.
But the good news is that there is a simple solution: STOP!
Lessons:
- Where you stand determines where you'll land
- Show me who your friends are and I'll show you who you are
- If you have to hide what you are saying, you probably shouldn't be saying it
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better
- I will avoid gossip and all negative talk
- I will never again be a hypocrite
- I will surround myself with positive people and I will be a positive person
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You've heard me say it before: Garbage in, garbage out. It applies to the food you eat, the air you breathe, and the words you hear. Listen to sad songs all day and you feel sad. Listen to upbeat music and your heart rate increases. Listen to people who are positive, you will be positive. Listen to people who aren't and... well, you get the point.
You are only as good as you want to be. You are as good as you allow yourself to be and a great deal of what determines this is what you hear, see, eat, drink, and associate with.
Show me who your friends are and I'll show you who you are.
Stand on principles. Whatever your principles are, they cannot be compromised. I am not saying they will never change, but once you decide what they are, they can never be compromised. If you are willing to trade those things closest to what makes you the person you are, then there is nothing you will not trade for a moment of comfort or to be accepted by whoever happens to be around at any given moment. Think bigger. Be an excellent person. Be a person of integrity. Anyone can be popular. My challenge to you is to be better.
I failed at this yesterday and I am learning from the experience but not dwelling on it. If you think I'm overreacting, take a look at yourself. Look at your friends. What do you talk about. WHO do you talk about. Did you ever gossip without looking around first? It doesn't matter where you are, you look over your shoulder first because you know you are doing wrong. You know the subject of your whispers would be hurt if they heard you, but you do it anyway.
But the good news is that there is a simple solution: STOP!
Lessons:
- Where you stand determines where you'll land
- Show me who your friends are and I'll show you who you are
- If you have to hide what you are saying, you probably shouldn't be saying it
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better
- I will avoid gossip and all negative talk
- I will never again be a hypocrite
- I will surround myself with positive people and I will be a positive person
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Friday, June 25, 2010
Day # 29 - It's all in the approach
No matter what you do in your life, from ordering lunch to asking that special person on a date. your approach will do more to determine the outcome than you know. By approach, I mean your mental state, your attitude, eye contact, posture, demeanor and body language.
- Mental State: Clear your mind, focus on the goal. Eyes on the prize. If you walk into a situation where making the right impression is important and your mind is elsewhere, you will not be able to perform. Be in the moment.
- Attitude: Be positive positive positive and positive, and always be confident. There's nothing else to be said about that.
- Eye contact: When you make good eye contact, it shows you are confident, sincere, and have nothing to hide. I don't mean you stare at a person's eyes like a boxer before a match, but don't fail to hold a glance. Your eyes say more than your mouth ever could.
- Demeanor: Be pleasant. Don't be a grouch or a slouch, and don't be a used car salesman. Listen more than you talk and when you talk, don't brag, don't whine, and don't complain.
- Body language: Remember when your mother would tell you to stand up straight? She was right. Do it.
Why am I telling you this? I am a believer in networking. I think it's a great way to grow your business and social life. But your approach has to be correct. I am not telling you to not be yourself. On the contrary, the less lies you tell, the less you have to remember. By all means, be yourself.
If you are ever in a room full of strangers and need to make friends, these bits of advice will help you. (More on that at another time.)
I am thinking about an event I recently attended where one of the attendees approached me about getting business from my company and the chamber of commerce. Their approach was to complain and point out that their competitor was getting more business than they were. This person pointed out that there were people who didn't treat them nice or say hello. I wasn't feeling very well and so couldn't bring out the correct words of advice - so I am writing them.
It wasn't bad enough that I was told all this, the person went and repeated the same story to other chamber members. You want a bad reputation? Whine. Repeat. I would never betray this person's confidence, but not everyone is like me.
The approach is never to complain. If you feel you're not getting your fair share, analyze the situation and figure out why. 99% of the time, the problem is you. There is no conspiracy. You're clueless or you're not working hard enough. End of story.
Lessons:
- It's all in the approach.
- Analyze your situation. Find the problem and solve it.
- Work harder and smarter.
- Quit complaining.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better.
- Today I will change my approach to life.
- I will be a worker, not a complainer.
- I will analyze situations to find the problems and fix them.
With the right attitude, everything gets better and easier. Change the way you look at things, and the things you look at will change. This is true. I can testify to that. Some day I will. When the words are right.
