Monday, June 21, 2010

Day # 25 - So what if it's Father's Day?

Okay, so I got a really nice shirt and a beautiful necktie. Loved them both. Of course, I don't wear ties to work anymore so let me know if anyone's having a wedding I can crash. It was sweet to be with the girls in the morning. AJ came by and spent the afternoon with us and helped me with some work I had to do (yes, I worked on Father's Day - business owners understand.)

AJ is 18 today. We talked about what he's going to do now that high school is fading into glory day status and the future beckons. He mentioned going to school in Europe. I think it's a wonderful idea and I support him a hundred percent. Of course, I immediately shifted into Dad mode, talking about how he needs to find and apply to schools now because we are in the post 9-11 world and the processing could take months if not years and on and on I went.

I think I over did it. He shut down on me. I forget how much like me he is. I also was reminded of how much like my father I am so I know that this will correct itself with time.

Yesterday I wrote about sharing your wisdom. I guess I should have mentioned that sharing and force-feeding are not the same thing. He is a very mature (now 18 year old) boy. Wise beyond his years. But he is still my child and I feel like I have to help him. Sometimes the best way to help is by not helping at all. Sometimes you just have to be there and hope you have answers when they have questions.

When AJ's mother and I went our separate ways, I went into a deep depression. Steven, my oldest, was in New York and I new nothing of him, my marriage had fallen apart, and I was alone, living in my mother's house, divorced with two sons in two different states. I was 21 years old.

I was a high school dropout. I quit my job because I was working for the uncle of the woman who'd just left me. Honestly, that part is hazy. I don't remember how it happened. All I do know is I was unemployed.

In my depression, only one thing kept me together, and that was AJ. I call him Junior, but he now prefers AJ. He kept me from going off the deep end. He kept me sane. He kept me from doing anything stupid.

The point of this is: That while I had failed at so many things by the time I was old enough to have a beer, it was something that was added to my life by a power bigger than myself, something that I didn't ask for or expect, that made my life worth living. It was because of AJ that I didn't give up. Eventually I would drive to New York and reconnect with Steven. I would earn my GED and go to college. I would climb the corporate and social ladder, start businesses, write, and lead organizations. All because a little boy who had no idea how much he meant to his father was placed in my care. All because God entrusted me with one of his angels.

Lessons:

- Tell your parents you love them.
- Tell your children you love them. Tell them as part of your greeting and when you say good-bye. Say it out of the blue. It means more than you know.
- Fathers: You are the model for the man your daughters will marry and the man your sons will be.

Today's Declarations:

- Day by day in every way I am getting better and better.
- Today I will be the parent my children deserve.
- Today I will be the child my parents deserve.
- I am blessed with infinite love, and I will share it.
- I am a positive role model for my children.

When I started writing this morning, I had no ide where I would go with this. It's all stream-of-consciousness, and I don't edit. If it doesn't make sense, that is why. If it does, then that is why.

Make it your best day ever. God bless you.

- Adolfo

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