Day # 87 - Being here

We're in the pool at the Y. Emily is floating on her back. She's a little nervous and wants to be able to feel me near her as she lays there with her eyes closed. She ask me not to leave her alone. I wouldn't dream of leaving her alone, and all I can think to say is, "Daddy's here."

At the end of the pool, there's a man who came with his kids. His kids are roughhousing and the lifeguard keeps blowing her whistle at them. The "father" is on the phone, oblivious to his kids.

I understand the importance of work. I know sometimes you have to take calls at inconvenient times, but what could be more important than your kids and what time could be more inconvenient to take a phone call than the little time spent with them? Had he any intention of being "there" he would not have had his phone. It would have been in his gym bag or hidden under his shirt. Frankly, I would have preferred for his furry back to be hidden under his shirt, but that's a whole other column.

The simple words I told my daughter, "Daddy's here," meant the world to her. She knew she was safe. She knew there was someone nearby who loves her more than anyone else loves her and that no matter what, she was going to be protected. I started thinking about how many kids never hear those words. I think about how many kids barely know their fathers and how many have never met their fathers. What poor excuse for a man could live with himself under those circumstances?

Any man can take a woman to bed. It's the easiest thing in the world. You don't even have to do it well to create a child. It requires no license or screening. It requires nothing but a willingness to engage in pleasurable behavior. Gee, tall order.

Our society has almost made fathers irrelevant. I remember when I was a single dad and people would see me with my sons. The would tell me how great it was that I was there for my kids. My answer was always, "Where else would I be if not there for my children?" It was always my feeling that I didn't deserve praise for being a father any more than an employee deserves praise for showing up to work. I do, however, believe that deadbeat dads should be humiliated. I believe their faces should be plastered on billboards across America. It's not a privacy issue. When a man fails to be a man, we pick up the tab in the form of welfare, food stamps, W.I.C. and the like. When that kid ends up in jail, and he is more likely to end up in jail, we are the victims of his crimes and we get to pay the bill for his housing and sustenance.

The point of this is that something as simple as being there can make all the difference in the world. Sure, a man must deal with his financial obligations to his kids, but being a father is priceless and the returns are astronomical. While there are exceptions, Barack Obama being the most notable, most kids who grow up without a father don't make it out of high school, much less through Harvard.

The lesson today is that kids need fathers. While it's become fashionable to be a single mother, there is no doubt that a kid is better with two parents. Fathers are the model for the man their sons will become and the man their daughters will marry. Don't you want that person to be a man of honor?

God bless you and may you be a blessing to your children. Make it your best day yet.

- Adolfo

Start building your Success Library!
Follow me on Twitter
Friend me on Facebook
Follow A Year Without News