Make it your best day yet. God bless you.
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- Mental State: Clear your mind, focus on the goal. Eyes on the prize. If you walk into a situation where making the right impression is important and your mind is elsewhere, you will not be able to perform. Be in the moment.
- Attitude: Be positive positive positive and positive, and always be confident. There's nothing else to be said about that.
- Eye contact: When you make good eye contact, it shows you are confident, sincere, and have nothing to hide. I don't mean you stare at a person's eyes like a boxer before a match, but don't fail to hold a glance. Your eyes say more than your mouth ever could.
- Demeanor: Be pleasant. Don't be a grouch or a slouch, and don't be a used car salesman. Listen more than you talk and when you talk, don't brag, don't whine, and don't complain.
- Body language: Remember when your mother would tell you to stand up straight? She was right. Do it.
Why am I telling you this? I am a believer in networking. I think it's a great way to grow your business and social life. But your approach has to be correct. I am not telling you to not be yourself. On the contrary, the less lies you tell, the less you have to remember. By all means, be yourself.
If you are ever in a room full of strangers and need to make friends, these bits of advice will help you. (More on that at another time.)
I am thinking about an event I recently attended where one of the attendees approached me about getting business from my company and the chamber of commerce. Their approach was to complain and point out that their competitor was getting more business than they were. This person pointed out that there were people who didn't treat them nice or say hello. I wasn't feeling very well and so couldn't bring out the correct words of advice - so I am writing them.
It wasn't bad enough that I was told all this, the person went and repeated the same story to other chamber members. You want a bad reputation? Whine. Repeat. I would never betray this person's confidence, but not everyone is like me.
The approach is never to complain. If you feel you're not getting your fair share, analyze the situation and figure out why. 99% of the time, the problem is you. There is no conspiracy. You're clueless or you're not working hard enough. End of story.
Lessons:
- It's all in the approach.
- Analyze your situation. Find the problem and solve it.
- Work harder and smarter.
- Quit complaining.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better.
- Today I will change my approach to life.
- I will be a worker, not a complainer.
- I will analyze situations to find the problems and fix them.
With the right attitude, everything gets better and easier. Change the way you look at things, and the things you look at will change. This is true. I can testify to that. Some day I will. When the words are right.
Make it your best day yet. God bless you.
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Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Day # 28 - It's a marathon. Not a sprint.
I have never been a patient person. I was always short-tempered, fidgety, it's just my nature. I have no patience. Well, I do now. I am learning it, but it's a long-time habit that won't be broken completely in a mere 28 days. I have been working on improving my patience for a long time and I'm learning tricks. I would like to share them with you.
1. Let it go. Recognize that you can't make everything happen at the speed you want it to happen. Impatience is about not accepting that things are out of your control.
2. Find a distraction. If all you focus on is whatever is causing the impatience, it will only seem worse. For example, if I am ever going any place where I know I'll have to wait, I bring a book. Sure, I could play solitaire on my phone, but that seems like a waste of time.
3. Give yourself time. If you tend to run into traffic every morning, and it causes you stress because you're nervous about being late, give yourself a little time. Listen to a book on CD, use the time wisely. I also find tuning in to classical music helps me. Classical music feeds your imagination in a way that contemporary music just can't.
There are more, but these are the three biggies that pop into mind.
I've been thinking all day about Steve Prefontaine. Prefontaine was a runner who died in the 1970's. He is widely considered to be one of the best runners ever, having won 120 races. I watched a film of his life a couple of years ago and until then I thought running was simply a matter of who was fastest and had the greater endurance. I never would have guessed there was strategy beyond left foot, right foot, repeat.
The truth is there is a lot of strategy that goes into something as simple as a race. There is pacing, there is a time to draft, a time to attack. You need to know what your opponent is doing and what he's capable of. All while pounding the pavement while your lungs overflow with battery acid. For me, a walk to the mailbox is enough to get my lungs aching, but I'm no Prefontaine.
I am impatient. I know that I have a long way to go before my year is up and even longer to be the man I wish to be. My goals are a million miles away and while I am traveling at high speed and have plenty of fuel for the journey, I am becoming bored and my impatience, my ridiculous impatience, is rearing its ugly head.
I know this is a test. I know that this is another withdrawal symptom. I know this is not failure or even a stumbling block. It's part of the detoxification of my character. It's a part of the cleansing of my mind, body, and soul.
