Most of my friends are people I’ve worked with. I met my wife at work, as well as my ex-wife, and my ex-girlfriend. Most friendships of this kind seem to revolve around office gossip or remembering how lousy the boss was if you no longer work there. It almost seems that once you’re done complaining about the boss or some ridiculous policy or your lousy pay, there is nothing left to talk about. Friendships like these are akin to living in the past. Think about the conversations you have with your friends. How much of the time spent talking with them is focused on the future, happiness, dreams, success and goals? How much time is spent complaining about work, relationship troubles, bills, the economy, your lousy boss, your lousy check, etc.?
Is this really what friends are for? I have friends I rarely hear from. I call to say hi and they chew my ear off for an hour about how terrible their life is. After a while, I just stop calling. Everyone has problems, but everyone has blessings, too. If you can’t find something to be happy about, you aren’t trying hard enough. You are enjoying the self-pity and the attention (however negative) your whining is getting you. Move on. I have no time for you anymore.
If you have relationships like this, you should change them. Try to find something more positive to focus on. Don’t piss and moan about work all the time, don’t engage in the kind of talk that elicits eye-rolls and sighs from the other person. Talk about the way you and your friends can make the future better for yourselves. Be an accountability partner for your friend. Encourage each other to strive, to rise, to achieve more. In other words, quit bitching and start growing. Rise higher and bring your friend with you. Put the relationship to the test. Can you survive without the anger and cynicism of the past? If not, if you have no other common ground, it may benefit you to put some distance between yourself and the other person.
This doesn’t apply only to friends. It applies to co-workers, neighbors, and even to family members. Negativity is not only destructive, it’s indiscriminate. It doesn’t matter where it comes from. The person who loves you most in the world can shoot you with a gun. You will still be shot. A total stranger can give you food when you’re starving, and you will still be fed. Eliminate the negative people in your life. If they are family, limit the contact you have with them. You’ll be glad you did.
- Adolfo
http://ayearwithoutnews.blogspot.com
http://www.cakewhimsybyabdaliz.com
http://www.honeybeepartyrental.com
http://www.facebook.com/adolfojimenez1
http://www.twitter.com/adolfojimenez
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment