I have to admit, I am sluggish this morning. I told myself that if I didn't write no one would care. That may be true in a way. Maybe no one else will care if I skip a day or if I quit altogether. But, sorry for the way this will sound, this isn't about you, it's about me. I made a commitment to see this thing through and I will. To take a day off would be failure. So, if you're reading this, thank you. If it's not my best work, know that it is my best effort.
I spoke with an old friend yesterday. We spoke for close to an hour and it was probably one of the best conversations she and I have had in our relationship. We're talking 15 years. I realized how alike she and I are. I would always give her a hard time because she would have a victim mentality. I thought she had an overall negative outlook on life, and although I never told her this, I believed she brought these things on herself. Now, I know she brought these things on herself.
I also realized how alike she and I were (are.)
Where she would allow the negative things to bring her down, I allowed them to amp me up - in a negative way. My angry to her sad. Neither is productive. Both are destructive. I came to realize the things that disappointed my about my friend were things that exist in me. I was projecting.
The conversation we had yesterday was unlike any I can remember having. We talked about my blog and what this exercise means to me, we talked about how I'm changing. And we talked about how she's handling her feelings and how she's changing. Go figure. We had to grow up in order to start growing up.
I realize I was judging her and I know that I am no one to judge. That's up to God and people who were black robes and take themselves seriously. It's time to rebuild my glass house.
People, friends in particular, serve as mirrors. Sometimes, we need to examine the way we may feel about a friend or relative in order to take a look inside ourselves. Are we seeing the person as they are, or are we seeing them as we are? If there are things about your friends that you don't like, you should maybe examine why you're still friends. Is this person more messed up than you are? If so, you might hang around them to feel bigger. If this is the case, it is your obligation as human being and a friend to help build this person up. Tell them why they are special to you. I am not a believer in the "everybody is special" politically correct nonsense. But I do believe that we are all blessed with certain gifts and talents and we sin against our Creator when we let them go to waste.
She mentioned something in our conversation about her job that I want to share with you. Now, I have always known her as a workaholic. She is a very talented, educated person and she works very well. She was my boss on two different occasions so I witnessed firsthand the passion with which she approaches her work. When we spoke yesterday (Friday) she was home with her kids. That was impossible way back when. She was always glued to her office.
She is with a new company now and she said one thing she did right off the bat was set boundaries. She is, barring a catastrophe, out the door by 5:00 to go pick up her kids and take them home to have dinner as a family. She used to try to find an alternative for the kids. Now, she finds an alternative for her work. She shifted priorities by setting boundaries. She sounded happier than she ever had before. I could even hear it in her kids' voices.
I'm proud of my friend. She is doing well. I'm afraid she may be growing up (I will never make that mistake.) Most of all, I feel good because I know she is getting better. I know that if she keeps changing her attitude, she will receive the blessings which have eluded her for so long.
Lessons:
- When you make a commitment, keep it. Even if you don't feel like it.
- Old friends (and new ones) are not only there to listen, they are there to be heard.
- If you live in a glass house, don't throw stones. Oh, and invest in a robe and curtains.
- If you're having trouble prioritizing, set boundaries, it's a great first step.
- Kids grow up. Enjoy them now.
Today's Declarations:
- Day by day in every way, I am getting better and better.
- Today I will not judge others.
- Today I will be a friend to someone who needs one.
- Today I will sort out my priorities by setting boundaries in my work, social, and personal life.
There's an old poem, I don't know who wrote it, which says:
Think most where man's fortune begins and where it ends
And think mine was that I had such friends
Nobody does it alone. You and I are no exception. You have a friend who needs your help. You know who it is. Pick up the phone and call this person. Listen to them. Build them up. Be there for them. You will be doing more for yourself in the process than you can imagine.
Make it your best day yet. God bless you.
Adolfo
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