Knowing it's a test is no guarantee that I will pass. I know I am vulnerable. I have taken on a lot. In the midst of this experiment, I decided to give up caffeine. It's been 12 days since I've had it and I feel more energized than ever before. In fact, here I am, wide awake. I have not had any fast food in as many days and neither have my children. I am committed to their health and well-being, too. Although, I know they get soda pop at grandma's house. Yeah, I called it soda pop. So what? But in my house, and in my presence, it's water, milk, juice. In that order. We are all feeling better, thank you very much.
So, like a runner, a fat runner with bad knees, I am trudging along. I am tempted to stop and rest, to take a break. No one's watching. No one will ever know, right? Wrong. God knows. I know. This is bigger than one day. This is bigger than one year. This is about all the years that will follow this one. This is about whether the rest of my life will be something of value or just another life.
Lessons:
- It's a marathon. Not a sprint. Plan out the run. Pace yourself.
- There will always be tests. Keep your pencil sharpened and eat a healthy breakfast.
- It's not about the bad. It's about the good. Become a hunter of silver linings.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better.
- I will be patient.
- I will pace myself.
- I will do the right thing because it is the right thing.
Remember, with patience grass becomes milk.
Make it your best day ever. God bless you.
- Adolfo
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1. Let it go. Recognize that you can't make everything happen at the speed you want it to happen. Impatience is about not accepting that things are out of your control.
2. Find a distraction. If all you focus on is whatever is causing the impatience, it will only seem worse. For example, if I am ever going any place where I know I'll have to wait, I bring a book. Sure, I could play solitaire on my phone, but that seems like a waste of time.
3. Give yourself time. If you tend to run into traffic every morning, and it causes you stress because you're nervous about being late, give yourself a little time. Listen to a book on CD, use the time wisely. I also find tuning in to classical music helps me. Classical music feeds your imagination in a way that contemporary music just can't.
There are more, but these are the three biggies that pop into mind.
I've been thinking all day about Steve Prefontaine. Prefontaine was a runner who died in the 1970's. He is widely considered to be one of the best runners ever, having won 120 races. I watched a film of his life a couple of years ago and until then I thought running was simply a matter of who was fastest and had the greater endurance. I never would have guessed there was strategy beyond left foot, right foot, repeat.
The truth is there is a lot of strategy that goes into something as simple as a race. There is pacing, there is a time to draft, a time to attack. You need to know what your opponent is doing and what he's capable of. All while pounding the pavement while your lungs overflow with battery acid. For me, a walk to the mailbox is enough to get my lungs aching, but I'm no Prefontaine.
I am impatient. I know that I have a long way to go before my year is up and even longer to be the man I wish to be. My goals are a million miles away and while I am traveling at high speed and have plenty of fuel for the journey, I am becoming bored and my impatience, my ridiculous impatience, is rearing its ugly head.
I know this is a test. I know that this is another withdrawal symptom. I know this is not failure or even a stumbling block. It's part of the detoxification of my character. It's a part of the cleansing of my mind, body, and soul.
Knowing it's a test is no guarantee that I will pass. I know I am vulnerable. I have taken on a lot. In the midst of this experiment, I decided to give up caffeine. It's been 12 days since I've had it and I feel more energized than ever before. In fact, here I am, wide awake. I have not had any fast food in as many days and neither have my children. I am committed to their health and well-being, too. Although, I know they get soda pop at grandma's house. Yeah, I called it soda pop. So what? But in my house, and in my presence, it's water, milk, juice. In that order. We are all feeling better, thank you very much.
So, like a runner, a fat runner with bad knees, I am trudging along. I am tempted to stop and rest, to take a break. No one's watching. No one will ever know, right? Wrong. God knows. I know. This is bigger than one day. This is bigger than one year. This is about all the years that will follow this one. This is about whether the rest of my life will be something of value or just another life.
Lessons:
- It's a marathon. Not a sprint. Plan out the run. Pace yourself.
- There will always be tests. Keep your pencil sharpened and eat a healthy breakfast.
- It's not about the bad. It's about the good. Become a hunter of silver linings.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better.
- I will be patient.
- I will pace myself.
- I will do the right thing because it is the right thing.
Remember, with patience grass becomes milk.
Make it your best day ever. God bless you.
- Adolfo
Start building your Success Library!
Follow me on Twitter
Friend me on Facebook
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