As the aftermath of the family tragedy unfolds, I find myself completely lost. I want to learn and grow from this loss. I want to do more for those I love. I am at a loss for words, unusual, I know, but true.
It was my instinct to withdraw. Is that normal? I went counter to my instinct and went about my day as best I could, knowing the departed would want us to be productive, not reclusive.
I try to understand what only God can understand and I am reminded of my limitations. I want to take the pain of the world and swallow it, squeeze it, and make it die. But I can't. I have no such power. I can barely deal with my own pain. How can I help you with yours? What can one do in moments like these? Pray. Hope. Love.
I am afraid of standing still, of going forward, of the cold I feel in my hands. I am afraid I am not feeling enough, or feeling too much, or if I'm feeling the right things. How do I know? I don't. I won't.
I am afraid for my mother, who is so hurt by all of this. I am afraid for my aunt, who has been through so much and now the ultimate tragedy.
Then I pause, and I realize that I don't need to be afraid. I have God and there is where my strength lies. I have people around me who love me, and there is where I prop myself up. I have children who look to me for leadership, and from them I find my motivation.
Someone told me yesterday, "When you die, your inbox will still be full." Kinda makes you think about what really matters, doesn't it?
God bless you. Make it a great day.
- Adolfo
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment